(Gemgirl) 2 complex 4 Virguy 2 understand...

This topic was created in the Virgo forum by versuri on Monday, May 4, 2009 and has 6 replies.
I'm a Gem girl and have been with my bf Virguy. WE got over that hump that most air/earth signs have... we understand each other in that when I need space, he gives me space. I adore even love him for understand my needs.
Like any gem girl, we have change our minds a lot... could be a gem thing, could be a girl thing. HAHA! smile I value our relationship, and we have worked hard to get to this point. But one thing that is constant with us is that perhaps its me, but its trust.
I trust people around me, more often times more than my bf. That's the problem. I take a long time to tell my bf's that stuff that really get to me, but I personally don't see it as a problem for me, when I can vent to other people but not him. that's how I am!
His Virgo traits triggers in and wants to help, and be there. But I like to do things by myself, and he thinks I'm stepping over him by venting to other people... Like telling my exe's, my other friends, when I know I should be able to tell my bf the same thing. I want him to realize that its just how I am. Don't get me wrong but I trust him, a lot! but i guess when it comes to things that get me down, I don't vent to him right away, I find myself going to my other friends, some close, some just other people, like other guys and just girls. I rather talk to them, than him.
He understand that's how I am, and we are great together!
Is there anyway to make him understand that, until I come around? smile
It's doubtful that you will be able to get any other person to be accepting of this .. not just a Virgo, rather any other person.
People have to feel special, in order to be a special person to another ... and the way to accomplish this feeling is by being special enough to the other that they entrust in you the sensitivity to hold dear/safely their life obstacles.

You said this ....
"I trust people around me, more often times more than my bf."
.. then next paragraph you said ...
"But I like to do things by myself, and he thinks I'm stepping over him by venting to other people .."

That's a contridiction ..... to like to do things by yourself, doesn't include venting it off to other people for thier input. If you truly kept it to yourself, as in you like to do things by yourself ... then he likely wouldn't have a problem with your trust issues.

I'm sure he does comprehend that you are like that .... and I'm also sure he can handle that you are this way .... what he likely cannot handle is the fact that you don't think he's special enough to you, to be able to trust him.

If you don't trust your Virgo to take care of you ... then you are requiring him to live outside of his natural state of being .. Virgo's take care, protect,, this is what they do .. if you cannot allow him to do this because you don't trust him ... then you've already lost him, it's just a matter of time before he bounces to go find a woman who does trust in him that he can take care of her, and in turn, she will utterly trust in his ability to do this.
To address the title of this thread ... you're not too complex to understand. On the Contray, you're simple.

He has it all spelled out .... he said you step over him, and then described in here how you in fact step over him.

To you .. you think you are some awesome complex creature that is too difficult for his small mind to fathom.

It (you) is rather elementary ..... you have trust issues and like all people who are in denial .. you think there's somethign wrong with him and what's his problem.
Then this relationship will die.
You can't go around telling other people your business and problems and leave him last. He WILL be annoyed and he WILL push you away.
Trust is very important to the Virgo and this behaviour blatantly stabs his trust and love for you.
My best buddy was driven mad by his ex Scorpio doing this to him and they broke up on bad terms.
P-Angel is right, anyone who would take this kind of treatment is either with you for something (money, sex, status) or just going along for the ride. No love.
Oh boy little missy, we are just full of contradictions aren't we. And when I say we I mean you.
I agree with both P and Cajun, but would like to add maybe you need to take sometime to grow and understand yourself a little bit better before you get into a serious relationship. Because your post was seething with contradictions, which tells me you might be confused about yourself and what you want in a relationship.
It's not that Gemgal is 2 complex 4 Virguy 2 understand, it is that Gemgal is 2 confused about herself.
Good Luck!
It??s a typical Gemini-Virgo thing. The Gemini tries to coolly analyse the Virgo behaviour too much, the Virgo retreats, the Gemini analyses why, Virgo pulls back more, Gemini analyses why more, and so on and so forth. It can go on for years. With neither ever truly being able to express the true depth of emotion to one another. It is so sad. Especially if there is a bit of fire in the charts somewhere??_just reaching out to be truly loved, yet always holding back because of fear, and fear of loss of control, on both sides.
I guess it??s hard to tell which I needed first for the Gemini - the trust or the ability to let go of control partially. I think there must be trust gained first, and only then can Gemini truly open up.
For Gemini with Virgo, it is a matter of Gemini letting their wall down that they so frequently throw up. But for a Gemini to do this, the Gemini must trust the other person fully.
And Gemini must get to the stage where, no matter how in love, no matter how much attraction, the need for control is let go, bare yourself to them, only then will the Virgo respond. If you keep that wall there, there will always be an emotional rift.
But, I have no idea how you can make him understand this.
Please let me know if you find out how to overcome this problem. As am in a similar situation, and I fear it is already too late.