Engaged to a Virgo man & extremely confused HELP !

This topic was created in the Virgo forum by Mimz on Tuesday, September 4, 2012 and has 62 replies.
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am a libra girl & recently I fell in love with this beautiful Virgo man, it's been 4 months he proposed & we are to marry next month. When I first met him I was so happy to the extent I was so afraid that I will lose him because we started out friends & I hardly agreed to accept that our relationship was more, I told him how frightented I was to be romantically envolved because of a bad previous relationship that really changed my life. Anyhow he assured me he ain't going no where, he is here to stay & if god forbid one of us would choose to break it off it will not be him. It was amazing when it happened, we hung out a lot & he took great care of me, the way he will pay attention to every little detail about my well being & needs is too amazing it made me fall in love with him all over again every time he does it. There is this problem though that I never gave much attention to until now, he is a very quiet man, he is calm & not very talkative. We use to hang out at this " Hokka" ( an Arab smoking pipe) coffe shop/ restaurant, it was how we met actually we both like to smoke that thing.. Well every time we went out he will just sit there & watch T.V, eyes focused on the screen & rarely will he initiate conversation, not only that he barely even looks at me while am sitting there.. To be honest Most of the time he is like that, he avoids eye contact with me which annoys me a lot am a libra & I like to be admired & looked at with appreciation & it kills me that his behavior when am with him is like am not even in the room.. Most of the time when am with him I would really like to talk you know & have a normal conversation with him & when I try he don't seem to respond at all and keeps his eyes on the T.V which discourages me & makes me stop every time my instinct tells me he won't response but I try anyway coz I feel opressed and barried am a libra I love having talks with ppl I love & I love expressing my feelings which leads me to the second problem, he never shows EMOTION !!! Ever!!! The word " I love you" isn't something I hear from him, several times I said it to him & got no answer & there is only silence on the phone ! Why is he like that ?!! We are getting married why won't he tell me he loves me?? I asked him to say it to me once & he changed the subject ! That drove me crazy, confused & made me feel so alone.. I need assurance that am marrying a guy who loves me I've been crying for days coz of his cold & emotionless behavior.
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He is all grown up and he is not going to change. It is good you know all of this now before you get married. Because my opinion is you will feel worse after you do get married because then you will try hard to fix it, to change him, to suffocate yourself, only to get more cold detachment and no demonstrations of affection from him. You are not going to be happier married to him. Please see that you are miserable now, and not getting the kind of husband you want and need. You need someone who can have a conversation with you. You need emotional feedback. It isn't because you are a libra necessarily. I am a Virgo and even I need all of that. Granted I don't need a guy to tell me he loves me that often, but I need everything else you stated: warmth, affection, sweet words, and CONVERSATION!
I don't mean to be so blunt but I have dated aloof men or the strong silent type and you know what, in this day and age, we women do NOT need to get married. We can support ourselves and we don't need men to survive. Those strong silent types were great for back in the day when they pulled thru adversity for the family in harsh conditions of life but NOW, TODAY, men are evolving into being in touch with their feminine energy, learning how to communicate, and women are preferring that more and more.
You have every right to know you deserve the basics of the foundation of a good marriage, and that is COMMUNICATION.
What you are asking for is not some pie in the sky, but the very basics. If you really want to hang on to him, definitely let him know what you feel and see if he can become more communicative. Who knows. He might love you enough to want to make you happy. Bt if you already tried, cried, and he isn't budging, then you have to ask yourself o you want this for the rest of your life? What if you meet someone who is warm and emotionally available to you but you are stuck with this guy as your husband? You will end up hurting him deeply.
I'm sorry you are going thru this. It sounds like whatever decision you make will be painful.
I get along best with Libra men because I am very communicative. But Virgo men are different from women, I guess!
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Also there is another huge problem, it's a sex problem.. We had sex several times although we shouldn't have because we are both from conservative communities & every time it happens I notice he goes straight for the kill, no foreplay smile only little, our longest French kiss lasted hardly 30 seconds :o he is not a very kiss'y person & most of the time he pulls away when I try kissing him if there isn't a chance for sex.. He just says " no baby don't drive me crazy" & literally throws me off of him smile he doesn't show much emotion about his sex drive as well, most guys will show that they are going crazy if they want it & you are not giving any or playing hard to get but for him no isn't acceptable he is bossy that way he will not beg or try harder he will just be firm & take control & gets what he wants His behavior makes me feel e don't love me, at least if he will try kissing me with passion I won't feel that way but he never does, don't understand wrong he is good in sex he makes sure am with him all the way & is caring but I want to Make love to him not have sex ! :s plz tell me wat to do am freaking out there isn't much time before the wedding I haven't told him hw am feeling lately coz somehow I feel that he will not give me the response I need or assures me of his feelings.. His whole behavior made me question why in the work would he want to marry me if he refuses to tell me his feelings towards me plz help am about to destroy our relationship
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Mimz,
Take a big deep breath. Postpone the wedding. Seriously. It is better to disappoint him and everybody else right now, than to go thru with something that you know deep down is TOTALLY wrong for you or you wouldn't here. If you postpone the wedding, people make be surprised but they won't be shocked because too many people rush into marriage. It is easier to get married than to get a divorce, which is proven time and time over that it is painful and traumatic. Do you want to throw all these years away just to please a whole lot of people who are busy with their own lives anyway?
If you both come from conservative backgrounds, all the more should you postpone the wedding indefinitely till you figure everything out. I see huge red flags, doesn't matter if he is a Virgo or not:
1. Cold
2. Emotionally unavailable
3. Unable to bond intimately
4. Lack of consideration for your feelings and emotional needs
I have been there, my friend. I felt ignored, unappreciated, and my feelings completely dishonored. If a man can't give us emotional intimacy, what is the point of being tied to him unto death? That sounds like a torture chamber, if you ask me. We women are not some toy or accessory to be taken out for playtime and put back when they are done.
He has issues. He is not in touch with his feelings. He is not a bad person and he deserves love just like you, but maybe when he is ready to give emotionally, not now. Because he can't.
What you are feeling right and getting, is the picture of your marriage for years and years. You are the one who is suffering, nobody else in that wedding. It also isn't fair to him that you marry him knowing he is this way, and expect him to change. If you postpone the wedding, you are honoring yourself and honoring him as well.
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Thank you guys for the responses i didn't think I will get these helpful views that fast....
Am genuinely considering postponing the wedding as well as taking a break from him to sort my thoughts & feelings, what you are all talking about is easier said than done because I really really love him, & aside from all of this he is very nice... Don't any of you think he might open up with time? Coz that's how I thought about it.. I figured it's either he gets worst or bettering he truly loves me Sad
And you mentioned that I might meet someone who does give me that affection i need & already am starting to see it in one of my friends which I haven't heard of from along time coz actually I feel he is trying to know about things with me and I felt he was shocked am engaged and e was asking me a lot of questions about my current man and Evan asked if he can see him! He asked for a picture and I did show him... But I don't know what that means all I know is I felt that this friend was more affectionate than my boyfriend which really killed me & that's how much am upset Sad is it wrong if am finding my self wanting to get close to this friend which is a libra as me? Is it Wong ? What do u think I should do taking into consideration this friend am not seeing him its only online I need a plan to get my head straight about the whole situation
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Posted by Let*It*Be
"it's been 4 months he proposed & we are to marry next month."

Just imagine if you marry this lump how it's going to be in one year? Why are you here asking us, you should end this relationship immediately. He wants a "wifey-mom" to take care of him..that's it. Now ask yourself are you that insecure to SETTLE with someone who obviously doesn't give a crap about how you feel and what he is lacking? DON'T DO IT!


Omg this sounds so true he wants a wifey mom...
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I wouldn't jump into any other relationship right now. Because you'd only be on the rebound and risk losing your male friend as both a friend and a potential partner. You are still sorting yourself out. And your friend doesn't need to be the casualty of your present drama.
It is good you can see that you need to postpone the wedding first. Once you can see clearly, because love blindsides us, you will know what to do. I am sure your fianc? is a very nice man and has many qualities. But that doesn't mean he has what is required for a health loving long term satisfying marriage. Can people change that easily? After postponing the wedding, be upfront and tell him what you have told us and see if he can change. Change is hard. He can revert back at anytime in the future....
As i said, women don't need to marry men for economic survival the way we did in the past. We marry men to enhance our lives and build something beautiful together. Who will be the be the best candidate for that? Someone warm, loving and shows it for starters.
I was once with a cold man and after being hurt deeply, finally broke up with him. Thankfully it was before he made wedding plans because when I broke up, that was what he told me he had in mind!

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Posted by Virgospirit
I wouldn't jump into any other relationship right now. Because you'd only be on the rebound and risk losing your male friend as both a friend and a potential partner. You are still sorting yourself out. And your friend doesn't need to be the casualty of your present drama.
It is good you can see that you need to postpone the wedding first. Once you can see clearly, because love blindsides us, you will know what to do. I am sure your fianc? is a very nice man and has many qualities. But that doesn't mean he has what is required for a health loving long term satisfying marriage. Can people change that easily? After postponing the wedding, be upfront and tell him what you have told us and see if he can change. Change is hard. He can revert back at anytime in the future....
As i said, women don't need to marry men for economic survival the way we did in the past. We marry men to enhance our lives and build something beautiful together. Who will be the be the best candidate for that? Someone warm, loving and shows it for starters.
I was once with a cold man and after being hurt deeply, finally broke up with him. Thankfully it was before he made wedding plans because when I broke up, that was what he told me he had in mind!




I understand.,. For now I will just postpone everything & clear my head am sure things will reveal after a,sufficient period of time.. I,must be stronger thank you
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Oh. God, we went out last night when he asked to start discussing wedding details and start planning the party & set a date :o I told him since a relative of mine just passed away it would be inappropriate to start planing anything so I told him to postpone for awhile till it appears more respectful... I haven't told him how I felt about him though I didn't have time! That all happened on the phone despite the plan coz when we finally met he was sick ! He had a cold & we just went to the movies he was very critical in the car about why is it dirty :s he said it's a new car it must be cleaner:o than he was starting to fall asleep like a baby when we were in the theatre coz of his cold. He was cuddly & sweet back to normal :s face to face not much conversation happens but am gonna do it when i see him in good shape next time I will start this whole conversation I need to know what he is really thinking before I do anything :o I will update you guys when I doo I hope I get. Through this smile
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Mims, I have a question.
You didn't notice this about him before you got engaged? You were friends before right?
I won't paint all Virgos with a broad brush, but I've known plenty of Virgo men in my lifetime. All of them were cold and had a hard time expressing feelings. That's simply who they are and is unlikely to change. My best friend is a Viro and I've known him for 25 years and he's never expressed deep emotion. Let alone talk about them. That's just their nature. They can't express deep emotion.
Its just my opinion, but I seriously think you should've dated this guy a lot longer. It's obvious he cares for you, but he is no he is. Also, nobody is going to be able to give you the attention want all the time. It's impossible. Try to talk to him about it. It may require postponing the wedding. It'll hurt, but at least you won't make the mistake of marrying someone who may just be a good friend realistically.
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Sorry I mispellled your name. I was thinking of "Mims" the rapper. I apologize.
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lol

this is funny as shit
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Before the engagement I did notice that he was quiet, but I guess our Attraction to each other was so strong I didn't notice his verbal communication about feelings.. we have a bond but I know it can be stronger if he will let me in.. I did believe it will Be a matter of time then he will open up but now when it's getting more realistic with the wedding and all am getting scared what if he closes up more and treats me like a stranger wife! Not a lover... Right now am gonna postpone the wedding & try to know him more & get him to open up... I think there is hope if I didnt think there is I wouldn't have let it last this long.. Because even though he has this coldness in speaking his feelings he has this warmth in his voice everytime he talks to me, it's so hypnotizing I must say like when he says "babyyy" to me on the phone I know if I was infront of him he will give me a hug.. Also when he does Show affection which is very rare it is almost like magic or fireworks coz u know it's miracles coming from him as odd as this may seem like one time he came over my house, we were watching tv he was laying but I sat down to try & see if he can stand it if am away from him coz i surely cant keep my hands of him once I see him coz we both have busy work schedules but what he did is pull me to him and cuddle with me like crazy and where there was a commercial he did the cutest thing where he grabbed my face like a baby and he blabbed something in his language which i didn't understand, maybe one or two words that helped me know he was saying how much of a cute girl i'am :o see its sometimes like this & sometimes very yay cold :s but I get it now not wedding Moore dating
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Posted by Mimz
I like to be admired




lol
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Posted by Mimz
... why in the work would he want to marry me if he refuses to tell me his feelings towards me




hahahahaha
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P-Angel,
Why is it necessary to be so rude?
Mimz,
I truly hope you postpone your wedding. NO ONE should ever enter matrimony with this much doubt. It's absurd.
As for your relationship with a Virgo, strictly speaking astrology, they might not be the best fit for Libras. Libras want more adoration than Virgos could ever give, that's the root of the problem. You will not be able to handle their coldness. Take your time and just really REALLY think about all of this before you make a huge mistake.
They don't change all that much even if they truly love you.
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Posted by Nebulous_Cloud9
P-Angel,
Why is it necessary to be so rude?
Mimz,
I truly hope you postpone your wedding. NO ONE should ever enter matrimony with this much doubt. It's absurd.
As for your relationship with a Virgo, strictly speaking astrology, they might not be the best fit for Libras. Libras want more adoration than Virgos could ever give, that's the root of the problem. You will not be able to handle their coldness. Take your time and just really REALLY think about all of this before you make a huge mistake.
They don't change all that much even if they truly love you.


^^^ what she said.
Also,been with a couple of Libras and all ican say it, dont do it.
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Posted by Nebulous_Cloud9
P-Angel,
Why is it necessary to be so rude?
Mimz,
I truly hope you postpone your wedding. NO ONE should ever enter matrimony with this much doubt. It's absurd.
As for your relationship with a Virgo, strictly speaking astrology, they might not be the best fit for Libras. Libras want more adoration than Virgos could ever give, that's the root of the problem. You will not be able to handle their coldness. Take your time and just really REALLY think about all of this before you make a huge mistake.
They don't change all that much even if they truly love you.


Ditto
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Posted by Mimz
... it's been 4 months he proposed & we are to marry next month.




then you proceed to describe to us that you don't even know him ... and then get your panties up your ass because you cannot understand why you two don't understand each other if you are to be married.

That's fucking hilarious and doesn't get much more ignorant than that !!!
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How long did you know your gemini before he started beating your ass P-Angel, and how long did you know your Virgo husband that now makes you so completely miserable that you stalk the virgo boards and hate all Virgos?
Mimz, I would postpone it, no one says you have to get married today or tomorrow.
There is not written rule on how long you have to know someone to get married...
If you are seeing signs though, I would pause for a second... Ask yourself
Are these things that he is doing something you can live with for the REST of your life... and then go from there.
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Posted by GodMadeBeauty
How long did you know your gemini before he started beating your ass P-Angel, and how long did you know your Virgo husband that now makes you so completely miserable that you stalk the virgo boards and hate all Virgos?



what does her personal situation have to do with the OP?
troll
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on a side note, this whole thing is so funny that it's sad. with that said, the OP mentioned that she comes from a "conservative" community and English doesn't appear to be her first language...or it is and she's not too bright, so it'd be interesting to know what nationality these two are and/or what country they currently reside.
by American standards (for the most part), 4 months does seem a bit nuts, but maybe the situation shouldn't be judged from an American cultural perspective.
also, how old is the OP and the virgo? maybe she sounds naive and foolish because she is naive and foolish by virtue of age?
i also find it funny that all it took was someone on the internet...DXP at that, to tell her that she should postpone it and she quickly agreed. i mean really!?!?! no hesitation whatsoever and if it's that easy to change one's mind then wow, seriously, do NOT get married.
but hey, she's a libra and their need to partner outweighs reason so mazel tov!
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Posted by caligula
Posted by GodMadeBeauty
How long did you know your gemini before he started beating your ass P-Angel, and how long did you know your Virgo husband that now makes you so completely miserable that you stalk the virgo boards and hate all Virgos?



what does her personal situation have to do with the OP?
troll
click to expand


I was just simply asking P-Angel how long she knew her failures, since she is so quick to judge this OP based off of her life decisions.
Why are you so worried about me saying shit about P-Angel? Co-signer much? but I'm the TROLL. Right.
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There is nothing funny about naivety, ignorance, or the likes.
If you feel that much more brilliant then channel it positively. God knows how many people out there could use some perspective and help in their lives!
Whatever her reason is for getting into this situation, who cares? Why should it matter what her race, age, cultural background is? Emotional needs are universal. She is clearly in love with a man who cannot provide her with the kinds of affection she needs to feel safe, secure, and loved.
She's not asking for your emotional reaction to her problem, she's asking for "HELP." If you can't contribute to the request, then what's the harm in walking away? Why feel compelled to be such a b*tch about it.
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yeah actually, you are.
why does a post about this individual need to turn to personal attacks about another? cause you don't like her? fuck your feelings and stay on topic coke whore.

oh and btw, when someone posts a topic and asks for an opinion, they're asking to be judged. thus, your comments should be directed to the bitch who originally posted and not at another individual who doesn't give a damn about you.
and why am i replying? well, given you like to dig in other people's asses, i thought i'd show you mine.
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Posted by Nebulous_Cloud9
There is nothing funny about naivety, ignorance, or the likes.
If you feel that much more brilliant then channel it positively. God knows how many people out there could use some perspective and help in their lives!
Whatever her reason is for getting into this situation, who cares? Why should it matter what her race, age, cultural background is? Emotional needs are universal. She is clearly in love with a man who cannot provide her with the kinds of affection she needs to feel safe, secure, and loved.
She's not asking for your emotional reaction to her problem, she's asking for "HELP." If you can't contribute to the request, then what's the harm in walking away? Why feel compelled to be such a b*tch about it.



she did "help" her.
and she's allow to "help" her and do so emotionally. she's a pisces after all Tongue
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Caligula,
There is nothing helpful in "laughing" at someone's poor choices. What she did is not called "help," it's called "insulting."
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Posted by caligula
yeah actually, you are.
why does a post about this individual need to turn to personal attacks about another? cause you don't like her? fuck your feelings and stay on topic coke whore.

oh and btw, when someone posts a topic and asks for an opinion, they're asking to be judged. thus, your comments should be directed to the bitch who originally posted and not at another individual who doesn't give a damn about you.
and why am i replying? well, given you like to dig in other people's asses, i thought i'd show you mine.


Why does a person continuously go on posts and personally attack people specifically in the Virgo Forum? If you purposefully attack people and point out flaws in them to feel better about yourself then you are asking for your flaws to be pointed out as well..
My comments were also directed to the OP but you are so far up P-Angels ass you failed to see that part of my post.
Anywho, I searched around and I don't see anywhere that it says I have to stay on topic and not say WHATEVER I WANT... SO Fuck YOUR feelings, and I will continue commenting on whatever the fuck i want with WHATEVER I want.
and as far as you replying, and so called showing your ass -- I GIVES A FUCK... *claps hand* Round of applause for you. I already knew at some point after all the posts I have made calling P-Angel out when she attacks people (90% of the time spewing out bullshit) you would come out and say something because its been stated more than once that you clearly feel you have some moral obligation to play captain save a BITCH, for her.
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let me know when you find that corn i ate yesterday. i think it's leaving me a bit constipated.
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Posted by Nebulous_Cloud9
Caligula,
There is nothing helpful in "laughing" at someone's poor choices. What she did is not called "help," it's called "insulting."




seriously?
you laugh at people who make poor choices all the fucking time. we all do it, but hey, your head is where?
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Caligula,
Okay, this is the kind of emotional reaction I feel pity for.
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you feel pity, others finds it funny...big whoop!
to go from a difference of opinion to some cracked out trailer trash whore trolling another user is the only thing i find unnecessary.
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To the OP:
Its not that you are wrong and he is right or he is wrong and you are right. Its just that you two are different from each other. You two behave differently and want other person to behave differently too. You know yourself well that what you feel, what you want, what you think etc. Now you need to know what he feel, want and think if you're really serious about him.
First, Virgos express their love in words very rarely. They show it through their actions; by caring for you, by doing little things for you even without asking and by going beyond their ways for you in the time of need. I think, they are better than those people who are masters of words, flatter you with their magical tongue to the extent that you feel like a queen, make claims that they will bring stars & moon for you but in the time of need they just disappear from the face of worth. I have experienced through life that there are two types of people: one who say much and others who do much. And most of the Virgos I know belong to the second group.
Second, Virgos are loners and enjoy their own company. There is another world inside their minds and they don't let someone enter in this world that easily. First they will test you and if they feel that you deserve, only then they will let you enter in this world. They bottle up their feeling and open to someone gradually and slowly. I have read somewhere that it's often difficult for a Virgo to really be 'married' in any deep sense of the word. There's a quality about the Virgo which is psychologically untouchable, and if you try to invade it you get the same reaction as if you tried physical rape. Most of the Virgos don't like to ???gossip?? that much, they like to ???discuss??. It has been said that one key way to make a Virgo love you is to stimulate him on an intellectual level. For instance when he is watching TV you consider TV as a barrier between you and him but tactfully you can make it a tool for bonding between you two. Say something thought provoking about what he is watching that make him think and serve as in initial point of conservation. Mercury is the ruling planet of Virgo and Venus is the ruling planet of Libra. One is the planet of mind and the other is the planet of love. But I don't think this will take you two apart from each other as love is not just body, the deeper love is in mind. Connect him on the mental level and the love you'll get from him in return will be deeper.
Good Luck smile
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Why are you people fighting?! For the people who were speaking within topic respectfully Thaaank you Winking also I appreciate you defending me, my cultural background & my not so "bright" perspective as it has been said by don't know whoo... & for the person who said that let me assure you that your way of speech regarding this whole turn in the topic ain't so bright either ! Moreover yes English is not my native language, I speak four languages, I have no special education certificates & I learned English by simply watching T.V Its a very easy languagesmile also I copy accents like a parrot & I can make u believe am British royalty with one call mmm and am only 20 years old ; ) and if you would like more Data to "judge" me more next year I will be graduating with a bachelor in Marketing & event management.. And am working full time while doing it 8 hours a day... I guess by my standards considering my age I do believe am way brighter than youLaughing about the naive part let me tell everyone on earth is naive at one point or another in matters of the heart that's why we people ask for help !
& for the last post thank you very much you've been the most helpful
Keep peace people
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Posted by itsnoteasybeingavirgo
Its not that you are wrong and he is right or he is wrong and you are right. Its just that you two are different from each other. You two behave differently and want other person to behave differently too.




I think it's funny as hell that a person has to be told that they are different from another, even after writing a whole thread describing it themselves.
It's like .. yesterday she was hatched and tomorrow she lays her own eggs without any life-experience of being around other people inbetween.
So, here you are living a life where you aren't compatible with another person and a stranger has to tell you this .... because? You just hatched, and have never had any interactions with other people?

lol
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Posted by caligula
yeah actually, you are.
why does a post about this individual need to turn to personal attacks about another? cause you don't like her? fuck your feelings and stay on topic coke whore.

oh and btw, when someone posts a topic and asks for an opinion, they're asking to be judged. thus, your comments should be directed to the bitch who originally posted and not at another individual who doesn't give a damn about you.
and why am i replying? well, given you like to dig in other people's asses, i thought i'd show you mine.


This P-Angel character had it coming, there's something seriously wrong with her. From spamming threads to just being nasty.
Another thing, your language really says a lot about you.
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Posted by caligula
let me know when you find that corn i ate yesterday. i think it's leaving me a bit constipated.


No corn, but you sure are full of shit.
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Virgos are just cautious about showing emotions -- you have to get them to trust you to break that barrier.
We aren't going to just spew out our feelings if we are unsure of yours or if they are sincere.
Mimz, you are young and although I commend you for the education and things you have accomplished so far, I think that you should definitely give it sometime.
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Okkk well last night I was with him & I remembered everything I loved when I first met him, that's the Thing I believe I feel safe when am with him & I do understand now his nature. He is full of actions not full of air like some of you said, he won't speak about feelings often true but he does do things that show his affection & love towards me. Yesterday I put him in a test, I needed to see how far he will go to please me & if He will do things for me if I wanted coz even though he is mine am shy to ask for things so what I did is call him straight after his shift at work finishes & told him that I fancy pizza :0 from a particular brand & a certain branch as well not from just any branch of the brand .. There was still two hours left for me to finish work so he told me "it will get cold if I bring it to u now why don't u finish & we will go drive together"Laughing & I liked that !! We went & I wanted to be more demanding so told him that I don't feel like getting out of car & asked him to go alone & bring it :o he said Okkk but really wanted me with him smile we had lots of fun even afterwards he was joining forces with my mother coz I let the house door open & a cat got locked in he called her just to tease me also when I got home I found that the cat was still there coz she came out from under my bed ! So called him again !!! Asked him to come get the cat out coz she was hiding I don't know where so he left his friends again drove all the way back to my house & had super fun trying to find & get that cat out ! And got a little naughty afterwords so I can gladly say that I do connect & have fun with him.. Also my friend which turned out to be married to his cousin told me that when her husband was out with the guys the day after we got engaged my virgo came & told that he proposed with a wide smile on his faceLaughing
That being said all I need to do is date him more & get to know him even more because I have to spend more time getting use to his behavior.. His mysterious face does Exicte me to explore him sooo I will see what will win horoscopes or love :o knowing what ur dealing with does make u smarter so now that I know his description I can be smarter in making it work
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Posted by Mimz
Why are you people fighting?! For the people who were speaking within topic respectfully Thaaank you Winking also I appreciate you defending me, my cultural background & my not so "bright" perspective as it has been said by don't know whoo... & for the person who said that let me assure you that your way of speech regarding this whole turn in the topic ain't so bright either ! Moreover yes English is not my native language, I speak four languages, I have no special education certificates & I learned English by simply watching T.V Its a very easy languagesmile also I copy accents like a parrot & I can make u believe am British royalty with one call mmm and am only 20 years old ; ) and if you would like more Data to "judge" me more next year I will be graduating with a bachelor in Marketing & event management.. And am working full time while doing it 8 hours a day... I guess by my standards considering my age I do believe am way brighter than youLaughing about the naive part let me tell everyone on earth is naive at one point or another in matters of the heart that's why we people ask for help !
& for the last post thank you very much you've been the most helpful
Keep peace people



yeah, but you didn't answer my question.
what nationality are you and he?
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Yes, listen to what people tell you ... whatever you do, don't try to think it for yourself.

Just because you know he isn't treating you right is no indication whatsoever .. you are never suppose to put two and two together to ever realize that his actions aren't matching his words .. no, no, no, don't do that.
Instead, you are suppose to ask someone else .. random people.

If you don't hear people tell you to wait for marriage, then that means you're suppose to marry him no matter what he does, no matter how he treats you.
so, listen very closely here .... we certainly want to make sure that you do what you're told.

And again, I implore you .... don't think this for yourself. Don't wiegh out the options and don't weight out with any logic or reasoning (because everyone was dead wrong when they say that Libras are thinkers) .... just listen to what people tell you, especially strangers.
Oh, one more thing, don't ask any people who actually know you .. just random people on the internet.

Ok, you're all set .... now obey
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Caligula,
Why does she have to answer to the likes of you? So that you can use it to give her some of your amazing assistance and advice?
You're ridiculous and worst than P_Angel, immature.
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stupidshit,
did you read where i asked the fucking question or is your head still where your username indicates?
she hardly knows the guy and from an American cultural perspective that's nuts. knowing her cultural background puts her situation in context and without that context, you're doing exactly what you claimed to hate..."judging," but doing so unfairly.
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An American cultural perspective? What a JOKE! You clearly know nothing about American marital stats.
She's not here to ask you to judge her problem based off of cultural or ethnic backgrounds. She clearly stated that she has emotional needs that he is not providing and wants some perspective. Comment on the situation, not the person. In simple terms, she wants you to "JUDGE" her emotional dilemma. Get it? That's the request.
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god are you dense or what?
yes, it's very common for folks to get married in 4 months of knowing each other in the US. show me that stat...please do. besides, who the fuck is talking to you twit?
also, the person defines the fucking situation. what if she was 16? what if he was 70? details matter.

your problem is you choose to comment without knowing a god damn thing about the person and with limited details about the fucking situation. that's what makes YOU an asshole and any advice you might give a crock of shit.
done playing this game with you as i asked HER a question. she can choose to answer it or she can choose not to. at the end of the day, don't give a fuck especially considering she's already said she's calling it off.
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Posted by Nebulous_Cloud9
An American cultural perspective? What a JOKE! You clearly know nothing about American marital stats.
She's not here to ask you to judge her problem based off of cultural or ethnic backgrounds. She clearly stated that she has emotional needs that he is not providing and wants some perspective. Comment on the situation, not the person. In simple terms, she wants you to "JUDGE" her emotional dilemma. Get it? That's the request.


Exactly :o I need help with my emotional dilemma, he is a Virgo & he meets the exact detailed boring description I have read about virgos which say they are emptionaly cold.. Am a libra & am the opposite!! The question on my head was to know if he loved me endlessly behind his firm & very well put together self ! I know he does because it's a loooove attachment not arranged or any of the sort as many of you were thinking which justifies the need to know my ethnic & cultural background ! I simply need assurance that virgos do love deeply even though they won't show it that's what I need to know.. I got scared yes coz his behavior & his controlled self makes me feel he is miles away sometimes & I begin to feel insecure specially since we are getting married !! I need to know will he learn to show emotion more with time? Will he get more comfortable to speak his mind without the fear I will criticize him !? Coz by now I know for sure he is like that, I know that he won't tell me which is his favorite soccer team ! Because in my country guys are mad about soccer & it's a battle between Barcelona & real Madrid and its so ridicules & silly in my opinion because sure I ain't Spanish nor are they ! Support your own country ehehe foools I didn't know he watches soccer until he told me to turn the channel on the game. He answered with a smile when I asked him who was playing ! ;p that's the weird behavior am talking about will hee relax & trust me more with time coz I do believe he just needs more time to get use to me & loosen up without trying to hide his true nature
Now am not calling anything off am just postponing there is a difference !
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OMG What a read! uhh! some people struggle to be compassionately constructive I see and seem to enjoy it....
Ok what im seeing is serious red flags and I am meaning SERIOUS, To be considering such a serious commitment after such a short space in time shows extreme lack of psychological development, why want the commitment when there is so little you know about each other and so much to learn, sounds like control, also the indifference towards you, you should be both feeling infatuated, feeling the rush, the fun of a new relationship, theres no empathy or concern for your feelings, lack of communication and emotional bonding, I could be totally wrong but I am sensing underlying deep rooted issues, the relationship blue prints dont look healthy on both parts, you definately need to listen to what everyone has to say and slow right down, Now if he genuinely loves you, which i would be surprised if that is the purest form of love at this point in time ( without truly knowing each other fully and lack of true intimacy, true love is not possible, really!) he will wait also and respect your wishes, now if its something toxic (Im thinking it is :/) then he will show impatience, insecurity, anger, manipulation.
You should only marry if its the purest of love, true love, true acceptance of each other and a whole lot more, its timeless.
read up on the internet and get knowledgeable about healthy and unhealthy relationships, what red flags to look out for, the knowledge will empower you through self growth and enable you to make the right choices, increase your self worth, I am picking up this guy determines your happiness, you determine your happiness no one else...
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.. None of what I am saying is meant to belittle what you have or you as a person, like some of the other comments, I feel sad that people show such little compassion and disrespect to others feelings, but to facilate you in learning to enable you to make the right choices for yourself, I guess it all contributes towards a learning process though.
Look not all but ALOT of abusive people push for early commitment as a way of wanting control due to deep rooted insecurities, think about it, Pure love has no fear, theres no rush, theres faith and if its meant to be it will find a way.
Goodluck smile
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... Also read more into relationships, healthy unhealthy more so than astrology, develop your intelligences ie: emotional, psychological, spiritual, it will help you much more, see what behaviour traits you can pick up from these, they are important.
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Posted by Mimz

The question on my head was to know if he loved me endlessly behind his firm & very well put together self ! I know he does because it's a loooove attachment not arranged or any of the sort as many of you were thinking which justifies the need to know my ethnic & cultural background ! I simply need assurance that virgos do love deeply even though they won't show it that's what I need to know..
I got scared yes coz his behavior & his controlled self makes me feel he is miles away sometimes & I begin to feel insecure specially since we are getting married !! I need to know will he learn to show emotion more with time?




You're so fucking stupid, it just makes it nearly impossible to answer a question ... how is anyone suppose to know that you will actually get the answer, since you obviously don't "get" that he isn't endlessly in love with you?
NO is your answer ... Virgos don't love deeply if they don't show it.
Seriously .. someone has to (tell) you that?
If a person shows (acts) like they aren't in love with you, then they aren't ... what is so difficult to get about that? A person learns at around age 3 or 4 that people who love you = show you they love you. A child gets it.

What the fuck is your problem?
His behaviour is miles away because he doesn't love you ... and yet, you know this, you are here saying it, and you are so thick headed that you will continue to say .. "we're getting married" ... totally oblivious to any reality present in your situation.
I swear ... people are so fucking dense. You're not alone, there are millions of you out there ... dumb as fuck
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