Posted by soultalk
Because you guys had an arrangement and he doesn't get what hit you. He thinks that is what you both wanted and so he can't digest it. And yes, he is taking it personally in the typical virgo way and not able to accept it. So if you have started having feelings for him does he know? Do you want to get into a relationship? and have discussed it with him. Maybe he wants it too?
Posted by VirgoChyld
Explain to him again why and do it in a way that you mean business. Be firm, direct and don't go back on what you say.
Posted by sunnydiamond
..... he and I will go out to dinner and movies and HE pays for it.
Posted by P-AngelPosted by VirgoChyld
Explain to him again why and do it in a way that you mean business. Be firm, direct and don't go back on what you say.
Why should a person HAVE to do that?
Virgos go on and on and on and on in here, and probably in RL, about how they choose their emotions, and how it's their decision to go cold on someone and nobody should have the audacity to question them.
But, then if the other person decides they don't want the Virgo ... then the Virgo cannot tolerate the other wanting to exercise their own standards?
seriously?
How fucked up !!!!click to expand
Posted by sunnydiamond
We never had a friendship before the sex, it kind of formed while being intimate.
Posted by sunnydiamond
He's taking it SO personally that I don't want to be friends with him, when I'm just pulling myself out of a situation to try and save the friendship in the long run before I grow to resent him in our FWB situation.click to expand
Posted by TaurusBull1977Posted by sunnydiamond
We never had a friendship before the sex, it kind of formed while being intimate.
The initial arrangement was a FWB. There was never an initial friendship.
Posted by sunnydiamond
He's taking it SO personally that I don't want to be friends with him, when I'm just pulling myself out of a situation to try and save the friendship in the long run before I grow to resent him in our FWB situation.
What are you attempting to save? There was never an initial friendship.click to expand
Posted by sunnydiamond
@mfwb55
I rationally explained to him in many ways that I need to move on.
Posted by sunnydiamond
Found myself getting attached and we were seeing each other less frequently, so I told him goodbye because I know he doesn't want a relationship. Completely rational, right?click to expand
Posted by sunnydiamond
Because when a man tells you several times he doesn't want a relationship, you believe him.
Posted by sunnydiamondPosted by TaurusBull1977Posted by sunnydiamond
We never had a friendship before the sex, it kind of formed while being intimate.
The initial arrangement was a FWB. There was never an initial friendship.
Posted by sunnydiamond
He's taking it SO personally that I don't want to be friends with him, when I'm just pulling myself out of a situation to try and save the friendship in the long run before I grow to resent him in our FWB situation.
What are you attempting to save? There was never an initial friendship.
Right..and I told him that. But to him, we apparently have an important friendship.
& @PAngel, I have also paid for him when we go out, not just him.
Someone on here made a point that Virgos like to control the way things go, which made me realize I threw him for a loop when I decided to cut things off. I don't think the "friendship" is important to him, I'm just hurting his ego. C'est la vie.click to expand
Posted by sunnydiamond
@LetitB If you read my post entirely, you can see that I chose to take myself away from the situation. I'm well aware of the FWB rules and he and I will go out to dinner and movies and HE pays for it. *GASP* so that makes me an escort, right? I guess it's a step up from being a prostitute.
Posted by sunnydiamond
Because when a man tells you several times he doesn't want a relationship, you believe him.
Posted by Shescomeundone
Can FWB become something more? I think anytime your intimate with someone more than a couple times the possibility is very real... Having sex creates hormones for us women that make us want you men... Otherwise we would be disgusted by you! LMAO!
Posted by trashedbliss
First HELLO FELLOW SOUTH FLORIDIAN!!!
Second - whether he wants to admit it or not, he got attached to you. If you want to be with him then I would meet him in person and discuss what you want and why you feel it would or wouldnt work. Being a Virgo he may become distant to digest how he feels but if he wants you he will be back relatively quickly.
I can assume thats the case 1. because I am a Virgo and 2. I have typical Virgo male friends where your story sounds very familiar. They try to close themselves off but they fall and when they do they fall HARD. But dont settle. If its NOT for you then tell him so and cut ties.
Posted by sunnydiamond
We've reconnected after he called me relentlessly to talk it out. He still doesn't want a commitment, mainly because he was really hurt in his last relationship (which I may have forgotten to add, ended shortly before him and I started seeing each other) and he's in the middle of possibly making a big career change...but he's been really consistent, more affectionate, and says "i love you" to me, even though I haven't said it back (Not because I'm trying to be mean, but just being cautious of if he really means it or just trying to humor me)
It's a little confusing but I'm much happier and just taking it day by day. Oh, & I finally got around to his natal chart...
Posted by sunnydiamond
He still doesn't want a commitment, mainly because he was really hurt in his last relationship ....
kquote>Posted by sunnydiamond
...but he's been really consistent, more affectionate, and says "i love you" to me, even though I haven't said it back (Not because I'm trying to be mean, but just being cautious of if he really means it or just trying to humor me)
Posted by sunnydiamond
... I'm much happier and just taking it day by day ....
click to expand
Posted by virgodreamz
The original post doesn't show me any example of virgo sensitivity. For myself I just see a guy who really really wants to have sex with no strings.
Posted by Sag89Posted by virgodreamz
The original post doesn't show me any example of virgo sensitivity. For myself I just see a guy who really really wants to have sex with no strings.
No strings? Sounds like there are strings since he's trying to manipulate her into not leaving. He just should just cut his losses n find someone else if he is so "unattached" that is what real unattached sex is.click to expand
Posted by virgodreamz
If he was really concerned and sensitive to her needs he would want her to be happy .....
Posted by P-Angel
And people think Pisces are in la-la-land ... I guarantee you, Pisces may be incredible dreamers and fantasizers, but, we might be the only sun sign, as a whole, who comprehends that we are actually living in reality.
Posted by virgodreamzPosted by Sag89Posted by virgodreamz
The original post doesn't show me any example of virgo sensitivity. For myself I just see a guy who really really wants to have sex with no strings.
No strings? Sounds like there are strings since he's trying to manipulate her into not leaving. He just should just cut his losses n find someone else if he is so "unattached" that is what real unattached sex is.
When I say no strings I'm referring to no commitment and no relationship. Him trying to "manipulate" her into not leaving looks to me as if he wants to continue to have commitment free sex and not because he feels hurt that she wants to move on. If he was really concerned and sensitive to her needs he would want her to be happy and be with someone who can give her what she wants.
It's useless for her to waste her time dwelling on what he should or shouldn't do. It's up to her to cut her losses and find someone else since she only has control over her actions and not his. She teaches him how to treat her by how she's treating herself.click to expand
Posted by Sag89Posted by virgodreamzPosted by Sag89Posted by virgodreamz
The original post doesn't show me any example of virgo sensitivity. For myself I just see a guy who really really wants to have sex with no strings.
No strings? Sounds like there are strings since he's trying to manipulate her into not leaving. He just should just cut his losses n find someone else if he is so "unattached" that is what real unattached sex is.
When I say no strings I'm referring to no commitment and no relationship. Him trying to "manipulate" her into not leaving looks to me as if he wants to continue to have commitment free sex and not because he feels hurt that she wants to move on. If he was really concerned and sensitive to her needs he would want her to be happy and be with someone who can give her what she wants.
It's useless for her to waste her time dwelling on what he should or shouldn't do. It's up to her to cut her losses and find someone else since she only has control over her actions and not his. She teaches him how to treat her by how she's treating herself.
I agree. I'm just saying he obviously thinks of her as an object in some way. And is attached to "his" object. He isn't a uncommitted person. He's an overattached person. That was the point I was making.
Healthy attachment lets go when it's over cause they don't need someone to fill their needs cause they can do it their self ( Like you were saying ) He got attached and thinks she owes him something whether that is sex, attention or whatever.
He obviously missed the memo in life that no one owes you anything in that way. I just hate how woman call these men UNATTACHED. No they
overrattached and think human beings are possessions and need fucking therapy.click to expand
Posted by Sag89
I'm just saying
... he obviously thinks of her as
... to "his" object.
He isn't a uncommitted person.
He's an overattached person.
That was the point I was making.
Posted by Shescomeundone
Can FWB become something more?
Posted by P-Angel
I guess there is no light going off in your head ..... so you came here to get pity for being a fool because you don't know any better, and believe yourself to be some kind of victim.
::: shakes head :::
I don't suffer idiots easily .... and you are one
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