Handling Negative Attitudes

How should you handle your close friends when they keep telling you that you are "crazy" for loving this Virgo, or "don't you have any self-respect?" when the calls don't come, etc.?

Should you stop talking about your Virgo to even your close friends ? (I have considered this as an alternative.) It may nurture my need to stop talking so much during stressful periods, anyway)

notso07,
"I will say that I have learned to stop discussing my personal matters with friends."

You are right...seems these friends of mine really do not comprehend the situation at hand. I'm constantly having to remind them of days gone by and how I want to not have a replay of another breaking up before we can even get restarted. It is exhausting and they do care, but they can't understand, and I get frustrated trying to explain and rebut their rebuttals.

No, I don't feel a lack of self respect. I think in the matters of the heart, there can be no shame. I do sometimes feel a lack of respect from my V, so I feel hurt and bewildered (emotional). Then I want to talk-talk-talk! I have been writing music lately that I started about a month ago, called Waiting for (My Virgo's Name). Maybe I will just have to stick to the piano and talk to it when I feel so chatty. I do get chatty.

Maybe I could write him a letter every time I want to talk. That may be the key. It seems in my mind I am talking to him all of the time, so could write it instead of telling my well-meaning friends.
?

Well, it is the no call/no show thing. Never calls. Even when he says he will at a certain time. Like it was on purpose that he didn't, and I'm to get some sort of message. Friends say, sure, the message is that he is trying to tell you to get lost. 😢 It is difficult not to listen to that stuff. But, he says he loves me. And he is loaded down right now with work. This is why I wondered about Virgos and tests. Well, I think I passed the mid-term, anyway. LOL
G'night, and thatnks so much for helping.
ltvm
Why wouldn't you deliver the letter/s?

ltvm: I know what you mean about family and friends. They only care about you and want what THEY think is best for you. Everyone has their own opinions. I have two friends of mine that I can talk to that doesn't past judgement on me or whomever I'm dating at the time. We need to vent and talk when things are bad and when things are good but, the rest of the people I know only remember the bad stuff. I have learned to only talk to the ones that I know will just listen and maybe put a little advice in if I ask but, they let me live my life. The others well, I have in the past talked to them about some negative things and when the guy I was with met them well, they treated him different and made me feel uncomfortable so, then I would avoid them when I was with him because they just past judgement from something that I said negative about the relationship and all I wanted was someone to let me vent when I needed it. I have learned my lesson about that because it makes my life difficult so, I either talke to two of my friends that won't past judgement or I find some stranger to talk to (who doesn't really care about my life) and tell them, just so I can get it off my chest. I tried writing letters but, they don't work for me. I hope it works out for you. They do it because they care but, it causes problems for you so, don't tell them what is going on unless it is good stuff.

sweethearts,
"don't tell them what is going on unless it is good stuff."
That's very good advice and I'll take it. I always want to edify my Virgo. Maybe on here I can do a little venting, but geeze, I have really done my share on this board during the past several days, now. Thank you!!!

notso07
A night of sleep does wonders. I realize today that I need to let V come to me. It is the only way it will work, and if I am in his face in any way other than natural circumstances, then it will be a negative for the relationship. Thanks so much for writing.

With a V, its best not to tell friends too much because the typical V standard of what a relationship is supposed to be like is much colder and distant than most other people.....and quirky things that they will do and say (or not do and not say) will often come off a they would from someone that you are very close to. So if you like them, just know you like them and try to keep things to yourself or at least find a VERY understanding confident. V's aren't the type that it pays to tell too much as going on.....people will think you're in a one-sided relatinship depending on what kind of V you have.......and who knows....they could be right.

Lovethatvirgoman,

Good for you. Sleep does do wonders when one is thinking a lot. Yes, let V-man come to you. I know it's very hard. Been there myself with the letting go thing. Let there be space between you. Hopefully, when he sees you've backed off, he'll miss you and contact you.