Great guy/relationship but one problem :-(.

Hey guys, I know I haven't been on here in so long. Unfortunately I have an issue. First let me start of by saying my boyfriend is amazing, he's a virgo by the way. He's sweet, genuine, we have so much fun together. We're like the perfect couple (cancer and virgo). But there is one issue. The physical aspect of our relationship; He says that he's attracted to me, however it's difficult for him to get aroused. Now this doesn't happen all the time, however it is quite often. I try other means to get him aroused and it just takes a little longer than what I am use to. I am not use to this so I have the slightest idea on what to do here. I have talked to him about this, and he continues to reassure me that he is attracted to me and that's it's him and he's going to work on it. Now I know that he's not seeing someone else, or even have interest in anyone. And although he has told me he is attracted to me I feel otherwise. I often wonder why? Now I am not willing to give up such a great relationship because of this issue; I am willing to do whatever I can so that we can work on this situation for the better. Please help me out here guys. I don't know what eles to do.


Thank you all in advance.

Honestly viagra, if he's unwilling to use viagra or some form of sexual enhancement your going to struggle, if sex/intimacy is very important to you then you have ac couple of options, you can consider having an open relationship and find a partner to have sex with or you can leave...You can also explore tantric sex by looking for a teacher in your area, you can go to a sex therapist, some men are so used to having random sexual encounters real intimacy can turn some men off because the body isn't used to being with one woman all the time. Also masturbation may be an issue, if he's using online porn or porn of any kind this too can be an issue why he can't get it up, these days there's a huge population of men that prefer cyber sex over real sex, it's not uncommon. I remember a friend telling me he prefers sex with women that he has no emotional connection with, less stress and less performance anxiety, maybe your guy fits into that category, I dunno.

Remember this isn't your husband, your not obligated to stay in a relationship that lacks intimacy. Do the best you can and if none of it gets resolved maybe this isn't the perfect relationship for you.

how old is your virgo Guy? if you dont mind my askin.

Virgo males have certain turn on and offs, they are not like the rest of the male population that loses their mind over a curvy bod and flash. Each Virguy has their own turn on, you have to flip the switch to arose them which means you have to know his mind. That's part of the whole metal connection they look for. It's difficult because they won't tend to tell you where or what exactly that switch is...so you are going to have to explore.

both my brother and father are virgos they Love small women with very long hair.. they are also sex addicts.. its funny my dad is 50 and if you go into the wrong part of his room you will stumble across plenty of inhancers and lub... geez its my dad.. lol! his wife is 33 and they have sex like everyday.

Posted by virtuousvirgo83
both my brother and father are virgos they Love small women with very long hair.. they are also sex addicts.. its funny my dad is 50 and if you go into the wrong part of his room you will stumble across plenty of inhancers and lub... geez its my dad.. lol! his wife is 33 and they have sex like everyday.

LOL!!

Well maybe she can introduce some toys into the mix, like sweet lioness says virgos need mental stimuli, time to get to exploring, hit some strip clubs and pull out that extra big dildo or one of those fake vagina's, all that freaky stuff.

i had this problem with a capricorn. it's frustrating when he's operating on Skinemax mode while you're on Spice Network mode. they're kissing on your neck and you're thinking "Can you stick and bust already so i can go watch some HGTV". i like romantic stuff but when it starts taking forever and ever it's exhausting :O

Erectile Dysfunction affects a lot of guys.

Posted by i love ewe
..."Can you stick and bust already so i can go watch some HGTV".

Hahahaha!

Have you actually talked to him about what gets him going? Sometimes a little conversation gets the action going

Posted by i love ewe
i had this problem with a capricorn. it's frustrating when he's operating on Skinemax mode while you're on Spice Network mode. they're kissing on your neck and you're thinking "Can you stick and bust already so i can go watch some HGTV". i like romantic stuff but when it starts taking forever and ever it's exhausting :O

lmao, yeah cap men love foreplay especially kissing and cuddling, sometimes we girls just want to get on and get off, my preference is the food channel, gotta love a good cake contest.

Posted by tiki33

Posted by i love ewe
i had this problem with a capricorn. it's frustrating when he's operating on Skinemax mode while you're on Spice Network mode. they're kissing on your neck and you're thinking "Can you stick and bust already so i can go watch some HGTV". i like romantic stuff but when it starts taking forever and ever it's exhausting :O

lmao, yeah cap men love foreplay especially kissing and cuddling, sometimes we girls just want to get on and get off, my preference is the food channel, gotta love a good cake contest.

click to expand

I can't ever change it when they're doing some GRILLING or BBQ on the food network!

Posted by VirgoHero

Posted by tiki33

Posted by i love ewe
i had this problem with a capricorn. it's frustrating when he's operating on Skinemax mode while you're on Spice Network mode. they're kissing on your neck and you're thinking "Can you stick and bust already so i can go watch some HGTV". i like romantic stuff but when it starts taking forever and ever it's exhausting :O

lmao, yeah cap men love foreplay especially kissing and cuddling, sometimes we girls just want to get on and get off, my preference is the food channel, gotta love a good cake contest.

I can't ever change it when they're doing some GRILLING or BBQ on the food network!

click to expand

I know, it's so addicting especially throw down with Bobby Flay and Diners Drives and Dives...love it

ooops...diners drive-ins and dives...how could i mess that up

*Jotting down MANY notes about the benefits of an Aries companion* hahahah 🙂

Posted by sortilege85
None of the guys here are going to agree, but I know deep down they do.

Remember virgos are critics and love to perfect things. People are afraid to criticism, but to a virgo, much like sag, they take insults and comments as a form of stimulation to perfect what they are doing.

Don't tell him he sucks, gay or isn't so great after the sex because that is when the real "results" should be stated, but you should tell him this before and during the sex, so he can think that you aren't satisfied even though you are, and he'll go out of his way from thinking to just focusing on you "completely".

I do this about everything else, so I am pretty sure if someone told me I was terrible in bed I would try and get better.

Thanks guys for all of your input, it's greatly appreciated. I know some have asked how old he is, he's actually 32, turning 33 this year. And others have asked if I have spoken to him and asked what he likes and he was pretty vague and so not helpful. However, last night him and I had a really deep conversation, and with much thought. He finally revealed to me what it is he likes. He wants me to be more aggressive because that's what he's use to . So now I know, and have some aggressive tricks under my sleeves lol. But seriously, I am glad him and I talked things over last night. And Im hopeful that things work from this day forward. He's such a great guy and I don't want this to be such a huge effect on our relatiohsips.

@Jason22131 yep he sure does.

Posted by DyTryin

Most straight Virgos are way to earthy to be submissive -- at least Down South.

The metro sexual variety must live in the Big Apple.

wow thats a very narrow minded statement i guess that applies for every sign that lives in nyc huh.


my cuzin that lives in tha south told me there's alot of DL people down dere lmfao.

Posted by DyTryin

LGV: my cuzin that lives in tha south told me there's alot of DL people down dere lmfao.

He must live in Atlanta.

Not too many guys on the "down low" in my county.

my virgo cuzin does live in atl how did you guess that fact cuz nothing can get past a senior virgo rite owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww lmfao.

Posted by DyTryin

Jason: I guess when your definition of a straight man includes being manly and all that other manly stuff?

Straight Men are manly...

Uh... are you shaving (your face) yet?

i didnt kno virgos was manly did u read my last post about tha feminine male and masculine and feminine energy.

He's over-thinking the sex part. He's acknowledging that intimacy is important in the relationship and he wants to work on it. Part of intimacy is being patient with your significant other and helping them overcome, so to speak. If he feels there is a pressure to perform, then he's not going to be stimulated. There are many info out there on the net and even books to improve sex lives. Use your imagination...... part of intimacy is allowing your partner to feel things that feel good. Giving and receiving pleasure is a very powerful thing.... watching someone go through the motions of being aroused, to being stimulated, to orgasming is amazing, especially knowing that you are giving them that pleasure.

He might have intimacy issues. Sex is emotional for guys too..... some times the events that occur during sex are too intimate and it might be something that you have to be patient with and work together with to eventually have be comfortable to be that emotional with you.

I love sex.... I love every thing that there is to love about sex, from the dirty to powerful. But I have intimacy issues. I was in a loving relationship where I was able to express myself and explore my sexuality on different levels, and that person that I shared that with betrayed my love. Two years down the track, I'm still suffering from issues that have stemmed from that relationship. The emotions have faded from that relationship, but the effects of it still lingers. I don't trust people because of it. Now that I'm in a relationship with someone who I do trust, I have now found that being intimate with him has been an issue. It actually scared him, and he thinks that I'm fridget, but I have found exposing myself on that deep of an emotional level is terrifying for me. For him, he tackled the trust issues head on, so he's becoming frustrated because I put up so many walls, and now he's faced with another wall. But him being frustrated with me freaks me out, because now I feel that sex is expected out of me, and that plays on my trust issues.
You'll be surprised what patence can do.... and intimacy doesn't always mean sex. Participating in smaller acts can actually lead to more intimacy than sex. You can have sex with anyone, but discovering the small things that makes your OS tick can be amazing too.....

That is strange, but if there isnt sexual intimacy it effects your relationship. Trust me, been there, done that. Especially if you two are still young.

He is in his 30's he will be 33 this year. I am not yet in my 30's, will be 27 this year. Lol @ those who feel he's guy. I totally disagree. From what he has mentioned to me the other night when we spoke; his past relationships the woman were really aggressive and he seems to be accustomed to that now, so that's pretty much what it is. I don't think he has any type of dysfunction. I do believe since he is a virgo he does over analyze pretty much anything which can cause this as well. But we'll see how this whole aggressive thing goes. I don't feel comfortable going to any herbal remedies or any type of medication especially since there are so many side affects. I don't want to be the one to cause a bigger issue than what it already is you know. However, I do thank you ArianPride for your input and help as well as everyone else, even the ones who came up the conclusion that he's gay. Lol too funny.

one of my good friend's is a virgo and ever since his scorp girl left him for a good year every girl he saw complained about him not being able to get it up. they all also thought he was gay but he isn't.

Posted by iluvmecancer
From what he has mentioned to me the other night when we spoke; his past relationships the woman were really aggressive and he seems to be accustomed to that now, so that's pretty much what it is. I don't think he has any type of dysfunction.

I don't think there's a dysfunction here. He sounds like a typical Virgo. I'm the same - I'm very shy sexually and any woman who doesn't know me well would think I have a low sex drive and very little interest in sex. Nothing could be further from the truth - I love sex - but, men are bombarded by statements in the media, etc., that women think we only want them for one thing, and that women think sex is a chore, so Virgo, the sign of "giving" and "service", is not about to start running ragged on a woman when he thinks it's not what she wants... hence why an aggressive women works well with a Virgo, at least in my opinion. As I said, I'm very shy, but I had an amazing time with a Leo woman who was very forward and aggressive. She totally brought me out of my shell and had me fulfilling my filthiest of fantasies - believe me, us Virgos have VERY fertile imaginations - but I would never have been like this if it wasn't for her taking the lead and effectively giving me the green light to "let rip". All other women I've been with left it to me to take the lead so, while what happened was "nice", that's all it was, and I always held back because I always felt uneasy that they were just having sex to please me and not themselves. Seriously, your problem could be one with a solution as simple as you going nympho on him.

Tell him you want to him to watch you play with yourself, that way he's involved with you intimately but is not under direct pressure to perform for you. Make sure you make lots of noise. If he isn't dying to screw you to within an inch of your life by the time you've had your first O then I'll be very surprised!!!

@VirgoM20 That sounds like a good idea. Thank you so much for your input as well as everyone else.