Frenemies

Anyone ever had a frenemy?

(This is possibly my first post on the Virgo board)

I've never really had a frenemy before because as a Sag, I'm not that great at faking shit...if I don't like you, it's usually pretty obvious. Haha

But I think I might have my first ever frenemy and he's a Virgo.
He's one of my classmates, and one of the first people I made friends with when I moved here.
Me, him, and my Leo friend were pretty much inseparable at first. Then we had a bit of a falling out I guess you could say...but it was really just a misunderstanding. Pretty typical Sag-Virgo fight. We were all drinking, getting pretty shitty...I jokingly told his boyfriend to "stop acting like a bitch" (yes, he's gay.) and he was offended. He never said anything to me...rather to the Leo...and made comments days later. :/

The Leo, being loyal to me of course, pretty much told him to grow up... that she was there, and he had no reason to be offended. But at this point I was annoyed that he never came to me and just talked about me to other people instead. I found this childish and sort of made up my mind that I didn't want to be friends with him because it would honestly be too much work (ie:if he got offended over something like that, that will surely not be the last time I offend him since I usually say whatever the Eff I want without too much thought.)
So, anyways, I stopped going out of my way to talk to him. Obviously he could sense this, and without going into too much detail, started acting like a dick. I didn't give him a reaction. This went on for about a week or so...

Eventually he initiated a convo with me and started acting as if nothing ever happened between us. We were in public and I was over it, so I responded friendly.
Later I got a text from him asking if we were cool.......UM? Haha sure? For the sake of squashing things I just said yes and noted that I wasn't sure what the problem was to begin with.
He insinuated he didn't know either...he just sensed I was annoyed with him so he was "staying out of my way"


Ever since things have been kind of awkward between us. In all honesty he really gets on my fucking nerves now. I still feel like I really don't care to be friends with him...but since we have mutual friends would like to keep things cordial. I feel like we wouldn't even be "friends" if it weren't for our Leo friend...like he only invited me along since he knew the Leo and me were closer and it were kind of like a package

Anyways,(sorry this is so long) it's his birthday tomorrow and he texted me to invite me to his bday dinner. I said I'd be back in time to go. He said "good! wouldn't be the same without you. miss you beotch"

Again, I feel like I only got an invite since he was inviting the Leo. But what's with the text?

Was that his way of extending an olive branch?


I am seriously getting the frenemy vibe from all this and I don't like it. :/

Maybe it's just the awkwardness of a Sag-Virgo friendship?

Virgos, help!
Is this normal?

Yeah it kind of does actually, thanks. 🙂

I think you may be right about him not liking confrontation and the over-thinking part.
I think he takes me the wrong way and is super sensitive towards me.

The thing is, he never gave that impression before. From my POV we had no boundaries...he joked with me, I joked back. But apparently there were invisible boundaries?

The Leo thinks he was just being a drama queen cause he was drunk and remembered it differently...she says after she set him straight his tone changed; but at that point I had already made up my mind and he was getting those "I don't give a fuck about you" vibes from me.

The rest of his bullshit in between may have been an attempt to get my attention/get a reaction from me since I was pulling the whole Sagi poker face thing, as you suggested. (Refusing to give him a reaction either way)



People who dish shit out but can't take it make me extremely uncomfortable...I feel like you have to be so careful what you say and that's just not gonna happen for me. :/

Idk, this friendship feels like too much work for me lol

I take a lot of things personally. Even jokes sometimes. But mostly what I perceive as my own mistakes.

I'm getting better with the seemingly insulting jests though.




But from my point of view I think it was more a "closeness" thing than him being a Virgo. I think if you were close enough with him you could even joke about his own mother being a bitch and he may just agree with you.



I'm not suggesting anything though. This is simply how I'm perceiving your predicament.

Posted by Pb
Were you guys still pretty new friends when you jokingly called him that?
If we don't know you that well we can be momentarily taken aback/surprised by those things and I'm betting the alcohol didn't help in deciding how exactly to take your comment.. So he went to the Leo to make sure you didn't mean it in an offensive way & find out if he was overreacting. If he extended an invite it means he thinks you're alright, maybe you could take that opportunity (or any other really if u wanna avoid possible drama on his bday) to let him know that he's gotta grow a pair if he plans on kicking it w/ you.

Yeah, I think it was just him being a bit of a drama queen for the moment. His bf (Aries) has mentioned him being easily-offended when drunk...getting mad at seemingly nothing.
Makes sense now. When sober, he is not this way at all. He says far more offensive shit to me.

When I called his bf a bitch I was joking...everyone knew it including his bf.


I wasn't upset over him being offended as much as I was about the way he handled it.
Like I get that you were drunk and might have taken something I said the wrong way...
But it really bothered me the way he handled it.

I didn't even know he was mad until he was already acting like a dick towards me...that's when the Leo told me he had mentioned the incident to her.
I mean he acted like a real child...making catty comments, trying to disclude me from shit, trying to be buddy-buddy with friends of mine who he didn't even like and talked trash about constantly...etc....

Posted by Amandus

But from my point of view I think it was more a "closeness" thing than him being a Virgo. I think if you were close enough with him you could even joke about his own mother being a bitch and he may just agree with you.

I'm not suggesting anything though. This is simply how I'm perceiving your predicament.

Yeah, that's what was weird for me...he jokes with me about far more offensive things. He calls me a bitch ALL THE TIME -- that's like seriously his pet name for me.
That's why I was so appalled he'd even get offended over me joking with his bf and saying "oh, don't be a bitch." (or something along those lines)

I think it was just the alcohol, the more I think about it.




I went to his birthday dinner last night and it went well.
He insisted on me sitting next to him and we shared each other's cocktails...

I still slightly feel frenemy vibes, but it's probably in my head at this point. I often feel this way with Virgo females...and he is gay, so maybe that's all that's going on...haha

Posted by brianafay

I went to his birthday dinner last night and it went well.
He insisted on me sitting next to him and we shared each other's cocktails...

I still slightly feel frenemy vibes, but it's probably in my head at this point. I often feel this way with Virgo females...and he is gay, so maybe that's all that's going on...haha

I'm finding it easier and easier to apologize for mistakes I've done. A big step for the better. Its been easier to dig deep into myself to find the dark truths I locked away, let them sink in--the pain, learn from them, to forgive myself and heal.


Using myself as my own example for wisdom, a Virgo who finds it difficult to apologize...its not that I could not face you. It was that I could not face myself.

Posted by 69virgo
Get off our board with this bullshit..😉 we don't like drama..

*fistbump*

Thanks Jase 🙂



& to the other two weirdoes...you're so dumb :/

since you're already here, why not give your input? Why try to create drama by making stupid comments?
Why not avoid this thread altogether if you had nothing to say?

Is this what P is always talking about Virgos being unaware of the drama they CREATE—

I came here trying to understand the Virgo POV on this type of thing.
You came here to be fucking assmonkeys. PERIOD


omgzzz yer so kewl too

*fist bump*

psh

Posted by everevolvingepithet

'watagwan batty bwoi !? eef you can' tayk a leetle heet way stay from di fiyah, ya eerr mi naw ? now tek a seet if dat posseebl t'all naywa'amsayeen' ? Imma streep'n deez chick'nzzz, wan 'elp mi now ??'

lmao!

streeeeep'n em

pshhhh
tryna git all up on dis, crimpin mai style z

STEP OFF
Virgo scrubs

ahahaa I am so funny.

Posted by CancerMoon
I don't know in what context you told his bf to "stop acting like a bitch" but that is exactly the kind of rude (even if joking) and disrespectful language I don't like to be around. And that's also why I have a hard time liking Saggy women. Lots of things just sound rude and are really unneccassary.
If you don't wanna be his friend anymore just tell him so. Probably the best thing to do.

I was joking with his bf since he was saying how he added the Leo on FB and not me yet since he couldn't find me...I said yeah right, don't be a bitch! (or something along those lines) everyone knew I was just giving him a hard time...he laughed, I laughed...everyone laughed...INCLUDING THE VIRGO

I had no clue there was a problem, until I heard from the Leo a day or two later that he told her I was rude.

He says far more offensive shit to me on a regular basis. He had no right to be offended by what I said, and everyone else that was there agrees on that fact. It's over and done with now...we've established that it was the alcohol talking.

ON that note though, I will say I agree that it is hard for Sagis and Virgos to be friends because of this. Virgos take things we say to heart even when it's clear to everyone else except them that they were not meant to be harmful. This is a pretty typical scenario it sounds like.

In a way I don't actually want to be his friend if he thinks anything like you have suggested you do just now since that would be entirely too much drama for my taste. I don't walk on eggshells for anybody, and I'm not gonna censor myself for him or anyone else....especially when he certainly doesn't censor himself for me.

I do not appreciate people who dish it out, but can't take it.
Get over yourselves.........

Yeah that's kind of how I feel too.....

but since we have mutual friends I'd like to keep it cordial. That's why I was referring to this situation as a frenemy situation. I'm not gonna invest my time in a real friendship with him since I know he cannot handle one....I'd rather just be friendly, have fun with him when we all hang out, and just leave it at that.

I don't want to harbor negative feelings for him, since I don't generally hold grudges...I'm letting it go, just moving forward I don't think I'll be making much of an effort to be anything but acquaintances.

Posted by everevolvingepithet


Yu see doze Virgoos all tryna be up in yaw sheeeit cuz dey be puttin' dawan der spredsheetz an frontin' on der brayn trayn refrayn !

*Said in a voice akin to a chest collapsing under it's own wait RR style *

Yu nee' tu be all up in diz 'ere virgoz grreeelll an' be all sayin' like
'watagwan batty bwoi !? eef you can' tayk a leetle heet way stay from di fiyah, ya eerr mi naw ? now tek a seet if dat posseebl t'all naywa'amsayeen' ? Imma streep'n deez chick'nzzz, wan 'elp mi now ??'
Or words to that effect.
🙂

I yawn at your ebonical try
so passe making one say oh my
bangers,mates,bloody,tea,loo and the queen
see real U.S.don't hide behind tower and screen
always a nose in that's our guy

Posted by thomas1214
he is negative thinks he is the best and what he has whatever it is is better then everyone elses.

this.