He's Sexy But, I Can't, Didn't Love Him

This topic was created in the The Powder Room forum by VenusAquarius on Friday, November 30, 2018 and has 34 replies.
Ladies.... Have you ever felt that way? I have. Been sexually attracted to a man but, you don't feel romantically inclined.

Very popular for men to feel this way, right?

From what I understand it's uncommon for us females.

Any other "uncommon" females out there? Do you know why you felt that way?

I would love to hear from guys who experienced women who were sexually attracted to them but, would not commit.

If possible list Venus sign, house, aspects.
Yup. It's happened at least twice for me.

Right after I got divorced, I had a FWB that was a Scorpio. The sex was amazing, probably the best I have ever had. But dating him? Nope. Not in the least, didn't want to. The last time I saw him for a weekend, he kept bringing up how someone was gonna catch feelings. To the point, it really got on my nerves, because I thought he was accusing me of wanting more. I dropped him, and about a year later, caught up with him randomly, and found out he wanted more.

The other one, was very much the same. Morning after, he said something along the lines of "Now don't go falling in love." I laughed at him, and told him for me to do that, I would have to want to date him, and I didn't. Pretty face, but vapid af. I don't like stupid.

This was in my teens, but there was one more in there. But I don't count that one.
Posted by ACsquarepluto

Attracted to many things other than looks. If the attractive man negs me, etc that's the main thing which erodes my respect for him. Unless the criticism my way is perceivably true

Gemini/11th Venus; Venus cazimi sun, trine Saturn, quincunx Pluto, sextile ascendant
Just once for you. Mind stating his/their signs.

What turned you on?

Nagging made him a no?
Posted by rejuvenatedheart

Yes.

Venus in Virgo

House III

Semisquare Ascendant

Semisextile Sun

Semisquare Moon

Conjunct Mercury

Biquintile Uranus

Sesquiquadrate Neptune

Square Pluto

Semisquare Chiron

Conjunct Black Moon Lilith
Happens often?
Posted by nikkistar

Yup. It's happened at least twice for me.

Right after I got divorced, I had a FWB that was a Scorpio. The sex was amazing, probably the best I have ever had. But dating him? Nope. Not in the least, didn't want to. The last time I saw him for a weekend, he kept bringing up how someone was gonna catch feelings. To the point, it really got on my nerves, because I thought he was accusing me of wanting more. I dropped him, and about a year later, caught up with him randomly, and found out he wanted more.

The other one, was very much the same. Morning after, he said something along the lines of "Now don't go falling in love." I laughed at him, and told him for me to do that, I would have to want to date him, and I didn't. Pretty face, but vapid af. I don't like stupid.

This was in my teens, but there was one more in there. But I don't count that one.
Damn, your post is almost exactly my experience.
Posted by ACsquarepluto

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by ACsquarepluto

Attracted to many things other than looks. If the attractive man negs me, etc that's the main thing which erodes my respect for him. Unless the criticism my way is perceivably true

Gemini/11th Venus; Venus cazimi sun, trine Saturn, quincunx Pluto, sextile ascendant
Just once for you. Mind stating his/their signs.

What turned you on?

Nagging made him a no?
Negging: picking apart your appearance or feeding your insecurities seemingly for the purpose to diminish your self-value. Its happened a few times but I don't feel my examples fit the OP too well. I've had people I considered unattractive neg me (Leo, Virgo) but when my attractive Pisces ex did it I loved him anyway due to his kind, nurturing, confident and responsible side

examples of negging: "You're weird" (Virgo said it) "You'll never be considered anything but a junkie bitch" (Leo said it) "You have a 7-head" (Pisces said it) yet they continued seeking me out: if you have such a low opinion of me why does it have to be me to cut contact? diminishes my respect

This happens on a more casual level and I instantly respect the person less since I'm not the type to seek this type of communication. Won't name signs though, don't always know them.

The main things I'm attracted to are stoicism and integrity
click to expand
I had sex with a Libra I loathed. He didn't "neg' me. I just found him vulgar. He finally got me with witty vulgarity, begging, acting like a frog prince.

Sometimes I feel like men want sex and think by fucking you, it'll bring you down a few pegs others think it it makes you fall in love. Now, it can't do both. Dick ego thinking dick is magic. Where do they learn that? I had one guy wanna screw cause he was jealous. Thought I was a snooty, rich bitch.

Then, they get shocked when it didn't... didn't call, didn't speak, etc. I didn't care cause you gave me no reason to care. I guess they think I mistake sex for love.

Then, if thy try to play "feminine" games, I get a wee bit sinister to show em how just fucking cold I can really be.

Posted by Ellygant

Yeah a fwb I had a few years ago. Great looking dude. Women would be all over him constantly when out.

But early on, after our 2nd or 3rd date, I made a comment about how we were dating. He bluntly said ‘I don’t date.’ It flipped my switch off and never went back. We fucked around for another month or two. I stopped seeing him when I met someone I really liked.

Later found out he really liked me. He said that to look tough. Fecking cancer placements(he had cancer mars) always say the opposite of what they actually want. He spent the last two years asking me out again and again. He was hot and the sex was great but I never really wanted to, not even for a casual repeat fling.

Tho I almost did go out with him. He asked at a time I was on the rebound and didn’t wanna sit at home and mope. Wanted to have fun. Then he got a stomach virus and had to cancel so I took it as a sign to stay on the road I always felt was best for me with him, away. Lol.
I think he did that to set "the tone" of the relationship that he wanted. He liked you but wanted a power dynamic that you can only get through his manipulative tactic... he wanted to see if you would crawl or were thirsty enough to "not date" leaving the door open for whateva.

So good to see you naturally got cold. Anyone should go cold.
Posted by rejuvenatedheart

Yes.

Venus in Virgo

House III

Semisquare Ascendant

Semisextile Sun

Semisquare Moon

Conjunct Mercury

Biquintile Uranus

Sesquiquadrate Neptune

Square Pluto

Semisquare Chiron

Conjunct Black Moon Lilith
Your placements look very contemplative. Don't seem like you'll fall for much. Ever had your heart broken? Doesn't seem so. Very sharp in matters of the heart... no?
Yes, it happened once. We were FWB. His Aqua Mars was sitting exactly on my Venus, so the sex was the most experimental I ever had. I learned a lot from him....although I never got to use my "experience" afterwards.

He was sexy and a redhead! My one and only redhead Big Grin

He wanted more and started to behave like a boyfriend after several months of casual sex. I didn't like him this way, so I broke up with him. He somehow found me on FB years later, despite me using a shorter variante of my surname. Now we are just FB friends.
Yeah many times

Beautiful beautiful man, opens his mouth and ruins it

I'm a fellow Aqua Venus. Conjuncts Mercury and sextiles Mars exactly.
Yea that happened, mostly because those guys are physically attractive but dumb as a rock. Hate stupid people.
Yeah all of them.... jk
I almost posted a comment yesterday saying " I wanna man that'll bring that crazy out of me.. still not in love"

Idk when was the last time I was really in love..

Damn..I don't want to become a cold crab 😅
I feel that way all the time. I have yet to meet someone who has proved himself worthy of my heart. I’m very picky and know exactly what I want in a life partner.

Venus in Aries

Venus opposition moon in libra

Venus in 11th house

Posted by rejuvenatedheart

Posted by Yodi

I almost posted a comment yesterday saying " I wanna man that'll bring that crazy out of me.. still not in love"

Idk when was the last time I was really in love..

Damn I don't want to become a cold crab 😅
The Scorpio you made a comment about today? 😂
click to expand
That comment was about 3 different exes 😅

Scorp with a aqua moon

Virgo with a libra moon

And a scorpio with a libra moon

But maybe your right..the last time was with the lazy azz scorpio with the libra moon.

I don't let men pass a certain depth with me anymore
Posted by rejuvenatedheart

Posted by Yodi

Posted by rejuvenatedheart

Posted by Yodi

I almost posted a comment yesterday saying " I wanna man that'll bring that crazy out of me.. still not in love"

Idk when was the last time I was really in love..

Damn I don't want to become a cold crab 😅
The Scorpio you made a comment about today? 😂
That comment was about 3 different exes 😅

Scorp with a aqua moon

Virgo with a libra moon

And a scorpio with a libra moon

But maybe your right..the last time was with the lazy azz scorpio with the libra moon.

I don't let men pass a certain depth with me anymore
AHAHA

... Tell me about the Scorp with the Aqua Moon... Can DM me.
click to expand


I'm good love.. but thanks. He's in the past. I'd never go back there again.

But out of all of them he loved me the hardest.
Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by VenusAquarius

Ladies.... Have you ever felt that way? I have. Been sexually attracted to a man but, you don't feel romantically inclined.

Very popular for men to feel this way, right?

From what I understand it's uncommon for us females.

Any other "uncommon" females out there? Do you know why you felt that way?

I would love to hear from guys who experienced women who were sexually attracted to them but, would not commit.

If possible list Venus sign, house, aspects.


I feel that way about the LEO sun Taurus moon

like he looks good

but really no emotional connection
click to expand
OMG with the emotional connection. What? How? With someone you don't know?
Posted by Jaime

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by ACsquarepluto

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by ACsquarepluto

Attracted to many things other than looks. If the attractive man negs me, etc that's the main thing which erodes my respect for him. Unless the criticism my way is perceivably true

Gemini/11th Venus; Venus cazimi sun, trine Saturn, quincunx Pluto, sextile ascendant
Just once for you. Mind stating his/their signs.

What turned you on?

Nagging made him a no?
Negging: picking apart your appearance or feeding your insecurities seemingly for the purpose to diminish your self-value. Its happened a few times but I don't feel my examples fit the OP too well. I've had people I considered unattractive neg me (Leo, Virgo) but when my attractive Pisces ex did it I loved him anyway due to his kind, nurturing, confident and responsible side

examples of negging: "You're weird" (Virgo said it) "You'll never be considered anything but a junkie bitch" (Leo said it) "You have a 7-head" (Pisces said it) yet they continued seeking me out: if you have such a low opinion of me why does it have to be me to cut contact? diminishes my respect

This happens on a more casual level and I instantly respect the person less since I'm not the type to seek this type of communication. Won't name signs though, don't always know them.

The main things I'm attracted to are stoicism and integrity
I had sex with a Libra I loathed. He didn't "neg' me. I just found him vulgar. He finally got me with witty vulgarity, begging, acting like a frog prince.

Sometimes I feel like men want sex and think by fucking you, it'll bring you down a few pegs others think it it makes you fall in love. Now, it can't do both. Dick ego thinking dick is magic. Where do they learn that? I had one guy wanna screw cause he was jealous. Thought I was a snooty, rich bitch.

Then, they get shocked when it didn't... didn't call, didn't speak, etc. I didn't care cause you gave me no reason to care. I guess they think I mistake sex for love.

Then, if thy try to play "feminine" games, I get a wee bit sinister to show em how just fucking cold I can really be.


Lol @ them trying to play feminine games... biggest turn off ever. I’d drop him like a hot potato
click to expand
Some sorta supposed script flippin like "catch me, kiss me." But, I wasn't playing that game so no "script flippin." I'm very difficult to screw the first time.
Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by VenusAquarius

Ladies.... Have you ever felt that way? I have. Been sexually attracted to a man but, you don't feel romantically inclined.

Very popular for men to feel this way, right?

From what I understand it's uncommon for us females.

Any other "uncommon" females out there? Do you know why you felt that way?

I would love to hear from guys who experienced women who were sexually attracted to them but, would not commit.

If possible list Venus sign, house, aspects.


I feel that way about the LEO sun Taurus moon

like he looks good

but really no emotional connection
OMG with the emotional connection. What? How? With someone you don't know?
hes not easy to connect with

you understand


thats why i prefer water

click to expand
No, I don't understand. I'm heavy air. Please explain to me how you expect to connect. Sincere here.
Posted by whatisthisallabout

Yea that happened, mostly because those guys are physically attractive but dumb as a rock. Hate stupid people.
You had expectations of decent intelligence? I talk to 'em for a while. Or, did they fake smart?

Any regret though? Good enough sex not to regret? Or you mad you fucked someone dumb?
Posted by Jaime

Yes it’s happened a couple of times.

He could be the sexiest man alive but if I don’t feel a deep emotional connection I’m not going to be around long. Even if there’s a sexual connection, it fizzles out fast if that’s all there is.

Leo Venus in the 4th house
See, this I halfway understand. You waited a fairly appropriate amount of time, even after sex, and he wasn't.... what?

Loving?

Caring?

Thoughtful?

Attentive?
Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by VenusAquarius

Ladies.... Have you ever felt that way? I have. Been sexually attracted to a man but, you don't feel romantically inclined.

Very popular for men to feel this way, right?

From what I understand it's uncommon for us females.

Any other "uncommon" females out there? Do you know why you felt that way?

I would love to hear from guys who experienced women who were sexually attracted to them but, would not commit.

If possible list Venus sign, house, aspects.


I feel that way about the LEO sun Taurus moon

like he looks good

but really no emotional connection
OMG with the emotional connection. What? How? With someone you don't know?
hes not easy to connect with

you understand


thats why i prefer water

No, I don't understand. I'm heavy air. Please explain to me how you expect to connect. Sincere here.
It's simple as you feel comfortable talking to one another. There's no tension or second guessing.

For instance i was talking to this gentleman today, he told me what was up in his life, we chatted, i learned he races in sailboats, he invited me out to race with him

now he is getting married so it's not like that

but the conversation was easy, it didn't feel like i was pulling anything out of him

click to expand
I don't think of that as an emotional connection. I just call it easy to talk to. There's a guy at work we hit it off right away with conversation. But, I wouldn't dear categorize it as an emotional connection... gross.
Posted by LadyNeptune

Yeah many times

Beautiful beautiful man, opens his mouth and ruins it

Well, it seems you were able to bypass the dick.
Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by VenusAquarius

Ladies.... Have you ever felt that way? I have. Been sexually attracted to a man but, you don't feel romantically inclined.

Very popular for men to feel this way, right?

From what I understand it's uncommon for us females.

Any other "uncommon" females out there? Do you know why you felt that way?

I would love to hear from guys who experienced women who were sexually attracted to them but, would not commit.

If possible list Venus sign, house, aspects.


I feel that way about the LEO sun Taurus moon

like he looks good

but really no emotional connection
OMG with the emotional connection. What? How? With someone you don't know?
hes not easy to connect with

you understand


thats why i prefer water

No, I don't understand. I'm heavy air. Please explain to me how you expect to connect. Sincere here.
It's simple as you feel comfortable talking to one another. There's no tension or second guessing.

For instance i was talking to this gentleman today, he told me what was up in his life, we chatted, i learned he races in sailboats, he invited me out to race with him

now he is getting married so it's not like that

but the conversation was easy, it didn't feel like i was pulling anything out of him

I don't think of that as an emotional connection. I just call it easy to talk to. There's a guy at work we hit it off right away with conversation. But, I wouldn't dear categorize it as an emotional connection... gross.
true, but that easy connection leads to an emotional connection don't you think?

click to expand
Mmm-mmm. I have people, strangers, tell me their deepest secrets in one day, even a week... spiritual, clean, connection. They get emotional but, I don't think romantic nor, do I want to fuck them because of it. If I did, I would be an opportunist... fucking people when they're emotionally vulnerable.
Posted by mudra

It recently happened because there is something there I just don't trust. The feeling is very strong about it. If your body and mind is repelling... listen.
Yes ma'am been there. I ask for revelation. Sometimes I'm forced to draw them to see it. Sometimes, I get literal revelation. I was following my gut but, that one wouldn't leave me alone.
Posted by VenusAquarius

Ladies.... Have you ever felt that way? I have. Been sexually attracted to a man but, you don't feel romantically inclined.

Very popular for men to feel this way, right?

From what I understand it's uncommon for us females.

Any other "uncommon" females out there? Do you know why you felt that way?

I would love to hear from guys who experienced women who were sexually attracted to them but, would not commit.

If possible list Venus sign, house, aspects.



No! I can’t even comprehend what are you talking about.

You want to fuck him but you don’t want to talk to him?

It must be ‘new age’ screw up!

Fuck! I am glad I am older...for no apparent reason except I would be...no...there is no word for that in dictionary...👀
Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by VenusAquarius

Ladies.... Have you ever felt that way? I have. Been sexually attracted to a man but, you don't feel romantically inclined.

Very popular for men to feel this way, right?

From what I understand it's uncommon for us females.

Any other "uncommon" females out there? Do you know why you felt that way?

I would love to hear from guys who experienced women who were sexually attracted to them but, would not commit.

If possible list Venus sign, house, aspects.


I feel that way about the LEO sun Taurus moon

like he looks good

but really no emotional connection
OMG with the emotional connection. What? How? With someone you don't know?
hes not easy to connect with

you understand


thats why i prefer water

No, I don't understand. I'm heavy air. Please explain to me how you expect to connect. Sincere here.
It's simple as you feel comfortable talking to one another. There's no tension or second guessing.

For instance i was talking to this gentleman today, he told me what was up in his life, we chatted, i learned he races in sailboats, he invited me out to race with him

now he is getting married so it's not like that

but the conversation was easy, it didn't feel like i was pulling anything out of him

I don't think of that as an emotional connection. I just call it easy to talk to. There's a guy at work we hit it off right away with conversation. But, I wouldn't dear categorize it as an emotional connection... gross.
true, but that easy connection leads to an emotional connection don't you think?

Mmm-mmm. I have people, strangers, tell me their deepest secrets in one day, even a week... spiritual, clean, connection. They get emotional but, I don't think romantic nor, do I want to fuck them because of it. If I did, I would be an opportunist... fucking people when they're emotionally vulnerable.
Well that happens alot to me as well.

all im saying is for me communication is key to even developing an emotional connection

like straight up open a $ $ communication, bare your soul raw communication

and yeah i can be physically into you super hard core, but communication sets me free

click to expand
Got it.

I'm really talking about having had sex but, you're not in love... he only appeals to you for sex. Didn't mean for it to be that way but, it is what it is.
Posted by Gemitati

Posted by VenusAquarius

Ladies.... Have you ever felt that way? I have. Been sexually attracted to a man but, you don't feel romantically inclined.

Very popular for men to feel this way, right?

From what I understand it's uncommon for us females.

Any other "uncommon" females out there? Do you know why you felt that way?

I would love to hear from guys who experienced women who were sexually attracted to them but, would not commit.

If possible list Venus sign, house, aspects.



No! I can’t even comprehend what are you talking about.

You want to fuck him but you don’t want to talk to him?

It must be ‘new age’ screw up!

Fuck! I am glad I am older...for no apparent reason except I would be...no...there is no word for that in dictionary...👀
click to expand
Men feel this way all the time.

Think about it.

Hence, all the DXP sob stories.
Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by VenusAquarius

Ladies.... Have you ever felt that way? I have. Been sexually attracted to a man but, you don't feel romantically inclined.

Very popular for men to feel this way, right?

From what I understand it's uncommon for us females.

Any other "uncommon" females out there? Do you know why you felt that way?

I would love to hear from guys who experienced women who were sexually attracted to them but, would not commit.

If possible list Venus sign, house, aspects.



No! I can’t even comprehend what are you talking about.

You want to fuck him but you don’t want to talk to him?

It must be ‘new age’ screw up!

Fuck! I am glad I am older...for no apparent reason except I would be...no...there is no word for that in dictionary...👀
Men feel this way all the time.

Think about it.

Hence, all the DXP sob stories.
click to expand
I don’t ‘think’...

If I did...it would be disaster!!!

Lmao
Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by VenusAquarius

Ladies.... Have you ever felt that way? I have. Been sexually attracted to a man but, you don't feel romantically inclined.

Very popular for men to feel this way, right?

From what I understand it's uncommon for us females.

Any other "uncommon" females out there? Do you know why you felt that way?

I would love to hear from guys who experienced women who were sexually attracted to them but, would not commit.

If possible list Venus sign, house, aspects.


I feel that way about the LEO sun Taurus moon

like he looks good

but really no emotional connection
OMG with the emotional connection. What? How? With someone you don't know?
hes not easy to connect with

you understand


thats why i prefer water

No, I don't understand. I'm heavy air. Please explain to me how you expect to connect. Sincere here.
It's simple as you feel comfortable talking to one another. There's no tension or second guessing.

For instance i was talking to this gentleman today, he told me what was up in his life, we chatted, i learned he races in sailboats, he invited me out to race with him

now he is getting married so it's not like that

but the conversation was easy, it didn't feel like i was pulling anything out of him

I don't think of that as an emotional connection. I just call it easy to talk to. There's a guy at work we hit it off right away with conversation. But, I wouldn't dear categorize it as an emotional connection... gross.
true, but that easy connection leads to an emotional connection don't you think?

Mmm-mmm. I have people, strangers, tell me their deepest secrets in one day, even a week... spiritual, clean, connection. They get emotional but, I don't think romantic nor, do I want to fuck them because of it. If I did, I would be an opportunist... fucking people when they're emotionally vulnerable.
click to expand
Are they talking to you hoping you’ll put out? Are you sure?
Posted by Black-Mamba

I can't really connect with airy or unemotional types. I'm an emotional person. I desire someone with the same ZEST

I need him to be vulnerable sometimes. i hate cold people

All I can think about is that creep dude. Girl crying and he thinks it's time to put his hands up her legs. You that dude?
Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by Black-Mamba

I can't really connect with airy or unemotional types. I'm an emotional person. I desire someone with the same ZEST

I need him to be vulnerable sometimes. i hate cold people

All I can think about is that creep dude. Girl crying and he thinks it's time to put his hands up her legs. You that dude?
no but i recently had an interaction with a crab where we delved into lots of crazy subject matters

and it felt very close

i want that kind of closeness
click to expand
I expect that with anyone who wants to be in my circle. Have with all my friends and family, especially my dad. That's a must to be in any of my circles.
Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by VenusAquarius

Posted by Black-Mamba

I can't really connect with airy or unemotional types. I'm an emotional person. I desire someone with the same ZEST

I need him to be vulnerable sometimes. i hate cold people

All I can think about is that creep dude. Girl crying and he thinks it's time to put his hands up her legs. You that dude?
no but i recently had an interaction with a crab where we delved into lots of crazy subject matters

and it felt very close

i want that kind of closeness
I expect that with anyone who wants to be in my circle. Have with all my friends and family, especially my dad. That's a must to be in any of my circles.
wow okay

it seems we cant connect on an understand of what i am stating

click to expand
I told you...

I don't understand. I did a thread about it where I went at it from the backdoor:

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/relationships/the-so-called-deep-connection--11149442/?checkpg=1