Am I so Virgo?????

This topic was created in the Virgo forum by kedemu on Wednesday, November 30, 2011 and has 34 replies.
Hi all,
Let me start with some background ........
I have a sagi girlfriend. She funny, usually crack jokes and intelligent.
we have been in a relationship for almost 2 years. However, her mood is fluctuating.
Some times she is in a good mood and all a sudden she become aggressive, intruding.
We live in different cities, like 2 hours by train. Very recently i surprised her with unexpected visit and some gifts and we had very passionate night.
Two days later i went to some other place to see some college friends and on my way back I texted her that I want to drop by to see her. Well, her answer was very straight, i am not home. Anyway, i waited her at home and when she come every thing was strange. She didn't know i am at her house coz she didn't pick my phone. And I found her in very bad mood. When I asked her what happen, she just say she had i bad day and don't want to peak. I felt so suspicious. I tried to kiss her (which we always do) and i felt (also can bee observed with the eyes) her lips are swallowed. When we went to bed she was completely turned off and just sleep hugging me. Somehow we make intercourse and I don't feel as usuall (may i was imagining something worse). Not only the sex was boring but also her vag##a was so wet which was not so any time before. I saw a text messag exchange with her ex-collage mate the day before that they have to meet at some place. Damn! very shoking.
Why I am making all this stories? Do you guys think, the Sagi has the tendency to cheat on such situations or I am becoming typical , skeptical, pessimistic Virgo? share your experience and advice people.
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Hmmm...something smells rotten in Denmark to me but why not take my word for it and just ask her straight out if she's having an affair? You obviously have suspicions and if this is what your gut is telling you, there may just be something to it.
Women of all signs cheat but since this is an astrology forum...
From my experience, Sag women are not very big on fidelity, and they tend to bore easily which will have them chasing greener pastures faster than you can say green eggs and ham.
If she's acting out of character and texting ex-college mates I say go directly to the horses mouth and find out what in the hot devil is going on.
Good luck
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Hi Cajunspirit,
very very interesting observations. I also saw many of the things you mentioned with my sagi.
specially:
"They lie out of instinct when they know they did something wrong
They lie to avoid confrontation
They avoid confrontation as much as possible
They exaggerate to make better stories"
my sagi is actually really good in covering up and is good actor.
She deviates confrontations and never say i am wrong. She has to counter attack in the worst case.
As a virgo what I found difficult to accept is the fact her mood changed from passionate lover 2 days ago (on her birth) and now wiered,(if my gut is telling me the truth)
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Hi VirgoVixxxen
A big question as long as I don't have any evidence, she will never say "yes I did".
it means i will live with my suspicion.
I rather prefer to look for concrete evidence
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How do you know that she will lie? Have you been through this with her before?
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In general my principle is if she is not afraid to cheat (if again, it could be my perfectionist Virgo nature) there is no way she will be moral to lie.
I also know from my experience with her she is good in covering a lie with a lie, just to avoid confrontation.
There were times i tried to mediate her with her girl-friend and I observe such things.
Any way, I am full heartily open to ideas but the solution is with me, say my mind (like sagi do ..lol)
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I agree with Dec, she cheated. She doesn't need to hack up a hairball as evidence. Even if she didn't have full on intercourse with someone else she's showing you proof that she's skating that edge. Let's review the evidence, shall we?
Swollen lips - recently kissed, roughly.
Avoidance towards you on arrival home - self explanatory. Done caught in the cookie jar.
Not willing to speak - Emotional withdrawal/guilt/possible genital breath.
More withdrawal at bedtime yet hugging - Emotional shut down yet clinging to what is *solid*. Guilt reflex.
Zombie sex/wet woman parts - Heart not in it, yet willing to *give her a go*...previously used vehicle. Or one pump primed ahead of time. Not by your doing.
These are not just warning bells, they are large church bells calling down the town. Listen.
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many thanks for your analysis all of you.
Indeed, it broadens my view in the subject.
To add in the nature of our relationship. I am usually who made the effort (at what i think). For example she has never visited my place for the last 4 months. If i somehow didn't go to her place in the weekends, it is okay with her. she don't pick many of my calls. She almost always promise she will call later and never did it.
On the dark side of me, I started smoking, she usually asks me to stop smoking I even promise her to do so but broke my promise and I am still smoking. Once a time, we went to party and we both were drunk and I don't remember but she always criticize my kissing her girl-friend. Normally, I am not even attracted to her girlfriend.
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Have you thought about what you're going to do kedemu?
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hi VirgoVixxxen,
I have the feeling that I should confront her and face the reality.
One thing i know about my self is, this is my first relationship and I haven't gone though such situations before.
Literally I am trying to learn the protocol on such situations by discussing the issue here.
I am sure If she has been honest with me and convince me, I would have gave this relationship a second chance.
But now it is in a deadlock from my point of view. If you are aware of Virgo's , we are very practical and committed (not everybody though).
Anyway, keep pouring your idea people, I love them, I love the Internet (probably perfect mouth for conservative Virgos)
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Let me share you one incident that happened with me and my gf 1 year ago.
One weekends she come to visit me and while using my laptop she forgot to sign out from her facebook.
When she left I want to use the PC and I was shoke by what i saw in her facebook. Apparently I was tempted to see all her FB conversations and found out an exchange of e-mails with her ex-work mate who lives by that time in different continent.
They exchanged some love letters with polished words such as my first love, love you forever, i miss your body, make sure some people don;t see this message bla bal bal.
It was out of my expectation and I concluded she is having an affair with that guy, and if she still have a feeling she is well come to leave me alone. she was mad and i can see the sadness in her face, she cried and didn't even know what to do. There are two things I want to point here:
1) For me there is no reason that i will write such messages for joking (may be I am too virgo ..strict). At least she could have mentioned it in all the time we spent. By the way she always mention the name of the guy in our conversations.
2) My jumping to conclusion was wrong. I feel that I should have approached her openly mentioning the situation and then make my argument and decision. may be this due to the perceiving behavior of Virgos. We tend to process things slowly in each bit of detail.
How does this incident ended?
Well, after a month I realized that my approach was not correct. I asked her friends about the situation (which should have been before I decide by the way) and they proved me it is a kind of circular joke that they all exchange such flirting e-mails. And ofcourse when i saw her crying my gut told me I am wrong. And I apologized here for my reaction. And we discussed the issues, why she did and why i did so. Here is now after one year a similar situation.
And I don't want to repeat the same mistake, rushing to decisions.
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Kedemu,
Thanks for sharing that. It gives us more insight. You are naive and she is taking advantage of that.
As your fellow Virgins, WE UNDERSTAND.
She and her friends have managed to convince you that it was a joke because she knows that you are inexperienced and can get away with feeding you lies.
And the tears? All crocodile.
I get that you want something solid before approaching her with your suspicions but that may never come (or may take some time) and there is an issue on the table now. You have your intuition for a reason, and from reading everything you've typed thus far, some shit is AMISS.
It's not the easiest situation to be in and I respect that you want to handle this with caution, but, as we say here in the states, she is playing you for a fool. The mere fact that she continues to mention this guy in conversation speaks volumes.
I don't pity you but I do feel for you because I so know how we hate to make hasty decisions. We are like snails in this regard because we are mentally thorough, and have to process a situation in our heads a thousand and one times before we can make a move...if we ever make the move at all.
*Shrugs* maybe the universe will make it easy for you, and one day she'll pick up and leave so that she can continue partaking of the body of one of her 'friends', and in a few months/years...you'll be thanking your lucky stars.
In any event, we're here for you.
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thanks guys my mind is crystal clear now, i will face the reality.
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Posted by kedemu
thanks guys my mind is crystal clear now, i will face the reality.


If you are anything like me, this will not suffice.
You NEED to know, to understand, to have that finality. To have the truth that sets you free.
Asking her directly is unlikely to work as you think it would. She will change the subject, dance around the issue, bring up unrelated events, try to guilt trip/blame you for what she did.
Without the truth, you will feel obligated to believe her, even if she is not telling the truth. She knows she has this power over you.
This is a drawback of our nativity.
You would need to put it in perspective... if she is doing these things now, you are restless from not knowing and she does nothing to dispell your curiousity/doubts then it's only a matter of time before you can not take it anymore.
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questions to cajunspirit ,but kedemu could give his two cents as well,concidering the similarity of your stories :
Do you considering this as cheating? Perhaps you would like your lady to not meet with persons from an opposite sex when she's no acompanied by you?
seized up? perhaps this reaction of her was because you entered her facebook ?
why you have so low level of trust to her? is it because of your previous experiens you had with a sagit girl?

~"They ARE great actors "
How then you recognize when and if they are real with you?
~"These are just things you have to accept, in order to love and keep peace with your Sagi."~
Do you mean with this statement that you would stay in a relationship with your current sagit lady,despite the lack of transparency and straightforwardness ?
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I find it amazing that people would state unequivocally that she cheated ... and more amazing is that they believe themselves.

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In reality, it could just be she was pissed off because you camped on her doorstep, when she told you she was out. If you presented yourself to her with an aire of mistrusting her, why should she then be this vixen of passionate desire and jump your bone with fervor?

To be honest ... most people would likely have the same reaction to you if you just showed up, and then proceeded to camp out waiting, uninvited, unannounced .. and then having expectations on that person on how they are suppose to recieve you and treat you, eventhough it's you who was intrusive.

The vibe I'm getting here is that you are a tad controlling, and you don't like it that she isn't bowing to you.

You just showed up on her doorstep, dude ... and then have the adacity to come here and act like she has no right in getting pissy about you being intrusive upon her space?

The part that really is so fucking Virgo, that it irks the living shit out of me .... here she is in a bad mood, not feeling like making love, not happy at all .. and your mind is on intercourse ~ no thoughts or feelings about whether the timing is good for her, or where she is emotionally ~ you just want to fuck no matter what and then comment about how this fuck session what to par.

Of course it wasn't full of passion .. do you even realize that a woman's emotional state is tied to her sexuality?

**** slaps palm on forehead ****

Well, that was a stupid question on my part .. of course you don't actually 'get' that = you're a Virgo.

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* audacity
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I agree with P that you showing up at her place just 2 days after being with her is intruding on her. When she said she was out and didn't answer her phone, you should've gone home. Maybe she was tired or just wanting to take a long bath and watch a movie "alone". I have Virgo rising and want to be fresh, clean and my apartment sparkling before a man comes over. There are days I just need to "chill" by myself. And if for whatever reason she was with another guy right before you, I doubt she would've slept with you at all. And yes, she could still be talking with other guys because we Sags do need a lot of reinforcement. But it doesn't mean we are screwing them!
If you think she lies and is not faithful then maybe you should find someone who live closer and who you trust. That's no life for you, worrying about if she is fucking someone else. You deserve more.
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Posted by Cajunspirit
Dating a Sagi girl for the second time here.
They tend to just get bored a lot easily and are always looking for a way to have fun/pass time.
Here are some simply facts
Most do things and don't like talking about where they go or who they go with.
They like freedom
Some do have a tendency to cheat
They don't like being overly questioned
They hang out with many people
They are very friendly, more so than we virgos would like with other guys
The do have lots of mood swings
Their mood swings can change their normal cherry nature and make us Virgos suspicious
They lie out of instinct when they know they did something wrong
They lie to avoid confrontation
They avoid confrontation as much as possible
They exaggerate to make better stories
They are quick to say they can change when in a good mood, but re neg when put under pressure to instinctual responses


Hey, I'm a sag female and some of these are true, tho others aren't. Just depends on her chart.
Yes I do like freedom, but I love to cuddle and know I am loved. I just don't like people who constantly text when I haven't even responded to them yet.
I have never cheated, but maybe that's due to my mostly water/earth based chart
If I am vague about something it's because I don't want to be questioned about it. I will elaborate on most things, but if something was vague don't even ask. Seriously.
I don't hang out with too many people, but when I do I like to talk to whoever I know there, so if you want me to focus on you you'd better plan a one-on-one date.
Flirting is our way of talking. We like to be on people's good sides, usually. You have to understand that if we're with you we're not going to run off with the people with flirt. We're more loyal than that. We picked you for a reason.
I can have mood swings, but it's more like I can be extroverted and then I get tired and want to be left alone. This is the time I like to spend with my SO and cuddle smile
If I respect you I won't lie to you. Also if I trust you can handle the truth I won't lie to you.
I avoid confrontation sometimes, but only when I don't wanna be bothered, then I am indifferent. But a lot of times I will tell you my opinion whether you like it or not.
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Posted by 25thDecan
Kitsune...not every profile amounts to a gaslighter..which is quite what this woman did to the op. Id say the same if it were a guy. Don't read too much into those profiles...they don't cover nuance well. No attack just stating from learned experience. You are legitimately you.
But this chick clearly doesn't want this guy who would travel two cities over to see her and spend time with her...and he's her boyfriend. Red.Flag.


I agree. She doesn't respect him. He sounds to me like a doormat. A sag women needs someone who can be confident and take the lead, not some guy who's suspicious and trying to be controlling.
You're right, they are not compatible at all. She's not emotionally mature and he's not trusting of her. The relationship was doomed from the start.
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And I'd like to add that if she is in fact cheating on him it's because she doesn't respect him. If she respected him she'd have no problem being loyal. And that's plenty to say "hey this isn't working out" and dump her.
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Posted by happykitsune

If I am vague about something it's because I don't want to be questioned about it. I will elaborate on most things, but if something was vague don't even ask. Seriously.
Flirting is our way of talking. We like to be on people's good sides, usually. You have to understand that if we're with you we're not going to run off with the people with flirt. We're more loyal than that. We picked you for a reason.
I can have mood swings, but it's more like I can be extroverted and then I get tired and want to be left alone. This is the time I like to spend with my SO and cuddle smile
If I respect you I won't lie to you. Also if I trust you can handle the truth I won't lie to you.
I avoid confrontation sometimes, but only when I don't wanna be bothered, then I am indifferent. But a lot of times I will tell you my opinion whether you like it or not.



Hypocrisy is the drink of Sagittarians.
With shots of convenient truths here and there.
Blind faith is what they ask of you. Yet, they need constant reinforcement.
Explanations is what they want when you mess up, yet a task to reciprocate when they do the same... and they do so often.
Don't keep a promise and they'll bang you over the head with it, yet they can hardly remember the promises they made... even if they do, they still do what they want.
Be fair in a your relationships and communicate. It is so simple.
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Posted by 1urbanicblue
Posted by Cajunspirit
Posted by happykitsune

If I am vague about something it's because I don't want to be questioned about it. I will elaborate on most things, but if something was vague don't even ask. Seriously.
Flirting is our way of talking. We like to be on people's good sides, usually. You have to understand that if we're with you we're not going to run off with the people with flirt. We're more loyal than that. We picked you for a reason.
I avoid confrontation sometimes, but only when I don't wanna be bothered, then I am indifferent. But a lot of times I will tell you my opinion whether you like it or not.



Hypocrisy is the drink of Sagittarians.
With shots of convenient truths here and there.
Blind faith is what they ask of you. Yet, they need constant reinforcement.
Explanations is what they want when you mess up, yet a task to reciprocate when they do the same... and they do so often.
Don't keep a promise and they'll bang you over the head with it, yet they can hardly remember the promises they made... even if they do, they still do what they want.
Be fair in a your relationships and communicate. It is so simple.


Sagittarians have that problem but it's easy, so easy to rectify. if you tell/show them of their hypocrisy each. and. every. time. but with love, not with snideness (I have sagittarians in my family so i know) they slowly, begin to realise it, and they actually appreciate it. and believe it or not, they do make an effort in the future to think before acting.
click to expand


Yeah you hit it on the head...when i first started dating my sag she would complain about what I wasn't doing romantically then, I reversed it and said you why should I when YOU haven't made the effort...needless to say it changed. Also...Sags Will come a running if you just go into your ignore mode...something about it lights a fire under them and you see that fiery side. Once you understand they can be fickle you'll be able to adjust (mutable side) and make changes. But in all..if two people want to make it work you will...but it takes two...not one smile
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Posted by Cajunspirit
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Posted by 25thDecan
Live in 2 different cities..guy comes to see YOU..gifting YOU...and you act cold and distant..don't wanna kiss. Even if she's NOT screwing around..she IS btw, just a better hunch..sue me....(cont) she's quite the selfish one.
If you do something positive and a woman acts as if YOU are abnormal or as if she can do without it....RUN. she may blame it on a moodswing(rubbish, that's an excuse to trivialize your attempts to bond), she may say "it was unexpected! I just wasn't ready"(complete rubbish, that's another excuse to avoid reciprocating what you're putting forward). You shouldn't be in the friend zone with your girlfriend. If you are, you should have sex with her bff and her sister and move on. She'd do the same to you, because she doesn't care. You have a choice just like she does. She chooses to shut you out when you give time to see her and lavish her with positive affection.
Move.On.


Hi Dec! Had to mention though that the OP's Saggie did NOT reject him the first time he showed up unannounced with gifts on her birthday. She did welcome him and they had a great time, great sex. He did not travel 2 hours to see her the second time(2 days later). He was with his buddies and decides to hit her up (probably drunk/bootie call?) and shows up unannounced at her doorstep! So why is it wrong that she acted a little cold? She still allowed him to stay over and get a piece of ass even though she might've been tired, etc.(see my other post).
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Posted by kedemu
many thanks for your analysis all of you.
Indeed, it broadens my view in the subject.
To add in the nature of our relationship. I am usually who made the effort (at what i think). For example she has never visited my place for the last 4 months. If i somehow didn't go to her place in the weekends, it is okay with her. she don't pick many of my calls. She almost always promise she will call later and never did it.
On the dark side of me, I started smoking, she usually asks me to stop smoking I even promise her to do so but broke my promise and I am still smoking. Once a time, we went to party and we both were drunk and I don't remember but she always criticize my kissing her girl-friend. Normally, I am not even attracted to her girlfriend.


At the risk of being the unheard voice of your Saggie gf (lol), you admit yourself that you have a "dark side". You started smoking AFTER you were dating her, right? Why is it wrong that she would want you to stop? It effects your health and she cares for you. Also, wtf?, why are you kissing her girlfriend? That is showing total disrespect for her feelings.
You both sound young, you both will make mistakes, and as mentioned by Dec, a long distance relationship is hard. I would not be too quick to judge her before looking also at yourself..
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Ok, stepping down from my pedestal now...lol
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Have you ever met a girl that you tried to date
But a year to make love she wanted you to wait
Let me tell ya a story of my situation
I was talkin' to this girl from the U.S. nation
The way that I met her was on tour at a concert
She had long hair and a short miniskirt
I just got onstage drippin', pourin' with sweat
I was walkin' through the crowd and gues who I met
I whispered in her ear, "Come to the picture booth
So I can ask you some questions to see if you are a hundred proof"
I asked her her name, she said blah-blah-blah
She had 9/10 pants and a very big bra
I took a couple of flicks and she was enthused
I said, "How do you like the show?"
She said, "I was very amused"
I started throwin' bass, she started throwin' back mid-range
But when I sprung the question, she acted kind of strange
Then when I asked, "Do ya have a man," she tried to pretend
She said, "No I don't, I only have a friend"
Come on, I'm not even goin' for it
This is what I'm goin' sing
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
And you say he's just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
But you say he's just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
But you say he's just a friend
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/b/biz+markie/just+a+friend_20018799.html ]
So I took blah-blah's word for it at this time
I thought just havin' a friend couldn't be no crime
'Cause I have friends and that's a fact
Like Agnes, Agatha, Germaine, and Jacq
Forget about that, let's go into the story
About a girl named blah-blah-blah that adored me
So we started talkin', getttin' familiar
Spendin' a lot of time so we can build up
A relationship or some undderstanding
How it's gonna be in the future we was plannin'
Everything sounded so dandy and sweet
I had no idea I was in for a treat
After this was established, everything was cool
The tour was over and she went back to school
I called every day to see how she was doin'
Everytime that I ccalled her it seemed somethin' was brewin'
I called her and a guy picked up, and then I called again
I said, "Yo, who was that?" "Oh, he's just a friend"
Don't gimme that, don't ever gimme that
Jus' bust this
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
And you say he's just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say he's....
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It doesn't sound like she is in the same heart place that you are.Why should you spend your time worrying about if your relationship is on solid ground,than having a good relationship.I know we don't like to give up on love once we go there. If your heart and virgo senses feel icky ,maybe you should take some time for yourself to see just where things are going for you two.Good luck.
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Hi All,
I am back again.
since we can learn a lot from sharing eachother, I will share you what is happenning rightnow.
After the incident, I also went last weekendsto see her. The first night she was tired I kept my distance, it is also understandable she work all day and could possibly be tired to have some romance. The next two days, she completely normal things look like nothing happened. We had our romantic life again.
I still have the images of incidents beforetwo weeks but now iam confused. I only have confirmation she spoke with a lady 9i also know) in that balck sunday (the day i suspected her of cheating on me) and the place she went. The place she visited is the place were the ex-collage mate lives but there is no sign of communicating with me. She could be clever enough to hide everything OR I am anble to get the evidence, OR I cold also be long. Now she is talking all about spending the christmas and other positive things ..... I am confused again. To be honest I still suspect her but don't want to ruin my relationship her spirt without evidence.
I will keep on taking care of my self and her. If anything an usual happened I will post it. Many thanks for your comments I both enjoyed reading them and learned alot.
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Just as I expected
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Hey people,
So many interesting things are happening over there. We Virgos never learn but someone else might.
I started this thread because my girlfriend (sagi) start acting weired, very unusual behavior. After like a week, I also updated that things are normal.
Yet i found something strange once more, while I almost forgot the incident I suddenly found her recent articles all about "How to know if you are a lesbian", "How to tell your friend if you are a lesbian", "signs of a lesbian". From my Virgo perspective the chance of this relationship is getting down. In addition, she is also watching series movies like "The L Word" ....
i am screwed I guess ... naive Virgo ...
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I doubt, sounds like she just got really bored.
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