15 Things You Don—t Owe Anyone At All

Many choices we make in life—ranging from what we do, to how we conduct ourselves, and who we interact with—are subject to prying questions and commentary from those around us. Family members, friends, and even total strangers, it often seems like everyone has an opinion on the things we do, no matter how small or insignificant those things might seem to us.
Sometimes people go so far as to ask you to explain yourself for the decisions or choices you make in your own life. You might feel obliged to respond, but some things are really no one else's business and you don't owe anyone an explanation at all for the following 15 things—though you think you do.

1. You don't owe anyone an explanation for your living situation.
Whether you are cohabiting with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, crashing in different motel rooms across the country, or living with your parents for a while when you are past your twenties, you don't have to explain yourself to anyone for who you live with and why if you don't want to. If you are fully aware of your living situation, then it means you have your own reasons for being in that situation that are nobody else's business.

2. You don't owe anyone an explanation for your life priorities.
You have your own ideas about the things that would make you and your loved ones truly comfortable and happy, which is your main priority. Since we are all unique individuals with different values, dreams and aspirations, your core priorities will be different from the next person??s. You don't owe anyone an explanation for what you determine is your core priority in life. That is your personal business not other people's business.

3. You don't owe anyone an apology if you are not sorry.
If you don't regret your actions, still think someone is wrong about something or don't care much for their forgiveness, you don't have to apologize. Many people are too quick to offer apologies and try to mend wounds that are not yet ready to be mended, which only serves to aggravate the wound and bring more problems. You really don't have to apologize if you are not sorry or your side of the story hasn't been heard.

4. You don't owe anyone an explanation for requiring alone time.
You might worry that you will come across as —rude,?? —anti-social?? or —aloof?? when you cancel plans or other obligations because you need some time alone to reboot, unwind or just enjoy a good book by yourself. However, spending time alone is a completely normal, natural and necessary practice that more people should adopt. Take your alone time confidently because you don't owe anybody an explanation for it.

5. You don't owe anyone your agreement on their personal beliefs.
Just because someone shares their personal beliefs passionately doesn't mean you have to sit there and nod in approval to everything they say. If you don't share in their beliefs, it is unfair to yourself and to the other person to suppress your own thoughts and feelings and pretend you agree with them. It's okay and better to disagree with them gracefully instead of bottling up your disapproval and frustrations.

6. You don't owe anyone a yes to everything they say.
You have a right to say no whenever there is no compelling reason to say yes. In fact, the most successful people in the world are those who have mastered the art of saying no to everything that is not a priority. Acknowledge other people's kindness and be grateful for it, but don't be afraid to politely decline anything that takes your focus away from your core goals and priorities. That's how to get ahead.

7. You don't owe anyone an explanation for your physical appearance.
You might be slender, plump, tall, short, pretty, plain or whatever, but you don't have to explain yourself to anyone for why you look how you do. Your physical appearance is your own business and you are obligated only to yourself. Physical appearance shouldn't determine your self-worth.

8. You don't owe anyone an explanation for your food preferences.
There are certain foods that you just don't like at all for different reasons, including taste preference and health issues. You don't have to explain to anyone at all why you prefer certain foods. Your food preference is a matter that is best left to you. If anyone pesters you about why you are eating (or not eating) certain foods, shrug it off and just say you feel better eating (or not eating) those foods.

9. You don't owe anyone an explanation for your sex life.
As long as it happens with another consenting adult, you don't owe anyone an explanation for where, when and how you conduct your sex life. You can wait for marriage, try one-night stands or experiment with same sex encounters to your heart's pleasure and still not have to explain your sexual preferences to anybody.

10. You don't owe anyone an explanation for your career or personal life choices.
Sometimes circumstances force us to choose between work and —having a life.?? The decision is not always easy and you might end up choosing work, not because you don't care about your family or social life, but because you are working on something that will give you security in the future. Either way, you don't owe others an explanation for choosing a career over your personal life (or vice versa) as long as you are confident about what you are doing and why you are doing it.

11. You don't owe anyone an explanation for your religious or political views.
Whether you are a Democrat, Republican, Catholic, Protestant or Muslim, that is your own personal choice. You don't owe anyone an explanation for why you are what you are and believe what you believe. If someone can't accept you for who you are, that is their personal dogma—not yours.

12. You don't owe anyone an explanation for being single.
Whether you are single by design or by default that is nobody??s business. Being single is not a personality disorder. You are free to be in a relationship or not. Besides, you are far more than your relationship status and singlehood is just one of those social labels no one should really care about.

13. You don't owe anyone a date just because they asked.
Someone might be nice, good looking and you may even be a little interested, but you don't owe them a date just because they ask. If you feel deep down you don't want to go on that date, then don't. You may offer a reason for declining, but keep it brief and stick to your decision.

14. You don't owe anyone an explanation for your decision about marriage.
Whether or not you choose to get married and have kids or stay unmarried and be childfree, that is your own personal decision. Even your mom who is dying for grandchildren should understand that marriage is a personal decision and not suited for everyone. She should respect your decision about it no matter how hard it is to swallow.

15. You don't owe anyone an explanation for your relationship choices.
Sometimes people make inappropriate commentary about your romantic relationship(s), which is really none of their business. You might overhear comments like you are not the —perfect couple?? or you should find someone else. However, you are not answerable to anyone but yourself for your relationship choices. Live your life and never, ever leave or stay in a relationship just because someone else says you have to. Make your own mistakes if you must, but learn from them always.

http://www.idealistrevolution.org/15-things-you-dont-owe-anyone-at-all-though-you-think-you-do/<BR>

nice timing Robyn... I was just off on a body confidence tangent/ crisis! so 7 is a something to think about (leeb venus flutters)

Yeah, I'm giving out hugs today. But just today!

😄

joins the hug queue...

I doesn't matter what you don't owe people. No one asks, they're gonna judge you either way. Yeap, even the ones closest to you. Sometimes out of disapprovement; other times because they are concerned. It's no crime and we've all been on the opposite end of that stick.

lol, The one relationship I have this problem with the most is my mother, now you could say that most mothers are this way to some extent but mine happens to be a Gem Sun, Merc, Virgo rising. So her connection to people a lot of times is really based on the trade of information. From my perspective its so shallow and insignificant.

I feel most comfortable sharing things about my life with people who aren't eager to have it. Where its a natural conversation. And it doesn't matter if I'm expressing something good or bad about myself, I can still have a positive conversation about it. I can except my flaws and faults admit mistakes, or that I didn't handle something best I could. And I want to express that experience with acceptance (my own included), not judgement.

Lovely reminder!


Thanks for posting. :-)

Love it.

Posted by Gobshite
A shitty article for confused single women...

Summed up: you don't owe anyone an explanation for who or what you are.

There. Fixed!

No, its for women in general. If you don't have a vagina, you probably have had a harder time experiencing the world like you do.

Girls are still raised differently then boys in the majority of our cultures, most are taught to act differently, compete different. To be pretty nice and gracious, yet some times those things can all manifest it selves in negative ways, envy, judgement, passive aggression. And men often don't live with the same types of pressures that women do, which is why its in this forum.

Is it obvious? yes... But these are things that every woman struggles with, during different periods of life. And everyday we are bombarded with these messages and images, that this is the way to be, this is the way to live, and this is what need to have to be valued in our society. And I will agree that men face this shit too, but not to the same way or extent imo (and this is the powder room, I'm coming out you from female perspective.)

So even if you already know you don't owe anyone an explanation for who or what you are. Its kind of nice to stop, remind yourself that, and reflect on it. Because the outside world is saying the opposite damn near every day you walk out into it.

Thanks for sharing. It's nice to hear positive messages like this.

Last time Rihanna used one or two of these rules, she got played. And bunch of people had to suffer from it. Cause they care for her. (at the end of the day: let the child make his/her experiments but...)

Consideration is not an obligation.

But it is nice to have it.

Posted by Gobshite

Of course, there'll always be a level of judgement from others (regardless of gender) but there's also freewill and inner strength. The truth is that many of these women are just afraid of eschewing social conditioning in order to 'belong'. But what's ironic is that they'll often end up feeling more lonely.

Maybe if most women stopped being more judgemental about how they expect men to be, I would be able to empathise with your points a lot more.

There's no room for hypocrites here.

😐 duh.

I don't really understand what you??re doing, because you??re kinda taking my points agreeing with them, but then trying to twist them like they are your own to throw them back at me. So it feels like we are on the same page, except you are just being super negative about it.

You are the one that started stereotyping women to begin with. First its single women, now its American women. I can't sit here and pretend that what the women in gender progressive parts of Europe are like. I do not have those experiences. But again because you have a penis, I not going to take your word on it??_ I know that here, men do not grasp the subtle ways of the women compete against each other, and put each other down. So maybe you are right, but maybe you don't just don't know.

And I would not sit here, and pretend I knew or understood the kinds of pressures or expectations men go though. I don't have a penis, so I'm not all up in the man cave pretending like I really know what's up.

And you are also putting words in my mouth, because I'm not sitting here saying our pain is greater than yours or that these things are so unbearable. I'm not that dramatic! I'm just addressing one small part of the human experience, and providing a different perspective.

Oh really? You've found a lot of bitter women on a forum dedicated to people talking about their relationships with strangers?

You're right most of us are American, American women must be more bitter!

I am not saying this is an equal gender issue! Never did, never even eluded to that. I am saying this is and issue that has a tenancy to affect women and this is how it often manifests itself.

Can you understand the difference?

And yes I will say it again for the 3rd time, cus you seem to think I don't understand what it is I'm saying... You can not experience this as a woman if you are not a woman.

and my comment "No, its for women in general. If you don't have a vagina, you probably have had a harder time experiencing the world like you do." is still no where close to saying... juvenile 'as a woman, my pain is greater than yours' and 'you can't understand because you don't have a vagina' arguments"

You are the one who has made it clear that you have distinct judgments about American women.. So with that being said I see no reason why your perception wouldn't be tainted with those ideas, that you are projecting into this argument.

Do you think people come to dxp to talk about how great their relationships are? No! people seek out answers when they have problems.

Yes, I know you've explained where your opinion on American women comes from, and I explained why I'm lmao at it.

BTW, I never said this article was just for women. Nor did I ever talk about inequality. I have commented on it before on different topics, other threads. But you're probably better off not reading my thoughts on that shit, if you want to hold onto the delusions you have.

But if you want equality, you are more than welcome to take this article and post it in the man cave. And discus how these issues manifest and affect the male pov.

What makes me uncomfortable (It doesn't help I have GED and this sort of thing makes me nervous) is when strangers start talking to me while waiting at the bus stop or on the bus, in public with other people around (or not) and asking me things I think are too personal to ask so I give direct yet vague responses.

*after idle chit chat*

"where are you going?"
"Work"
"Oh, what do you do?"
"Retail".
"Do you work full time?"
"No."
"Where do you work?"
"At a vintage clothing store."
"Oh! Which one?"

Really? REEEEALLLYYYY— On a bus full of people. Yeah, you might be harmless but I don't need some other potential weirdo deciding to stalk me (I have had some scary situations). I have this face and demeanor that just unintentionally screams "HI I AM NICE TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME!" and I hate it.


One woman sat next to me on the street while I was having my smoke before work. She was asking about my family, where I live, what I am doing now where I am going, and my work place was across the street and she asked how I liked my job and then she followed me in. to. my. work. to check the place out...

She will sometimes be in the store on the day I work there and she never buys anything. She seems kind of sketchy, too.

Yes I am bothered by this, I know a lot of people think it's no big deal but to me it is and it makes me feel so small when this issue is made light of. It's usually because they never had that problem yet (especially for females) or are men, and men walk the streets without fear. >😢

*throws powder puff at Rabbit*


nO.

Okay. Make your own prosciutto, crumbled blue brie, walnut and thinly sliced pear baguette sammich.