Why is it so hard for a Taur
This topic was created in the Taurus forum by NikkiMse1978 on Tuesday, September 18, 2012 and has 23 replies.
to talk to someone? Instead you avoid confrontation therefore creating more of it, when you try to avoid it in the first place. Wouldn't it be easier to communicate what you are feeling instead of avoiding, pulling away and ignoring the person?
Just asking
Just asking
I understand the confrontational and agression part. Ive been that person to a Taur and they ignore you for days, weeks and months. In my situation it was weeks. Same thing is happening, so that is why I am asking.
Do you honestly think you can have friends, lovers or a partner when you avoid and ignore? I guess it doesn't make sense to me bcus I am a Sag and I need to always talk about it.
Do you honestly think you can have friends, lovers or a partner when you avoid and ignore? I guess it doesn't make sense to me bcus I am a Sag and I need to always talk about it.
By and large (speaking for myself), while I don't prefer confrontation, I don't shy away from it either. With that being said, I know how caustic my tongue can get, so I prefer to only communicate when I am not angry, because if I have a conversation with someone and I feel it's getting out of control, ie, someone talking over me, raising their voice, getting belligerent, I know, for a fact it's not going to bode well for either of us. I wrote about this in another thread, and I think, in general, that Tauruses know that you can't take words away, and word DO hurt people, so we simply chose not to say something that we may regret in the future. NOW, with that being said, if I don't give a damn about you, or what you think of me, and don't care about our relationship, then rest assured, you'll hear and know EXACTLY what is on my mind, because to me, I have nothing to lose since I could care less about that person and maintaining that relationship anyway ... not saying it's a good thing, or positive trait, but it's who I am.
Forgot to mention, NONE of the Tauruses that I know personally have "diarrhea of the mouth." While we like to converse and learn about people, we tend to be pretty reserved and do more listening and watching than we do talking. BUT, when we are happy, comfortable and know the person/people, then we'll be more outgoing and talkative; otherwise, we tend to sit back and watch. If you notice, just on this board, there may be a thread on here for a few hours or even days, before there is a response, because we are taking the information and determining how best to respond.
I find all Earth sign people to be reserved and non confrontational. That's what Earth is all about, being grounded and centered. When they do decide to confront, it is going to be disastrous. When the Earth quakes we have an Earthquake.
The Earth people I know don't really have an off switch. When they are turned all the way up ...it's gonna be a lot of slow singing and flower bringing.
As opposed to Fire signs who will get all up in your face but will never actually do anything.
The Earth people I know don't really have an off switch. When they are turned all the way up ...it's gonna be a lot of slow singing and flower bringing.
As opposed to Fire signs who will get all up in your face but will never actually do anything.
What USCTaurusgirl said is a GREAT explanation and shows you are great at communicating! You just might wait to long to do it.
"With that said just don't push us to talk about something when we're doing the silence thing. I have a reeeeeaally
bad temper I try my hardest to control it but when people push me I'll say the meanest things and act like a straight
up maniac. People (grown men too) run when I get angry."
@Harry99 - Yepppers! Most people have never even seen me upset. My ex-fianc? saw me upset a couple of times in our 8+ year relationship and his words, he said, "You scare me." Again, I am not proud of that, but "it is what it is." I HATE when people get me to that point, because in MY minds eye, I am so much better than that. I DON'T stoop to anyone's level. I know there are PLENTY of people don't care about showing their a $ $ es and being just having socially unacceptable behavior, but I do. I hold myself to a HIGH standard, and if I feel someone has dragged me down to their level, I am FIRST pissed off at myself, and 2nd, pissed off at them. I don't think it's cute or anything. I'm all about harmony, fun and love; if you take me from my happy place, nothing good is coming from it...
bad temper I try my hardest to control it but when people push me I'll say the meanest things and act like a straight
up maniac. People (grown men too) run when I get angry."
@Harry99 - Yepppers! Most people have never even seen me upset. My ex-fianc? saw me upset a couple of times in our 8+ year relationship and his words, he said, "You scare me." Again, I am not proud of that, but "it is what it is." I HATE when people get me to that point, because in MY minds eye, I am so much better than that. I DON'T stoop to anyone's level. I know there are PLENTY of people don't care about showing their a $ $ es and being just having socially unacceptable behavior, but I do. I hold myself to a HIGH standard, and if I feel someone has dragged me down to their level, I am FIRST pissed off at myself, and 2nd, pissed off at them. I don't think it's cute or anything. I'm all about harmony, fun and love; if you take me from my happy place, nothing good is coming from it...
The Earth people I know don't really have an off switch. When they are turned all the way up ...it's gonna be a lot of slow singing and flower bringing.
Can you elaborate on this?
Can you elaborate on this?
Posted by NikkiMse1978
The Earth people I know don't really have an off switch. When they are turned all the way up ...it's gonna be a lot of slow singing and flower bringing.
Can you elaborate on this?
I guess Virgo R did before I even had a chance to read it!
So in other words you are all saying to back off? LOL.
I did a day and a half of nagging, pushing, yadda, yadda. I am getting the silent treatment. The last time that happended it went on for 5 weeks!
I am a fire sign, and I can dish it as much as I can take it! HA HA
I did a day and a half of nagging, pushing, yadda, yadda. I am getting the silent treatment. The last time that happended it went on for 5 weeks!
I am a fire sign, and I can dish it as much as I can take it! HA HA
Kitty-You are right on. It is so hard for me to just sit back and wait while a mind is thinking and trying to decipher fact from fiction. The last time I gave the Taur space-it took 5 weeks for him to make up his mind! To me that is not kosher. You equally have to listen as much as you talk.
I do see your point though. I do tend to push, feel low and unloved when my partner does not want to talk. I take it so personally!!! Lesson to me-back off and think of ME at the same time. Great sounding advice Kitty! Thank you
I do see your point though. I do tend to push, feel low and unloved when my partner does not want to talk. I take it so personally!!! Lesson to me-back off and think of ME at the same time. Great sounding advice Kitty!
Thank youPosted by VirgoR
Nikki:
I'll need to think some to provide you a substantive answer. I've dated 2 Sags in my life. The first was a 1.5 year relationship and the second Sag, years later, caught me off guard. I didn't realize she was a Sag until she kissed me. I said, "Hey, that kiss feels familiar, have we dated previously"? They both kissed alike which was interesting to me.
I'll have to exhume some old memories. That was long ago.
While I am pondering I want to tell you I love visiting Chicago. When I fly there, I make an effort to dine at Charlie Trotter's, downtown. Ever been there? I also attend the antique show in Sandwich.
Nikki, you're an attractive lady and should not have difficulty reeling in just about any guy you please. What is it about this Taurus that has you so smitten?
If exhuming old memories causes you pain, by no means do you have to. Sags are fabulous, but we can be a bit extreme or ovrewhelming in our thinking. I know that is part of me for sure.
Where are you from? I have never been to Charlie Trotters.
The Taur brings up my old memories of a lover past I beleive. He and I keep coming back because my karmic lessons are not learned I beleive. He is a great guy, but he has too much baggage with his ex. I am setting him free to explore that and to learn his lessons as well.
Posted by VirgoRPosted by NikkiMse1978
I understand the confrontational and agression part. Ive been that person to a Taur and they ignore you for days, weeks and months. In my situation it was weeks. Same thing is happening, so that is why I am asking.
Do you honestly think you can have friends, lovers or a partner when you avoid and ignore? I guess it doesn't make sense to me bcus I am a Sag and I need to always talk about it.
@Nikki
I think the reason the two of you clash is that he wants it his way and you the same. It seems to me there isn't enough communication and compromise between the two of you.click to expand
Yup! I agree. I stated that to him this past weekend as a matter of fact. What happened was what happened before....I want to talk, he pulls away and then DONE! So I totally see your point.
Posted by NikkiMse1978
So in other words you are all saying to back off? LOL.
I did a day and a half of nagging, pushing, yadda, yadda. I am getting the silent treatment. The last time that happended it went on for 5 weeks!
I am a fire sign, and I can dish it as much as I can take it! HA HA
Bwahahaa. I'm not even a man and I bridled at this. You'd be lucky if I broke wind in your general direction after that.
That is a little harsh
Talking (communication), thinking then talking or coming to a compromise are key to a relationship thriving. Lying (as the Taur did) and then thinking about what to do when I confronted him, is not the type of relationship I want. I do not tolerate liars nor cheats and he did both.
I guess I will be the one to "blow wind" in his direction, since I have eliminated him from my life already. And I know what you are going to say....then why post on the boards? I am posting to gain a better insight into myself and the male psyche and to see how to best apply my new knowledge to me and my future self.
I guess I will be the one to "blow wind" in his direction, since I have eliminated him from my life already. And I know what you are going to say....then why post on the boards? I am posting to gain a better insight into myself and the male psyche and to see how to best apply my new knowledge to me and my future self.
Harsh? Not really. Honest? Yes. If someone is nagging and pushing and shoving it is an absolute guarantee that I will wall up.
If you have indeed removed him from mind and heart, why bother? You've ascertained that he is no longer a part of your life. And truly his instance is his alone. Some of this isn't even about him necessarily, it is your need for constant strokes. Not everyone requires them. It is good that you and he have parted ways early on, because I truly feel it would have degraded in time all on its own.
If you have indeed removed him from mind and heart, why bother? You've ascertained that he is no longer a part of your life. And truly his instance is his alone. Some of this isn't even about him necessarily, it is your need for constant strokes. Not everyone requires them. It is good that you and he have parted ways early on, because I truly feel it would have degraded in time all on its own.
Posted by USCTaurusGal
If you notice, just on this board, there may be a thread on here for a few hours or even days, before there is a response, because we are taking the information and determining how best to respond.
that or we're too lazy to be bothered
Posted by venusianbull
Harsh? Not really. Honest? Yes. If someone is nagging and pushing and shoving it is an absolute guarantee that I will wall up.
If you have indeed removed him from mind and heart, why bother? You've ascertained that he is no longer a part of your life. And truly his instance is his alone. Some of this isn't even about him necessarily, it is your need for constant strokes. Not everyone requires them. It is good that you and he have parted ways early on, because I truly feel it would have degraded in time all on its own.
Just wanted to talk to him was all. I do not need "constant strokes" just a man who is willing to work on issues, discuss, embrace them then release them. One who after the talking, it brings us closer, and not farther away.
Trust me, I also beleive it is a good thing we parted ways. In the end, it is what it is and it is on him. Not me. You cannot possibly fool yourself into having a loving relationship if you don't even know how to love or be in a relationship in the first place.
Lessons of life, the divine and universe are at play here. And I do wish him nothing but peace, light and love.
Posted by caligulaPosted by USCTaurusGal
If you notice, just on this board, there may be a thread on here for a few hours or even days, before there is a response, because we are taking the information and determining how best to respond.
that or we're too lazy to be botheredclick to expand
LAZY! That is it! Eureka!
LOLWe were not together when he slept with his ex. It was however a punch in the face. So no cheating as the term means literally. He just lied about it bcus he didn't know how I would react. After 3 days of him calling me, texting means showing up at my house I needed space to think. I pointed out wrong doings on both of our parts. Apologized for my actions and let it be. My own insecure mind and heart overreacted to how he was acting ( or how I thought he should be acting) and then in turn he became upset with me and now has not spoken to me in a week! The last time it was 5 weeks before he contacted me again. I honestly thought he never would...
And now here I am. Living life, breathing, doing me and still thinking if him. I have him in my heart, but I've let go if him to take care of his baggage with his ex. It's his sons mother and there is too much there for him to deal with. He needs to break that karmic circle before he can ever take on a relationship that has substance or before he can really love someone with abandon.
And now here I am. Living life, breathing, doing me and still thinking if him. I have him in my heart, but I've let go if him to take care of his baggage with his ex. It's his sons mother and there is too much there for him to deal with. He needs to break that karmic circle before he can ever take on a relationship that has substance or before he can really love someone with abandon.
@ nikki. I would just leave him alone. One thing I learn frm a taurus was that if they really want u ,u will see it. There will be effect in there part. There will be a lot of focus and determination toward u. But if they don't do nothing then they don't care. These people u can read there action by wat they do do and wat they don't do. I'm with u on the talking shit out thing,but most taurus who hide or run frm the problem they do this cause they no they the one that's wronge. If they go away and disapear frm a issue most likely they wronge and can't come up with some bullshit lie or they just don't give fuck about u anymore to try to work the shit out. Now if they are wronge but still want to work it out they will hold a conversation about things that's off topic frm the issue. Now u have more mature taurus he will just say u right I'm wronge so on but that taurus have to have a lot of respect for u to even do that. Now if they believe they are right and want to fight there point it would be in your face kind of attidude. A lot of over talking loud ,and saying there point. Then u have the taurus that wronge but still want to fight there point so they will get loud about everything besides the dam main point of the argruement that means they want to fight for u but still want to keep there dam lie going.
Leave that dude alone, no person need to be dealing with that on and off bullshit. Because everytime u argue its going to be a pattern
Leave that dude alone, no person need to be dealing with that on and off bullshit. Because everytime u argue its going to be a pattern
Thank you ecent! You are right on
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