Have you ever cheated on your partner?

Question for EVERYONE!!!!!

Have you ever cheated?

Why do you think you cheated?

Do you belive that once a cheater always a cheater or can a person change his/her ways?

Do you still cheat now?

Well Gemini_82grl, i was reading through all the boards that you posted this message on. there was one board where you posted that everyone seems to be answering the questions you wrote, but you seemed unhappy with most of the answers that you got. let me give you some Virgo insight...they answered you questions very well i think. each indivdual person gave you their thoughts...see this subject is not a subject of a right or wrong answer. This is one of many answers. Each person has a different view of cheating. Example: some one posted on one of the boards "MIND CHEATING". some ppl don't actually consider this to be cheating where as others do. I dated this guy once turned out to be a loser but this is one thing he told me that i will never forget and it made a lot of sense to me. If you cannot give yourself completley mind,body,heart and soul to someone then there really is no point on being with them. He believes that even thinking about being with someone else is cheating. but then again on yet another of your boards someone said that most men need to have fantasies, (both men and women) and any one who says other wise is lying to themselves and you. this is also true to some people. anyway my point here is that you have opened Pandora's box here with this question because everyone has always and will always have their own opnion on to what cheating is, reasons for doing it, and justifactions for doing it. some people do and others don't. Each person has their own opinion as to weather it is right or wrong.

"I dated this guy once turned out to be a loser but this is one thing he told me that i will never forget and it made a lot of sense to me. If you cannot give yourself completley mind,body,heart and soul to someone then there really is no point on being with them."


lol

"Have you ever cheated?"

Nope.

And of the 6 Virgo Males I know (including myself), only 1 is a cheater.

We may be pains in the ass, but we're FAITHFUL pains in the ass!

'If you cannot give yourself completley mind,body,heart and soul to someone then there really is no point on being with them."

F*****G Right........That's the way I feel. When I'm in a relationship, I give it ALL that I've got, even if it hurts....When it comes to being with that 'one' person.....that's not the time to clam up....That's actually my greatest fear in a relationship; being with someone who dosen't 'get me' and feeling alone and abandoned: that would just force me to pick fights and make you miserable. I'd rather fight for that perfection than to know I did nothing but make excuses for not getting there. If I'm in this thing, than I better be giving all I got: Passion.....Love, and complete acceptance for the person I'm with. I won't lie, I'm a hellifying, die-hard romantic, and want you to be put under the same spell I am.....That means giving of yourself and the secrets you have.......
When I say I love a person (I value that word above and beyond any other) that's it: forget about it, nothing changes.....I gaurd my feelings becuase that is the aspect of myself I'm most connected with and I'm not going to let some jackass come in and ruin that part: fuck that.....emotions like that mean everything to me. I can take just about anything else, but not someone who doesen't respect my heart and head....

......I'm not bothered by saying it either.....Now we can go on and act like it's childish and hide our feelings beucase adults say it's the proper way, but any ADULT worth their weight in their own shit knows that you've got to share what's going on within no one can do it all alone no matter what power you've got; but with the right people, otherwise you'll find someone thinking they've got control over you. I want to be with someone who's not afraid of strong emotions, someone who can read in between the lines and knows when 'no means yes'.....it's not hard to tell.

virgos? faithful? hahaaaaa!

some maybe, but not ALL...

the 2 virgos i know cheated, and one still cheats on his girlfriend, then buys her gifts to make her feel get over it lol...

oops.....i mean make her get over it

FloridaFemale: "People are human. No one gives themselves completley...."

maybe so for some. for others though such as Virgoexlated and myself. YES it is possible. Finding that one person who has as much passion as we do we give it our all. BUT there are not many of us out there. If you haven't done it you should try it. the best feeling in the world is knowing that you gave it your all "even if it hurts" would you rather regret the things in life you did do or the things you didn't do? me i would rather regret the things i did do. Cuz at least I tried, i know that everything that i do i give it my all Work, family, love. but mostly love, i have learned that life is nothing without love. maybe not necessarily relationships (haven't had too many good ones lol) but love for every thing. Have you ever been with someone who gives you themselves completley?? If you have than you KNOW that there is nothing greater than that. To have someone trust you completley, knowing that you have become the center of thier passion universe. that this person would give you the world was it possible, your partner is happy giving you everything, the best thing about people like us is that all we want to do is make you happy, to see you smile and we know we have done some good, and that you smile...because of us. you don't find to many people these days who are willing to give and not expect back. all we want is someone who will treat us with respect, and i don't think that is too much to ask for.

P-ANGEL: LOL I guess that's why we broke up he couldn't do the same for me that i did for him. He ended up leaving me for the Brod he was F*****G the entire three years we were together. LOL ironic isn't it.

well like I said "PANDORA'S BOX" a subject where no one will ever agree. Because we all have different views on love and life.

Virgo_84.

Thank you very much for your honesty. I do believe that Pandora's box is a very good theme for this subject.
The whole point for this topic was to see how different people really are and then maybe they could appretiate there differnces. If you check out the scorpio board I have started a big dispute. Maybe because scorpio's are "perfect" they never make mistakes. I dont know Im not going to point any fingers because then they will start to attack me personally. Not cool.... I have too big a heart and I enjoy learning about just how different people are I dont want arguments. Just knowledge.

So yes I definitly agree with you about too many opinions and everyone has a different outlook on cheating. But thats what Im here to learn.. 🙂

VE- All or nothing baby. Well said. If I cant give someone my all then I know they are not the right person for me. I have had lots of boyfriends but only one that I gave my all. It hurt like hell but I gave it my everything and it still didnt work. I learned many valuable lessons from my ex cap. But at least I wont have any regrets that I didn't do it... (Like virgo_84 said).. No regrets here....

You are who you are me being a very passionate person myself and yes I am alittle garded but I have found someone that can handle my passionate side. It doesnt scare him and him being very passionate with me as well.

Keep being you never change for anyone because there will always be someone out there that wants you for you. Not a fake...

Isn't irony funny as hell, V84?


I also believe in giving it my all, however, a problem arises when some people don't understand that giving another your all, doesn't equate to ALL of your whole being.

For instance ... people still have to have friends, and interets. We are being made up of a condition in which we want to love other souls. However, some people get jealous of just their partner having friends that they like to share in life.

I believe that a person can give mind, body and soul all the way, in the intimate aspect of the union .. however, not for the entirety of their life. For example: I love my mother (did, she's passed) .. love her to no end .. and there's no way another person could ever expect me to forsake that love and give only unto them my souls desire to love my mother.

So, anyway .. I know we were talking about intimate partners, however, I just wanted to express that it's impossible for a person to give their entire soul's love to just one person, exclusively. And unfortunately, I've actually met people who would get jealous of their partners sharing time with other people, even friedns and family, and would say such things as, "You don't love me", "Why don't you want me".

And words like that thrown at a partner who is embracing people they love, will lead to the cheating, it will push a person into another's arms.

OneSexyGem: "virgos? faithful? hahaaaaa!

some maybe, but not ALL..."

Of course, not ALL Virgos are faithful, just like not all Virgos are shy. But, I'll put more credence in Linda Goodman & the other astrologers than anyone's individual experiences, since they're supposed to be experts on the Signs.

"...one still cheats on his girlfriend, then buys her gifts to make her feel get over it lol..."

I bet that VirGuy has lots of Gemini in his chart... makes him a big flirt!

lol you know Dyar, I would not be surprised at all...i wish i remembered his birthday so i can find out....

but why it gotta be gemini, why not...libra or something 🙂

I know still makes me laugh to this day P-ANGEL

FF: i never said that we don't have fantasies we ARE all just human like you said. I'm not trying to make Virgos look perfect. we aren't lol. we are a little spontaneaus, and don't always know what we want in life but when we see something we want we get it. it's all in the virgo stare lol.

lol @ FF

well I have not and will never cheat on my loved one.........I can't bare the thought of doing that to someone....it's heartbreaking to be on either side of the situation....I would just break up cause...... if I'm seeking sexual fulfillment somewhere else then there is something wrong in the relationship.....that and I just take relatinships seriously....so if anyone where to do that to me then....they are out of my life........mistake or not.......love or not....I just wouldn't feel comfortable anymore and would want out ASAP!

for me life is about surmounting obstacles.....getting over a fear, or anything else that stands in my way: i'm COMPLETELY intolerant to restrictions of ANY kind. You can't live your life in fear, or resentment, becuase only then you are at fault, and at loss. Giving my everything to my one and only where ever they are is the one idea that's kept me bouyant and hopeful when it comes to human nature and love:....it let's me know that beyond the need to control, perfect, and destroy for the sake of power, a human being can love, and change....We can release the deepest, darkest fears, and tendancies with the right person and they CAN love you for it lack of perfection: THAT can make you perfect, it can make you WHOLE. All my life I've never known anyone who truly knew me for ME, there is more to me than the surface reveals, and I reside underneath the mask of everyday life....I've been wondering who can understand this part of me, and love that part like I do? well that is what I'm still going for, and I refuse to give up, I can't......not for something I'm passionate about.

this thread has been a good read, thanks to all who have shared. I must ask Vguy's, to share their opinion, DY, especially please, So when a committed Vmale does cheat, and then walks clean, the one he knowingly cheated w/he express' to her "there i was minding my own business" following thoughts as to where she ends up "categorized" in his life or head?

I have cheated before but never again that was because i was not physically attracted to that person. I try to break it up but she wanted me so bad she wouldn't give. long story short we broke up after a couple of mouths. I think people cheat if they are not physically attracted,emotional, or sexually attracted to a person. when u have all three u should not cheat.

PGA,

I knew for YEARS before we divorced that it was over between me & LibraEX, and yet I never cheated on her...

Not because I'm a saint, but because when I commit to someone, I try my best to honor that commitment...

After the divorce, I went through a period similar to my 20's - lots of one-nighters for sex, but I never made any of those women believe it was anything more than that.

Dy ~ thanks

I touched upon this subject in a previous post as well and we had spoken of several conclusions based on either being a Virgo or past experience with one. It was said:

"* Perhaps the cheaters are the ones who have already given up on marriage/partner.
* Perhaps they want to secure a relation with someone else first, before they cut their ties completely with their mate.
* Perhaps there are those who stay with wife/partner just because of convenience/children and have found they can get away with cheating (I would think this is VERY rare with virGuys)

So it is hard to speculate on reasons, but I do agree cheating is not common for virgo males. Once they commit within THEIR standards, I find they are pretty safe, even if they flirt, it doesn't mean much." - I agree with previous posts here because I do know for the most part that Virgo men are very honorable and honest.

I for one, have a Virgo friend I've known for almost 10 years that is married the past 4 (they dated 2 yrs before that) to another Virgo and has 2 young children.

The feedback I have gotten from him is this... I am never appreciated for the nice things I do. She does not reciprocate. There is almost zero sex, so can we not go there. We fight a lot, but we seem to agree on how the children are raised. She is very possessive and is a Borderline like my mother but... I thought marrying her would set her mind at ease, calm her down and things would change after we settled in. I knew better than my family, my bad.

He has been emotionally cheating the last 18 months with someone at work. Hasn't crossed the physical line yet, but emotionally and verbally (sexual) it has.

I said, do you want to be with your wife any longer? Is that why you're acting like this? He said I want out...I don't want to be here anymore... I am not in love with her, but I need to make sure my kids are taken care of as I made a commitment and she is unstable. I want my kids with me.

I think Gem Angel and I talked about Virgos perhaps wanting to secure something before they leave. I don't know. I am a Virgo myself and I think the reason I was so curious is that I was trying to understand my Virgo friends's behavior. I have known him a long time as an honest friend in all aspects of his life and I have never known him to act this way in the past. It is very strange.

Me, I only cheated once in the past when I was in a 5 year relationship. I was only 21, young (duh) when I left. But I was abused verbally, unappreciated, non reciprocated, annoyed, had enough, done my best ... over and out! Of course that was 20 years ago when this happened.

Anyone feel free to offer an opinion here. I am just as perplexed as probably everyone else on this post.

I am not in love with her, but I need to make sure my kids are taken care of as I made a commitment...

That's the way I felt for about the last 4 years with LibraEX.

But, unlike the VG you know, I did not flirt with other women. I understand the nature of temptation, and I did not open up that door - for my Daughter's sake.

The divorce was HARD, but LibraEX & I are on speaking terms today because we both honored our commitment to our child.

Not because I'm a saint, but because when I commit to someone, I try my best to honor that commitment...

Point taken ...

Yes I have cheated.

I cheated because I was utterly flustered with my significant other at the time trying to control who I spoke to and what I do.

I do not believe once a cheater always a cheater.

I do not cheat now.

Ton~ yes we have spoken of it. I can tell you, he was truly tormented, i could see that, yet, he stated he wanted the divorce and he took nothing, they had no children and had been married 13 years and 18 in the relationship, it took alot for him to even remove the ring, his commitment, and he did tell me, he did not give up, and that is part of what was tearing him up, he also stated during out most recent talk that she would not give him sex either.......idk, my opinion of him, he is a good man, a honorable man, a keeper, very worthy of any cost, very deep, trusting, solid, dependable, caring, emotional (privately), open(with me), honest, and there is nothing more i could possibly want in a man. Out of hurt and disgust, i feel played, alot of it is not understanding how he does what he does and why he does what he does, the way he does it with "us". I personally think, he has left alot of their baggage on my back along w/blame. guilt. i think its a tragedy really, but something he must work out, i hope he has finally done that. which is why, so far, in the past year plus, i have been there when he called, every time a solid foundation/friend, confidant, not every time as a lover, i had to set some boundaries, which i feel he has ignored. he did tell me also this last talks, he lied to his wife, he has not lied to me. i feel he has not been completely honest with me, i do not think its intentional, but, then again, he has my heart. it is strange and so hard to discuss and try to explain.

"Out of hurt and disgust, i feel played, alot of it is not understanding how he does what he does and why he does what he does, the way he does it with "us". I personally think, he has left alot of their baggage on my back along w/blame. guilt."

Played in what manner? Explain the baggage situation.

"he did tell me also this last talks, he lied to his wife, he has not lied to me. i feel he has not been completely honest with me, i do not think its intentional, but, then again, he has my heart. it is strange and so hard to discuss and try to explain."

Complete honest about?

Just trying to clarify the situation.

"Out of hurt and disgust, i feel played, alot of it is not understanding how he does what he does and why he does what he does, the way he does it with "us". I personally think, he has left alot of their baggage on my back along w/blame. guilt."

Played in what manner? Explain the baggage situation.
Played as in he calls, he wants to see me, what he wants is a piece of ass. He wants to come unload all of his stress and personal stuff going on, his x-wife, his son, his brother, his mother, his bills are "williams", he is a busy man, his x-wife not giving him sex, her and him needing more physical distance from her (living towns apart already), which tells me he is not over her, imo. his illness(cancer), the treatments last year, etc.......played for a fool, played for a satisfaction time period, cause when he disappears, he will disregard my text or and call. and no, i dont keep trying. He comes on strong, leaves w/no closure or notice for long periods of time, too long.


cont

"he did tell me also this last talks, he lied to his wife, he has not lied to me. i feel he has not been completely honest with me, i do not think its intentional, but, then again, he has my heart. it is strange and so hard to discuss and try to explain."

Complete honest about?
what is going on there, if he is going to mention her to me, then it should be a open subject. and i dont feel it is. i really dont wanna know, if he is not done w/her, he should go try to make it work. He comes to me and says he has not been w/anyone else, i didnt ask, i expect he would have been, shoot, this has happened like this more than once, this last time, 5 months i didnt see him. I started the friendly text, he took it to another whole level, i thought maybe he was ready........boy, was i wrong. and after reading the other thread adn remembering in may i asked him not to come to me for a booty call and he just did that, i give him too much credit. He wants to go do others, i understood that last year when he left his wife 2007, and divorced her, blew my mind when he did all of that and came to me. i would not and did not stay involved so that if it were the case, he would work it out. idk, i told him when i left my relationship of 18 years i was done, i have no understanding of his skewed thoughts that are not accurate. and yet he NEEDS them to be. He told me i and one relative(male) were the only two who "knew everything" and had been there for him, he is sooooo deep when we are together and yes i am too, i do rally to the occassion, at this point, i am thinking "my bad".

He told me too much, i didnt ask for that information. I tried to keep it where he now wants it, and now i dont want it there. sex. he doesnt want to be responsible for anyone else's emotions. he is not, i told him as much, i am responsible for my own emotions and how i feel, i must say, he made me go here, him and all that he said to me, he is a one woman man, whatever, he wants to have sex like he did b4 he got married, i call bullshit on that too, he could and wouldnt, nope, he would not. he told me that too say he is being honest w/me. no he is not, first, he has to be honest w/his self. looking back here, i see where when i denied him sex for a couple months, i did lay it out not to hit me up like a common call girl, tricks dont get no love, he asked me what had to happen b4 he could come over, i already knew then he was not ready yet, and denied him. in may, he spoke of marriage, in a "scenario" way, told me he didnt want to be anywhere else w/anyone else, he disappeared for 5 months, i didnt ask for that either, those are unnecessary lies, that ultimately, hurt me, because i do believe in him, i do trust him, i do love him, i do honor him, i do like him, i do feel him, i do "get him" as he said, i do understand what he is going through as much as he allows me, i do want to grow old w/him, i knew that before may, in my heart and my head, i knew it, the connection he expressed, w/me, i feel it too, but to leave me alone, in the cold, w/no regard, now that is just plain nasty player played fool. that is me

baggage, i believe because he broke his commitment to her, he cheated on her w/me, then he left her and seen me again, in less than thirty days from the day i met him, he had left in less than a week, moved into his place and they filed for divorce. I met him 9-07, divorce was finale 12-07 by oct, i had quite seeing him and did not see him again until after the divorce was finale. that was a long time too, the connection and feelings were there, they just happened, i was looking or intending. honestly, i was trying to be selfish and he caught my eye, if had not come to my table after another man told him he had my attention, i would never have went where we ended up. i wanted to ravish him and never see him again, then i wouldnt have to feel anything, for i was in turmoil over the aqua male and out to self destruct at the time, man, was i bad. that was first and last for me w/virgo male, and he is not aware of that, i believe he blames me cause how he says "i was over there minding my own business" meaning the night we met. he has it in his head, i approached him, which in the end, i did. my bad. i asked him, "how faithful r u" in which he replied "i dont have much time" i said, "i will take what i can get" talk about easy easy easy foolish stupid yeppers that was me at the time. so far from who and what i really am. i set here in tears, just telling it, cause we both got hurt, god has a way of making sure of it, by the same token, he made a choice, as did i, i dont know what more i can do, i did not break up his marriage. he said the divorce had nothing to do w/me. we discussed this the second time i seen him.

now, this time around, we have not seen each other in 5 months at this point. only friendly text for maybe a couple months on an off, sports and such. He invites me over to his place, and of course, i go. I go in w/the mind frame of a good time and i am gone. He opens his trap/mouth again, this time he sweeps me off my feet, literally and states that is his intentions and carries me to bed, oh my! I am "his girl" my girl as he said it exactly. prior to this in may he wanted to make sure he left a indelible impression on me, when i asked him to explain, that explanation was of this "there goes a man w/the perfect amount of snap in his hips, damn!" with this the "sweeping me" off my feet, was literal and verbal. He and i seen each other from Halloween, til Dec 15th or so. last text, Christmas eve. during this time frame, i tell him to keep close, he says to keep him close, he is worth it. i tell him again "if a man wants to be there, he will be there" he states, he wants to be there, at his leisure. selfishly. he states he wants to have sex like he did b4 marriage, well, he didnt come and get that at all, yet swears he aint going elsewhere either. we had our first real disagreement this round, i told him i didnt want to change him, he looked at me like he couldnt believe that, the look in his eyes was of disbelief, i dont, i really either want him, or want him to leave me in peace and not come take pieces of my heart to fill his own needs. be a man about it. i am being a woman about it. and no, its not easy. the last time i seen him, he gave me every impression we were fine, he is gone. without a word, closure, reason, i got hurt, i got left alone, not knowing. dont tell me you got cancer and disappear, this is just not actions from someone who gives a shit really, hard to swallow, but, i still work on closure everyday. i just dont want no one else, i ran out this door into the aqua's arms this week, bad decision again, but i will be honest, for that is why i am here, others can see what i can not.

he has told me more than once, let me court you. in may, i backed off an gave him the court, he did not come, when he said that to me this time, i said no, you wont. and this time, when he said, be patient and keep doing what you are doing. lies, all lies, meaningless words w/no actions, no intentions of actions. he said what do you think i been doing the past months, seeing someone else, my reaction "well yah" no, i have not been cheating, i said to him "its not cheating when you are not committed" we have no commitment, and i told him this time last year, he holds the key to me being a one man woman. just tell the hot blond bombshell what i have too so that i can get back in the bed, that is how he left me feeling, i feel like the fool he sees me to be.

"Played as in he calls, he wants to see me, what he wants is a piece of ass. He wants to come unload all of his stress and personal stuff going on, his x-wife, his son, his brother, his mother, his bills are "williams", he is a busy man, his x-wife not giving him sex, her and him needing more physical distance from her (living towns apart already), which tells me he is not over her, imo. his illness(cancer), the treatments last year, etc.......played for a fool, played for a satisfaction time period, cause when he disappears, he will disregard my text or and call. and no, i dont keep trying. He comes on strong, leaves w/no closure or notice for long periods of time, too long."

Wow 🙂 that's a long story! This first part... most Virgos are busy especially with work. As for his ex-wife along with everything else going on, I don't think he is affording himself the opportunity to decompress, disappear for a while - handle his business.. cancer, establishing boundaries with the ex-wife, physical distance. Of course he needs to do this. He must distance himself to not only move on, but to let go of her. They have quite a history.

This board has already established that when VM's need time to themselves, they disappear and reappear when they are ready to deal with the world again and are done analyzing their emotions and properly placing them where they belong safely. To me VM disappearances are second nature. Once you understand the dynamic of why they do it, you are better equipped to handle it if you are secure with yourself. It's how they operate.

The closure and no notice things are no intentional I would think, just what he needs to go through to get to where he needs to be in "his time".

link to thread from May i am speaking and referring too

But you do need to go by actions rather than words. He should not be throwing them around carelessly. If he makes statements, he should back them up with sheer actions. This is not to say the actions will happen overnight. He definitely has his plate full and needs time "his own alone time" to get through this by analyzing everything in his life and getting to a comfortable place again so he can be free to follow his own path to what he wants. After such a long marriage, he probably has no clue as to what or where that is going.

He sounds very confused and it seems to me that he trusts you deeply and feels safe. However, he can't being doing the push/pull and booty call thing with you carelessly. He already knows what it's like to have sex with you, so as P-Angel said in the May thread, not having sex (putting your foot down)... might be the best decision here and trying to re-establish the "mind" part if you can at this point.

Being a confidant or friend can be hard after having emotions run amuck in a Gemini head. But in the end, that may be all you have left. Seems to me even though he was fresh out of an old relationship, he came to you and you walked away, even after the divorce. Not right or wrong, but maybe the wrong thing to do with him. However your self-worth and happiness is paramount. Bottom line.

"which is why, so far, in the past year plus, i have been there when he called, every time a solid foundation/friend, confidant, not every time as a lover, i had to set some boundaries, which i feel he has ignored."


He has ignored the sexual boundaries because everytime he beckons, you go running .... every time, you said.

In your mind, you have it categorized as friends, but, that's just in your head PGA .. in his head, you make yourself available everytime he needs to use you for something.

You are upset because of this usage he does to you, while recognizing that he is actually dumping on you .... but, not able to wrap this around to full circle. You are able to stand back and say .. look what is happening here, but, not able to help yourself from letting it happen to you by running towards him everytime he is in need to take from you again without giving.



"he did tell me also this last talks, he lied to his wife, he has not lied to me. i feel he has not been completely honest with me, i do not think its intentional, but, then again, he has my heart."


Because he has your heart, you can even recognize lying to you, and you have found reasons to justify it so you can remain hopeful that one day he will have a change of heart and regard you differently.


Everything that is going on here, according to what you write, is all about your feelings for him have your reasonability shadowed ... it is clear what you are writing here, and describing a man who is taking advantage of you while you let him, and call it love.


PGA ... remove yourself from your feelings, let the other twin step inside of you for a second and read what you've written about him from a perspective that doesn't have heart-investment.

Ton, I didnt see what you have hidden, ?

If he makes statements, he should back them up with sheer actions
I agree.

He definitely has his plate full and needs time "his own alone time" to get through this by analyzing everything in his life and getting to a comfortable place again so he can be free to follow his own path to what he wants
He he has expressed to me, that he is on his own time line, i dont think he understands or considers, i am on mine too, or what mine is.

I have agreed w/this the whole way.

so as P-Angel said in the May thread, not having sex (putting your foot down)... might be the best decision here and trying to re-establish the "mind" part if you can at this point.

I actually did this prior to May of 2008, from jan08 til May of 08 we did not have any sexual contact, that was of my refusal and putting my foot down, refusing to be a booty call or trick or treated like a common call girl. This was said to him, expressed, and put out in simple language, and discussed in May when he came around.

Being a confidant or friend can be hard after having emotions run amuck in a Gemini head. But in the end, that may be all you have left.

I had gotten there, when i was "friendly texting" him in Sept and Oct. I never ever suggested a thing, not at all. I had accepted we should be friends, and i would put my feelings aside and be just that as he imo had shown me he needed from me. I dont think he "needs" my sex. One friend has a point, he seems to come to me when he needs to feel something real, well, i am not that food either. feel me?

Seems to me even though he was fresh out of an old relationship, he came to you and you walked away, even after the divorce

NO, i walked away when he walked from his wife and was doing relationship verbals and booty call actions. knowing he had things to work through and not wanting to be a rebound relationship which usually dont work out and we didnt know each other, i knew alot from inside me, not so much from him yet at this point, but then again, i am usually pretty good at reading people and he his self said, i had not given him one bad piece of information and i had been "right" each time. This was another boundry we discussed an i set in place.

Not right or wrong, but maybe the wrong thing to do with him

IMO, i could have been bathtub shallow, selfish and moved right into the spot he removed her from, most females would, that is not me, as i have told him, i want him, completely where he wants to be, and only if he really wants to be there (with me). I am not and would not come between he and his wife as i did one night only. that really is NOT me, but it was that night, i own that. If i had of done this, just stayed involved w/him, fucked his brains out and let him flood his void w/me, i am sure, the good man he truly is deep inside, would have never stayed w/me for the long haul, and that would have been worse, than taking a chance worth taking, he would have been worth it. Wide open space is what i gave him, while remaining honest and true to me, i dont need him to say "what happened" or "what is wrong" no no, i need him to say goodbye, this is not working for me right now, i thought i was ready, i am not, whatever, something! That would let me know he did/does care, truly, not just words, that he does not want to disappoint me, but nope, all he showed me, is that it was always about him, and never really about me, those are his issues, i can not fix those, he has too.

PAngel~ let me not make this so long hopefully. sorry TON! I have been there for him every time, i did not have sex every contact, let me make that clear, i am grown, i have tried to use my head here. see above post for clarity on dates and our convo's here PA.

He called me friend, his category, he opened his arms as wide as he could adn said i like you this much. he then said "confidant, friends and on occasions lovers" after i referred to him as a lover and he is not my friend, friendship is a two way road, he does not travel his side when wanted or needed. IMO

Lying, this is what he said to me, i dont buy it, although he is convincing and i really would hate to be wrong about it, that would hurt worse than being lied too.

It is all about my feelings for him PA, you are correct, I am all i have to deal with on this subject, he is not around, we dont speak, we dont text, its about me, my closure and what i went through, where i am w/it really and deeply, as well as what i will do in the future if the occasion were to come again. He is taking advantage is how i feel, so you read me correctly, this is what i see from actions vs. words. I love him, that does not mean it is reciprocated, which is okay.

the other twin, she is a bad bitch, i dont want anyone to see her or know she even is a part of me, evil evil bitch! i have to control that bitch, otherwise, people just get hurt, shocked, and terribly disappointed in me.

Hey!..I have a venus in Sagitarius...I would never cheat...but the eye does wander..lol

I am soo utterly consumed with the one I am with..that giving anyone else a chance is beyond comprehension...one man woman me..

I just wouldn't feel comfortable anymore and would want out ASAP!"
this way looks better....
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That's exactly what I did, when the virgo ex cheted on me, after 3 years of relationship with me. He used smart mental games,but, I found out. He is at the moment with a cap with exact same DOB as mine and using all the tricks he used with me to trap her.
Initially he had some concerns about us for some cultural difference between us, ironically the new cap he is with now, has same "issues" he had pointed out in me!
The reasons I see, for him running after her has lot to do with her money and status, as well as her being a stage artist. This virgo wants to use her visibility to boost his image.

As weird as it may sound, even after I broke up with him and he is showing everyone that he is with her, he had been checking my online pictures! I closed that link, how I know , it was him checking my pictures, it is because, two of us had created that portfolio with exclusive link for him. In that sense, he is with her, but still thinking of me. I wonder he is seeing me in her + extra benifits of more money. That is mental cheating and I think he is dishonest to all, himself, her and me. He has screwedup a loving, steady, solid relationship for materialistic gains. Seems to me, with the speed of dating, display and drama they are going with- may get them married soon! He is using all the things that I liked to please her, because both of us are caps. At his end, its more sort of game rather than an emotional attachment, because, he did not waste a day after I kicked him out of my place. He went to please her as soon as he could, the very next day!!! So, perhaps he never loved me, all along he played head games, adapted my hobbies, copied me which I though was "special" for me and was only for me. Now, he is repeating same things for her!

I thought to break my silence by writing a letter to that new cap AFTER they get married! Seriously, for once I want to fool him and teach him a lesson like he fooled me for three years. Then again I am thinking that will hurt the other cap more than this bastard.
He is being what he is not, by wearing a personality he is not to suit to her personality, which is fooling her like he did with me.

When do people like him get lessons for their bad deeds?

Looking at more status and more money, all of a sudden all of his "values" , "standards" and "principles" are changed! He can cover him up by saying it is because he is "truely in love with her" so he has changed to make her happy! Hey, any one would buy that BS.

hahhaha!

Point being... many people don't get that clue in life. They do not find the value within themselves.

The signs are all there that one of the individuals in the relationship wants out regardless of how they do it...yes cheating is wrong but, it happens. Many of us have been there.

There is also the other side... the doormats that continue to take back the other over and over again, expecting the results to be the different. You cannot make someone love you, marriage... dating... regardless.

Having self worth and respect allows you to move on with your head held high knowing you deserve the best.

Perhaps they want to secure a relation with someone else first, before they cut their ties completely with their mate.
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What exactly is it? It is cheating and is also being selfish.
One thing very sure, when a virgo cheats, s/he does it in the smartest way, it would not be easy to detect that easily.They tend to become even more smarter when that happens, those perfectly planned head games to fool you and to use you as long as they can , all to get the other one using you!!!
Some of these virgos can be worse than criminals because they do not have souls and they are not sensitive to think about the damage they do to the one whom they cheat. It becomes very hard to trust any one for me now that I was given this treatment by this ex-virgo. No matter how hard I try, lately I am suspecting motives of my own family members and then I cry when alone to think something like that for them.
This is bad...

Virgo is no different than any other sign or gender that cheats. Head games and planning can come from any source. I think you are taking your anger and disappointment and projecting it on Virgos in general and that's just not right.

If you are not trusting family and crying when alone those are sure signs of depression and I suggest for your best interest, you seek counseling. Many times, the "perception" of the situation engaged with our emotions is quite different from the reality.

Regardless of why he chose her, those are his own reasons, selfish as they may seem to you. Just as you would be entitled to choose someone you want. This is part of life. The way he went about it is wrong and you cannot judge a population on a single person's actions. He chose what he felt he wanted, good or bad... you cannot save the world.

At this point any contact with them...letter writing campaigns and interference will only make you look unstable and out of control with your life and emotions. This is completely unhealthy. If you are better than this and love yourself, you will pick yourself up by the bootstraps, focus on YOU, get some counseling and move on with your life.

Sometimes we have no choice but to let go and walk away. Let him have her! Let her find out for herself what she is dealing with. For all you know he will not treat her as he treated you. But moving forward this should not be your concern. You should be happy to have been freed of this before it was too late.

I do wish you the best.

focus on YOU
***
That's exactly what I did, by kicking him and his family out of my mind. Since I do not pick up calls from any of them, his sister wrote me an email about how "crazy" this virgo has become for that cap. His family thinks the other cap is tricking him in, which I do not buy as this virgo is a master seducer and great artist to trick any one in. His family thinks this virgo his after status and is making mistake by going after that cap, who they say is a hot headed woman. I do not care, for any of them. I thought I had forgotten him, apprently the email brought it all back and I am very unhappy at the moment.

As for him treating her "different" I can tell you from what I had seen so far, he is using the same tactics he used to trick me in, copying me, chasing me, following me, adpating to my interests and many subtle things.. He is repeating the same with her, seems to me for him tricking girls is just hobby or a game, the moment he sees working with one he runs after the "better", bad I reliazed it after long time. He is a player and I got played very bad, that's what is hurting me. How can some one fool me for so long , what was wrong with me?

I thank God for shoing me his real side,but, at the same time I feel life did not treat me fairly, I have been extremely loyal to him and he could not do the same to me...

I wish some day some one betrayes him, for him to learn a lesson how it feels when we are the victim! I also, wish he never gets true love,but, conditional love based on many terms and conditions and oh full of status and money but without deep intimacy.
I wish one day he realizes money can buy everything but true happiness and love. I wish one day he cries for real love but does not have it around, and the day he reliazes it must come very late without offering him a chance to correct his mistake! I wish he laughs on surface for the rest of his life to cover up his misery and internally he becomes as restless as I am today because of him, absolutely without a peace of mind.
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It is not about him going for some one else, it is the cunning way he tried to act as if nothing had happened / happening and his coward way of hiding it. I am a person who does not believe using force of any kind in these matters, if he had been honest I would have respected him, problem is part of him still loves him,but, no matter how hard I try I can not respect him. I did not know he was this weak for status/money/glamour! He has made me loose my faith in people in general and this is the same person who had given me long lectures about moral, standards, ethics, commitment, values and what not! He is a multifaced person, on the surface some one else, internally a pure evil who wears a mask of thinking he is the best of all in every way, truth is, he is worse than an average person when it comes to morals.