Am I going about this all wrong? Virgos answer!

So, he has been really aloof lately. I know he has been busy but so have I. Today, I deleted his number from my phone in hopes that I will not be tempted to text him first as I ALWAYS do. He loves me, or so he has said many times. But am I going about this the wrong way? Why do I feel so disposable?

if you can't handle being ignored from time to time..I suggest you stop seeing the Virgo. I'm one and I'm with a workaholic Virgo man. I ignore when I need to disappear into my own world/too consumed with work/have problem, and he has done that several times..

I sometimes forgot that he is just like me and got irritated, always have to remind myself that. I don't think he even realized that he was ignoring me, because he insisted that he wasn't ignoring me when I asked lol & with our scorpio placements, the sudden silence/disappearing act is common.

I only go aloof when I need a little space. It's not to upset the other person it's just that I need a little time to balance myself for whatever reason. Ignoring someone altogether is an entirely different subject. Ignoring means get away from me. I don't know your whole story but if I'm aloof but still in contact then I'm just needing a little space. If you cheat while I'm aloof your done. And because of my ability to feel the energy of the one I love then I will know you cheated without a word said & I'll be gone. I hope your Virgo is just needing a little space & will be back in action very soon. Don't go cheating unless you are done with the relationship...in which case you should just end it before you cheat so karma doesn't bite ya back.

It isn't that I cannot handle his being aloof, it is just that since the relationship is still fairly new (4 months) it is not the easiest to understand. There are times I feel showered with love, and times I feel disposable. I never know if it's me, if this is the end, or if the boy just needs a little space. Mind you, I don't smother him at all, but a text every now and again would be nice. He doesn't actually ignore me usually, since when I do text him he either responds right away, or not at all. Generally if it requires a response and isn't just a "have a nice day" text, he will respond immediately. I love him very much and am trying to get someone insight into this. I am NOT a Virgo but an Aries rather just to give you some perspective on all of this. So I know I can be impatient and such, but I am very caring and understanding. More than anything, I want this to work out. It feels so sight...

Also, will I ALWAYS have to be the one to initate things? He tells me all the time he hates texting etc, but we live an hour away so it's our only real option and as I mentioned, the boy is in the closet. But sometimes, i feel like i'm just making excuses for him.

Posted by aressupreme
Also, will I ALWAYS have to be the one to initate things? He tells me all the time he hates texting etc, but we live an hour away so it's our only real option and as I mentioned, the boy is in the closet. But sometimes, i feel like i'm just making excuses for him.

Most likely...

Ugh you Aries...so impatient lol


You need to talk to him about how his actions make you feel...he probably doesnt know.

Posted by LostinmyMind11
Ugh you Aries...so impatient lol


You need to talk to him about how his actions make you feel...he probably doesnt know.

Good point. I am very good as masking things. I'm fairly mature as an Aries. I don't let my bad sides show nearly as much as they used to. So instead of going nuts and making spontaneous decisions, I internalize everything first for while. Knowing that he is a Virgo, and how fragile and Aries Virgo relationship is, I don't really let any of this out. Any suggestions on how to approach this without feeling naggy or bickering?

Posted by aressupreme

Posted by LostinmyMind11
Ugh you Aries...so impatient lol


You need to talk to him about how his actions make you feel...he probably doesnt know.

Good point. I am very good as masking things. I'm fairly mature as an Aries. I don't let my bad sides show nearly as much as they used to. So instead of going nuts and making spontaneous decisions, I internalize everything first for while. Knowing that he is a Virgo, and how fragile and Aries Virgo relationship is, I don't really let any of this out. Any suggestions on how to approach this without feeling naggy or bickering?

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Yeah you say that (even though you didnt act on it...I dont think)...but I seen your comment about going behind his back...which if you want to keep him, dont even joke about doing something like that...or its done with, if he finds out!

Naggy or bickering constitutes that you're doing it over and over again...if its never been discussed in the first place then I would just tell him. Make sure its face to face though...that way you can see body language and facial expressions and things dont get interpreted wrong.

Yeah i removed that comment because I internalized it and realized it was in poor judgement to begin with. But I think that is an excellent idea to just wait until we are face to fact. Our words often get crossed via text.

Posted by aressupreme
Yeah i removed that comment because I internalized it and realized it was in poor judgement to begin with. But I think that is an excellent idea to just wait until we are face to fact. Our words often get crossed via text.

🙂

And also remember ....you said he is still in the closet...I would think that would be very hard on a person, so keep that in mind as well.

And if he decides to never come out...you should keep that in mind too...thats more for yourself, because that would be hard on you...cant have a relationship thats basically one sided.

talk face to face...find out these things and I think you'll get everything squared away 🙂

good luck!

Posted by LostinmyMind11

Posted by aressupreme
Yeah i removed that comment because I internalized it and realized it was in poor judgement to begin with. But I think that is an excellent idea to just wait until we are face to fact. Our words often get crossed via text.

🙂

And also remember ....you said he is still in the closet...I would think that would be very hard on a person, so keep that in mind as well.

And if he decides to never come out...you should keep that in mind too...thats more for yourself, because that would be hard on you...cant have a relationship thats basically one sided.

talk face to face...find out these things and I think you'll get everything squared away 🙂

good luck!

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We spoke briefly about the closet thing. I asked if he actually thinks he could keep this up forever, to which he replied "No, i'm just not ready for it yet". Mind you, I wasn't pressuring him, was just curious. I am presently okay with it, but in the future when i'm looking to buy a home, etc, it will be impossible for him to keep this charade up unless everyone around him is blind. I ask him if anyone has a clue, he says no. I don't quite believe him, there is always someone who knows, regardless of how masculine you think you are. When you are 25 and not dating girls, the jig is up. But i'm fine with this for now. I just want us to be happy.

I just want us to be happy.

I believe you, and you seem like a nice guy. So, I'm gonna be brutally honest with you:

1. He's a Virgo who's ashamed of who he is; so, even if he loves you 100% , every time he sees / talks to you, he's reminded of his shame - and his SECRET. We don't like secrets - or lies. For y'all to work long term, he MUST get outta that closet.

2. Almost all of us Virgos need our Quiet & Alone Time. It's how we deal with all of our internal stresses that we rarely if ever talk about. It's not personal, and it's not meant to be hurtful, it's how we keep sane.

3. A Plus: Aries are generally open & honest & straightforward -- we really like that. We also like the Passion y'all have -- it inspires us to be more passionate. Provided that the passion doesn't translate into fighting all the damn time.

Good Luck. I honestly hope this relationship works for y'all.

Posted by ShakenNotStirred

I just want us to be happy.

I believe you, and you seem like a nice guy. So, I'm gonna be brutally honest with you:

1. He's a Virgo who's ashamed of who he is; so, even if he loves you 100% , every time he sees / talks to you, he's reminded of his shame - and his SECRET. We don't like secrets - or lies. For y'all to work long term, he MUST get outta that closet.

2. Almost all of us Virgos need our Quiet & Alone Time. It's how we deal with all of our internal stresses that we rarely if ever talk about. It's not personal, and it's not meant to be hurtful, it's how we keep sane.

3. A Plus: Aries are generally open & honest & straightforward -- we really like that. We also like the Passion y'all have -- it inspires us to be more passionate. Provided that the passion doesn't translate into fighting all the damn time.

Good Luck. I honestly hope this relationship works for y'all.

Now THIS is what I needed. It gives me a much better understanding of what could be going on in his head. Thank you!

I can so relate to this topic. One i am a virgo, and lesbian... and when i first came out.... it was a total relief. I believe you bf is unsure about his sexuality... like he is playing the field. He might of got his self into something he cant get his self out of because now he has caught feelings for you. Ugh i've been there, we seep in to a dark whole where we have to analyze every corner of the situation, and weigh the pros from the cons. My advice to you is to be there for them, dont leave them, speak to them, help them, and they will love you for it, and you will make them feel that they are not alone in the situation at hand... which is accepting that they are falling in love with a man and they are a man themselves. He is confused.

Dating a man in the closet. Run. Run far away. LOL j/k but seriously closeted men are a pain in the ass in general.

You're going to always feel disposable as long as your his little dirty secret. This man may still have SOME desires in his heart towards women which may make this doubly hard for him.

Most likely no one is onto him yet especially if he's still fronting with a woman and/or different women to appear heterosexual, doesn't mean he's having sex but he I'm sure he's agreeing with the heterosexual friends as if he desires females. No one will suspect him if he's going along as if he's heterosexual.

My question is are you out and if you are why be with a guy that is still living in the dark?

Nearly impossible to be with this guy and share with one another openly and consistently if he's not out.

He may not want to lose his masculine image that he's worked hard to create. The idea that he may lose this attractive image if others find out he's Gay scares the shit out of him I'm sure. Being seen as weak for wanting men is a scary thought in itself.

I wish you all the luck but I have a gut feeling this will not last as long as he's in the closet.

Either he'll want you to conform to appearing straight if he's bringing you around his inner circle or be a secret long term either option is not good.

Posted by sunnyvirgo83

Posted by aressupreme
It isn't that I cannot handle his being aloof, it is just that since the relationship is still fairly new (4 months) it is not the easiest to understand. There are times I feel showered with love, and times I feel disposable. I never know if it's me, if this is the end, or if the boy just needs a little space. Mind you, I don't smother him at all, but a text every now and again would be nice. He doesn't actually ignore me usually, since when I do text him he either responds right away, or not at all. Generally if it requires a response and isn't just a "have a nice day" text, he will respond immediately. I love him very much and am trying to get someone insight into this. I am NOT a Virgo but an Aries rather just to give you some perspective on all of this. So I know I can be impatient and such, but I am very caring and understanding. More than anything, I want this to work out. It feels so sight...

Aries are very clingy...sometimes. I think you've mistakenly pushed him a way...not intensionally. But by not giving him space? It's only 4 months in bro, it'll be fine. And if not, there's always other hot men wanting to be with you and will love you for you.

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Nah, i'm far from Clingy. Dated a clingy Aries, it's all bad. Wanted your boyfriend to respond to your texts makes you human, not clingy. I'm ultra confident and rarely let anyone see me sweat. We talked it out. He got the point. We also have spoken about the whole "in the closet" thing. I love him, so i'm not going anywhere. I just was trying to get a better understanding, so I spoke to him. Now I feel 100% better. He thought i was breaking up with him and lashed out at first, but then i talked him down and explained myself further. He got the hint.