Can anyone help me out?

This topic was created in the Virgo forum by Mystical on Sunday, April 30, 2006 and has 19 replies.
I really do need some advice regarding a Virgo male. I don't understand him and I've never dealt with Virgos before (he's my first Virgo).
We have become great friends and he calls me regularly. Well, there was a period I didn't hear from him since he suddenly had a girlfriend. Around Easter time the girlfriend dumped him. He feels comfortable talking to me and that's fine.
He called me tonight and seemed to be in a good mood. He's at work now. Then all of sudden he got a little cranky saying I've never met anyone like him before. When I said I know of a few people who are like him he got annoyed. Then he told me something new which really astonished me. He told he's gotten pissed with me when I say I know how he operates since I know people like him and therefore he hadn't taken contact with me for a while before (I was only being honest). Now I don't get this at all. Then all of sudden I lost him on the phone but he didn't hang up either so I did. Then I called him back because I didn't understand what was going on. He told me he'd call back in 2 minutes which he didn't.
I waited over an hour and when I didn't hear from him (because it would have driven me nuts not to find out what was going on) I called him. Turned out he was drinking again. Oh, I feel so sorry for him. I don't know why I should though but I do. I asked him to call me back. He said he couldn't because he was going out. I asked will I hear from him tomorrow. He replied first: "He thought so". Then he said: "Yes, he'd be calling tomorrow". Then I told him (since he's drunk) not to forget me. His reply was: "He doesn't forget anybody".
I guess the reason why he was pissed off had nothing to do with me afterall since it was the alcohol that was talking. Although I know people say how they feel under the influence.
I just had to hear how he sounded since he was annoyed but when I talked to him after I called him he seemed tired and yet he was going out. It such a sad case. I'm glad I'm his friend so he can at least talk to me. I'm learning a lot though. Although I'm not sure if I'm going to hear from him tomorrow though. I think so since he keeps his promises but I don't know.
Questions:
1. Is it true that Virgos get annoyed when it comes to the opposite sex when
they care for you? If this is the case, he's opening up more than I thought.
2. Why should he be annoyed if I know how he is?
3. I've read that Virgos like to be critical of others. I've found with him
getting pissed with me this is him testing me again with being a little
critical. It's the first time. I've also read that Virgos are critical when
they care for you because if they don't they wouldn't bother. I'm I reading
this correctly that now he wants to start criticizing or am I all wrong?
Any comments and answers would be greatly appreciated as I have no idea what has happened. I'm trying to understand him but it's not easy and since I've never dealt with Virgos before, I don't know if this a normal trait of theirs.
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Here are a few basics about the Virgo man...They don't like to be bothered with other people's problems...I don't know why, Its anoying to me too. Second, If you find them to be complex, they think you are too for they anylize everything too much, they are just great thinkers but they do this alot. Too much I think, they tend to be left brain people...people who think with logic rather than emotions...
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Mystical,
"They don't like to be bothered with other people's problems..."
I don't find this to be true of them most of the time. If they want to make time for you to listen they will. However, if they're turned into something/someone else it's almost impossible to distract them from what they are doing. The males and females set priorities and like to stick with them.
I called my mom one day crying because I got fired from my job. She was on her way out the door and told me she'd call me once she got to her destination. I really needed to talk to her THEN but she had other things to do. It's part of their make-up.
Catfish36
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Also..I don't think people like being told "that you've figured them out, or that you KNOW people like them...people like to looked as being "special" or unique"...You know what I mean...
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It wasn't me having a problem at all. This is what I don't understand. What he said was: "You've never met anyone like me before". I replied back: "Yes, I have met people like you before". He said: "Impossible that you could have met anyone like me." I replied back: "Yes, I have met people like you but that was okay because everyone is different.
I wasn't being a problem to him at all. He brought the subject up and from there I don't know what happened.
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What Softy said is especially true for Virgos. I've been around a lot of Virgo men and one thing they won't admit to but love is lots of attention. Besides, you need to pay a lot of attention to them to understand them. Secretly, they want to be adored but can make it hard for you. It's been mentioned on this board repeatedly - they like sublty. They want you to figure them out, just like they are trying to figure you out. It's a game, not a mind game, but more of a challenge; at least in my experience.
Catfish36
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I have no idea how Virgos tick at all. They are a complete mystery to me and not easy to understand at all. He seems to like a lot of attention which is something I have learned. He does try to figure me out also which I think he has to some degree had better luck in figuring me out than I figuring him out. I've tried to figure him out but it's not easy although the way he is reminds of how others I know are (yes, everybody is different). I didn't mean at all to annoy him. We've only known each other since the ending of January so there is still so much more that I don't know so I try to feel my way since he doesn't open up so easy and I don't push him either. He's been getting better but it has taken time. Well, it's a lesson learned but I was only being honest.
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Listen, my Mom is Virgo and she can still shock the hell out of me from time to time.
Catfish36
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Yeah, this Virgo constantly shocks me. Just today he has called me three times which is very much to my amazement.
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I think like all the signs virgo can be easy to figure out once you observe their personality traits, they're general character (likes and dislikes). I believe zodiac signs along with the natal charts (which are VERY IMPORTANT) are used to determine someone's general personality -- give and take biological influences. Once you learn and understands someones general character, it easy to figure them out ... even the complex person can be understood ... at 55% of the time.
Mystical,
It's good that you have him all figured out. It's an accomplishment for a woman when she's finally figure a man WOOOHOOO!! Winking
But never EVEEEEER let him know it. Keep it to yourself, trust me on this Winking
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Cappysweetie,
Yeah, you are right about keeping it to myself. Actually, I've given up trying to figure this guy out anyway. Just one of the mysteries of life. I'm not exactly sure of what to do next so I'm playing it cool and taking a step back. Gonna see what he does next if anything. What I've noticed with this Virgo guy is he always talk down on himself. I try to show him the positive of a situation. Seems like I should just let him talk and not comment anything positive and try to show him to look on the bright side. I just think it's sad how sorry he feels for himself. Anyway, I've learnt a valuable lesson. I wonder though if he's mad at me for being honest. Although now I question how much I have figured him out. Anyway, I'm not going to try anymore.
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Mystical,
Good! Hey I had to take a step back too. My cancer friend has a few issues he's going to have to sort out on his own ... WITHOUT ME. When reality kicks both of them(your virgo and my cancer) in the buttocks long enough, they'll begin to understand many things they were so confused about ... I can just feel it in my bones. Basically, you and I are doing the same exact thing ... letting them bump their heads. Sure we can be there for moral support.
We won't be able to sleep at night if we turn them away LOL! We just have those kind of hearts you know what I mean?
BUT! we shouldn't always "hold their hand", if they always have us to lean on ... they will never grow and be men -- which is what both of them need to do -- yes they do! Honestly, I don't want to to be an "emotional-mind-slave" and I already know you must feel the same way. Well, that's what's going to happen to us if we don't let them fall "flat" on their faces when they make the same mistakes ....Jeeezzz wizzzz, it was hard for me to even make a statement such as that WHOA Sad, but it's the truth, the darn truth Sad
I really need to decrease my heart diameter, it's going to get me in trouble, I just know!
Anyway, gotta get back to work
Byebye for now smile
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Cappysweetie,
Thank you very much for your wise words. You are absolutely right. I just don't get why he should be (if he is which I don't know yet) mad at me. Friends should be able to say things (within reason of course) without the other person taking offensive. I do have to take into consideration he was drunk when he told me he got annoyed with me. I don't get it. I am taking a step back and see what he does. I just can't see everything disappearing just like that. Although I don't exactly know what's going. He's at work now. I'm just a positive person which he knows and I don't understand why it now bothers him. I will curb it though and just let him talk when and if I hear from him again. It's just sad when he feels he's not worthy of anything. I just have to let go. The ball is in his court. When I called him back last night because something went wrong with the phone, his attitude towards me was back to normal. He wasn't annoyed with me like the hour before. Anyway, I'm backing off. I'm going to see what he does next.
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Mystical:
It is so weird how you talk about this guy. The Virgo male I dated had did the same thing. He talked down about himself and I always tried to tell him that he is a good person but the more I did that the more he tried to prove me wrong. I don't get it either. He cares about a lot of people but he doesn't want them to know it. We were out to dinner one night and this waitress that he knew (and didn't like) served us and she was really sweet to me but a b*tch to him. She said he was a jerk and I told her well maybe to you but he has always been nice to me. After I said that he got mad at me for telling her that he is nice. WTF??? I figured out that he likes let people believe he is a jerk for some reason I'm not sure why but that is just the way he is. They change their minds (or reactions) after they have time to think about things for a long, long, long, long, long time.
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Sweethearts 1969:
I totally agree with you. It's so weird. The Virgo guy I'm talking about doesn't want me to see he is a nice person at all. He says he's not worthy of anything, doesn't respect and so much more. He wanted me to know that I've never known a person like him. When I told him that I know a few people like him then all of sudden he says I pissed him off. This is not anything he has said before so I was very much taken aback on the phone. He was drunk the whole time when he was talking though. Maybe he was having a bad day, I don't know. He obviously felt comfortable enough to be a little critical which was the very first time. He says I don't know him at all (he and I have been friends since the ending of January) and maybe he is right. I just don't see what the problem is. I'm sure he's analyzed me to bits and thinks he has me figured out also and I'm not upset. You see, I'm not even sure if he is mad but when I called him back last night, he was back to his same old self (meaning nice) but I could hear he was tired. I'm backing off and letting him make the next move. Maybe there is nothing wrong either and he was just saying something in the moment. I haven't heard from him today and that is fine. Although he told me last night he would call me. Anyway, life does go on and I'm not going to let him get to me. I do, however, think I might be over analyzing the situation way too much also and that more than likely nothing is wrong but I have no idea. If and when I talk to him again, I'll listen to what he says and maybe come with some neutral comments but I won't try to show him the positive side of a situation since it might make him annoyed.
Very strange regarding the Virgo male you dated. It's not easy to understand them. Maybe your Virgo guy doesn't want people to know deep down he's nice. Why that may be I have no idea.
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Mystical:
How did you become friends with your male virgo? I do know that the one I was dating has very few REAL friends and it took those friends years to get to that point that he could really trust them. He knows a lot of people and talks alot of sh*t because he likes to be their entertainment for some reason. He can be very funny too. He always had some wild story to tell about something that happened with someone he knew or about something he saw. The weird thing is that he told me that he doens't really care to be around the people but because of his job he has to deal with them all the time. He said he would rather away from all of the drama but for some reason drama finds him somehow. I noticed that he liked to tell people what HE thought they wanted to hear and not what was really going on. His friends also know that sometimes he will shut the world out for a week and not talke to anyone and won't return anyone's calls when he gets upset about something and then when he comes around he acts like no time has gone by and nothing has changed. His friends are used to it but dating someone like that is extremely hard because you don't know where you stand with them and then you make the decision to force them to answer and when they get backed into a corner and they aren't ready they will stop all contact with you.
Be careful if you decide to date your Virgo male because if he is doing this now to you and you are only friends then you will go completely nuts if you were in a relationship with him. If you stay as a friend then I would advise to get used to it.

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Sweethearts 1969,
The Virgo guy you dated and my Virgo friend are the exact same. Unbelievable. When I've talked to him after a few days break he's told me hasn't been in contact with anyone which I found very strange. He needed to be alone and all sorts of stuff.I would like to go into more detail. Could I send you a PM?
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Mystical:
Yes send me a PM. I have to go run errands but I can check it in a few hours.
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Sweethearts 1969,
I'll send you a PM. Check your mailbox when you get a chance.
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