A fellow Virgo view? Or, I'm just a bitch

This topic was created in the Virgo forum by Herself on Monday, June 17, 2013 and has 27 replies.
Regarding Father's Day yesterday... I can't tell you how many posts around the Internet I read about the woes of single mothers having to be fathers as well. I can't help but not feel the pity I think these mothers are looking for. The way I see it is they picked that low life scum as their children's fathers, deal with it. Why the extra praise for their bad choices? I don't get it. When I said it, I was called a heartless bitch. I can't be the only one that thinks like this....
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Wow DJ, your story struck me when I read it. Cannot express my further thoughts on this subject for the moment...
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Posted by djbuck1
.... at the start that was not very evident. It was only after the ex decided she didn't want "the deal" she had made that things went screeching downhill.




The reality is .... her, as well as everyone, was always who they are ... you just were star-struck, or love-blind .... so you overlooked it.
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LOL at everything being so black and white...just stupid.
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Posted by Herself
.... the woes of single mothers having to be fathers as well.
I can't help but not feel the pity I think these mothers are looking for.
The way I see it is they picked that low life scum as their children's fathers, deal with it. Why the extra praise for their bad choices? I don't get it. When I said it, I was called a heartless bitch. I can't be the only one that thinks like this....




I agree with you, so you're not the only one.
That day was for fathers ... all mothers should have been focused on their children's daddy, regardless of their feelings.
I just said in another thread that people generally consider themselves, then others as an afterthought .... and here you found it to be true. Those woman were only considering their own feelings.
If a person breaks up with the father/mother of their children .... that doesn't mean their bad feelings for the ex is how the children are suppose to feel. The children love their parents, and a mature and responsible parent would recognize this for the sake of their childs best interest.
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P-angel, I don't agree.
Not everybody is who they are all the time. For sure not at the surface. Deep down yes, but the way we live our lives we tend to live behind masks. And those that get to see what is deep down are very few people, if they even get to see it.
Except for that people change during the years. Sometimes for the positive, sometimes for the negative. And through that changing process some people grow apart. All things can happen.
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Posted by Herself
Regarding Father's Day yesterday... I can't tell you how many posts around the Internet I read about the woes of single mothers having to be fathers as well. I can't help but not feel the pity I think these mothers are looking for. The way I see it is they picked that low life scum as their children's fathers, deal with it. Why the extra praise for their bad choices? I don't get it. When I said it, I was called a heartless bitch. I can't be the only one that thinks like this....

wow wish I could see your world with rose colored glasses...I am a single mother and I have not looked for pity. You will never see things in a different light as you have not experienced the harsh reality that some people face. Keep living your blissful life being oblivious..
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also if you came from a broken family, then would you consider yourseld as a bad choice..I have never consider my kids as me making bad choices, more like the best choices i have ever made, and the best choice was leaving a man who i can no longer love.
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Posted by P-Angel
Posted by Herself
.... the woes of single mothers having to be fathers as well.
I can't help but not feel the pity I think these mothers are looking for.
The way I see it is they picked that low life scum as their children's fathers, deal with it. Why the extra praise for their bad choices? I don't get it. When I said it, I was called a heartless bitch. I can't be the only one that thinks like this....




I agree with you, so you're not the only one.
That day was for fathers ... all mothers should have been focused on their children's daddy, regardless of their feelings.
I just said in another thread that people generally consider themselves, then others as an afterthought .... and here you found it to be true. Those woman were only considering their own feelings.
If a person breaks up with the father/mother of their children .... that doesn't mean their bad feelings for the ex is how the children are suppose to feel. The children love their parents, and a mature and responsible parent would recognize this for the sake of their childs best interest.
click to expand


I do agree with you on this post though. Espec. re the fact that parents should not project the bad feelings for their exes on their children and making them feel the same.
Nevertheless I think that people indeed consider themselves generally in the first place. Are there many people out there who can say they truly put someone else before their own feelings? Not once, but in a true and honest pattern? I think that's very hard. Just as the only unconditional love is between a parent (I would even say a mother) and a child, in the same way I believe humans are basically shelfish.
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Posted by Neurotoxin
Sorry, but you're a self absorbed fool at best.
You're applying your idealistic views of parenthood and relationships to everyone else.
Until you live it, you have no room to criticize.



+++++1 Exactly
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Posted by FishyPisces
The only thing that I find hypocrite is how on Fathers day single mothers get a shout out, but on Mothers day single fathers don't get a shout out.


+1
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Posted by FishyPisces
The only thing that I find hypocrite is how on Fathers day single mothers get a shout out, but on Mothers day single fathers don't get a shout out.



awe but they do, at least i know i give props for single men doing mommy duty as well, on both days
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Posted by FishyPisces
Posted by jessgoogoo
Posted by FishyPisces
The only thing that I find hypocrite is how on Fathers day single mothers get a shout out, but on Mothers day single fathers don't get a shout out.



awe but they do, at least i know i give props for single men doing mommy duty as well, on both days


If you do then kudos to you.
My observations and experiences growing up are that in general, society doesn't rate single fathers the way they should.
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+ true, but you can`t change the world, you can only do what you can control yourself.
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No, I don't look at the world through rose colored glasses.
Don't assume I'm not a single mother or raised by one.
Fact is, it's become the norm.. This isn't about being a widow or someone changing over the years. Most single parents I know have kid younger than 5.
Also, my "bad choice" comment wasn't referencing the child but the choice of father.
I'm in agreement 1000% that no parent should ever "use" their child in break up or speak ill of the other parent.
I still maintain that Father's Day should be left for fathers.
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Some people can`t help but take on 2 roles, you can`t judge people based on what they want to do, if they truly are acting as both parents, then why not let them have 2 days, it ain`t hurting anyone.
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Who's judging? I'm not. I don't care how anyone lives their life. Just don't expect praise/pity/whatever for a poor choice.
Hard to find a good father? I know many many wonderful men who adore their children. I don't keep company with deadbeats so I don't know many of them.
And.. Never said I was perfect. Smh
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It just doesnt make sense that this bother`s you so much, and yet you are trying to say that your not judging. Clearly you think low of single mother`s because they chose a man who isn`t there for there children..I have a lot of single mother and father friends. It is hard, the last thing people need is someone saying you did it to yourself so shut the fuck up and stop bitching...The world doesn`t need anymore negativity from people who will never be willing to understand, life isn`t perfect shit happens, no need to critize people. Everyone has different circumstances and its not my place to judge them for having a child with someone who isnt there, as long as someone is willing to take care of these children. It`s not pity that a lot of these people are looking for, and if it is, well then let them have their self pity days. Being a single parent is the hardest job anyone can do.
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Doesn't bother me "so much". Just annoying.
And I have no particular opinion on single mothers themselves. Just the ones who expect extra kudos because they broke up with their child's father.
Meh.
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Imagine how annoying it is for them..Sometimes you need to put yourself in other people`s shoes, most people didn`t expect to be single parents but it happens, and sometimes the best decision a women can make is to leave the father of her child/children and raise the child in a healthy home. I believe there are, no just mother, or just father roles in parenting, but if someone is the only person that is their for this child then they are putting on some pretty big shoes to be able to handle this responsibility and they really do deserve the extra kudos. Until you live it then you can understand it.
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and yes I do agree that people shouldnt talk bad about the other parent regardless of circumstances..
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Posted by CluelessCancer

I just want to add this is so typical of a Virgo, to judge others, yet acting as someone perfect. For instance this Virgo i know the other day was saying "I don't know why women chase men who don't want them." I looked at her incredulous, like who the fuck is she talking too? This chick all she does is chase men. She never even allows herself to be approached by a man, why it never goes well for her. It was boggling, how fucked up her brain was, but the more I see her, the less i want to engage her. I hate false prophets.



I agree; some Virgos are such hypocrites. But point that out to them and they become highly defensive. Normall I don't say a word to them--I look at them incredulously myself and just shake my head. No words need to be said; let them analyze why I shook my head--it'll drive them crazy! LOL!
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Posted by CluelessCancer
Men generally are more selfish and less oriented towards responsibility towards their kids. It's rare to find a very good dad, so i say your premise is bs, a woman has to procreate and statistically she'll end up with a moron who is unable to take care of his kids in a well rounded manner and i'm not just talking finances. For instance I think Virgo men are probably terrible fathers. They can't relate to women emotionally, how can they relate to a child? Would it be correct of me to say than don't ever date/marry a Virgo, because 9 times out of 10 they'll be horrible fathers?


How many Virgo fathers do you know???
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Yeah you got it, you are just a cookiemonster...
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Posted by starlover
My kid's dad left ~~ we had been together years. He is a nice man, a good father and respectful of me. He just needed to live alone. Now he does, we all get on very well. In fact we are good friends.
When we married, i hoped it would last. He and i grew apart.
On fathers' day i bought him wine and chocs and sent a card from myself thanking him for being a good dad. Our son baked a choc cake with *dad* on it
Its all very functional, far more than when we lived together


Is it because you learn how to value yourself more and have a healthy outlook in life?
I think people who think like this are the people who are confident about themselves.
I am not trying to kiss your ass but I appreciate your point of view, I really do.
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Posted by P-Angel
Posted by Herself
.... the woes of single mothers having to be fathers as well.
I can't help but not feel the pity I think these mothers are looking for.
The way I see it is they picked that low life scum as their children's fathers, deal with it. Why the extra praise for their bad choices? I don't get it. When I said it, I was called a heartless bitch. I can't be the only one that thinks like this....




I agree with you, so you're not the only one.
That day was for fathers ... all mothers should have been focused on their children's daddy, regardless of their feelings.
I just said in another thread that people generally consider themselves, then others as an afterthought .... and here you found it to be true. Those woman were only considering their own feelings.
If a person breaks up with the father/mother of their children .... that doesn't mean their bad feelings for the ex is how the children are suppose to feel. The children love their parents, and a mature and responsible parent would recognize this for the sake of their childs best interest.
click to expand



I was always stunned by how you view things but this one is by far the most I am touched personaly. This is the first time that I sincerely appreciate your point of view.
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Posted by Herself
Regarding Father's Day yesterday... I can't tell you how many posts around the Internet I read about the woes of single mothers having to be fathers as well. I can't help but not feel the pity I think these mothers are looking for. The way I see it is they picked that low life scum as their children's fathers, deal with it. Why the extra praise for their bad choices? I don't get it. When I said it, I was called a heartless bitch. I can't be the only one that thinks like this....



I didn't greet my dad on father's day but that does not mean I don't appreciate him.
I love him and he knows that.
I think a man can be a DONOR OF THE SPERM or a FATHER
same goes with women as HATCHERY or a MOTHER

Life is one big experience that we all have to go through. We learn, we live and we love.
There are things that we take and things that we left. Some live a sheltered life while some don't.
Others are well educated while some are not.
Bottom line, every persons journey is different from one another. But there is always that life's lesson that we should learn.
Be thankful for what you have, what you are and who you are. If youre life is wonderful be grateful for that but it does not give us the authority
to poke at someone else's misery/misfortune.
A little compassion goes a long way my fellow virgin.

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Personally, these entitlement types of days: Mother's Day, Father's Day, Valentine's Day are a joke!
Mother's Day and Fathers day should be EVERY DAY. Clearly it's not in many cases, with all the messed up kids out there. Doesn't matter if it's one parent either. People have their priorities all screwed up due to selfishness. Priority one goes to the kids 100% of the time. Any parent who feels entitled to a consolation prize for having kids is just messed up.
With all of the spiteful parents I've addressed directly in these forums, Mother's Day and Father's Day is just another weapon in the arsenal for emotional blackmail while the kid sits back and watches.
smh..
Having a day such as Valentines Day is also a joke. Another day to recognize love and show it when it should ALSO be shown every day on some level.
...let's see "oh today is (fill in the blank), this means I have to act like a mother, father or act like I'm in love and show it". What the hell is that?
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