How to Adjust To a Cross-country Move?

Anybody ever move across country and had a hard time adjusting? What did you do to reduce the adjusting.

I'm ashamed to admit how long I've been in this new state and how long it is taking to adjust. I guess I just am very afraid just afraid of the newness afraid of being in an unfamiliar territory when I decided to move it wasn't something that are processed I just got on the plane and never look back as I was tired of LA but now that I'm here it's quite frightening.

I've been acting out because I'm afraid and I just want some suggestions what did you do to soothe your transition from one part of the country to the next or from one country to the next? ☺??

When I was 25 I moved from one country to another. I wont lie to you it was hard for the good part of at least 2 years. I had to start over and I mean completely over. I arrived with nothing but clothes and money.

I have now been here 14 years, have a home, furniture, car, job, friends. The best advice I can offer is to remain determined and become stronger through the difficult times, and there will be many of them.

You will be ok, as long as you persevere

Good Luck, it's a brave thing you have done.

Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies
When I was 25 I moved from one country to another. I wont lie to you it was hard for the good part of at least 2 years. I had to start over and I mean completely over. I arrived with nothing but clothes and money.

I have now been here 14 years, have a home, furniture, car, job, friends. The best advice I can offer is to remain determined and become stronger through the difficult times, and there will be many of them.

You will be ok, as long as you persevere

Good Luck, it's a brave thing you have done.

Do you still feel like you're adjusting 14 years later I know you've acquired assets but emotionally do you still feel like you're adjusting or have you finally adjusted?

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies
When I was 25 I moved from one country to another. I wont lie to you it was hard for the good part of at least 2 years. I had to start over and I mean completely over. I arrived with nothing but clothes and money.

I have now been here 14 years, have a home, furniture, car, job, friends. The best advice I can offer is to remain determined and become stronger through the difficult times, and there will be many of them.

You will be ok, as long as you persevere

Good Luck, it's a brave thing you have done.

Do you still feel like you're adjusting 14 years later I know you've acquired assets but emotionally do you still feel like you're adjusting or have you finally adjusted?

click to expand

The answer will always be yes and no :-)

I don't know how different it can be from an american state to another state, the basic culture of the country would remain the same I guess. Just as much as moving from one country to another depending on the big difference in culture, religion etc. would I assume also play a big part in how you adjust emotionally.

For me, I am rather independent so not having my family around me or rather close to me is fine. Don't get me wrong because I do miss them but the amount of time I have now spent here means I have friends, partners and even children. Am I right in thinking you may miss the people you had in your life and you are feeling more alone than you are comfortable with?

Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies
When I was 25 I moved from one country to another. I wont lie to you it was hard for the good part of at least 2 years. I had to start over and I mean completely over. I arrived with nothing but clothes and money.

I have now been here 14 years, have a home, furniture, car, job, friends. The best advice I can offer is to remain determined and become stronger through the difficult times, and there will be many of them.

You will be ok, as long as you persevere

Good Luck, it's a brave thing you have done.

Do you still feel like you're adjusting 14 years later I know you've acquired assets but emotionally do you still feel like you're adjusting or have you finally adjusted?

The answer will always be yes and no :-)

I don't know how different it can be from an american state to another state, the basic culture of the country would remain the same I guess. Just as much as moving from one country to another depending on the big difference in culture, religion etc. would I assume also play a big part in how you adjust emotionally.

For me, I am rather independent so not having my family around me or rather close to me is fine. Don't get me wrong because I do miss them but the amount of time I have now spent here means I have friends, partners and even children. Am I right in thinking you may miss the people you had in your life and you are feeling more alone than you are comfortable with?

click to expand

Yes you are right.

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies
When I was 25 I moved from one country to another. I wont lie to you it was hard for the good part of at least 2 years. I had to start over and I mean completely over. I arrived with nothing but clothes and money.

I have now been here 14 years, have a home, furniture, car, job, friends. The best advice I can offer is to remain determined and become stronger through the difficult times, and there will be many of them.

You will be ok, as long as you persevere

Good Luck, it's a brave thing you have done.

Do you still feel like you're adjusting 14 years later I know you've acquired assets but emotionally do you still feel like you're adjusting or have you finally adjusted?

The answer will always be yes and no :-)

I don't know how different it can be from an american state to another state, the basic culture of the country would remain the same I guess. Just as much as moving from one country to another depending on the big difference in culture, religion etc. would I assume also play a big part in how you adjust emotionally.

For me, I am rather independent so not having my family around me or rather close to me is fine. Don't get me wrong because I do miss them but the amount of time I have now spent here means I have friends, partners and even children. Am I right in thinking you may miss the people you had in your life and you are feeling more alone than you are comfortable with?

Yes you are right.

click to expand

Then I understand where you are coming from. You may have worked out that I am nearing 40. Which means my parents are no longer as young as they were when I left my home country. So with that said yes my worry is that I don't get to see them before "anything happens" For me to rush home would mean an 11 hour flight. Depending how far you are from your family the only thing I can suggest is that you try see them as often as you can. You go there or invite them to you :-)

Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies
When I was 25 I moved from one country to another. I wont lie to you it was hard for the good part of at least 2 years. I had to start over and I mean completely over. I arrived with nothing but clothes and money.

I have now been here 14 years, have a home, furniture, car, job, friends. The best advice I can offer is to remain determined and become stronger through the difficult times, and there will be many of them.

You will be ok, as long as you persevere

Good Luck, it's a brave thing you have done.

Do you still feel like you're adjusting 14 years later I know you've acquired assets but emotionally do you still feel like you're adjusting or have you finally adjusted?

The answer will always be yes and no :-)

I don't know how different it can be from an american state to another state, the basic culture of the country would remain the same I guess. Just as much as moving from one country to another depending on the big difference in culture, religion etc. would I assume also play a big part in how you adjust emotionally.

For me, I am rather independent so not having my family around me or rather close to me is fine. Don't get me wrong because I do miss them but the amount of time I have now spent here means I have friends, partners and even children. Am I right in thinking you may miss the people you had in your life and you are feeling more alone than you are comfortable with?

click to expand

Just one person...I just texted him. But we were in a 10-year relationship that didn't go anywhere so I'm afraid of reaching out to him again because I can get easily drawn back into that relationship and end up wasting my time again

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies
When I was 25 I moved from one country to another. I wont lie to you it was hard for the good part of at least 2 years. I had to start over and I mean completely over. I arrived with nothing but clothes and money.

I have now been here 14 years, have a home, furniture, car, job, friends. The best advice I can offer is to remain determined and become stronger through the difficult times, and there will be many of them.

You will be ok, as long as you persevere

Good Luck, it's a brave thing you have done.

Do you still feel like you're adjusting 14 years later I know you've acquired assets but emotionally do you still feel like you're adjusting or have you finally adjusted?

The answer will always be yes and no :-)

I don't know how different it can be from an american state to another state, the basic culture of the country would remain the same I guess. Just as much as moving from one country to another depending on the big difference in culture, religion etc. would I assume also play a big part in how you adjust emotionally.

For me, I am rather independent so not having my family around me or rather close to me is fine. Don't get me wrong because I do miss them but the amount of time I have now spent here means I have friends, partners and even children. Am I right in thinking you may miss the people you had in your life and you are feeling more alone than you are comfortable with?

Just one person...I just texted him. But we were in a 10-year relationship that didn't go anywhere so I'm afraid of reaching out to him again because I can get easily drawn back into that relationship and end up wasting my time again

click to expand

But you have already answered your question then. 10 years is a long time to have "nothing to show for it". Just remind yourself that you don't want to be in this position again in another 10 years time.

I am not sure what sort of interests you have but have a look at local groups/clubs in your area and get out and meet people. You may just meet the person you are meant to be with. Enjoy this time you have to find out who you are again. I often find that being in such a long relationship with someone that technically does not go anywhere you loose who you are. Find out what you want from life, what makes you happy and you will find that happiness will begin to surround you again. Don't be afraid of the unknown. The hardest part is already over with when you got on that plane :-)

Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies
When I was 25 I moved from one country to another. I wont lie to you it was hard for the good part of at least 2 years. I had to start over and I mean completely over. I arrived with nothing but clothes and money.

I have now been here 14 years, have a home, furniture, car, job, friends. The best advice I can offer is to remain determined and become stronger through the difficult times, and there will be many of them.

You will be ok, as long as you persevere

Good Luck, it's a brave thing you have done.

Do you still feel like you're adjusting 14 years later I know you've acquired assets but emotionally do you still feel like you're adjusting or have you finally adjusted?

The answer will always be yes and no :-)

I don't know how different it can be from an american state to another state, the basic culture of the country would remain the same I guess. Just as much as moving from one country to another depending on the big difference in culture, religion etc. would I assume also play a big part in how you adjust emotionally.

For me, I am rather independent so not having my family around me or rather close to me is fine. Don't get me wrong because I do miss them but the amount of time I have now spent here means I have friends, partners and even children. Am I right in thinking you may miss the people you had in your life and you are feeling more alone than you are comfortable with?

Yes you are right.

Then I understand where you are coming from. You may have worked out that I am nearing 40. Which means my parents are no longer as young as they were when I left my home country. So with that said yes my worry is that I don't get to see them before "anything happens" For me to rush home would mean an 11 hour flight. Depending how far you are from your family the only thing I can suggest is that you try see them as often as you can. You go there or invite them to you :-)

click to expand

Okay

Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies
When I was 25 I moved from one country to another. I wont lie to you it was hard for the good part of at least 2 years. I had to start over and I mean completely over. I arrived with nothing but clothes and money.

I have now been here 14 years, have a home, furniture, car, job, friends. The best advice I can offer is to remain determined and become stronger through the difficult times, and there will be many of them.

You will be ok, as long as you persevere

Good Luck, it's a brave thing you have done.

Do you still feel like you're adjusting 14 years later I know you've acquired assets but emotionally do you still feel like you're adjusting or have you finally adjusted?

The answer will always be yes and no :-)

I don't know how different it can be from an american state to another state, the basic culture of the country would remain the same I guess. Just as much as moving from one country to another depending on the big difference in culture, religion etc. would I assume also play a big part in how you adjust emotionally.

For me, I am rather independent so not having my family around me or rather close to me is fine. Don't get me wrong because I do miss them but the amount of time I have now spent here means I have friends, partners and even children. Am I right in thinking you may miss the people you had in your life and you are feeling more alone than you are comfortable with?

Just one person...I just texted him. But we were in a 10-year relationship that didn't go anywhere so I'm afraid of reaching out to him again because I can get easily drawn back into that relationship and end up wasting my time again

But you have already answered your question then. 10 years is a long time to have "nothing to show for it". Just remind yourself that you don't want to be in this position again in another 10 years time.

I am not sure what sort of interests you have but have a look at local groups/clubs in your area and get out and meet people. You may just meet the person you are meant to be with. Enjoy this time you have to find out who you are again. I often find that being in such a long relationship with someone that technically does not go anywhere you loose who you are. Find out what you want from life, what makes you happy and you will find that happiness will begin to surround you again. Don't be afraid of the unknown. The hardest part is already over with when you got on that plane :-)

click to expand

You have really helped me this morning.

Posted by juliettee
sounds like you knew you have to go, but didn't really think through where. why be so hard on yourself? maybe that country is not for you.

I feel a little guilty, I didn't move to another country

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies
When I was 25 I moved from one country to another. I wont lie to you it was hard for the good part of at least 2 years. I had to start over and I mean completely over. I arrived with nothing but clothes and money.

I have now been here 14 years, have a home, furniture, car, job, friends. The best advice I can offer is to remain determined and become stronger through the difficult times, and there will be many of them.

You will be ok, as long as you persevere

Good Luck, it's a brave thing you have done.

Do you still feel like you're adjusting 14 years later I know you've acquired assets but emotionally do you still feel like you're adjusting or have you finally adjusted?

The answer will always be yes and no :-)

I don't know how different it can be from an american state to another state, the basic culture of the country would remain the same I guess. Just as much as moving from one country to another depending on the big difference in culture, religion etc. would I assume also play a big part in how you adjust emotionally.

For me, I am rather independent so not having my family around me or rather close to me is fine. Don't get me wrong because I do miss them but the amount of time I have now spent here means I have friends, partners and even children. Am I right in thinking you may miss the people you had in your life and you are feeling more alone than you are comfortable with?

Just one person...I just texted him. But we were in a 10-year relationship that didn't go anywhere so I'm afraid of reaching out to him again because I can get easily drawn back into that relationship and end up wasting my time again

But you have already answered your question then. 10 years is a long time to have "nothing to show for it". Just remind yourself that you don't want to be in this position again in another 10 years time.

I am not sure what sort of interests you have but have a look at local groups/clubs in your area and get out and meet people. You may just meet the person you are meant to be with. Enjoy this time you have to find out who you are again. I often find that being in such a long relationship with someone that technically does not go anywhere you loose who you are. Find out what you want from life, what makes you happy and you will find that happiness will begin to surround you again. Don't be afraid of the unknown. The hardest part is already over with when you got on that plane :-)

You have really helped me this morning.

click to expand

You are more than welcome. Don't ever doubt yourself!

Posted by Shrewdsharp
Anybody ever move across country and had a hard time adjusting? What did you do to reduce the adjusting.

I'm ashamed to admit how long I've been in this new state and how long it is taking to adjust. I guess I just am very afraid just afraid of the newness afraid of being in an unfamiliar territory when I decided to move it wasn't something that are processed I just got on the plane and never look back as I was tired of LA but now that I'm here it's quite frightening.

I've been acting out because I'm afraid and I just want some suggestions what did you do to soothe your transition from one part of the country to the next or from one country to the next? ☺??

I did.

From Florida to NM, then on to L.A.

I was 29.

GOT a job, a new car and did better than I should

have... even broke a company record and got

transferred to the nice office 'over the hill.'

But I hated it... my heart wasn't there and I was

so, so unhappy and out of sorts.

Could I do it?

Yes... but I didn't want to.

I went back home-- no regrets.

I was better for going, but that wasn't where I

belonged.

Whatever you decide is okay.

You're the one who has to live your life, and

sometimes, it's good to get away from home

to understand why it's where you *want* to be.

Posted by Montgomery

Posted by Shrewdsharp
Anybody ever move across country and had a hard time adjusting? What did you do to reduce the adjusting.

I'm ashamed to admit how long I've been in this new state and how long it is taking to adjust. I guess I just am very afraid just afraid of the newness afraid of being in an unfamiliar territory when I decided to move it wasn't something that are processed I just got on the plane and never look back as I was tired of LA but now that I'm here it's quite frightening.

I've been acting out because I'm afraid and I just want some suggestions what did you do to soothe your transition from one part of the country to the next or from one country to the next? ☺??

I did.

From Florida to NM, then on to L.A.

I was 29.

GOT a job, a new car and did better than I should

have... even broke a company record and got

transferred to the nice office 'over the hill.'

But I hated it... my heart wasn't there and I was

so, so unhappy and out of sorts.

Could I do it?

Yes... but I didn't want to.

I went back home-- no regrets.

I was better for going, but that wasn't where I

belonged.

Whatever you decide is okay.

You're the one who has to live your life, and

sometimes, it's good to get away from home

to understand why it's where you *want* to be.

click to expand

I understand. Yeah I guess I just need to get myself together emotionally talk about it little bit more maybe find somebody professional to discuss things with him yeah I think that's exactly what I need to do Montgomery I think you have something healing like you might have a healing energy like maybe one of your spiritual gifts is healing.