I was with my Virgo for 2 yrs and 3 months... We had a very rough falling out shortly after I moved away for work.
One argument led to another, then we just completely stopped talking. I tried to give him a call when I was in town over Christmas break and he completely ignored me... I've deleted all of his contacts and every form of communication/connection with him since (I've deactivated all of my social networking sites so I'm not pestered by his and his friends' updates of them out having a great time), figured it's best to be in the dark and heal. Can't believe it's been completely dead silent for 3 months.
What a crazy whirlwind it's been and I never thought he'd be capable of hurting me this way.
You deactivated and disconnected every form of communication, explain to me again why you are upset as to why he hasn't been able to contact you?
You see whenever you cut off someone you hope will contact you in the future, you have to at least leave one means of communication. Do you at least still have your cell phone number?
I have known my virgo guy for the past 7 months but last 3 months were the one when we actually started to communicate regularly, as he disappeared after the first 2 days chat (btw met him on a social site). Came back after nearly four months said he felt strongly for me , was looking for serious committed relationship , so was I. He declared his love for me first , asked for total commitment etc, which both of us were fine with. We even have plans to get married by the end of the year !
He is perfect in every sense whether it's looks, profession or feelings. He is practical and of course critical, typical virgo, somehow copes with my emotional side (am a cancer woman)but despite all said and done can very easily detach himself.
On valentine he did all from chocolates to card to lunch everything but i acted dumb didn't even give him a card , yeah sigh! silly me , now after 3 days he has told me how disappointed he was and not ready to forgive me for it . I asked what he wants , he said he doesn't know.
I really love him , know he loves me too. I told him i was genuinely sorry and will do anything to make up for that blunder but he is not ready to forgive . What can i do ? Pleas can someone advice me how I can get my loving partner back
We both are very mature people ( don't sound like though) same age 40.
Thanks a lot for the suggestions clueless cancer , but i have only met him 3 times that too in a hotel! as both of us are professional with extremely busy life plus my motherly commitments as well.
So at the min the house thing is not so possible , is there something else i can do ? and what gift to give a guy who already have everything. I actually asked him what can i get him but he just said my love and now he is angry for not even getting a card !
I feel like an idiot for acting so dumb. Also , I wasn't sure how will he react if i got him a card or something on V day , that's the reason i held back . but now he is all angry and don't want to talk about it and i don't know if he is planning to leave already ...
Yesterday night he text saying we are not in a relationship now , WTF ! I'm really tired of his emotional withdrawal at times already in last 3 months he had done it 3 times ! one for each month.
I said sorry for the card thing and truly wanted to make up for it but he is so stubborn that he is not ready to listen. He said everyone got a card except him ! but surprisingly he was absolutely fine on 14th when i said i let him down. He answered just being with me was wonderful and he genuinely was happy. It's later after 2 days he had started with this tantrum n now won't accept my sincere apology.
I feel confused , shocked and hurt by the whole situation, can someone who claims to love you, wants you to be his wife, his valentine forever , who says he never felt so strongly for anyone else ,can give up so easily ?
This is my first virgo guy experience , so far what i read about them was they don't commit easily but if they do they won't leave you , be loyal and give you a stable and secure relationship for life.
Arrgh ! can someone give me some insight about this virgo guy what exactly is going in his mind as i don't think i have a clue whether he is /was sincere or just playing games.
hmmm @cancer1 are you guys really in a full on relationship? I know for me personally I do the push/pull during the courtship but once I'm in the relationship...I'M IN THE RELATIONSHIP! I'll still need my space but I don't break things off when I get upset, I just go in my corner and analyze how I feel and what I want to do next. I don't break things off unless I'm REALLY done! So I'm curious if you guys are really in a relationship or just beginning to commit to each other. If you're just beginning to commit to each other then he's likely just going through his stages of anger and needs some space to get over it. The Virgo phrase of the day is "DELAYED REACTION" we are the kings & queens of delayed reaction. You can do something to us and our immediate reaction might be to brush it off (because we're too busy thinking about other things to really absorb what you've done right this moment) but a day or so later when it begins to resonate that's when our real reaction and feelings will surface and that's when you will receive our real response. If you've wronged a Virgo in someway don't take their immediate reaction as how they feel...that's just an auto-pilot reaction. The real reaction will come in about 2 days, maybe longer depending on how bad you wronged them and how much other stuff they have going on. Give him some space to get over it...it sucks that you forgot and he's probably questioning your real feelings for him (so you will need to really lay it on thick when he comes back) but if he doesn't come back because of this he wasn't that into it to begin with. Good luck!
@neuroticvirgo , I leave it for you to decide what you think whether our's was a committed relationship or not . here is the full story :
To the best of my knowledge we were in the committed relationship , exclusive to each other .He was the one who will wake me up with a good morning and in between text or call when possible (we both are professionals) and then every night he would call and talk about how my day was and his and all sorts of things .
He always asked me if i missed him and love him, I always confirmed and so did he when i asked the same thing . When ever we met (3 times!) we had both enjoyed each other's company , sex was great as well on the second meeting , which was our first time. As he knew i had reservations with live in relationship ( due to my background) he himself suggested getting married once my divorce was sorted.We regularly talked about our future and that how happy he was with me.
I didn't forget the v day card but as my personal experience wasn't very great in my previous marriage i wasn't sure how he would react , i also dropped a hint saying what will he like for the valentine and he said nothing , has everything including me . I thought he was not into it , so didn't pursue my mistake but i really apologized and was ready to make up for it.
Will someone who is not so committed will go ahead making such plans ? I really love this man that i can't think of living my life without him , i know i sound like a sentimental fool but i felt our feelings were genuine for each other but his immature behavior and emotional withdrawal has completely devastated me .
I don't know what he really wants as last thing he said was ,'my feelings are hurt and i won't chat tonight' but before that he wrote 'there is no relationship now'
Will he come back like he always did in the past ?
@cancer1 so let me see if I have all of this straight: You've known each other for 7 months; 4 of which he disappeared. Then he comes back and says he wants to be with you. During the remaining 3 months he disappears 3 more times AND in the span of 7 months you've only seen each other 3 times. And you're finalizing a divorce. Is this correct? Are you guys in a long distance relationship? Have you ever been to his home or met any of his people? Are there kids involved in the divorce?
If the above is true there are some red flags that make me question just what kind of Virgo you've got here. 1st; if the above is correct then no, I would not consider this a full on relationship. At best you're beginning to commit to each other, at worst you may be a side-chick (sorry had to be said). I definitely pull my share of disappearing acts but I've never disappeared on someone for 4 months and if I were to disappear on someone for that long I certainly would not come back professing my love for them and asking for a relationship. 4 months has gone by I need to re-analyze you! This sounds more like the behavior you hear over there on the Taurus board. 2nd; his movements are far too inconsistent for this to be a relationship and would seriously cause my own Virgo antenna to vibrate. Not saying that something IS going on but it's all pretty random sounding to me unless I'm missing something. As for all the sweet things he's said; RED FLAG; it's too soon to be talking marriage/living together ESPECIALLY if you've only seen each other 3 times. I'm leery of men who profess things like this to me too soon. They are usually dopamine-heads who are addicted to that wonderful honeymoon phase but will be gone as soon as the fuzzy feelings fade. With men I tend to believe 30-50% of what they say and 100% of there actions and his actions scream not a full on relationship yet. This doesn't mean its not possible I would just try not to get so caught up in what he says and pay more attn to his actions. In the grand scheme of things what you did was not the worst thing so if he really likes you he will likely find his way back to you. Just make sure you're paying attn to the red flags and doing your research. Good luck.
@neuroticvirgo yeah it's a long distance relationship as we live in different cities. i have kids, he is single (that what he said ) haven't met any of his family members or friends yet ... and after reading what you have referred as RED FLAGS i myself can see so many ... i'm not even sure now whether he is a virgo or not to start with !
I only know what info was given by him and being a emotional cancer I easily believed what he said ( my experience with male gender in general is very limited)he is the only guy apart from my ex husband i came in close contact with and he knows that.
I don't know whether he was using me as his side chick ... but suddenly i am able to see so many things which i may had doubts but couldn't address them in the past. Thanks for the insight , please feel free to pass on any more useful advice if you have .
What if he reappears after sometime ? should I talk to him or just forget about the whole thing ?
Should I also ask him some straight forward questions related to his personal and professional life as i remember now i haven't got some satisfactory answers yet and yes his actions should match his words which actually is not happening in certain case.
once again thanks a lot , am feeling much better already !
@cancer1 well the LDR makes me feel a lot better about the fact that you guys rarely see each other. When you guys get together who comes to whom? Have you ever been to each others homes or seen each other in your comfort zones? I can't imagine talking marriage and living together with someone without ever seeing where or how they live. I'm not a Virgo man but I imagine that the Virgo man would feel quite similar.
"What if he reappears after sometime ? should I talk to him or just forget about the whole thing ?"
I can't really advise you on this; you really have to follow your gut and do what's best for you at the end of the day. You might want to spend this time away from him determining your own boundaries so that you have some lines that he is not allowed to cross. It can't just be a free for all, you have to decide what is and is not acceptable in this and future situations. Also, ask yourself if you were even ready for what he was proposing; just coming out of a divorce and all. Take those Cancer "rose-colored glasses" off and look at the situation logically and decide if it makes sense.
"Should I also ask him some straight forward questions related to his personal and professional life?"
If you decide to move forward I would DEFINITELY sit down and ask some real questions and demand real answers if he wants to move forward with you. If you guys are supposed to be in a relationship you should be somewhat free to ask questions like these.
I hope he's the real deal and just in an emotional funk...Good luck chica!
@neuroticvirgo , we always met half way , not been to his house or he to mine although just seen pics !
But after 3 days of no contact , am still feeling dull ache as i'm keeping myself busy .If we are meant to be together we will be but someone will have to do a lot of answering this time.
Once again thanks for your words of advice. 🙂
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One argument led to another, then we just completely stopped talking. I tried to give him a call when I was in town over Christmas break and he completely ignored me... I've deleted all of his contacts and every form of communication/connection with him since (I've deactivated all of my social networking sites so I'm not pestered by his and his friends' updates of them out having a great time), figured it's best to be in the dark and heal. Can't believe it's been completely dead silent for 3 months.
What a crazy whirlwind it's been and I never thought he'd be capable of hurting me this way.