Confused...

This topic was created in the Virgo forum by littleme on Tuesday, July 7, 2009 and has 6 replies.
Hi, I'm new on this board but I've been reading most of the posts on virgo's personality and it has helped me a lot in understanding the virgo guy I like.
But I've been totally confused by his behavior. I've known him for a couple of years now and we started out as friends but have now become really close friends (almost like best friends) and we often share our more personal thoughts with each other. I know he has feelings for me (although he may not show it in public) and I certainly have feelings for him too butwe have really said anything to each other about that. I guess we just both know that we have a special place in each other's hearts.
What I don't understand and am confused about is that when we started out as regular friends, he would be very nice and pleasant everytime we talked...and usually would just agree with me or give me his advice or stay neutral. And that is exactly how he treats his regular friends now (guy or girls). But now that we are closer and in some ways more intimate although still platonic friends, he becomes critical and is sometimes sarcastic about stuff I talk about. It seems like he used to be "nicer" or at least, does not criticize me as much. And it's weird that the closer we get or the longer and more we know each other, he is just very critical towards me (and sometimes so much so that i feel hurt by it). I know he cares about me and doesn't try to hurt me intentionally. I've heard that virgos only criticize the ones they care about. Is this true? I really don't know what to feel....sometimes I almost feel like I rather be his regular friend because he doesn't criticize them at all and is usually agreeable and pleasant with them. But when we are alone and I start to talk about something, he usually becomes sarcastic or is critical of what I say. I don't know what to think of this....is he doing it out of care and love for me....or is he doing this to let me know that he doesn't want to be around me...I mean, that is how he makes me feel sometimes. The ironic thing is that amongst all this criticizing, I still feel like he likes having me around and still likes my company. I mean, as if seeing each other at work everyday is not enough already....he frequently signs on to IM to chat with me into the late night. He would still do little things for me that shows he cares. Ugh..I just don't understand. Please help
But when we are alone and I start to talk about something, he usually becomes sarcastic or is critical of what I say. I don't know what to think of this....is he doing it out of care and love for me....or is he doing this to let me know that he doesn't want to be around me...

This problem is easy to solve. Check what he says. Afterall he thinks he has something to say to you.
You know my Virgo sister has been critiszing me all her life (ok minus the three first years). I don't like it but I have to think about what she says. She has qualities I do not have. Her critical view helps me see my flaws at times. and if she is wrong then I teach her (because I am arrogant and intelligent as well).
If you cannot listen to what he says and if you are often confused by these feelings of insecurity, then stop dating him. bad chemistry brings desctructive behaviour.
he becomes critical and is sometimes sarcastic about stuff I talk about.

Hehe ??_Don??t worry it is a good sign, means he likes you too just don??t know how to express it because you make him nervous.. Virgo??s mind is very receptive and become extra sensitive when it comes to this kind of affairs then the fear of ???what if I am wrong?? pop in to his mind and in desperate attempt to not loosing you he become sarcastic to vent out his nervousness.
He will apologise later when he calms down, just don??t push it.
For the sake of your beautiful friendship, keep this relationship as platonic as possible until he feel ready to open up first.
Things you should have in your check book when you are dealing with this kind of beast:
- Do not threatening him.
- Do not compromise.
- Don??t give up.
- Be patience.
- Think and act rationally according to your situation with him
- Do not make anyAssumptions??_. The most destructive force in any relationships with Virgos, do not assume either positive or negative and stay as neutral as possible. Know that % 95 of your problems can be solved with direct and honest conversations.

Remember that you already have your place in his mind (this is most important thing which many ignore it, the only way to get to the Virgo??s heart is through his mind).
What I don't understand is how hot and cold they are! It's driving me crazy! I'm constantly going through an emotional roller coaster because of him. I know he likes me, at least I know I have a special place in his heart. And he knows I like him too. I would very much want him to say the words to me...I'm waiting patiently....I don't want to rush or push him. I'm waiting for that moment when he's ready to tell me. But meanwhile, all this hot and cold is driving me nuts! Sometimes he would be very sweet, we would be very close, loves my company, and wants to talking to me on IM everynite into late hours...but now, all of a sudden, he's putting me through this cold, almost freezing phase....He doesn't get on IM....is short on text and doesn't initiate like he used to...answers are short when I talk to him in person....and what makes me sad and unhappy is that I feel like he is purposely staying away from me. In the past 2 years that I've know him, he's put me through a few of these phases and he would always come back to his old warm and caring self. Why do they do this to the people they love and care about? I just don't know how long I can take this.
... In the past 2 years that I've know him, he's put me through a few of these phases and he would always come back to his old warm and caring self.

do you wish to live with him in the same house?
I think your problem is not his mood changes. Everybody has mood changes. Only if they do not live with us, we do not know how to integrate that in our life.
He is extending the dating phase.
This is boring and makes you empty. Human being is goal oriented. Your Virg does not offer any goal. He is living a day-by-day life. This is what people do when they experienced a calamity. Normal people wants to set goals and be motivated and move towards their goals.

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