Arguing!!!
This topic was created in the Virgo forum by Angel1177 on Thursday, May 17, 2007 and has 71 replies.
You are on page out of 2 | Reverse Order
Why do Virgo's say they hate to argue, and then create exactly just that! I don't understand, if arguing is something you hate, wouldn't it be "logical" that patience, understanding, and communication would be a standard package??? I love my Virgo dearly, but the manipulation, yelling, and bringing up past events seems to be tactics used inevery argument, no matter how minute or big...which leads to escalated arguments. SO my boyfriend makes an assumption last night that I am bothered, simply because I am quiet...I WAS NOT BOTHERED...and proceeds to continuously ask what's wrong...he felt I wasn't reciprocative during what was about to be an intimate moment...talk about killing the moment...I was patient until I couldn't any more...he kept pushing, so I chose to stay quiet and suggested we just go to sleep...one thing led to another and BOOM...an argument...and here comes the past, and times I have messed up...and the yelling and low and behold we have a full blown argument...to then hear, I hate this arguing...I am so tired of it...excuse me...it was amazing to watch a con-artist at his best...the way he flipped it to suddenly make it about me was rather impressive...I left...I couldn't any more...so we talk this morning, and he tells me that he will not be attending an event we had agreed to go to tomorrow...I am beside myself...I am always there for him, no matter what, he created a huge argument last night and has the audacity to say, I am not blaming you or me, I just think it would be best for him to get some rest to avoid any further arguing....so let's see, I didn't do anything wrong, yet he cancels on me for both our sakes...can it get any more selfish and manipulative...I am so frustrated!
you can kill a person with silence more than anything else in this world.When he starts his bs just ignore him.Trust im just learning this and im 22 took me long time because im so used to arguing with people.Or say i really dont wanna discuss this and if he loves you and respects you then he'll stop.Your frustrated cause you still love him but you dont have to break up with him.
You are very right, and on oaccasions I have tried this and it always works...but the truth is, it's not always so easy...especially when you feel something is unfair...but you are 100% right, nothing works better than the silent treatment...because obviously me pointing things out only makes things worse, and backfires on me...
"Why do Virgo's say they hate to argue, and then create exactly just that! I don't understand"
It's simple .. it means, don't argue with them because they are always right, see?
They can argue, they are allowed, because they are right, and you are wrong.
But, since you are wrong .. then how dare you argue with them, see?
The solution to the problem is just as simple .. accept you are always wrong and he is always right and the arguing will cease.
It's simple .. it means, don't argue with them because they are always right, see?
They can argue, they are allowed, because they are right, and you are wrong.
But, since you are wrong .. then how dare you argue with them, see?
The solution to the problem is just as simple .. accept you are always wrong and he is always right and the arguing will cease.
Thanks DC...the reality is, even when I try and say what may be bothering me, in a calm manner, if he doesn't agree with it, there is grounds for an argument, which defeats the purpose of trying to get closer to a solution. SO if I say something, bad, and if I don't bad...this is where my frustration lies...I tell him all the time that a yes ma'am would better suit him...and he disagrees, he just wishes I wouldn't fight him back, in other words have an opinion...I have never had a hard time communicating with anyone, but with him no matter the approach, the results are usually negative...but then when I withdraw, he calls non-stop, and wants to see me and is everything I ever wanted...he makes me happy but this is the one thing about our relationship that really bothers me...the inconsistency, and never knowing when something will spark an argument can be draining...
It's just very confusing...
and yes, I am a fish...
It's just very confusing...
and yes, I am a fish...
Angel1117 .. My Virgo used to be this way, in the beginning. For the longest time, I didn't understand why it was happening .. once I realized the reason WHY, I was able to make the adjustment and now it doesn't happen any longer.
It was because of his normal Virgo nature .. feelings don't process as quickly as the rest of us because they are logic based. So, when an issue came up, or just a sudden change of some kind that would trigger an emotional spike, he would bring up all the past shit because THOSE things he already knew how he felt .. whereas, the new situation hasn't been processed yet because he couldn't do it within seconds like me (who can process and change feelings at the blink of an eye). In other words, he was feeling something, beit: irritation, anger, joy, sorrow, frustration (whatever) .. and he didn't know how to react, but, couldn't ignore that something inside was firing .. so, past shit came to the surface.
How I solved it? NOT by ignoring .. nobody wants to be ignored .. you wouldn't like it, he doesn't like it .. it's rude !!! And, furthermore, to evolve within a relationship, the people are suppose to have communication. How can one person in the relationship tell the Virgo to open up and communicate, just so when he does .. he's ignored?
Bullshit .. that's not how to treat somebody. There has to be some understanding on the person who is the non-Virgo in this partnership and give him the time and space he needs to process, without being ignored and without being drawn into an arguement over history.
So, what you do (what I did) is to look him straight in the eye when you sense he's getting ready to dig in the garbage and refuse to discuss it. Let him rant, carry-on for as long as he chooses .. just don't respond, while maintaining eye contact. Listen to every word he says, if he moves to another room, follow him .. but, remain silent. Finally, he'll calm down and then ask you why you aren't recriprocating .. tell him because you aren't going to argue about it. His temper may flare again .. but, eventually, he will see that you aren't playing games with him .. you'll not be baited. Finally, when he's reasonable, tell him that whatever it is that's bothering him, he needs to find some space and hash it out .. when he's ready to talk like a civil human being, you'll drop what you're doing and go to him.
He'll know this to be true because 1) you didn't argue, and 2) you didn't ignore him.
It was because of his normal Virgo nature .. feelings don't process as quickly as the rest of us because they are logic based. So, when an issue came up, or just a sudden change of some kind that would trigger an emotional spike, he would bring up all the past shit because THOSE things he already knew how he felt .. whereas, the new situation hasn't been processed yet because he couldn't do it within seconds like me (who can process and change feelings at the blink of an eye). In other words, he was feeling something, beit: irritation, anger, joy, sorrow, frustration (whatever) .. and he didn't know how to react, but, couldn't ignore that something inside was firing .. so, past shit came to the surface.
How I solved it? NOT by ignoring .. nobody wants to be ignored .. you wouldn't like it, he doesn't like it .. it's rude !!! And, furthermore, to evolve within a relationship, the people are suppose to have communication. How can one person in the relationship tell the Virgo to open up and communicate, just so when he does .. he's ignored?
Bullshit .. that's not how to treat somebody. There has to be some understanding on the person who is the non-Virgo in this partnership and give him the time and space he needs to process, without being ignored and without being drawn into an arguement over history.
So, what you do (what I did) is to look him straight in the eye when you sense he's getting ready to dig in the garbage and refuse to discuss it. Let him rant, carry-on for as long as he chooses .. just don't respond, while maintaining eye contact. Listen to every word he says, if he moves to another room, follow him .. but, remain silent. Finally, he'll calm down and then ask you why you aren't recriprocating .. tell him because you aren't going to argue about it. His temper may flare again .. but, eventually, he will see that you aren't playing games with him .. you'll not be baited. Finally, when he's reasonable, tell him that whatever it is that's bothering him, he needs to find some space and hash it out .. when he's ready to talk like a civil human being, you'll drop what you're doing and go to him.
He'll know this to be true because 1) you didn't argue, and 2) you didn't ignore him.
"he just wishes I wouldn't fight him back, in other words have an opinion"
"even when I try and say what may be bothering me, in a calm manner, if he doesn't agree with it, there is grounds for an argument"
One has to take control of the Virgo .. if left unchecked, they WILL dominate and though, this is great for a sign who can "feel" and is intuitive .. it's not for the Virgo. If it's left up to a person to make all the decisions and all the decisions are based off of practicality and logic .. what will result is cold frustration from the Virgo because they cannot understand why you won't listen to reason .. the reason is simple .. you feel.
In order for a water sign to relate with Virgo .. you MUST take command. Your power over him will be in NOT responding to his negativity. If you repsond to it and react to it, he has gained the upper-hand .. this is what he is trying to do, pick a fight.
Don't let it happen .. eventually, he'll bow down and let you rule.
"even when I try and say what may be bothering me, in a calm manner, if he doesn't agree with it, there is grounds for an argument"
One has to take control of the Virgo .. if left unchecked, they WILL dominate and though, this is great for a sign who can "feel" and is intuitive .. it's not for the Virgo. If it's left up to a person to make all the decisions and all the decisions are based off of practicality and logic .. what will result is cold frustration from the Virgo because they cannot understand why you won't listen to reason .. the reason is simple .. you feel.
In order for a water sign to relate with Virgo .. you MUST take command. Your power over him will be in NOT responding to his negativity. If you repsond to it and react to it, he has gained the upper-hand .. this is what he is trying to do, pick a fight.
Don't let it happen .. eventually, he'll bow down and let you rule.
P-Angel by ignore I meant not reciprocating in the argument, not actually ignore...I wouldn't want that done to me, so I wouldn't do it...I mean I won't give in to the argument, I'll do as you said, I just stay quiet...but I don't do it often enough...
so your advice is right on, because from past experience it does work when I just let him vent, give him his space...he always comes running back...
so you said you use to go through this, how did the communication improve...did the arguing stop and communication increase, or did he just stop getting so carried away???
so your advice is right on, because from past experience it does work when I just let him vent, give him his space...he always comes running back...
so you said you use to go through this, how did the communication improve...did the arguing stop and communication increase, or did he just stop getting so carried away???
And whatever you do DON'T, "when I try and say what may be bothering me, in a calm manner"
Don't tell him, while he is in this frame of mind, anything emotinally based, or it will trigger an explosion. Wait until it's on your terms. He'll stop shouting once he realizes that you won't take his abuse, you'll stand tall and direct in front of him, you won't cower AND you will NOT be victimized by his assaults.
He'll stop and find his composure.
Don't tell him, while he is in this frame of mind, anything emotinally based, or it will trigger an explosion. Wait until it's on your terms. He'll stop shouting once he realizes that you won't take his abuse, you'll stand tall and direct in front of him, you won't cower AND you will NOT be victimized by his assaults.
He'll stop and find his composure.
P-Angel...you're the best!!! I will rule with NOT responding!!
And whatever you do DON'T, "when I try and say what may be bothering me, in a calm manner"
Don't tell him, while he is in this frame of mind, anything emotinally based, or it will trigger an explosion. Wait until it's on your terms. He'll stop shouting once he realizes that you won't take his abuse, you'll stand tall and direct in front of him, you won't cower AND you will NOT be victimized by his assaults.
He'll stop and find his composure.
OK, I need help, I find your advice very helpful, but I need further clarification...see this I am slowly getting, when he is angry it is not the time to bring up other things, but what if he isn't and something has been bothering me, and I try and tell him something calmy when he seems calm, and it still results in an argument...do I then let him vent tell him I will talk to him when he has had some space to think...and then when he comes to me calmly will I have my chance...
why does it have to be so complicated!
Don't tell him, while he is in this frame of mind, anything emotinally based, or it will trigger an explosion. Wait until it's on your terms. He'll stop shouting once he realizes that you won't take his abuse, you'll stand tall and direct in front of him, you won't cower AND you will NOT be victimized by his assaults.
He'll stop and find his composure.
OK, I need help, I find your advice very helpful, but I need further clarification...see this I am slowly getting, when he is angry it is not the time to bring up other things, but what if he isn't and something has been bothering me, and I try and tell him something calmy when he seems calm, and it still results in an argument...do I then let him vent tell him I will talk to him when he has had some space to think...and then when he comes to me calmly will I have my chance...
why does it have to be so complicated!
it is not arguing to them,it is 'having a nice discussion'
haahaa
haahaa
Now, my Virgo NEVER brings up past shit. We may argue (rarely), but, it's always about current issues that arise. History is just that and it won't be re-visited. Occasionally he'll try because it is within the Virgo nature to hold grudges until their dying breath .. but, it falls on deaf ears.
If you'll notice, just in here, as soon as you tick one of them off .. history becomes public yet AGAIN .. it's just the way they are. Refuse to accept it. They will live in the past if you let them .. don't let them.
Just try. It worked with mine, but, everybody is different. Alls you can do is try. If he brings up the past, just simply don't do it. If he wants or demands that you particpate .. then say something about the future. Talk about tomorrow. If they are allowed, they will talk, rage and entertain revenge on shit that even happened in their childhood .. don't let it happen.
Good Luck
If you'll notice, just in here, as soon as you tick one of them off .. history becomes public yet AGAIN .. it's just the way they are. Refuse to accept it. They will live in the past if you let them .. don't let them.
Just try. It worked with mine, but, everybody is different. Alls you can do is try. If he brings up the past, just simply don't do it. If he wants or demands that you particpate .. then say something about the future. Talk about tomorrow. If they are allowed, they will talk, rage and entertain revenge on shit that even happened in their childhood .. don't let it happen.
Good Luck
"it is not arguing to them,it is 'having a nice discussion"
lol, you will be dominated, then.
lol, you will be dominated, then.
Angel1177 Sometimes in a relationship you have to ignore certain things because if you feed into everything there will be constant struggles.What im saying is that Sh!t that can be avoided let it go.Who in the hell wants to be with someone who nags all the time.Especially if its about the same thing over and over.What makes a relationship work is when the two of you can except that how you each deal with certain things are different.Maybe space is neccessary maybe it isn't.Ok so the next time he starts with you just simply tell him"A woman picks and chooses her battles and the days that you wanna act erractic I will not deal with you".This will be the end result when the two of you finish arguing,either passionate sex with kissing and making up apologizing.Or angry hearts tears regrets words that have should not been said.Go away for a few days then come back.You understand what im saying.
"and something has been bothering me, and I try and tell him something calmy when he seems calm, and it still results in an argument"
Then stop .. keep trying, but, EVERYTIME an arguement starts STOP and don't say any further. Eventually, he'll come to you and ask you what it is you want to say. He'll notice in time that there is something you needed to talk about, but, won't. He'll even ask you WHY you won't tell him .. and tell him, "Because everytime I bring this up, you want to fight. I simply want to have a discussion. When you're ready to talk, I'll be in the living room."
It won't happen overnight, but, eventually, he'll comprehend that you won't play the power game with him. You will only relate as an adult PERIOD.
Then stop .. keep trying, but, EVERYTIME an arguement starts STOP and don't say any further. Eventually, he'll come to you and ask you what it is you want to say. He'll notice in time that there is something you needed to talk about, but, won't. He'll even ask you WHY you won't tell him .. and tell him, "Because everytime I bring this up, you want to fight. I simply want to have a discussion. When you're ready to talk, I'll be in the living room."
It won't happen overnight, but, eventually, he'll comprehend that you won't play the power game with him. You will only relate as an adult PERIOD.
but seriously,in my relationship with my virgo,i am the one who really starts off an argument,whereas she tries to curb it.
i am the one who raises hell over even tiny things.
she tries to calm things down.
i am the one who raises hell over even tiny things.
she tries to calm things down.
The problem here is that you're a Pisces .. other signs can simply walk away, go find something else to do and ignore him. We cannot do that. We live within our environment, so we feel bound to sit until the bitter end until there's a resolution.
"but seriously,in my relationship with my virgo,i am the one who really starts off an argument,whereas she tries to curb it.
i am the one who raises hell over even tiny things.
she tries to calm things down"
That's nice. However, it depends on what the arguement is. If it's past shit, such as the problem Angel is having .. that's not good. What is also not good is when a person isn't allowed to express emotions. So, it depends on what you start arguements over. If it is feeling based and this is curbed .. it will lead to resentment.
Logic is great, it has it's place .. but, CANNOT replace feelings .. the moment this allowed to happen .. you stop living.
i am the one who raises hell over even tiny things.
she tries to calm things down"
That's nice. However, it depends on what the arguement is. If it's past shit, such as the problem Angel is having .. that's not good. What is also not good is when a person isn't allowed to express emotions. So, it depends on what you start arguements over. If it is feeling based and this is curbed .. it will lead to resentment.
Logic is great, it has it's place .. but, CANNOT replace feelings .. the moment this allowed to happen .. you stop living.
devil that avatar reminds me of a migraine for some reason....
why?
is it giving you a headache?
i think it demonstrates some part of my personality
why?
is it giving you a headache?
i think it demonstrates some part of my personality
Exactly! Because I am a Pisces, I feel everything!!! I wish my Aquarius moon would kick in more often...so I could walk away easily and resume when he wants to talk as adults..
P-Angel...I will try my best...hope you don't mind...along the way, I know I will have more questions for you...may even send you a PM...
P-Angel...I will try my best...hope you don't mind...along the way, I know I will have more questions for you...may even send you a PM...
What is also not good is when a person isn't allowed to express emotions.
Do you find that after you set things straight in your relationship, that you can talk to your Virgo about anything?
Do you find that after you set things straight in your relationship, that you can talk to your Virgo about anything?
maybe then i am a headache to a few people
That's fine, Angel, you can PM anytime .. I will try to help in whatever way I can. But, remember, this is just my Virgo, everybody's different, so he may not respond to the same things mine did.
Good Luck and I hope you figure this out because I know you care for a lot.
Good Luck and I hope you figure this out because I know you care for a lot.
"Do you find that after you set things straight in your relationship, that you can talk to your Virgo about anything?"
Yeah, so long as it doesn't have to do with emotions. He shrugs off anything that has to do with feelings and will only talk logic. In 25 years of marriage, Angel, I haven't gotten him to accept that people will react/respond with feelings.
Virgo's don't "feel" luv .. they "think"
Yeah, so long as it doesn't have to do with emotions. He shrugs off anything that has to do with feelings and will only talk logic. In 25 years of marriage, Angel, I haven't gotten him to accept that people will react/respond with feelings.
Virgo's don't "feel" luv .. they "think"
the arguments are fought with all the logical might we both have.then if something else assumes our attention,we leave it for the time being and return to normal.haahaa
then when we get alone again,it is resumed.
when both of our resources get exhausted,and we still don't agree,then we just let it be until one of us finds that their choice was better by sunsequently squeasing a fact into the situation.
then when we get alone again,it is resumed.
when both of our resources get exhausted,and we still don't agree,then we just let it be until one of us finds that their choice was better by sunsequently squeasing a fact into the situation.
I think it all stems from their fear of being hurt...which makes no sense, love is not logical...
funny how they fear being hurt, but are great at hurting themselves by creating a wall...that usually crumbles on them...
funny how they fear being hurt, but are great at hurting themselves by creating a wall...that usually crumbles on them...
Well, you're not a water person .. so, it matters not to you about whether you "feel"
That above was to Devil
i am on the cusp of pisces,so i somewhat understand this need to feel out the things.
if i cannot have an emotional attachment to anything,it disturbs me.
i guess every virgo is different,mine is a rare case,so i won't give her example.
they generally try to curb the feeling part,to try to concentrate on the objective logical part.
i sometimes feel they have control freak personalities.in curbing the emotions that is.
if i cannot have an emotional attachment to anything,it disturbs me.
i guess every virgo is different,mine is a rare case,so i won't give her example.
they generally try to curb the feeling part,to try to concentrate on the objective logical part.
i sometimes feel they have control freak personalities.in curbing the emotions that is.
"I think it all stems from their fear of being hurt"
That's exactly what it is .. as it is with every person who only operates through life using their logic and not their feelings .. we gain strength in what we learn. Everything we have, all our skills and talents .. came from learning, gaining strength through experiences.
So, naturally, if a person only operates with their logic and doesn't allow themselves to feel, then they are emotionally weak .. this weakness scares them.
Take me for example, completely emotional, will express any emotion freely .. I have no fear of being hurt. There isn't anything someone could do to my heart, that I can't handle and that's because I've strengthened this muscle through allowing life experiences in which I felt whatever sensation it was.
Virgo's fear being hurt, indeed .. because feeling is forgiegn.
That's exactly what it is .. as it is with every person who only operates through life using their logic and not their feelings .. we gain strength in what we learn. Everything we have, all our skills and talents .. came from learning, gaining strength through experiences.
So, naturally, if a person only operates with their logic and doesn't allow themselves to feel, then they are emotionally weak .. this weakness scares them.
Take me for example, completely emotional, will express any emotion freely .. I have no fear of being hurt. There isn't anything someone could do to my heart, that I can't handle and that's because I've strengthened this muscle through allowing life experiences in which I felt whatever sensation it was.
Virgo's fear being hurt, indeed .. because feeling is forgiegn.
Something I find quite humorous with the Virgo. They will say that they are emotionally strong because they have it under control .. when in fact, this makes them weak.
Having the ability to handle .. is strength.
Not being able to handle (ignorance) .. is weakness.
Having the ability to handle .. is strength.
Not being able to handle (ignorance) .. is weakness.
If somebody wants to me hide that last post, I will .. if it offended anyone.
i think both logic and feeling is needed in proper doses to be a balanced person.
an overload of any of these two will cause imbalance,emotional wreck in the first scenario,and zombie in the second.
an overload of any of these two will cause imbalance,emotional wreck in the first scenario,and zombie in the second.
Wow, DC .. I love that. Did you finish the poem? Will you share it?
"an overload of any of these two will cause imbalance,emotional wreck in the first scenario,and zombie in the second."
Agreed, which is why Virgo and Pisces are NOT a good match. Virgo's are nearly pure logic, while the Fish is nearly pure emotions. In theory, it sounds like it should work, right? They each can teach each other what is lacking .. but, it doesn't seem to work that way. In most cases the V/P combo falls apart.
Agreed, which is why Virgo and Pisces are NOT a good match. Virgo's are nearly pure logic, while the Fish is nearly pure emotions. In theory, it sounds like it should work, right? They each can teach each other what is lacking .. but, it doesn't seem to work that way. In most cases the V/P combo falls apart.
Well, you're not a water person .. so, it matters not to you about whether you "feel"
and i think it will be unfair to render the air signs feelingless.
how can you be so sure that it does not matter to me whether i feel or not?
all i can say is,whatever it is that makes me the way i am,i am bound by my feelings as much as i am by my soul.
and i think it will be unfair to render the air signs feelingless.
how can you be so sure that it does not matter to me whether i feel or not?
all i can say is,whatever it is that makes me the way i am,i am bound by my feelings as much as i am by my soul.
Man, can I use that? I mean, to read all the time .. cause, you know, I'm needing to move on, too. Your poem talks to me
Thanks, DC
Thanks, DC
"the arguments are fought with all the logical might we both have.then if something else assumes our attention,we leave it for the time being and return to normal.haahaa
then when we get alone again,it is resumed.
when both of our resources get exhausted,and we still don't agree,then we just let it be until one of us finds that their choice was better by sunsequently squeasing a fact into the situation."
Sorry, Devil .. my response was based off of this post you made. Later, you explained the importance of feelings to you. Judgeing purly from the above post, it's all about fact and logic, and it referenced that this is how both of you operate, so, that's where my response came from that said it matters not whether you feel.
Sorry
then when we get alone again,it is resumed.
when both of our resources get exhausted,and we still don't agree,then we just let it be until one of us finds that their choice was better by sunsequently squeasing a fact into the situation."
Sorry, Devil .. my response was based off of this post you made. Later, you explained the importance of feelings to you. Judgeing purly from the above post, it's all about fact and logic, and it referenced that this is how both of you operate, so, that's where my response came from that said it matters not whether you feel.
Sorry
Wow, PA. I'm really impressed. You've managed to encapsulate the virgo psyche and I actually learned something about myself in the process.
Speaking as a virgo... PA's right when she says that we process emotions more slowly than others. I can't tell you how many times I've been overcome by an emotion and just have to sit quietly for a bit to figure out how I'm reacting to something. That's useful when it comes to the little things, but not really very helpful when you have to act quickly.
One other thing to remember that I think PA alluded to... we all like to be heard. If I'm feeling pissy about one thing or another, it does me a world of good just to be able to get it out of my system. Once that's done, I'm totally cool with actual discussion.
Speaking as a virgo... PA's right when she says that we process emotions more slowly than others. I can't tell you how many times I've been overcome by an emotion and just have to sit quietly for a bit to figure out how I'm reacting to something. That's useful when it comes to the little things, but not really very helpful when you have to act quickly.
One other thing to remember that I think PA alluded to... we all like to be heard. If I'm feeling pissy about one thing or another, it does me a world of good just to be able to get it out of my system. Once that's done, I'm totally cool with actual discussion.
"They always agreed with me in 3 mins or just went silent (that's when I felt they might not agree but rather kept the peace)."
SG, mine will do this now .. just remain silent. And sometimes, it's even worse. Peace is great and I don't want to argue either, but, if there's something on his mind, if there's something he doesn't like, or anything that he feels he needs to address, I would rather that he comes out with it, than hold it inside just to pacify me.
People have the desire to adjust/change for their partners, and if something is felt, but, not addressed, then how is the other person suppose to know how to make the union better?
SG, mine will do this now .. just remain silent. And sometimes, it's even worse. Peace is great and I don't want to argue either, but, if there's something on his mind, if there's something he doesn't like, or anything that he feels he needs to address, I would rather that he comes out with it, than hold it inside just to pacify me.
People have the desire to adjust/change for their partners, and if something is felt, but, not addressed, then how is the other person suppose to know how to make the union better?
v-lady, I've lived with a Virgo for a long, long time. We all have strengths and weaknesses and not in the same areas. Once it's understood that the Virgo just needs more time, then it all falls into place. The flip side of that, is that he understands my differences too. Because I'm nearly completely emotionall driven (Pisces Sun/Cancer Moon) .. my vening process comes out in a wide range of random and scattered feelings. He'll sit quietly by, waiting for me to get it out .. then we can talk.
"he would bring up all the past butter because THOSE things he already knew how he felt .. whereas, the new situation hasn't been processed yet because he couldn't do it within seconds like me (who can process and change feelings at the blink of an eye). In other words, he was feeling something, beit: irritation, anger, joy, sorrow, frustration (whatever) .. and he didn't know how to react, but, couldn't ignore that something inside was firing .. so, past butter came to the surface."
You hit it right on the ball P-A...this is exactly what virgos do....
You hit it right on the ball P-A...this is exactly what virgos do....
PA, about the silence... Could it be possible that a sense of exhaustion has set in?
The only metaphor I can think of (when it comes to a virgo and arguing/being emotionally involved) is that it's a lot like trying to put your fist through a sheet of thin rubber. You push and push and push and the rubber stretches and stretches and then, suddenly, you've broken through and all the tension is gone.
I find I'm a lot like that with emotional involvement. I'll commit and talk and discuss and analyze and feel and be engaged... all of it. But then it continues with absolutely no resolution and then *pop* I've crossed over into some other side emotionally and just can't be bothered to deal with it anymore.
The only metaphor I can think of (when it comes to a virgo and arguing/being emotionally involved) is that it's a lot like trying to put your fist through a sheet of thin rubber. You push and push and push and the rubber stretches and stretches and then, suddenly, you've broken through and all the tension is gone.
I find I'm a lot like that with emotional involvement. I'll commit and talk and discuss and analyze and feel and be engaged... all of it. But then it continues with absolutely no resolution and then *pop* I've crossed over into some other side emotionally and just can't be bothered to deal with it anymore.
I'm not sure I'm 100% on board with all these references to the past. In saying that virgos use the past as their primary reference point, you're suggesting that we're all like machines. If there's an algorithm in place, we'll use it. Otherwise, we need to sit quietly for a bit and process a new one. I'm not sure if that's fair much less accurate.
Pisces and the other water signs get a lot of credit for being emotional. I'm sure that's true, but just because those feelings are more on the surface and easily accessible in others doesn't mean that a virgo is any less feeling. I can't begin to tell you how many times I've felt like an emotion is something living and tangible inside of me that I wished I could simply cut out.
I don't know where I read this, but I think it's true. I think virgos feel incredibly powerfully - to the point where their emotion can consume them entirely. That's the reason why we're so loyal to those we love and it's also the reason that we can be so distant. Sometimes the choice is between self-immolation (by being engulfed by feelings) and self-preservation (by figuring out how to get a handle on things).
Pisces and the other water signs get a lot of credit for being emotional. I'm sure that's true, but just because those feelings are more on the surface and easily accessible in others doesn't mean that a virgo is any less feeling. I can't begin to tell you how many times I've felt like an emotion is something living and tangible inside of me that I wished I could simply cut out.
I don't know where I read this, but I think it's true. I think virgos feel incredibly powerfully - to the point where their emotion can consume them entirely. That's the reason why we're so loyal to those we love and it's also the reason that we can be so distant. Sometimes the choice is between self-immolation (by being engulfed by feelings) and self-preservation (by figuring out how to get a handle on things).
"PA, about the silence... Could it be possible that a sense of exhaustion has set in?"
Absolutely and not just with Pisces, also, Cancers .. Scorpio's aren't so bad for Virgo's. But, the other two water signs, are so emotional that it likely becames a tremendous burden. It's so easy to toss away a thought, but, when something is rattling the insides, you can feel the blood surging in the viens .. this can't just be turned off so easily, and this is what happens to us. So, people (not just Virgo's) tire very quickly, their patience runs thin and next thing you know, the two people drift apart.
Sometimes, I think it's just easier for the Virgo to just ignore the Pisces outbursts, because if they participates, then this only serves to enhance the feelings. There's a middle-ground .. and my husband and I found it. We have 'other' marital problems, but, understanding how each other processes mentally & emotionally is not one of those.
Absolutely and not just with Pisces, also, Cancers .. Scorpio's aren't so bad for Virgo's. But, the other two water signs, are so emotional that it likely becames a tremendous burden. It's so easy to toss away a thought, but, when something is rattling the insides, you can feel the blood surging in the viens .. this can't just be turned off so easily, and this is what happens to us. So, people (not just Virgo's) tire very quickly, their patience runs thin and next thing you know, the two people drift apart.
Sometimes, I think it's just easier for the Virgo to just ignore the Pisces outbursts, because if they participates, then this only serves to enhance the feelings. There's a middle-ground .. and my husband and I found it. We have 'other' marital problems, but, understanding how each other processes mentally & emotionally is not one of those.
"Pisces and the other water signs get a lot of credit for being emotional. I'm sure that's true, but just because those feelings are more on the surface and easily accessible in others doesn't mean that a virgo is any less feeling. I can't begin to tell you how many times I've felt like an emotion is something living and tangible inside of me that I wished I could simply cut out."
See, but, the difference here is that the Pisces actually WANTS to continue with the feeling process, whereas, like you said, you wish you could cut it out. When a water person is feeling overwhelmed with an emotion, it energizes us .. we want it to continue. So, in the middle-ground .. the V can tame us down a tad, and we can get them to embrace it a bit longer before toning it down.
See, but, the difference here is that the Pisces actually WANTS to continue with the feeling process, whereas, like you said, you wish you could cut it out. When a water person is feeling overwhelmed with an emotion, it energizes us .. we want it to continue. So, in the middle-ground .. the V can tame us down a tad, and we can get them to embrace it a bit longer before toning it down.
"I don't like to argue for things I don't deem important I just accept the differences and I think they felt the same. Maybe we were just really compatible so no arguments were necessary."
This raises another point, SG .. for each person, what is deemed important is often not the same. There are plenty of things that my husband will stress about, that I simply feel like it's a waste of energy and visa versa .. with us, we've learned over time that it doesn't really matter if it's important to us .. what matters is that it's important to the other person. We rarely argue .. maybe like once every 5 years, and it's because he knows, if something has got my blood pressure up, then it's important to me .. so, he'll stop what he's doing and pay attention and help me with a resolution and I do the same for him.
Now, if we just figure out how to do this with our sex life .. we'd have it made.
This raises another point, SG .. for each person, what is deemed important is often not the same. There are plenty of things that my husband will stress about, that I simply feel like it's a waste of energy and visa versa .. with us, we've learned over time that it doesn't really matter if it's important to us .. what matters is that it's important to the other person. We rarely argue .. maybe like once every 5 years, and it's because he knows, if something has got my blood pressure up, then it's important to me .. so, he'll stop what he's doing and pay attention and help me with a resolution and I do the same for him.
Now, if we just figure out how to do this with our sex life .. we'd have it made.
Oh my! That makes such perfect sense, PA. I had never really understood that before. That really ties in to the pisces I've known who are "feeling junkies" (for lack of a better description). The few pisces I've encountered seem to be constantly looking for some sort of emotional stimulation to give them that sense of being engulfed in feeling.
I've met pisces who were really into anger (constantly seeking situations in which they could portray themselves as victims) and pisces who were really into sex and the excitement of novelty (and I've already mentioned the man in question elsewhere on the forum).
Interesting stuff.
I've met pisces who were really into anger (constantly seeking situations in which they could portray themselves as victims) and pisces who were really into sex and the excitement of novelty (and I've already mentioned the man in question elsewhere on the forum).
Interesting stuff.
I just don't think the V/P combo is a good one. The two can learn to adapt, but, I don't think they fit together naturally. One comes alive with dramatically expressed emotional outbursts, while the other comes alive with intellectual debates and understanding mechanics in all it's forms.
However, from my experience with my husband all these years, we are both very spiritual. He spends an excessive amount of time pondering the universe, what is the meaning of life, why are we here, is there a higher-power, etc. and Pisces are nearly completely plugged into our spiritual existence. This is an area where we both find a lot of harmony together .. a common interest that's very deep.
However, from my experience with my husband all these years, we are both very spiritual. He spends an excessive amount of time pondering the universe, what is the meaning of life, why are we here, is there a higher-power, etc. and Pisces are nearly completely plugged into our spiritual existence. This is an area where we both find a lot of harmony together .. a common interest that's very deep.
Leave Your Feedback
We'd love to hear your thoughts! If you're not logged in, you can still share your feedback below. Your input helps us improve the experience for everyone. To post your own content or join the conversation, please log in or create an account.
Related Topics
I absolutely love food, I would not mind being a chef if I had the qualifications.... I love making food too... ((
@fieryearth
Joined: Nov 27, 2006 · Topics: 139 · Posts: 1914
Are Libras serial daters? Next to Pisces who do not realize when they are cheating, Show me a faithful Libra and I'll
@tiki33
Joined: Aug 31, 2006 · Topics: 40 · Posts: 10616
I talked with this Cancer sun/scorpio moon/pisces rising online for over a year and half. He was in a serious relationsh
@poeticsounds
Joined: May 17, 2007 · Topics: 11 · Posts: 41
I have mentioned before what my aqua bloke did to me. After his trip to Singapore he came back ignoring me and eventuall
@cappygirl
Joined: Apr 25, 2007 · Topics: 2 · Posts: 5
Hi all I need some advice. I'm trying to help a female Aries friend. It's about this Scorpio dude. He has this ma
@boyfromutrecht
Joined: Jun 24, 2006 · Topics: 73 · Posts: 370
When Scorpio is your Rising Sign, it shows that you have very strong determination, together with fixity of purpose, a p
@~devil's_the_name~
Joined: Apr 24, 2007 · Topics: 52 · Posts: 7359
love and peace, fun and excitement for all of you. Good wishes from Fierce.
@Fierce Dravidian
Joined: Apr 04, 2006 · Topics: 158 · Posts: 1092
Can we?Iknow some websites I visted say we are compatible and some say were totall opposites.Virgo's seem to intrigue me
@cherieamour21
Joined: Dec 04, 2005 · Topics: 48 · Posts: 179
Does the love of your life or the one you desire to be with make cry everytime you think of them?I know sometimes I can
@cherieamour21
Joined: Dec 04, 2005 · Topics: 48 · Posts: 179
I know I myself am interested and have good fashion sense, and I've met quite a few other moon in virgos who are either
@TriggerLily
Joined: May 12, 2005 · Topics: 10 · Posts: 172