Advice from a Virgo Please..My Heart is shattered
This topic was created in the Virgo forum by southerncharm71 on Wednesday, September 11, 2013 and has 10 replies.
I am a Pisces and Iv been seeing a Virgo for a few months,we clicked right away,we open up to each other and have amazing talks.Our 1st date he didnt try to kiss me,but we hugged alot,which was fine,Iv been hurt alot so i also want to go very slow. Now over past while this virgo man compliments me and few weeks ago virgo man told me he has feelings for me.But he doesnt date alot for fear of bad relationship and rejection.I also developed feelings for virgo man,an so that he wouldnt feel rejected I told him,and we both said we want to go slow..He still hasnt kissed me.This past weekend he took me to meet is father and step mom,and his parents told me Im all he talks about..Now that was 4 days ago,after meeting his parents and before i left to go home I kissed him on his cheeks.now since he said he has feelings for me he doesnt treat me the same,he ignores me and pushs me away.And today i get a message telling me he only wants to be friends and this isnt ment to hurt me.How can it not hurt me,He just a few weeks ago told me exactly this..in such a short time youv have become a very special woman in my life,and always know you are very special to me.Then his parents tell me that im all he talks about,he tells all his friends about me,Im so Hurt and dont understand..PLEASE HELP
Posted by Superseven
@OP...6 consecutive threads though?
Word, that's what I was thinking...jeez!
ok to those of you that are giving me advice I thank you from my heart..and those that are just .. well im sure youv never had your heart broken..but any way im takeing deep breath..so NO i havent let this man know im upset.. now it was HIM that came to me and confessed he has feelings for me..Iv been hurt more than my share so it was I who said id like to just go slow..then after he told me he has feelings for me he started acting different..then it was only 4 days ago that he took me to meet his whole family and his familys exact words to me especially his mom an dad..they said oh its so good to Finally meet you,and You are ALL he talks about..they started telling me about my own family an what i do for work etc..so i know they were speaking truth...this is why im hurt..why all this..its not like i smother him..we live 900 miles apart..he lives in my home town where my whole family lives and i travel there to be with my parents once a month.
Whenever I tell a guy I just want to be friends, it means I have no interest in him romantically whatsoever. He probably just considers you to be a great friend.
900 miles apart? Did you two even have sex?
900 miles apart? Did you two even have sex?
I understand where you are coming from. It's pretty much a forgone conclusion that most men who just want you in the friendship dept. don't tell you he has serious feelings for you, don't go to the degree of introducing you to his entire family, and don't become obsessed with you enough to talk about you all the time to his family.
The first time I met my husband's family and spent quality time with all of them at their home and then for dinner was about 4 months into our relationship. We knew how each other felt and had made the jump from friends to more serious. It wasn't a matter of just what he said but his actions.
I say this not because my husband is a Virgo, he's a Scorpio. But men are men. They all have similar patterns when it comes to dating.
And I've never known any guy friend of mine who fell in love with a woman and didn't take her home to meet his family.
Honestly, your guy sounds scared. He fell hard and went with his feelings....He brought you home to meet his family. This is probably when he realized the next step was commitment. And he backed off. Many men do at this point. Virgo's don't monopolize this push pull thing. It's in the male DNA.
I know it's hard, and you're feeling confused. Trust me, been there, done that. I think most women have. I think most virgo males would tell
you that if this guy is really into you, he will eventually come back to you. If not, then it wasn't meant to be. One thing that seems to be an underlying theme for Virgo's is that they take their time. They analyze. Read all the input by virgo's and you will see this fact confirmed.
Keep yourself busy, go out and meet new people, and take care of yourself first and foremost. Things will work themselves out. They always do.
The first time I met my husband's family and spent quality time with all of them at their home and then for dinner was about 4 months into our relationship. We knew how each other felt and had made the jump from friends to more serious. It wasn't a matter of just what he said but his actions.
I say this not because my husband is a Virgo, he's a Scorpio. But men are men. They all have similar patterns when it comes to dating.
And I've never known any guy friend of mine who fell in love with a woman and didn't take her home to meet his family.
Honestly, your guy sounds scared. He fell hard and went with his feelings....He brought you home to meet his family. This is probably when he realized the next step was commitment. And he backed off. Many men do at this point. Virgo's don't monopolize this push pull thing. It's in the male DNA.
I know it's hard, and you're feeling confused. Trust me, been there, done that. I think most women have. I think most virgo males would tell
you that if this guy is really into you, he will eventually come back to you. If not, then it wasn't meant to be. One thing that seems to be an underlying theme for Virgo's is that they take their time. They analyze. Read all the input by virgo's and you will see this fact confirmed.
Keep yourself busy, go out and meet new people, and take care of yourself first and foremost. Things will work themselves out. They always do.
Posted by southerncharm71
then after he told me he has feelings for me he started acting different..
You stated that he was acting different, as if implying he began to distance himself from you. Am I correct in this assumption?
Posted by southerncharm71
then it was only 4 days ago that he took me to meet his whole family and his familys exact words to me especially his mom an dad..
Then he introduced you to his family recently?
Posted by southerncharm71
we live 900 miles apart..he lives in my home town where my whole family lives and i travel there to be with my parents once a month.click to expand
So you were home visiting your parents, when he asked you to be introduced to his family members?...after acting strangely and stating he just wanted to befriends?
?????????
Posted by southerncharm71
I am a Pisces and Iv been seeing a Virgo for a few months
Once a month for a few months. No kisses. No real actual dates.
But now...here...it's vice versa.
Posted by southerncharm71
This past weekend he took me to meet is father and step mom,and his parents told me Im all he talks about..Now that was 4 days ago,after meeting his parents and before i left to go home I kissed him on his cheeks.now since he said he has feelings for me he doesnt treat me the same,he ignores me and pushs me away.And today i get a message telling me he only wants to be friends and this isnt ment to hurt me.How can it not hurt me,He just a few weeks ago told me exactly this..in such a short time youv have become a very special woman in my life,and always know you are very special to me.Then his parents tell me that im all he talks about,he tells all his friends about me,Im so Hurt and dont understand..PLEASE HELPclick to expand
Everything was perfect in the beginning. Consistent. He showed no signs of disinterest...but told you he wasn't interested in you after he introduced you to his family members?
-Southerncharm-
Can you please clarify the initial period when he began to act different or disassociate himself from you?
Posted by tiziani
hey bro, you can blame Lady Scorpio. She refuses to give me her email address. I have to log in here to keep an audience with her.
Say wha ???? wtf is that ^^^^^^^^^^^^
1. she's not interested, and so you are pressuring her for more
or
2. she is interested, and teasing you
You obviously don't know she's the DeludedScorpio, with a different name now?
So, why are you chasing a woman who said, "no" ?
Ok well here's some advice. I'm with a Virgo so I'll tell you the truth. You have to be strong and have long term hope give him TIME AND SPACE and respect his feelings. I've known my guy for almost 2 months and we haven't had sex but I've been with him even slept in the same bed. I hang out with him all day sometimes. Right now sex may not be most important to him he wants to know that he can trust me first. It could be what your guy is looking for too. He's looking for security.
If you feel hurt now when nothing TERRIBLE has happened what type of emotional security can you offer him? Be gentle and if he's wrong teach him kindly. If you're hurt explain 'I am hurt because..' he watches and remembers all that you do. When my guy is upset instead of getting angry I explain how his fears were unfounded. Which means I'm LISTENING and getting to know him at least half the time.
If you feel hurt now when nothing TERRIBLE has happened what type of emotional security can you offer him? Be gentle and if he's wrong teach him kindly. If you're hurt explain 'I am hurt because..' he watches and remembers all that you do. When my guy is upset instead of getting angry I explain how his fears were unfounded. Which means I'm LISTENING and getting to know him at least half the time.
If you are worth it he'll appreciate. This man will give me back and foot rubs and do anyhing he can. I met his dad and he's given me personal items that belonged to his mother even one of a kind things that were his. I already know I am the #1 girl in his life and he hasn't told me this but actions show. Let him do what he does...eventually he'll feel comfortable enough with you in the picture IF you don't disrupt his routine and if you are fair. I know he doesn't like typical women who do dumb things and get him in trouble. Also it helps if you are smart usually they are brainy.
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