He Called~~ Finally...
This topic was created in the Virgo forum by sophie68 on Tuesday, April 4, 2006 and has 56 replies.
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OK...so Virgo man finally just called.
Virgo "what are you doing?"
me "I'm working"
V- "Good suomeones got to support me"
Me= "So you want me to be your sugar mama huh?"
V-" Yes, thats what I need. I'm going ot New York on Friday so that should be fun. I'm leaving Friday, so what are you doing tonight?"
Me= "Well, I have got a lot of work to do and have an early conference call in the AM...so tonights not good"
V= Well, I have hockey Wed and Thurs so if you want to hook up after let me know. And swing by tonight if you can or call me when you have time available"
Me-" Ok let me see and I'll call u back"
So...tonight I really want in the mood for a "last minute date". So I was thinking of calling him tonight and say "I have dinner plans Thurs but will meet you after that and after your hockey"
What do you think...?
Virgo "what are you doing?"
me "I'm working"
V- "Good suomeones got to support me"
Me= "So you want me to be your sugar mama huh?"
V-" Yes, thats what I need. I'm going ot New York on Friday so that should be fun. I'm leaving Friday, so what are you doing tonight?"
Me= "Well, I have got a lot of work to do and have an early conference call in the AM...so tonights not good"
V= Well, I have hockey Wed and Thurs so if you want to hook up after let me know. And swing by tonight if you can or call me when you have time available"
Me-" Ok let me see and I'll call u back"
So...tonight I really want in the mood for a "last minute date". So I was thinking of calling him tonight and say "I have dinner plans Thurs but will meet you after that and after your hockey"
What do you think...?
Go for it. It was good you said you weren't free tonight (even if you were). You have to play a little hard to get so he doesn't think he can call you whenever he's free. You have to show backbone and you did. Now, since he called and told you his plans for the next days, you and he can agree about meeting on Thursday night. Lord knows you have waited a while for him to finally call you. It wasn't nice of him, however, to let you wait two weeks go by before calling you. Call him tonight and make the plans. Good luck and keep us posted.
Mystical
Mystical
BRANH~
I have tons of work to do tonight and cannot deal with going out. It was not playing a game...I have a conference call with Germnay at 5:30 in the AM.
I have tons of work to do tonight and cannot deal with going out. It was not playing a game...I have a conference call with Germnay at 5:30 in the AM.
Don't listen to Branh. You did the absolute right thing. Respect yourself and your time.
I am calling him tonight to make plans for Thursday. I am way behind in all of my work...I cannot drop work at a momments notice
Sophie,
No, He may not be playing a game like Branh says. He is doing worse. Not calling you for a long time and then calling you and expecting you to jump through hoops to see him at the last minute. He is being an insensitive jerk. If I were you I wouldn't be his after hockey date either. Does he ever make you first in his life? If he really wanted to see you that badly he would have called last week and set something up, not try to fit you in around his life. That kind of behavior will wear down your self esteem pretty fast. Whenever I catch myself starting to make escuses for these types of guys I re read my book he's just not that into you and it sets me straight. There are guys out there that want to put you first and have some respect. My advice is find yourself one of those before you get in to deep.
No, He may not be playing a game like Branh says. He is doing worse. Not calling you for a long time and then calling you and expecting you to jump through hoops to see him at the last minute. He is being an insensitive jerk. If I were you I wouldn't be his after hockey date either. Does he ever make you first in his life? If he really wanted to see you that badly he would have called last week and set something up, not try to fit you in around his life. That kind of behavior will wear down your self esteem pretty fast. Whenever I catch myself starting to make escuses for these types of guys I re read my book he's just not that into you and it sets me straight. There are guys out there that want to put you first and have some respect. My advice is find yourself one of those before you get in to deep.
Branh? That is exactly what she did. She told him she had too much work to see him tonight.
Umm Branh~
WHAT are you talking about??? Hold on to my word? I JUST spoke to him!
I said I would call him back tonight...he just an called an hour ago and I said I would get back to him tonight...tonight isnt even here yet! I've got tons of work to do, I was honest.
Jeesh!
Any by the way...we've been together 8 times in 2 months.
WHAT are you talking about??? Hold on to my word? I JUST spoke to him!
I said I would call him back tonight...he just an called an hour ago and I said I would get back to him tonight...tonight isnt even here yet! I've got tons of work to do, I was honest.
Jeesh!
Any by the way...we've been together 8 times in 2 months.
Sophie,
What I forgot to say is that you should give him a chance and the benefit of the doubt just in case he is insecure (which I doubt). Tell him in a nice way how you would like him to behave in the relationship. That would work much more than trying to play any games and pretend you are busy when you are not. (I know that you are not doing that now, but you know what I mean.)If you tell him that you have too much going on in your life to try to make last minute plans and that you would appreciate if he could ask you out in advance because you really like him and would like to be able to spend some quality time together instead of just getting together after his hockey. If he still disregards your feelings then send him packing. Even if he just agrees to make a plan one night a week and maybe you can be spontaneous every once in a while when time allows. If you allow him to do this now he will always do this to you. You can't wait until later to try to demand respect or he will just think you are crazy. Unless this really doesn't bother you but I think that this kind of treatment will really bug you later on.
What I forgot to say is that you should give him a chance and the benefit of the doubt just in case he is insecure (which I doubt). Tell him in a nice way how you would like him to behave in the relationship. That would work much more than trying to play any games and pretend you are busy when you are not. (I know that you are not doing that now, but you know what I mean.)If you tell him that you have too much going on in your life to try to make last minute plans and that you would appreciate if he could ask you out in advance because you really like him and would like to be able to spend some quality time together instead of just getting together after his hockey. If he still disregards your feelings then send him packing. Even if he just agrees to make a plan one night a week and maybe you can be spontaneous every once in a while when time allows. If you allow him to do this now he will always do this to you. You can't wait until later to try to demand respect or he will just think you are crazy. Unless this really doesn't bother you but I think that this kind of treatment will really bug you later on.
You read my post wrong Branh...
"Sophie you said you will call him back and you didn't. You didn't hold on to your word meaning you what you said can't be trusted. "
He asked about going out tonight and I said I had tons of work to do...not that I was busy, but the honest to god truth. Told him I would call him later and discuss another night if I couldnt make it tonight.
What is this with me not being trusted or keeping my word? Or that I didn;t call him back? My God...stop it.
"Sophie you said you will call him back and you didn't. You didn't hold on to your word meaning you what you said can't be trusted. "
He asked about going out tonight and I said I had tons of work to do...not that I was busy, but the honest to god truth. Told him I would call him later and discuss another night if I couldnt make it tonight.
What is this with me not being trusted or keeping my word? Or that I didn;t call him back? My God...stop it.
Branh,
That's the biggest piece of B.S. that I have ever heard of in my life. She has to earn HIS respect???? He hasn't earned her respect but yet she is still treating him nicely. Did he not have a proper upbringing on how to respect people in general let alone women??? The guy is a jerk. It doesn't matter if he has only met her once she deserves a call to set up a date ahead of time and to go out on a proper date not meet him after his Hockey game or come over at the last minute. They have only been out on a few dates and he should not expect that of her. She is not taking it too seriously she simply wants to get to know the guy and be treated like she treats him. I don't think that's too much to ask. If he is a quality guy he will treat her how he would like to be treated. If he is on some big power trip to see how high she will jump for him then he is going to be pretty bored with her pretty quickly. He needs someone who won't put up with his shi* and maybe he will turn into something semi-human and have a chance of actually being happy.
That's the biggest piece of B.S. that I have ever heard of in my life. She has to earn HIS respect???? He hasn't earned her respect but yet she is still treating him nicely. Did he not have a proper upbringing on how to respect people in general let alone women??? The guy is a jerk. It doesn't matter if he has only met her once she deserves a call to set up a date ahead of time and to go out on a proper date not meet him after his Hockey game or come over at the last minute. They have only been out on a few dates and he should not expect that of her. She is not taking it too seriously she simply wants to get to know the guy and be treated like she treats him. I don't think that's too much to ask. If he is a quality guy he will treat her how he would like to be treated. If he is on some big power trip to see how high she will jump for him then he is going to be pretty bored with her pretty quickly. He needs someone who won't put up with his shi* and maybe he will turn into something semi-human and have a chance of actually being happy.
Branh are you on drugs?? Re read the posts. Sophie he just doesn't get it.
Brahn..."Sound like you have a weak Virgo, I wouldn't have called you back before you said you would call me back."
WHAT? You make no sense...who said who was going to call who back? What? Read my post again...
WHAT? You make no sense...who said who was going to call who back? What? Read my post again...
lol @ gslove
Branh you misread the post.
Branh you misread the post.
I agree a lot with gslove.
I think he thinks you will just drop everything for him.Branh is correct in that Virgo men need to respect you or forget it. They will just use you because they can.
Be his match. Don't take him too seriously and don't wear your heart on your sleeve.
I think he thinks you will just drop everything for him.Branh is correct in that Virgo men need to respect you or forget it. They will just use you because they can.
Be his match. Don't take him too seriously and don't wear your heart on your sleeve.
No worries Branh. Skimming happens.
Thanks Vigotome, little sparrow and gs....
Don;t know what to do about tonight...MAYBE will stop by for a drink but no coming over? I've been working on work issues since 6:00am and may need a little break. What do you guys think?
Maybe swing by and say "I can't stay long but wanted to pop over and say hi to take a break"
Don;t know what to do about tonight...MAYBE will stop by for a drink but no coming over? I've been working on work issues since 6:00am and may need a little break. What do you guys think?
Maybe swing by and say "I can't stay long but wanted to pop over and say hi to take a break"
It is too soon though. If she goes overboard two months in, he will freak. It has to be slow and steady.
Branh,
When a woman likes a guy like you she tends to give a you too many chances and makes excuses for your behavior and she tends to believe your stories about how you are just soooo busy with work and that you wish you had more time to spend with her or that you just got out of a relationship and you want to take things slowly and all of the other B.S. you feed her, because when a decent woman doesn't like a guy she lets him know and doesn't continue to keep in contact and lead him on. Therefore she doesn't understand why you guys just continue to keep calling and coming after her and confusing her. She thinks naively that you must really like her if you are still calling and that you must just be scared or insecure and that with a little patience that you will come around when in reality you have no intentions of doing anything but having a little fun with her and throwing her away like yesterdays trash when she becomes too needy or starts to demand the respect she deserves. When a guy is a good guy and mentally healthy and ready for a relationship there won't be any reason for any excuses to be made for him because if he truly cares for the woman he is in the relationship with he won't want to screw things up. You men are just not that complicated.
When a woman likes a guy like you she tends to give a you too many chances and makes excuses for your behavior and she tends to believe your stories about how you are just soooo busy with work and that you wish you had more time to spend with her or that you just got out of a relationship and you want to take things slowly and all of the other B.S. you feed her, because when a decent woman doesn't like a guy she lets him know and doesn't continue to keep in contact and lead him on. Therefore she doesn't understand why you guys just continue to keep calling and coming after her and confusing her. She thinks naively that you must really like her if you are still calling and that you must just be scared or insecure and that with a little patience that you will come around when in reality you have no intentions of doing anything but having a little fun with her and throwing her away like yesterdays trash when she becomes too needy or starts to demand the respect she deserves. When a guy is a good guy and mentally healthy and ready for a relationship there won't be any reason for any excuses to be made for him because if he truly cares for the woman he is in the relationship with he won't want to screw things up. You men are just not that complicated.
No. Do the Thursday thing. He will live. He made you wait how many weeks?
Tell him Thursday. He will live two days.
If it is too soon, he will wonder why you like him so much since you don't know him well. ALSO you are rewarding bad behaviour. You call me up at the last minute after weeks of not calling, so let me tell you how great you are.
If it is too soon, he will wonder why you like him so much since you don't know him well. ALSO you are rewarding bad behaviour. You call me up at the last minute after weeks of not calling, so let me tell you how great you are.
I thought it was two weeks? Is it not?
I still think she should wait until Thursday when they agreed to meet.
I still think she should wait until Thursday when they agreed to meet.
How about meeting for a cup of coffee or lunch before he leaves during the day and having that talk with him? or better yet, I think you should tell him that this week just looks too busy for both of you and that you meeting him after hockey is just a little too late but you would love to see him when he gets back and hey since we both have such busy schedules let's make a plan now. If he says no or that he will have to let you know then there is your answer to the priority that he gives to trying to have a relationship. Why would you want someone who doesn't respect your time and only thinks about his own.
On second thought. Do what Virgotme said to do. Go over there and pour all of your feelings out on the table. If he is the jerk I think he is he will run for the hills and your troubles will be over. :-) If he is just scared then you will live happily ever after. Either way you can't lose. Aren't you glad you asked us for advice???? Now you are probably even more confused :-)
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Why doesn't she just wait until Thursday when they go out to dinner or whatever? He picks her up, they go where ever, then she can tell him.
Hi Little Sparrow,
Because, if I read her post right he is not taking her on a proper date where he is going to pick her up. He is expecting that she just come over after he gets done with his hockey game. I agree thought that it would be better to do it on Thursday night than to run over there tonight like he wants her to.
Because, if I read her post right he is not taking her on a proper date where he is going to pick her up. He is expecting that she just come over after he gets done with his hockey game. I agree thought that it would be better to do it on Thursday night than to run over there tonight like he wants her to.
Plus he is a Virgo! Depending on how Virgo he won't like her just coming in unannounced after saying she wouldn't.
Sophie - have you actually gone on a date with this guy? Where he picks you up, you go to dinner, yadda yadda?
Sophie - have you actually gone on a date with this guy? Where he picks you up, you go to dinner, yadda yadda?
Hey little ...yes, we've gone out 8 times over 2 months. He has taken me to dinner, drinks etc...very nice places. However, always comes to my area even though he invites me to his area and his house.
I think I may call back and ask what time he gets out of hockey either Wed or Thurs...we'll meet for a drink and we can talk then. Tonight I'm too crazy busy w/ work.
I think I may call back and ask what time he gets out of hockey either Wed or Thurs...we'll meet for a drink and we can talk then. Tonight I'm too crazy busy w/ work.
Ahhh okay. Just checkin'.
Sounds like a plan Sophie.
Sounds like a plan Sophie.
I think that is a good idea Sophie, I would also ask dyrstr8z for his advice. I think he seems to be one of the good guy Virgo's and he seems to be pretty perceptive. I know you didn't agree about what he told you on one of your other posts, but you may soon feel differently. Just make sure you listen to what your virgo says and if he says things like, I'm not ready to have a relationship or that he needs to get his career going before he commits or anything else like that. Believe him. Don't just think he is scared. Watch his actions carefully. If he truly likes you he won't want to do anything to mess it up and he will step up to the plate and give you what you need if you ask for it, but he can't read your mind and you do need to ask for it. Believe me he want's someone he can respect.
How about treat him with kindness and respect but caution until he proves worthy?
See Sophie? I told you he would give you good advice. :-) I do however think he is beginning to do some things that are proving him unworthy and that you need to nip it in the bud immediately if you want to save this relationship and that starts with plain old fashioned communication.
lol!
Sophie has a team of Virgos working on her relationship for her. I am envious.
Sophie has a team of Virgos working on her relationship for her. I am envious.
Yes Little Sparrow, she has a team of virgos and a team of a few of us Scorpios too that have all been where she is right now. :-) This is fun!!
Hey All...
I just left a message for him. Said I was "ripping my hair out trying to do this contract for my meeting in the AM, so I wanted to see what time he usually gets out of hockey and we can meet for a drink then."
I'm so stressed w/ work I cannot deal so want to make this painless.
No game playing, I called him back. Tonight is IMPOSSIBLE, I have so much to do. I do want to see him face to face to "talk" . See his reaction and we will go from there...
Lets just hope he calls back....
I just left a message for him. Said I was "ripping my hair out trying to do this contract for my meeting in the AM, so I wanted to see what time he usually gets out of hockey and we can meet for a drink then."
I'm so stressed w/ work I cannot deal so want to make this painless.
No game playing, I called him back. Tonight is IMPOSSIBLE, I have so much to do. I do want to see him face to face to "talk" . See his reaction and we will go from there...
Lets just hope he calls back....
And one little libra sitting in a tree. lol!
If he is a good guy, he'll call back. He may not call tonight because you are busy, out of respect, but if he is a good guy ... he will call back.
Good for you Sophie!! You did the right thing. Stay true to yourself.
hi sophie,
i can't deal with my situation so i don't see myself as a person who can give you proper advice but i'm really glad that he called you!!!..seriously..
so if u couldn't make it bc of work load tonight so it's ur turn now..that's why don't hope him to call u back
in the previous post u said "let's hope him to call back"
why hope? you should call him..and keep calling before friday..u should definently see him before he leaves
i can't deal with my situation so i don't see myself as a person who can give you proper advice but i'm really glad that he called you!!!..seriously..
so if u couldn't make it bc of work load tonight so it's ur turn now..that's why don't hope him to call u back
in the previous post u said "let's hope him to call back"
why hope? you should call him..and keep calling before friday..u should definently see him before he leaves
Flamin...Nora!!!!......I'm laughing here to myself.....talk about friggin analysing a situatiion to death!! - sorry Sophie and your Mr. Virgo!!!!
Bottom-line, at the moment, you don't want him to be the mother of your children! you just want to go out and have some fun and see him! It didn't suit you last nite, it does tonite.....go out woman and enjoy your encounter.....make the most of your magic moments......let him wine, dine and adore you!!!!! Have a nite of passion if you so desire.......he's off to NY later this weekend.....make sure you inform him of the "wonderful, exciting plans"! you have!!!!........now enough huffing and pufffing my friend......just do it!!! and enjoy to the fullest..........and if he doesn't call you, well out with you tonite and enjoy lots of other male candy:-)!!!!! Nobody likes to be the only available source!!!!
Alana xx
Bottom-line, at the moment, you don't want him to be the mother of your children! you just want to go out and have some fun and see him! It didn't suit you last nite, it does tonite.....go out woman and enjoy your encounter.....make the most of your magic moments......let him wine, dine and adore you!!!!! Have a nite of passion if you so desire.......he's off to NY later this weekend.....make sure you inform him of the "wonderful, exciting plans"! you have!!!!........now enough huffing and pufffing my friend......just do it!!! and enjoy to the fullest..........and if he doesn't call you, well out with you tonite and enjoy lots of other male candy:-)!!!!! Nobody likes to be the only available source!!!!
Alana xx
You are all wonderful...thank you for walking me through this.
He never called back last night, I'm sure will call today and I'll see him tonight or tomorrow.
He never called back last night, I'm sure will call today and I'll see him tonight or tomorrow.
UPDATE~~~
After all this and I left the message last night saying "let me know what time you usually get out of Hockey and we'll meet for a drink" He has hockey tonight and tomorrow...I was hoping to see him before he goes to NY.
HE HAS NOT CALLED.
Ugh.
After all this and I left the message last night saying "let me know what time you usually get out of Hockey and we'll meet for a drink" He has hockey tonight and tomorrow...I was hoping to see him before he goes to NY.
HE HAS NOT CALLED.
Ugh.
Of course he hasn't!! He is going to wait until the last minute again and expect that you are just going to drop everything and go and meet him because he is such a control freak. I'm sorry but those kinds of guys bug me so much. He probably gets pleasure thinking about you waiting by the phone for him. You really need to give him hell about this when he calls. If he gets pissed and thinks you are over reacting instead of owning up to what a jerk he is being you don't need him anyway Sophie.
Yay dyrstr8z!! Did you say you were single? 
If you are you won't be for long. If you were in L.A. I would definitely be trying to get your attention. Hahaha!!
If you are you won't be for long. If you were in L.A. I would definitely be trying to get your attention. Hahaha!!Darn, Hey i'm a hot scorp too. :-) Well she is a lucky scorp. Good luck!!
See Sophie?? There are good guys out there. We don't have to waste our time on the dud dudes.
Wow....thanks y'all...dont know what to think
I am not suprised. He probably assume the two of you have plans and will call tomorrow to confirm.
I knew he wouldn't call last night.
I knew he wouldn't call last night.
I'm actually with little_sparrow, don't jump to assumptions so soon! I mean really, who really calls when they say they will? (Ok ok some of you perfectionist, punctual virgos) but I really don't think it's that big a deal... UNLESS he doesn't call within a certain time frame which would be when you agreed that you might see each other (before he leaves) He kinda sucks ass but hey guys play their little games too you know, the ol' 'don't wanna call right away' or 'when she tells me to call' no man wants to think that they might just be perceived as 'pussy whipped' on any level lol In conclusion for this part 1... 
I would again say... ASS U ME is not the way to go.
Then I would say that IF in fact he doesn't call before he leaves, he didn't want to see you (ok that's a given) Now Brahn always says that women should not 'ass u me' that men think like women but I can't help just throwing out the possibility that he may feel a little pressure... you know, the whole getting to know someone you like type deal etc. etc. Couldn't think of anything else if he really is interested (which may be in question depending on what goes on) Either way, that wouldn't be your problem, at all, whatsoever.
Lastly, I'd like to point out that things take time to develop and it really may be too soon to tell. Establishing a real connection takes time, opening up emotionally takes time, intimacy, familiarity. Sex, in my opinion will probably not help in moving things along... for the man it's purely physical if nothing has been established. I mentioned this in case anyone thinks 'what?! intimacy? they've tangoed'
Pretty much, if I was in this situation I'd take everything with a grain of salt right now. Yes, I'd be pissed off but before doing or saying anything that I might regret I'd detach myself from the whole situation. I wouldn't call him or text him. If he wants to go out, he gives a definite date and time and if I'm busy... well he can call me back next week. If he doesn't then it's his loss. During this time I certainly wouldn't stop myself from dating others btw since we aren't an item. Just don't be available and don't facilitate things for him. He's gotten used to tHiS being ok with you. Oh I've rambled again, maybe I'm too far ahead and off lol
Keep us updated and Goodluck
I would again say... ASS U ME is not the way to go. Then I would say that IF in fact he doesn't call before he leaves, he didn't want to see you (ok that's a given) Now Brahn always says that women should not 'ass u me' that men think like women but I can't help just throwing out the possibility that he may feel a little pressure... you know, the whole getting to know someone you like type deal etc. etc. Couldn't think of anything else if he really is interested (which may be in question depending on what goes on) Either way, that wouldn't be your problem, at all, whatsoever.
Lastly, I'd like to point out that things take time to develop and it really may be too soon to tell. Establishing a real connection takes time, opening up emotionally takes time, intimacy, familiarity. Sex, in my opinion will probably not help in moving things along... for the man it's purely physical if nothing has been established. I mentioned this in case anyone thinks 'what?! intimacy? they've tangoed'
Pretty much, if I was in this situation I'd take everything with a grain of salt right now. Yes, I'd be pissed off but before doing or saying anything that I might regret I'd detach myself from the whole situation. I wouldn't call him or text him. If he wants to go out, he gives a definite date and time and if I'm busy... well he can call me back next week. If he doesn't then it's his loss. During this time I certainly wouldn't stop myself from dating others btw since we aren't an item. Just don't be available and don't facilitate things for him. He's gotten used to tHiS being ok with you. Oh I've rambled again, maybe I'm too far ahead and off lol
Keep us updated and Goodluck
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