Cappy girl needs Virgo man advice

A couple weeks ago, a virgo man emailed me on a dating site. We had a great 1 1/2 hr phone conversation. We talked about work, our goals, political views,our history...everything was great. He's extremely intelligent and calm...I am also a deep thinker and controlled...we planned a dinner date last Saturday.

During dinner we had such a great time...very attracted to each other. We're both very analytical and realistic.It's like the awkward "interview" process to "feel the person out" of a typical first date was not even on our radar. I felt very comfortable but also very nervous with him at the same time.... I think he did too. He does not seem like a player at all.

After dinner he drove me to my car and as I was about to get into my car, our walls completely came down and the date turned passionate. I do not like public display of affection, but we did not care if anyone saw us... it was like we became some other people. We were passionately kissing up against my car outside... it was like we were the only ones on this planet. We ended up in his back seat and had a fantastic time, but did NOT have intercourse. He told me I was "all woman" and he wants to see me again. Immediately after the date, he called and left a message to make sure I was okay and that he will call tomorrow and hopes to see me again soon...followed by a text.

I didn't hear back from him the next day, which left me puzzled. I was planning on waiting, but the following day I realized that my expensive leather jacket was missing. I did not want to contact him because I don't want to seem needy, but really wanted that jacket! So I forced myself to text him. He texted back that he found it under the seat of his car and offered to drop it off. I told him I would stop by instead.

When I stopped by, we met outside of his house. The second he saw me his eyes lit up. I could tell he's very attracted to me and felt a genuine energy from him. He again said that he had a great time our date and would like to see me the following week...so almost 2 weeks. He suggested that I could make dinner for him. I joked that I don't cook that often but I would love to give it a shot. The "jacket exchange" was short but sweet. I gave him a quick kiss on the lips and told him to call me... he said okay. Shortly thereafter I texted him that "I make a great tri-tip" and since then I heard NOTHING! It's been 9 days!!! Should I keep waiting for him to call? Should I call? HELP!!!

Posted by pure2simple

... our walls completely came down and the date turned passionate ...

We ended up in his back seat and had a fantastic time ...

He suggested that I could make dinner for him. I joked that I don't cook that often but I would love to give it a shot.

You are very easy. People, for the most part, like to work for what they get.

Perhaps, you should think about that more than what's up with him because you are likely going to find this in most people you try to date.

You need to make yourself a challenge to get, something to work for, something to capture .... when a person is to get, or to bend ... then they are only remarkable when present, when absent so are they from the mind.

Thanks P-angel,

That is what I was worried about. I usually do not behave this way. And I was very graceful during dinner. I regret that I let myself act so impulsive. I really like this guy, so I'm wondering what my next move should be. Is there something I can do to spark his interest again?

If he ever calls you, or you find some way to meet with him again ... then you might get his attention again if you remain aloof.

He obviously is attracted, he's just a little put off ... I'm sure it was your grace that he noticed, work more with that, then your passionate side .. for now.


Maybe you could try going on the dating site where you met him, maybe you can get him to talk to you there. However, don't chase him down .. that is just gives the wrong impression. Give him a poke when you know he's there. If he doesn't respond .. then move on.

So no phone call from me?

Last time we talked (2 mondays ago) he said he wanted to do something later this week or this weekend because he had his kids last weekend. From what I know, virgo men like to wait and over analize. I wonder if that may be the case. I won't go chasing after him... that's not my style ... just wondering if I a phone call trying to confirm a date he suggested would tell me what I need to know...whether he call back or not.

Don't call, please.

All Virgos will perceive your repetitive phone calls as nagging. They hate that. By next week, if he doesn't contact you, tell him you want to pick up your jacket then cut off all ties. Use your Cappy strong will, it'll intrigue him.

He either likes to take it slow... or...
Refer to Section A.

Hi MedullaOblongata,

Thanks for your insight.


Okay, just to clarify...

I already picked up my jacket a couple days after our date. That's when he told me (again) that he wants to see me. That he wants me to come over and we can make dinner together. He said he had the kids over the weekend so he wanted us to get together the following week (which is right now).

In a few days it will be a couple weeks since we saw/spoke to each other... I have not made a single phone call... so no nagging on my part. I am definitely a true Capricorn girl...I can wait and stay cool.

I really think once things cooled down he is evaluating the situation... dating other women... keeping his options open. I'm certain he is attracted to my appearance, my ambition, accomplishments, traditional European values, style ect., but slightly turned off with the makeout session. Probably questioning whether I'm a high quality woman. He knows I've had 2 very long relationships that took me off the dating scene for a very long time, so no serial dater here. But still... being that available right away is never a good idea.

I think you may be right ... I "almost" called twice, but just couldn't bring myself to do it. I've been independent far too long to become a needy little girl after one date. Maybe silence is the only way to make a graceful exit.

Posted by pure2simple

From what I know, virgo men like to wait and over analize. I wonder if that may be the case.

This only happens after the Virgo has made a decision to seriously consider a partner. You two just snogged, and had a few discussions. You haven't captured him yet, to analyze if you're worthy of him.

What you said is true ... but, you're jumping the gun .. a Virgo doesn't pull back to over anyalyze every girl who kisses him for pete's sake ... he only does this when he is serious about developing a relationship.

Just keep it cool, keep it casual, stop the snogging ... and let him get to know you.

Thanks everyone for your advice. It's the only place I'm getting any honest opinion. My friends are trying to make me feel better by saying he's an a-hole, but I think I'm mostly responsible. Yeah I don't really know him well enough to know the entire story, but I had full control of the impression I would leave behind.


Ugh! shame, shame, shame. Suppose I can chalk this up to a very good lesson for next time.

Posted by pure2simple

Thanks everyone for your advice. It's the only place I'm getting any honest opinion. My friends are trying to make me feel better by saying he's an a-hole, but I think I'm mostly responsible. Yeah I don't really know him well enough to know the entire story, but I had full control of the impression I would leave behind.


Ugh! shame, shame, shame. Suppose I can chalk this up to a very good lesson for next time.

Friends are good, but, not good at telling you the truth ... or they wouldn't be friends for long, now would they?

Why are you giving up? You said that the two of you are suppose to try and get together this weekend .. so hope isn't lost.

Just be cool and present yourself according to your words. If you tell him that you aren't the type to approve of DPA, then you can't very well contridict that and expect him to have stable signals from you. That sort of thing is what I'm talking about. Or saying you don't cook, and then cook.


See what I mean? With any person, not just Virgos ... you have to do as you say.


So, have this date this weekend with him, if this is what both of you want to do .. and just make sure you don't give him any mixed signals .... just like I'm sure you would appreciate it if he didn't give you mixed signals.


If you aren't easy, then don't give him that impression ..... give him the impression of the person you are.


Have fun !!!!

Thanks P-Angel,

You're right...not all hope is lost, but he has not called so I guess I'll just have to act like he might (one day) and go on dating other guys. Maybe he'll start wondering why I haven't tried to contact him...maybe he won't. Who knows 😢

But I'm starting to think calling him is not a good idea...no matter how much I want to clarify "my side". It's just my ego at that point..he's too smart and will see right through it.

It's weird... the men I could care less about won't leave me alone, but the ONE guy I see as a "good catch" makes me act like a complete douchebag!

lol, I know ... don't worry, you sound like a fine lady .. where ever he is, whomever he is, he will come along.


And trust me, a Virgo man is a good catch .. I've been married to mine for 28 years, and wouldn't trade him in for even Sean Bean, and everyone knows how much I love that man 😉

Update!

He just texted! Wants to know if I'm free next couple of day 😄 Yipee!!!

Will definitely slow my roll.

Glad I didn't cave... let you know how it goes!!!

Thanks 69 virgo! 🙂

bump for updates 🙂