Handling Other's Emotions/Feelings

This topic was created in the Virgo forum by CLCNY30 on Friday, February 4, 2011 and has 32 replies.
As always, all signs free to join in.
How are you when it comes to showing sympathy/empathy towards others? Do you have to be close to someone in order to feel sorry for them, or are you just a generally sympathetic/empathetic person?
Also, what signs do you think tend to be more over-emotional? How about under-emotional? Which signs do you think have more control over their emotions? The questions in this paragraph are, of course, just your opinion. Don't want anyone getting butthurt because they think these opinions are written in stone somewhere.
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I made the topic because I have a Capricorn female here at work that I saw a whole other side of yesterday.
After almost a year since she's been working here of her and I being able to joke with each other, about anything, she took offense to a joke I played on her/made her the butt of yesterday. She's always mock-pouting, and doing the babyvoice when she feels stung--but we both laugh it off, and life continues. Well, yesterday, she was sitting in back crying. I'm talking about cry cry crying! I went back there to tickle her, and came upon her crying and was just standing there in shock. I'm asked her if she was crying about the joke, and she sure enough was! I quickly apologized, and said that we ALWAYS joke like that, and of course I always mean it as that--a joke, and she just kept staring at her screen with tears in her eyes, clicking on her mouse. So I turn to her screen, and she's going through her FB wall, deleting every post I ever made. I'm just staring at her and the screen like (O_O). So I said, "there's an easier way to do that, so you don't have to go through the trouble--I can block you, and it will take everything I've ever said off your wall". She doesn't respond. I say, "once again, I apologize--we've always joked like that, and I wish you had told me if it offended you." She told me to leave her alone, and I did as she wished, leaving her to her own devices.
I went back to my desk, sent her an IM to let her know that I had blocked myself so that it would erase me from her wall, and apologized again, and she said nothing.
So...I went about finishing up my work to go home.
Part of me wanted to go back there and hug her and baby her and coddle her and apologize until she broke into giggles...but that was like 30% of me, LOL. I...I just don't believe in babying someone. I mean, I don't apologze to ANYONE. NO ONE. So for me to say "sorry"? It means I care about you--really are about you, and I apologized profusely. Not saying she should have accepted my apology--I understand that she was hurt, but I'd think a woman who is older than me with 3 grown kids would be more...I dunno, more communicative and not as sensitive...I dunno...
So I get home, and it seems she thought I was bluffing, as she uses her son's account to message me, "thank you for deleting me from your friends list..."
I'm staring at the message like (O_O) and I choose not to reply.
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I've spoken to 2 friends (one a Gemini, and one a Leo) and they both shrug their shoulders about it. As far as they're concerned, I've already apologized, and honored her wishes to be a) left alone, b) rid of all my fb messages on her wall.
I'm not sure how "I" feel about the situation though.
This all happened yesterday, and she's "mysteriously" called in ill today. I had NO clue that Capricorns were this sensitive, they always seemed to me to be so in control of their feelings. Really opened my eyes.
Really don't know...I don't blame her for being upset, if something bothers you (whether it was intentionally meant to provoke you, or not) I believe you have every right to be upset...but she jokes with me all...the...time. I mean, annoying jokes that if ANYONE ELSE did, I'd be pissed enough to report them. I accepted her jokes though, because I knew they were coming from a loving place in her where she felt comfortable enough to joke with me, so it was like "woah" when she couldn't be as accepting. Then to get angry because I flipped the script on your whole FB deleting scheme?
What disappoints me the most is that if I hadn't happened to get up and go back there, I would never have known she was hurt. To sit there and play victim, instead of approaching me and COMMUNICATING your upset...I never understand why people don't communicate to Virgos. It's the top thing we need and want, and it's so easy to do, yet it seems as hard as pulling teeth to people and then they wonder why we get cold.
Yeah, no more joking w/her. Not trying to lose my job over some nonesense.
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I like in Virgo &Capricorns their ability to control emotions and being digne in every situation.That i think helps very much to gain success in life.
However my manager is Capricorn-recently observed her so soft side,i was taken aback to see it .And that made me think that me and her are so similar underneath,only show it in quite oppositte style s.I openly asked her what's going on and despite she denied it,she wouldn't hide her emotional discomfort.
But you know what? I think sometimes is good people to be left to deal with their emotions on their own,that helps more.
overly emotional? i'd like to step from the 1-st place from the honoured ladder,but alas...it's already reserved for the etrnetysmile/i'm joking/
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Posted by CLCNY30

What disappoints me the most is that if I hadn't happened to get up and go back there, I would never have known she was hurt. To sit there and play victim, instead of approaching me and COMMUNICATING your upset...I never understand why people don't communicate to Virgos. It's the top thing we need and want, and it's so easy to do, yet it seems as hard as pulling teeth to people and then they wonder why we get cold.
Yeah, no more joking w/her. Not trying to lose my job over some nonesense.


I'm pretty empathetic, so I'm going to put on her shoes for a moment. You are not wrong, that's for sure. She probably didn't communicate with you because the joke caught her off guard and her defenses were up. I don't know your entire relationship with her, but if you don't have an open communication outside of the joking, she's going to have a hard time coming to you. Like CM said, the joke probably hit a place that few people ever hit, a really sensitive place that she has to deal with and wants know one to really acknowledge. All she knows is the joking, and it's hard to talk to someone who you felt you can have a fun time with but just shook you up. She is probably very sensitive, and may have a few insecurities, and the joking is a good way to put up a front. You mentioned that you accept her jokes that no one probably would; I think she trusts you in a way, but when you made that joke, and it's not even like you meant it, she didn't know what to turn too. She took your apology, but she's afraid that if you can hit her like that now, you'll do it again. She's not playing a victim per se, but she's not handling it very well either. She may or may not come around, but as you said, you have your own life to worry about. It's just an unfortunate situation.
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Posted by CancerMoon
Oh God, NO! By deleting your posts in front of you she was trying to show you how hurt she is. I can understand you, I'd be pissed, too in this situation but I would have reacted differently. The woman needed a hug. Maybe this joke you made really struck a nerve. Something she does not like about herself and that is a sensitive topic to her. I don't know, maybe she reacted that extreme because she has other problems and it just overwhelmed her. I say there's nothing wrong with babying someone. Especially if this person normally doesn't require babying.
I'm not the one to apologize either because most of the time I really mean what I say. But sometimes you hurt someone and if that wasn't your intention apologizing for being so harsh isn't a bad idea.
Well, I don't want to tell you what to do or say. May I ask what this joke was that made her that upset? I really can't imagine anything that horrible.


Our usual dirty joking, it was a text message from autocorrect.com that I joked around and said she could relate to--something on anal. I don't joke with people too much, as I don't feel comfortable enough to, and I'd never just full on throw a joke at someone that I didn't know all that well/whose sense of humor I was unsure of. Her and I have joked about sex so many times I can't even begin to describe, and she'll even come back later to continue it! So I figured she could take the joke, and I understand if she likes HEARING about the joke, but not being involved--I can get that 100% . As I said, I thought she knew that I'd never hurt her, not intentionally, and knew also that she could come and talk to me about anything. I go out of my way for her here, I've stuck my neck out for her, gone out in bad weather to get her food (she doesn't drive, her husband has the car, so she's stuck here during the day and has to depend on others to get her food), paid for her lunches, contacted people she didn't feel like talking to, asked questions to other she was uncomfortable asking, and that's just the tip of the iceberg. Not that any of that means she should just shut up and take a joke, I fully blame myself for hurting her, whether I was joking or not. But to not come up to me and talk about it? To be sitting back there crying, and trembling, and having people think I threatened you or something? I made sure not to tag her in the message, as I didn't wa
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want it showing up on her wall, so it was between her and I, but I still see how she was hurt.
I've babied her in the past, really really got all mushy, and I just don't feel comfortable doing that anymore. I'd rather just not joke with her from this point forward, I think that's the safest route to go for both of us. I've never required her to baby me when she does silly chit that could get me in trouble, or runs up behind me and smacks me hard somewhere, or is hovering over my shoulder while I'm talking to a customer and screwing me up while I'm trying to get their information or while they're trying to discuss something urgent with me. I knew she was only joking because she felt comfortable with me, and overlooked the annoyance of it, lol.
Meh, just not good handling overt displays of emotions like that...
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Posted by CLCNY30
Posted by CancerMoon
Oh God, NO! By deleting your posts in front of you she was trying to show you how hurt she is. I can understand you, I'd be pissed, too in this situation but I would have reacted differently. The woman needed a hug. Maybe this joke you made really struck a nerve. Something she does not like about herself and that is a sensitive topic to her. I don't know, maybe she reacted that extreme because she has other problems and it just overwhelmed her. I say there's nothing wrong with babying someone. Especially if this person normally doesn't require babying.
I'm not the one to apologize either because most of the time I really mean what I say. But sometimes you hurt someone and if that wasn't your intention apologizing for being so harsh isn't a bad idea.
Well, I don't want to tell you what to do or say. May I ask what this joke was that made her that upset? I really can't imagine anything that horrible.


Our usual dirty joking, it was a text message from autocorrect.com that I joked around and said she could relate to--something on anal. I don't joke with people too much, as I don't feel comfortable enough to, and I'd never just full on throw a joke at someone that I didn't know all that well/whose sense of humor I was unsure of.
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There's two things I get from this: either she doesn't like being the subject of the joke or there is something about the joke content itself that she has a bad past with and can't talk about, something that was enough to really shake her up like that. From what you say now, I think she really trusted, probably more than anyone else. You went somewhere with the joke, she basically had an oh shit moment, and now she doesn't know who to really trust. If she hasn't really opened up to you before, it's going to be hard to talk about it now. I think her defense is to eliminate the problem before she has to acknowledge it. She seems like a runner.
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She once did something that made me so upset that I asked her to please leave me be for a while.
I stewed it over, listened to music, calmed down and went back there to talk to her calmly. She was more upset that I was mad at her and didn't apologize for what she did at all, and that did turn me off, but I brushed it off and figured it was over and it wasn't worth losing a friend over.
I take full responsibility for my joke hurting her, and did apologize repeatedly, but I can't baby this/her. Thank you for explaning about how Cap. sensitivity is cappyluv. I can understand wanting to be IN on a joke, but not the butt of it. I just figured she's put me in so many embarrassing situations, and made ME the butt of jokes before, that she could take it, but I guess it's a "do as I say, not as I do" situation. I don't know...
I'm going to just step back from this, and leave it alone. Like I said, not trying to lose my job over this.
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Hey C,
Sounds to me like she was having a bit of an "off day" since you said that the two of you usually joke like that. Depending on what happens next, you may or may not ever know if my theory holds true. If she decides to talk again, you may want to ask her if something else was going on with her in that moment since this sudden change in behavior seems to be way out of her normal character when joking around with you in the office.
Normally, I find Cap women to be tough (how the hell can we stay away from generalizations?). My sister is a Cap and she's no mush, but then again, every two Cappies are not one and the same.
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^ It's probably your best bet to just leave it alone. The situation itself is not something you deserve to lose a lot of sleep (or your job) over.
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Posted by Candeh15
Posted by CLCNY30

What disappoints me the most is that if I hadn't happened to get up and go back there, I would never have known she was hurt. To sit there and play victim, instead of approaching me and COMMUNICATING your upset...I never understand why people don't communicate to Virgos. It's the top thing we need and want, and it's so easy to do, yet it seems as hard as pulling teeth to people and then they wonder why we get cold.
Yeah, no more joking w/her. Not trying to lose my job over some nonesense.


I'm pretty empathetic, so I'm going to put on her shoes for a moment. You are not wrong, that's for sure. She probably didn't communicate with you because the joke caught her off guard and her defenses were up. I don't know your entire relationship with her, but if you don't have an open communication outside of the joking, she's going to have a hard time coming to you. Like CM said, the joke probably hit a place that few people ever hit, a really sensitive place that she has to deal with and wants know one to really acknowledge. All she knows is the joking, and it's hard to talk to someone who you felt you can have a fun time with but just shook you up. She is probably very sensitive, and may have a few insecurities, and the joking is a good way to put up a front. You mentioned that you accept her jokes that no one probably would; I think she trusts you in a way, but when you made that joke, and it's not even like you meant it, she didn't know what to turn too. She took your apology, but she's afraid that if you can hit her like that now, you'll do it again. She's not playing a victim per se, but she's not handling it very well either. She may or may not come around, but as you said, you have your own life to worry about. It's just an unfortunate situation.
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Nah, I was def. wrong.
It's really hard for me to get close to people for this very reason. Once I open up and start to be myself (and ANNNNNNYone who knows me knows I'm a dirty joker--case in point, I just posted in FB that I have 22 unclaimed vacation days. A friend of mine said "hey, come visit me" and I replied "no thanks, I don't need to travel to your state to get raped, I can get raped in NY just fine, but thanks for the offer", LOL! She was like "I'm sorYy im not used to the word "NO" s
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so i take that as a yes..." and we go on from there, lmmfao--that's a normal convo with friends with me, and they know this. I willd drop someone in a hot minute who cannot take my dirty side as it's who I am, and I'm not surpressing it for no one), and you tell me you don't accept something about me, I will pull back like a turtle into its shell, and may never come back out for you again. It's not even about the incident after a while, it's about knowing I can't be myself with you, so why would I chose to spend my time being AROUND you, you know what I mean?
I understand her anger, and how she chose to express it (deleting my posts and crying) but I don't respect it, and for that reason I think it's best we just keep things professional.
no one turns me down
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Posted by Candeh15
Posted by CLCNY30
Posted by CancerMoon
Oh God, NO! By deleting your posts in front of you she was trying to show you how hurt she is. I can understand you, I'd be pissed, too in this situation but I would have reacted differently. The woman needed a hug. Maybe this joke you made really struck a nerve. Something she does not like about herself and that is a sensitive topic to her. I don't know, maybe she reacted that extreme because she has other problems and it just overwhelmed her. I say there's nothing wrong with babying someone. Especially if this person normally doesn't require babying.
I'm not the one to apologize either because most of the time I really mean what I say. But sometimes you hurt someone and if that wasn't your intention apologizing for being so harsh isn't a bad idea.
Well, I don't want to tell you what to do or say. May I ask what this joke was that made her that upset? I really can't imagine anything that horrible.


Our usual dirty joking, it was a text message from autocorrect.com that I joked around and said she could relate to--something on anal. I don't joke with people too much, as I don't feel comfortable enough to, and I'd never just full on throw a joke at someone that I didn't know all that well/whose sense of humor I was unsure of.


There's two things I get from this: either she doesn't like being the subject of the joke or there is something about the joke content itself that she has a bad past with and can't talk about, something that was enough to really shake her up like that. From what you say now, I think she really trusted, probably more than anyone else. You went somewhere with the joke, she basically had an oh shit moment, and now she doesn't know who to really trust. If she hasn't really opened up to you before, it's going to be hard to talk about it now. I think her defense is to eliminate the problem before she has to acknowledge it. She seems like a runner.
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We've always had wonderful communication. Like I said, we were friends. We talked to each other without the use of jokes plenty of times before. She seemed to feel comfortable sharing with me, and I felt comfortable coming to her to share as well. It's why I was taken aback.
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LOL, ignore the "no one turns me down" on the second to last post--it was a ghost copy/paste from my dirty friend's message, lmfao!
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Posted by CappyyLuv30
Dirty talk/jokes must be an earth element thing LOL or a latina thing. Winking
I'm the same way with my friends. I posted on Wednesday on FB "Cha cha today!" announcing my excitement about cha cha cha class and one of my friends commented "I got your cha cha right here bish!" LMAO that ish just makes me laugh. Smh.


now you KNOW i'ma need to add you to my friend list right??? I dont know why I didn't think to ask if you were on FB!!!
PMing
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Posted by CLCNY30

We've always had wonderful communication. Like I said, we were friends. We talked to each other without the use of jokes plenty of times before. She seemed to feel comfortable sharing with me, and I felt comfortable coming to her to share as well. It's why I was taken aback.


I'm a huge dirty joker too and really sarcastic, so I know where you are coming from. I can say that I don't know what it was about that joke or her that day that made her snap like that, but what I meant when I said you weren't wrrong is that you're not a terrible or malicious person and you didn't mean it. I don't get that at all. Like yeah you made the joke, but you owned up to it and that matters more. She needs to work all this out for herself. You did your part, and you're still a good friend. And like you said, you don't have to always deal with (future) situations like that.
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Then I had to dust off this acct damn YOU!! haha!!
I really think she didn't mean to take it 'there', but was doing damage control. She just felt you were the 'safest' person to be 'outraged' at and she felt you'd be more understanding/sympathetic as opposed to if she had pouted with someone who'd have straight laughed her out of their face. She genuinely didn't expect to get dealt with & this all epically backfired on her.
And WHY do our lives mirror each other damn it?! I just got finished having a row with a coworker at internship. The tone of voice she had sounded like she was kidding (we regularly do snark), so I began to kid too. She then got up and went to our supervisor. I was standing there like meh ok. It wasn't until my supervisor could tell she was serious and all 3 of us were in a room that it began to sink in. She was GENUINELY offended and not calming down. I was dismissed, and while waiting to come back it occured to me. When I came back I actually cried at the thought of offending some one (without MEANING too of course). My supervisor was explaining that to her (that i don't normally say more than 2 words to people I'm not trying to talk to & that if I talk to you regularly, It's not my MO to be offensive) while I was gone. I think the crying had an effect-- as I don't normally do so. By the end of that, she GOT it and offered to hug me. We did-- cause I like hugs.
BLAH!! -- to answer from my POV:
I'm very empathetic/sympathetic, but I pick and choose at times-- usually based on my own experience. Like: 'I did ___, what can't you do ___?' I don't have to be close to feel, but the lack of closeness makes it easier at times to 'detach' and not take on others' burdens.
Over emotional: Pisces, Leos (but it has to 'touch' us, we don't display all the time), cancer males
Under emotional: Sag males, Caps. They seem so callous and non chalant about others' concerns
Controlled: Cancer women and Virgos I've seen. They more suppressing though and waiting to blow and have scorecards.
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^^^ Sorry for the double post. My phone refreshed. I deleted one as not to repeat myself. Haha!!
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Posted by CappyyLuv30
Posted by Nekamarie83

Under emotional: Sag males, Caps. They seem so callous and non chalant about others' concerns


Don't believe the hype. Just sayin' smile

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Hahah!! It's just the ones I've interacted with or sat in session with. I'm sure awesome Caps exist. Not Sag males though.
*narrows eyes* Ever.
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Posted by Candeh15
Posted by CLCNY30

We've always had wonderful communication. Like I said, we were friends. We talked to each other without the use of jokes plenty of times before. She seemed to feel comfortable sharing with me, and I felt comfortable coming to her to share as well. It's why I was taken aback.


I'm a huge dirty joker too and really sarcastic, so I know where you are coming from. I can say that I don't know what it was about that joke or her that day that made her snap like that, but what I meant when I said you weren't wrrong is that you're not a terrible or malicious person and you didn't mean it. I don't get that at all. Like yeah you made the joke, but you owned up to it and that matters more. She needs to work all this out for herself. You did your part, and you're still a good friend. And like you said, you don't have to always deal with (future) situations like that.
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Thanks Candeh. I know I curse a lot on here, and can attack like a baricuda if lashed out at, but I'm generally easy-going, and quiet--not to mention a FIERCE friend if I feel you're being real with me. We'll have our disagreements, we'll have our catfights, but you will always feel my love/care/concern for you if you truly mean anything to me. Otherwise, you'll get left behind, because I'm good at discarding people that are of no use/concern to me.
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Omg, neka! She went to the SUPERVISOR??! WTF?! Why didn't she just come to you???!!!!!
UGH! I can't...I just can't...
I'm sorry, but I will NOT go to no damn supervisor unless I TRIED to talk to you, and things just got worse and I felt the need to protect myself.
What the hell is wrong with everybody lately?!
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Posted by CLCNY30
Posted by Candeh15
Posted by CLCNY30

We've always had wonderful communication. Like I said, we were friends. We talked to each other without the use of jokes plenty of times before. She seemed to feel comfortable sharing with me, and I felt comfortable coming to her to share as well. It's why I was taken aback.


I'm a huge dirty joker too and really sarcastic, so I know where you are coming from. I can say that I don't know what it was about that joke or her that day that made her snap like that, but what I meant when I said you weren't wrrong is that you're not a terrible or malicious person and you didn't mean it. I don't get that at all. Like yeah you made the joke, but you owned up to it and that matters more. She needs to work all this out for herself. You did your part, and you're still a good friend. And like you said, you don't have to always deal with (future) situations like that.


Thanks Candeh. I know I curse a lot on here, and can attack like a baricuda if lashed out at, but I'm generally easy-going, and quiet--not to mention a FIERCE friend if I feel you're being real with me. We'll have our disagreements, we'll have our catfights, but you will always feel my love/care/concern for you if you truly mean anything to me. Otherwise, you'll get left behind, because I'm good at discarding people that are of no use/concern to me.
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Oh yeah, I never doubted that lol. I don't think you ever really mean ill will towards others. I'm sorry things had to turn out the way they did.
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seing your opinopns here i'm curious why things between a vorgo&cap went wrong? Logiclly,you're an earths signs
In such caces it seems the astrology don't play a part.
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Posted by CappyyLuv30
Posted by CLCNY30
Posted by CappyyLuv30
Dirty talk/jokes must be an earth element thing LOL or a latina thing. Winking
I'm the same way with my friends. I posted on Wednesday on FB "Cha cha today!" announcing my excitement about cha cha cha class and one of my friends commented "I got your cha cha right here bish!" LMAO that ish just makes me laugh. Smh.


now you KNOW i'ma need to add you to my friend list right??? I dont know why I didn't think to ask if you were on FB!!!
PMing


One Cap replaced, one added. LMAO. So wrong cappyluv, wrong! Tongue
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\
LMFAOOOOOOOOO
gtfout my head, cuz I just whispered that chit aloud: "ironic, replacing one cap with another", LMFAOOOOOOOOO!!!
fuk it though, and no matter what I'm not adding her back to my friend list. I don't know what else she could see, that doesn't even HAVE anything to do with her, that she'll take offense to. I can't be bothered.
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Posted by quo vadis?
seing your opinopns here i'm curious why things between a vorgo&cap went wrong? Logiclly,you're an earths signs
In such caces it seems the astrology don't play a part.


Personally, I think it was said here already: we're very similar, but in diff. ways...if that makes sense. We don't mind being in on a joke, but to be the butt of it...depending on the individual, we may react diff. but we'll get really sensitive about it.
My defense mechanism is to just retreat, and go about my business. I think people perceive this as me not caring, but I'm actually feeling pretty low and hurting a lot, I just can't let it stop me from getting a job done.
Like how she took off today, I'm here--I got work to do, fuk a joke. And if th tables were turned, and she made ME the butt of a joke that I took to heart, I'd STILL be here. Like I said, I got work to do.
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I can only empathise with people who have their facts straight and make sense.
If you have no facts, make no sense and are just being emotional for the heck of it, no empathy for you.
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Posted by Candeh15
Posted by CLCNY30
Posted by Candeh15
Posted by CLCNY30

We've always had wonderful communication. Like I said, we were friends. We talked to each other without the use of jokes plenty of times before. She seemed to feel comfortable sharing with me, and I felt comfortable coming to her to share as well. It's why I was taken aback.


I'm a huge dirty joker too and really sarcastic, so I know where you are coming from. I can say that I don't know what it was about that joke or her that day that made her snap like that, but what I meant when I said you weren't wrrong is that you're not a terrible or malicious person and you didn't mean it. I don't get that at all. Like yeah you made the joke, but you owned up to it and that matters more. She needs to work all this out for herself. You did your part, and you're still a good friend. And like you said, you don't have to always deal with (future) situations like that.


Thanks Candeh. I know I curse a lot on here, and can attack like a baricuda if lashed out at, but I'm generally easy-going, and quiet--not to mention a FIERCE friend if I feel you're being real with me. We'll have our disagreements, we'll have our catfights, but you will always feel my love/care/concern for you if you truly mean anything to me. Otherwise, you'll get left behind, because I'm good at discarding people that are of no use/concern to me.


Oh yeah, I never doubted that lol. I don't think you ever really mean ill will towards others. I'm sorry things had to turn out the way they did.
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Awww, thanks smile
Hopefully, when she comes in on Monday she's not still distraught about it because I really don't need to be called into my boss' office over something she should be able to approach me about.
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@CLCNY30: Thank you for the insight you gave ,actually it's a lesson of proffessionalism valuable for me.
I think you'll sign a peaceful treatysmileall is well when it ends well
@cajunspirit: Facts with sense,ok ,but what about if the same these facts carry also an emotional aspect ,depending on the personal's point of view?
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@cajunspirit: i mean you just sit there,weighting out & trying to be objective like Themis .../*shrugs shoulders*/
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@CAPPYYLUV30: "This wasn't directed to me but I wanted to say that it's about the delivery. If the person comes all crying and whining about it instead of just talking about it like an adult, I can't deal. You can spit facts without being emotional. I am sensitive enough to 'sense' emotions behind words, just don't add water."
if you think we try with water to get some compassion,you're not on the right way.Water could flow if we're moved ,but not in puplic.I did it 1 time on a happy occasion-one of my birthdays
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Why would you assume so quickly that she was crying about the joke? If I joke with a friend all the time, and I walk back and see them crying I wouldn't automatically assume that they were crying because of a joke I made, UNLESS I knew in the back of my mind I pushed it too far. The intentions were probably not to harm or hurt, but did you ever feel at any time you were pushing it?
Also, you should have genuinely apologized, and left it at that. When I'm angry I like for people to be apologetic, but I don't like for them to apologize over and over again, and I HATE for someone to get defensive if they upset me. I think you blocking her could have irritated her more. I find that the best way for me to get over how I'm feeling is to lash out occasionally and the best thing anyone can do is be sorry from a distance. Don't bother me, don't get defensive, and don't think I should be over it after a certain time. Just give me my space yet let me know your still near. That's what I do for friends. Some may look at it as coddling, but I look at it as letting people get over it their way at their own time.
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