Why we're hot and cold.....

This topic was created in the Taurus forum by TaurusBull1977 on Friday, March 1, 2013 and has 41 replies.
I read a lot of the threads from posters who are quite confused about our ambiguous behavioral patterns.
I can't speak for every Taurus on this forum (There are many similar patterns...but there also slight differences due to the natal charts)
I'm hot when I meet an individual who makes me feel safe, gives me butterflies in my stomach, and is completely honest. I may not be the most verbal individual in the world, but I will reciprocate my gratitude for finding someone special through subtle gestures, plenty of affection, making them feel loved, nurtured and safe as well, loyalty, being their rock, active listening, and giving them advice.
I'm cold when everything presented before me was a lie. Any slight inconsistency in your words, movements or actions will cause me to "zig-zag"...no more predictable linear movements from me. This means no affection, no loving, no communication, no visits.
I'm a fixed sign...changeable personalities, smoking mirrors, false pretenses, lies, manipulation, not being someone of your words will leave me sick to my stomach.
Any respect I had for you will now turn into DISGUST!
I'm not highly verbal when my feelings for an individual has changed (Sun:Taurus, Mercury:Taurus)
This may shift from hot to cold and vice versa, if I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt...
Because I can't negate what I feel for this person.
But when the BS detector meter is at an all time high
I'm DONE!
I mentally prepare myself to move on.
I verbalize NOTHING (I know, not a good trait, I'm working on thisSad )
I don't look back.
I hate regressing.
Too many bad memories.
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but your a woman and most of the post are about Taurus men.....your reasons are valid but I believe theres more to it that what you wrote, as far as other bulls are concerned. YOu can only speak for yourself not every bull has the same reasons for running hot and cold.
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Posted by SweetLibra
Great post. I have a question if you don't mind:
I met a Taurus awhile back (4th qtr 2012). We hit it off great right off the bat. He was pursuing and I was receptive. Very shortly after we met I had some workplace & family business/drama take place which had me all discombobulated. Because we were so new I did not inform him of what was going on. I don't like drama and I wasn't about to drag some poor unsuspecting soul into it either. But my behavior definitely changed. I was so focused on the other things that I was less than attentive. I missed phone calls, was very slow about returning messages, and even showed up very late for a date. For the record the date was at his place and I had communicated that I was running late and he was still open to seeing me. Well, I get there and I am just not myself and long story short, it was a nice encounter but I by no means shined. Communication waned even more after that date until we just weren't speaking anymore.
Emotions being out of whack, I was upset with him for giving up so easily. He reached out a month later. I responded but he never replied back. This pissed me off even more. He reached out again another month later on New Years Eve. I replied but I took my sweet time about it (several days later) and he never replied back. I'm taking the bulk of the responsibility for why this relationship didn't work out. It's possible it would have failed no matter what. But this was the one guy who had really peaked my interest in a long time and now that things are back to normal and I can think straight, I'm entertaining the idea of contacting him.
I know more about Taurus' now and understand why he disappeared. I'm sure he was more than confused by me. My question is, after all that hot, cold, back, forth, will he even be open to hearing from me? He has a birthday coming up in April. If I just send him a happy birthday message could that reopen the door to communicating again or would a Taurus who has written someone off not be phased by it? Should my gesture be more grand? I know this is one big clusterfuck. Go easy on me. Be honest though. I can take it.




I'm gonna be very very honest with you, u may get a response from him, but it won't be easy, for the fact that it will remind him that he wants getting your full attention, we bulls love to nurture a person we like, it makes them feel com
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'm gonna be very very honest with you, u may get a response from him, but it won't be easy, for the fact that it will remind him that he wants getting your full attention, we bulls love to nurture a person we like, it makes them feel comfortable with us , as well a comfortable with you, if we feel like nothing we do is enough for you, we will quit on you, if u notice we Taurus try everything to make things works, and I mean everything, if nothing works, we are done.
The only thing I can say is that if u want another shot with him, ur gonna have to prove it I'm afraid. If he answers the txt or call their are still feelings there but he won't make a move until proof is shown
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Posted by SweetLibra
Thanks Nikki!
That's what I thought after reading a lot of stuff on the Taurus board. I think I will reach out to him again. I'll have to figure out how to go about it so I really get his attention. I figured he was probably pissed at me. We'll see what happens.




No problem honey

Let me know how it goes, it should be fine tho, but give him time, and if u want him prove to him that u do, it would be woth it, if you think he is
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Posted by bkbella86
YOu can only speak for yourself not every bull has the same reasons for running hot and cold.


I know this...This is why I stated this earlier smile

Posted by TaurusBull1977

I can't speak for every Taurus on this forum (There are many similar patterns...but there also slight differences due to the natal charts)
click to expand


I wanted to hear from the other Tauruses...and their reasons for being hot and cold.
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Posted by Mr. Defense
...My problem with a Taurus is how lousy they are when you first get to known them. Taurus make the worst first impressions, but as you get to know one more and more and get closer, it gets better.


We give off 'perceived' worst impressions.
We're very complex people...we can often be misunderstood.
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Posted by Mr. Defense
I still like Taurus. I can be predictable and boring with a Taurus, and that's considered a good characteristic amongst bulls. I find as far as long term stability goes, there isn't anything better than a Taurus. My problem with a Taurus is how lousy they are when you first get to known them. Taurus make the worst first impressions, but as you get to know one more and more and get closer, it gets better.


Agreed!
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Posted by Torro

If we sense that we're about to make a fool out of ourselves, showing affection that's not returned, we will retreat.



....And this.....
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I only get cold when I have done my best to try everything to make things work, and if I have done all I can to try, I have no regrets because I did my best already, after that I'm done, no looking back
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Posted by SweetLibra
Posted by TaurusNikki
I only get cold when I have done my best to try everything to make things work, and if I have done all I can to try, I have no regrets because I did my best already, after that I'm done, no looking back


I can totally relate to this. I am like this too. And I'm quick to not waste time on someone who isn't returning my sentiments.
So realistically I get why the guy left. Now that the shoe is on the other foot it doesn't feel good. Plus I feel like some opportunity was missed due to outside circumstances beyond my control. It sucks but that's life sometimes. I'm sure I've done the same thing to some guy in the past.
click to expand




I get it, gotta learn from the past cause it makes us who we are I'm afraid, but it can make u stronger
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I enjoyed hearing the responses from other Tauruses and individuals who were linked romantically to other Bulls as well.
Thank You... smile
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I will try to make this short. I have been seeing a Taurus man for 3 years. We used to live in the same place, but he moved away for a different job (same company). Before he moved away he said to me, you will come see me (we both work in the travel industry). I said of course. I re-assured him. He has been there for almost 2 years and I have yet to get an invite. We work for the same company and work closely together even though we are not in the same city. He travels between cities and I make his hotel reservations, do his expense reports. Basically I treat him like a king and make his world easier. Everytime he comes back into town we go out for dinner and spend time alone. Yes we are intimate, not everytime we see each other but we are always touchy feely. November was the last time I have seen him, we met at a Company outing. We were so busy that after it, he sent me texts telling me how he was greatful how patient I have been. I really have been patient with him. When he gets on the backside of things at work we will spend some time together. He has been looking for another job within the company, especially back in the city I am. I do hear from him from time to time and when I do text him he does respond quickly. When we spend time together it is as if no time has passed between us, very comfortable. He even tells me that. I have tried to find out/ fishing around to find out where I stand with him, witout having to point blank ask him. We are sorta too old for that. He is coming into town for a meeting and we are going to spend the night. So I am wondering how to go about this.. ?
I love this man with all my heart and know he is my soulmate. I need some real taurus input on this...
So my questions are..
1. After all this time I still don't know where I stand. ( Am I his Girlfriend??)
2. How can I ask him if I am his girlfriend? (without him going on the defense)
3. Why the hot and cold?
HELP..
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This sounds like a long distance relationship.......
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A long distance relationship...YES
But hot and cold behavior...NO
Asking him if you're his girlfriend?
After three years?
Sounds to me like you already are.
I'm curious...What zodiac sign are you?

No pun intended...
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Maybe I should have clarififed that long ago but we are in our 40s and I wasn't sure how to ask.
Everything with him seems to be unspoken.
I like hearing confirmation. It makes me feel better. No mis-understandings.
1. So should I even ask him at all or leave well enough alone?
2. If I would ask I would do it in person. He will be coming to town in a week.
I was going to put on a piece of notebook paperwork.
Will you be my boyfriend
Check a Box
Yes Hell Yes
Thought it would be cute and cheeky. What do you think?
My zodiac sign is Pisces.
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FYI....I haven't seen my taurus in about 3 1/2 months.
and before that it was about the same time frame. I did try to get to him around Christmas but he said he had too much going on with work, and I didn't push it.
One last thing...
One of our co-workers took a pic of me at a Banquet with another guy.
He was just standing next to me in the pic and he put a smartbutt comment.
So my taurus responded by saying...
"oh here we go again... Tell Jeff (guy in pic) I hope he knows what that comes with.
Please tell me what that means?
I don't want assume the worst.
Thanks to all you wonderful Taurus's...
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Sweetlibra I think that if you really want to get your bull back then you should just be honest and say hi that you had been thinking about him and you are sorry everything feel apart. Let him know that you had some family things going on and became distracted because of what you were dealing with. That he has still been on your mind these last few months and you would love to see him and catch up. I think that when it comes to us we just want honesty and sincerity. I really think that in this case you have nothing to lose. Either he will hear this and want to see you or he will not and either way there is your answer. But I will let yoiu know that for me if that person had still been on mind too and they reached out like that then I would see them. smile
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I might have done it this time. I sorta got caught spying on my taurus. It really was innocent.
I saw a comment she made on his twitter, and looked a girl up on Linked in. Just happened to be online.
I guess there is a way you can track to see who views you. She saw me and somehow connected me to him.
He got an email from her asking who I was.
He sent me an email telling what happened and wanted to know what was going on..?
I was honest with my taurus. I know they hate lies.
I told him I saw the comment and looked her up, was just curious. Didn't mean any harm by it.
His response was Gotcha. It's all good. Just wondering. She thought it was odd.
Questions...
1. Is my taurus mad?
2. Is something going on with this girl and my taurus?
3. I have been living in limbo wanting to where I stand in the relationship?
How can I go about that?
Thanks for your help???
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Thanks for the response TaureanAries. I think he was ok with my answer, but lesson learned on snooping around on my taurus. After this little incident, I am leaving my taurus be. Waiting for him to contact me.
TaurusBull 1977 what do you think about my recent situational updates???

Thanks to all for your input.
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@Woodenmeow....
You're making the mistake that many of the zodiac signs make with Bulls.
You're attempting 'indirect' approaches but expecting 'direct' responses.
I'm a firm believer of An indirect statement deserves an indirect response or a NO answer.
Just simply ASK him where the two of you stand.
There will lie your answer.
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Posted by SweetLibra
\
I know more about Taurus' now and understand why he disappeared. I'm sure he was more than confused by me. My question is, after all that hot, cold, back, forth, will he even be open to hearing from me? He has a birthday coming up in April. If I just send him a happy birthday message could that reopen the door to communicating again or would a Taurus who has written someone off not be phased by it? Should my gesture be more grand? I know this is one big clusterfuck. Go easy on me. Be honest though. I can take it.


Sweetlibra....
I think you should reach out to him.
Send him a birthday card...
Copy and Paste everything you stated on this board.
He may still feel the same.
I don't think he feels slighted by you...just probably a little unsure of where he stood with you.
SweetLibra...
You have the gift of communication.
(Something I'm still working on Sad )
Reach out to him on his birthday.
The two of you will be fine.
Things did not end on a sour note between the both of you.
Just 'unsettled' between the both of you in my opinion.
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Posted by SweetLibra

Okay, given this information, how could someone contact you and at the same time make you understand that their intentions are indeed sincere and not just coming out of boredom?


From my experience....
Genuine concern: Taking it slow. Expressing a genuine interest in what's going on in my life, what my passions, interests, and goals are.
*Bulls, mostly, are the caretakers of the zodiac. We take care of everyone in our inner circle. We take everything in. But you will be amazed, not too many people take the time or consideration to ask us what's really going on with us.*
Passing Time/Boredom: Shallow conversations.Me.Me.Me. What's up with you and me? Why haven't you called me? What are you doing tonight?

Posted by SweetLibra
Any Taurus' have a scenario where they had written someone off and that person did something that made you change your mind about them?
click to expand


I have...
When they showed me honesty and vulnerability, and explained their flip-flop behaviors...yes I will definitely give them a second chance...especially if they showed a genuine interest as to what was going on in my life.
This will be the only time I will regress.
Sending him a B-day card, copying and posting what you stated on this board would be perfect.
It shows honesty and vulnerability....and offers a detailed explanation.

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@TaurusBull 1977 first off thanks for responding.
He is coming into town next week for a work meeting. He hasn't asked me to do anything as of yet. And I haven't pushed it.
I just got a work email from him, and sometimes he can be flirty but he has been very sterile. It does kind of hurt my feelings. Should I not take it that way?
He told me last week he is running around with his hair on fire at work. So I know he is busy.

If I do see him, and do a more direct approach how is the best way to say it? I was going to do that cute note asking him will you be my boyfriend? What do you think?
Its direct without being abrashive.
If I can do it in person, isn't that best?

Also, Did you see I got into a little trouble yesterday with the snooping?
I don't understand anytime he wants to address something with me, it's ALWAYS in an email. Which I don't like by the way.
Even when he lived in the same city. What is up with that?

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@Woodenmeow....
He doesn't seem to be upset at all.
Must you water signs read into everything? smile
No cute notes with the yes/no check boxes.
I'm sure you're over the age of 18. No pun intended.
Just come right out and ask him......
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@ TaurusBull 1977

You are right about us water signs.. Sometimes I wish I wasn't.
I did text him today about work stuff. He keeps telling me how busy he is. He said he is ready to slow down. So I got that much. I told him.. BTW. I miss your cute ass. His response was "that made me smile". He uses that alot. I guess that is a good thing?
Seems like he always gives "safe" answers.
So you really think I should be more direct to my taurus?
I kept thinking that would put him in defense mode, and didn't want to ruin the evening we have togther.
How would you say it?
And if he tapdances of well we live in two seperate places blah blah.
I was going to say.. we can figure that out. I just want to know its just you and me?
You are it for me.
Let me know..
I am really nervous to do this. Like butterflies in the stomach nervous.
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@taurusbull 1977... Yes I am over the age of 18. He is 41 and I am about to turn 39 on Tuesday.
I know it should seem easy but I feel like I am in High School all over again.
Just scared my taurus will reject me.
Taurus's are not the only ones afraid of rejection.
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@Woodenmeow----
Tell him this:
"I want to be in an exclusive relationship with you."
Yes, it's really that simple!

But something tells me that his response would be....
"I already thought we were." smile
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@taurusbull 1977... thanks.
I hope he does say it.
He wont think I have been dating around.?
I have been nothing but loyal to only him.
I think once he and I get this speed bump out of the way
Things will be even better.
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@TaurusBull1977...
Here is an update... His answer to the burning question of will you be my boyfriend. His response..
Yes, if I had time.
After him being very cold when I saw him. No kisses, and any affection. After his meeeting he headed to the airport and when he got to Houston, I still felt unsettled. So I texted him and said we are all good? He said I am confused. I said about our relationship/dating. He told me that he doesn't have the time to devote to a relationship and he is either all in or not. He continued to say that he saw me a trusted and vauled friend and he doesn't have many of those.
We went back and forth for a while. I thought this is something we should talk instead of text on the phone. I called him and he wouldn't answer the phone, then texted me and said it was noisey where he was. We continued to text. I told him that I would wait for him if all he needed was time. He said that was nice, but he didn't want me to lose out on another opportunity because he was a what if. Needless to say I am devostated.
Later that night, he texted one of our mutual friends and said "I broke her heart, please take care of her"
Two days later, he texted me and asked how I was doing.
Yesterday... He was on a conference call with my boss and asked him.. "How is my girl"
Today he texted me to say hello and see how I am.
So I am even more confused than before...?
Help... What do I do?
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(Taurus Bull 1977) Thanks for the hot and cold insight. But why hot and cold even if the person has been straight up honest? Do you get cold when you feel pressured? Annoyed? or just feeling like having Space or alone time?
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I need a little help with this.
My Taurus friend and I just reconnected last month after a year of silence. He said he was buying me a Valentines gift, he didnt...no problem, although I did think it was odd for him to mention the gift twice, including valentines day, and not bring it but whatever. Since then, he texts me and we talk once a week. He's been stressed/depressed etc, and we talked a bit about it last week. This week he sends his normal text saying "hi" instead of his usual "hey boo" I reply saying "hey!!" and he immediately texts back saying "I love you."
Im just curious what that was about? I know he is the typical horny young male, and a bull at that, but would a young taurus randomly text "I love you" JUST in hopes of speeding up the process of possibly having sex with me? It was a bit random, and considering we've only seen eachother once since last month, and we only talk once a week, I feel theres nothing to love. Its just a tad confusing because ive never known him to be expressive in that way, and he knows im skeptical of everything, and not expressive either, so why take that risk im wondering? I want to ask him about it, but im feeling the timing is off and has past, although he texted this yesterday morning.
Im just curious to what happened there?
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well, to be honest, the taurus experiences, sometimes sound so creepy similar, that just for a sec you wonder could the two be talking about the same guy? hmm..
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@Inana04
That one there would drive me up the wall. The "I love you" over a text??? I would question that, for me I would want to hear it come from his mouth and face to face rather than a text. I think it would be better to see if he actually has some emotional meaning behind it. He could Love you but is he "In Love" with you? Someone here on DXP asked me that same question and it made me think. My Taurus came back too after months of not talking and I am very leary. He's at arms length. Just be careful and just let it ride, because you never know. Take care of you smile
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Posted by SensualCancerChika
@Inana04
That one there would drive me up the wall. The "I love you" over a text??? I would question that, for me I would want to hear it come from his mouth and face to face rather than a text. I think it would be better to see if he actually has some emotional meaning behind it. He could Love you but is he "In Love" with you? Someone here on DXP asked me that same question and it made me think. My Taurus came back too after months of not talking and I am very leary. He's at arms length. Just be careful and just let it ride, because you never know. Take care of you smile


Aww, yours came back?! Good to hear!
My taurus and I have always been friends...we just acted like a couple, but that was nearly two years ago. He ONLY communicates thru text. I told him two weeks ago that he acts like he's scared of the phone or something. I tell women on the Cap board that there's a difference between the Cap male saying "I love you" and saying "Im in love with you."
Either way, Im thinking this Taurus meant it on a friendly level, if at all. I asked him was he sure he texted the right girl lol, and he said he was sure. He text "trust in me"....im like this is definitely bs lol. Why he bsing me though is what i want to know? I keep thinking we are better than that, but I guess not.
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Lol I wouldn't know either.. I'm in the same type of situation with a leo man that I have been close friends with for like 9+ years. We are very funny when we get together . I don't know why he says it just does and sometimes I'm like.. Did he just say what I think he said...lol. Honestly I think he just lives in the moment and poof! Moments over and reality kicks in. I just know what is genuine and what is not and just roll with it. Only way for me to keep from going crazy..lol
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This thread is gold. Ty for it. My best friend could really use this info to help understand herself snd why she does things.
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Posted by TaurusBull1977
I read a lot of the threads from posters who are quite confused about our ambiguous behavioral patterns.
I can't speak for every Taurus on this forum (There are many similar patterns...but there also slight differences due to the natal charts)
I'm hot when I meet an individual who makes me feel safe, gives me butterflies in my stomach, and is completely honest. I may not be the most verbal individual in the world, but I will reciprocate my gratitude for finding someone special through subtle gestures, plenty of affection, making them feel loved, nurtured and safe as well, loyalty, being their rock, active listening, and giving them advice.
I'm cold when everything presented before me was a lie. Any slight inconsistency in your words, movements or actions will cause me to "zig-zag"...no more predictable linear movements from me. This means no affection, no loving, no communication, no visits.
I'm a fixed sign...changeable personalities, smoking mirrors, false pretenses, lies, manipulation, not being someone of your words will leave me sick to my stomach.
Any respect I had for you will now turn into DISGUST!
I'm not highly verbal when my feelings for an individual has changed (Sun:Taurus, Mercury:Taurus)
This may shift from hot to cold and vice versa, if I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt...
Because I can't negate what I feel for this person.
But when the BS detector meter is at an all time high
I'm DONE!
I mentally prepare myself to move on.
I verbalize NOTHING (I know, not a good trait, I'm working on thisSad )
I don't look back.
I hate regressing.
Too many bad memories.


I'm now his "best friend" REALLY?! I don't touch my best friend the way I touch him and I don't allow my BFF to touch me the way he touched me! Taurus men... I'm tired of the confusion. I'm a fixed sign too and straight forward. One thing about me as a Leo woman, you'll know where you stand "all the time" I don't go from "sweetheart" to "BFF" in one breathe nor I would allow anybody touch me the way we touched each other! Not even if I was given a billion dollars! Scardey-cats! Nothing more. Grow some balls!
Sorry, sick and tired of the dumb game and flip-flopping.
Thanks for reading my rant.
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Don't feel bad Jessieleo. My taurus has been doing similar to me. We went from a relationship to friendship, which he pushed for by the way.
Now its just confusing comment after another.
The only thing that is different for me, is I have already dis-connected my feelings.
When he says all the cute things I used to crazy for, no effect.
Mine has flip-flopped on me for 3 yrs.
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Posted by woodenmeow
Don't feel bad Jessieleo. My taurus has been doing similar to me. We went from a relationship to friendship, which he pushed for by the way.
Now its just confusing comment after another.
The only thing that is different for me, is I have already dis-connected my feelings.
When he says all the cute things I used to crazy for, no effect.
Mine has flip-flopped on me for 3 yrs.



Oh woodenmeow... how did you do it?
The only Taurus guy I was with didn't flip flop... he went straight to me and stayed there. lol
I was with an indecisive Libra once and when I got tired of his indecisiveness, I dumped his a $ s like a hot coal. That's the one still pining for me after 10+ years. It's his fault. I don't take anybody back after they screw up the first time.
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Help I rushed my Taurus so after 3 months together he disappeared for a few wks contacted me n then came bk to c me said it was to soon for a relationship I agreed so we stayed casual he kept disapearin cos I kept rushin him then after 6 month he said he wanted casual just us to he didnt want to date anyone else n that was gud either me then saw him dec and things seemed gud he contacted me over xmas n wished me happy new yr n c u soon and I havent seen him now in 3 months I think that sumfin as happened in the family as his mum has put posts on about miss u mum etc when I msg him to tel him I wud prove I'd stop rushin him he said leave me alone il let u know when I want to c u I asked him if he didnt want to c me know more or had I done sumfin wrong n he didnt reply hes not on line as much which isnt him he knows am in this for long haul n am not goin anywhere hes told me I'm amazin n perfect y wud he stick around 10 month n change us to just me n him if im not the one im confused miss him so much I know ur not suppose to ignore a Taurus I've not msg for 2 wks cos he asked me leave him alone so didnt want to make him angry by not respecting him but want him to know am here when hes ready what do I do
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