Everything's Great, but the SEX SUCKS

What would you do if you were in a relationship with someone and they were everything you ever wanted and more, but the sex sucked?

I'm torn.

I care about the guy I'm with. He's wonderful in every way. He's also very giving in bed. But the sex with him just doesn't do it for me.

This wouldn't matter if I were willing to go outside of my relationship or if sex were less important to me. But I don't even see the point of being IN a relationship if there's no sex. But there IS sex. It. Just. Sucks.

What would you do?

i'll bite...

what sucks so bad about it? maybe your Venus and Mars clash...or somethng else in your chart.

but then again maybe you 2 just dont click.

Well, there's basic "physical incompatibilites" that I don't think can be helped, there's um, style s which don't work between us, I tend to need more than he does, and yeah, I guess in a way we just don't "click." But he's a great guy and we get along in every other way. 😢

I love him, he loves me, and now he's talking marriage. Which would be a definite "YES" except I don't know if I can live the rest of my life unsatisfied sexually. I could deal with it if we were already together and that part of our lives was at least "good" and something happened that made it impossible for him to perform(like G*d forbid an accident). But he *can* perform. It just isn't good for me.

Oh, and as far as Astrological compatibilites:
His sun - Cancer My sun - Virgo
His moon - Sagitarius My moon - Aries
His Venus - Virgo My Venus - Virgo
His Mars - Taurus My Mars - Gemini

DON'T DO IT.

No matter how great he is, its sounding like a satisfying sex life is a "MUST HAVE" for you. Never compromise on that. I was with a virgo that wasn't bringing the same "must have" to the table. I was torn but letting go was the best thing to do. All that will happen is that you will in time resent him for not "being enough" and he will resent you for "pressuring him" or "needing too much". The fact that you love each other only makes it worse because no one will want to pull the plug.

PULL IT NOW. Save yourself (and him) before you end up in a spiral of resentment and very deep hurt, rejection, and possible betrayal (either of you is likely to cheat should this escalate.....you to get what you need, he to be with someone for whom he is "enough"....TRUST ME...this has red flags all over it and could get Ugly!

YIKES!

Thank you CancerLA for that bucket of ice cold water.
Seriously.

I had never even thought about a satisfying sex life being a "must" for me, but now that you mention it. I think it is. About the possible infidelity: you're right about that too. I have no qualms about being 100% faithful no matter what is going on although I probably WOULD end up resening him(our sex life) and he is VERY sensitive so I could see how bad it would hurt him and that he COULD end up being unfaithful to make himself feel better. And I can't say I would blame him.

This is even worse than I thought. Because I DO love him. Dearly. And I would NEVER do anything to hurt him I also know that if I try to end things with him over it, that will hurt him terribly and he'll do ANYTHING to make it work cuz he's just generous like that. 😢

This is heartbreaking. 😢

sex toys out of the question? if it's that bad, get creative! there are tons of options, a multimillion dollar industry is there to serve you.

I'm a female virgo with a male leo, yes the sex sucks big time, and wow I can't wait till I get away...I have had better and can't seem to forget that.

MercInAries is quite correct. Your Mars placements...are clashing in the bedroom.

"When Venus or Mars is in Gemini, use words in bed with them. Talk turns them on, and they love to kiss! Oral pleasures are extra special for these lovers. They love role-playing, as long as it is varied. To you, an intellectual conversation may interrupt lovemaking, but to them, it's just extended foreplay."

"When Venus or Mars is in Taurus, the sexual nature involves all of the senses. Touch and smell are supremely important to these lovers. These are the most physical of sexual partners. No frills sex is quite fine, as long as the mood is right and there is plenty of physical contact. These lovers don't have a reputation for spontaneity or variety. Although generally patient, their style is natural and physical, and intellectualizing the sex act would only serve to baffle Taurus."

I think your Mars in Taurus man is indeed baffled. I don't know if it should be so doom and gloom quite yet. Try to teach the guy first. (He seems to have the capacity to really "go the distance" if that helps 🙂 )

Above quotes from http://www.cafeastrology.com/articles/sexualastrology.html<BR>

"To you, an intellectual conversation may interrupt lovemaking, but to them, it's just extended foreplay."

Hmm that sentence is confusing. "Them" is Mars in Gemini people..."you" is everyone else I guess.

Bottom line seems to be that Mars in Gemini appreciates plenty of variety and "intellectualizing" the act, while Mars in Taurus could really care less about these things. Mars in Taurus seems to "just" want to get it on. Wham bam, like the bull. Mars in Gemini is so very different (signs that are right next to each other in the zodiac are NOT alike).

Tell him to talk to you (start slow, like just saying your name)... and kiss more. Try role-playing. This is not an impossible hurdle imo, especially since you say he is rather willing to please.

MIA...(and a fellow Mars in Gemini)

I guess there's all kinds of Virgos.

Sex was never a prob in my relationships - I mean if anything - I wanted it less and they wanted it more - (I still liked it alot just not as often as they'd anticipated - and since I worked alot otherwise this seemed to be an issue over time) My sun is Cap, Moon is Virgo, Venus is Cap and my Mars is Aquarius and you're right lovethatvirgoman - all signs are different 🙂