He had the nerve to call me today!!!

"Hey Sophie...just "checking in with you" (hmmm...was this in reference to the fact he didnt call after a date?)

"How is the windy city?" he asked

"I'm home already" I replied

"Oh...so it was sucessful i hope. By the way, you left your garage door opener in my car (I thought I lost it). I said well, if you are working tonight you can drop it off and I will p/u on Saturday (knowing he wasnt working).

"I'm not working tonight but I do have to swing by the bar @ 4:00 and pick up paperwork. So I'll drop the clicker by your house"

I said "Well, if I'm not home leave it in the mailbox. Thanks"

Son of a bitch....what is he thinking?

Sophie68

You don't call like a typical Scorpio.

Tell him to get lost.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhh! Don't you just love it when they call out of no where like that!!!!! You are right, son of a cookiemonster. I'm having the same problem with a cancer guy (damn pick). How long has it been since you heard from him?

Sophie,

Well, I'll be honest with you, I think you've given him some mixed signals now. The last night you spend with him you slept with him, and you haven't spoken after. He would have no way of knowing how you are feeling. They definitely don't read minds.

Maybe you are more mad with yourself than with him? Yeah, he's not the ideal kinda guy, but at least he was honest. I don't think from reading your earlier posts that you are really the kind of gal that wants a casual relationship. If I'm wrong, sorry, just curse me and ignore this...

So the way I see it is that you have two options (and continuing with the casual sex thing isn't one of them is it?). First, you can not be home, not call again and leave him wondering what the heck happened. There would be some poetic justice for him in that and you would be free to forget it and move on.

But if he is not out of your system and your not entirely sure that you want him to be, what about just being home and having coffee or something with him. But leave it at that!! You would need now to make sure he doesn't realize that you are just in it for the sex. Maybe try making a date to do something during the day and then just part company. Then see what he does??

Just some thoughts, hope it helps.
Scorpgal

Hi Scorp gal and all...
Yes, we last saw each other on Monday night , then drove me to the airport the next morning. He was very critical of me the next morning after our talk....which sucked but I see thats a normal Virgo thing and I probably caught him off guard. I am not sending mixed signals I don't think.

He may have only called regarding my clicker being in his car and wanted to make sure I knew it. I think he just "killed 2 birds w/ one stone to pacify my calling issue.

I will be home when he arrives...my car is out front, who knows, maybe he'll just stick it in the mailbox and take off.

I don't know what I want...but did give him the impression casual sex was ok.
I need some time to think about it....

Virgogotme: Men can be such jackasses sometimes....

Yeah, he's probably just shaking his head and wondering if he did something wrong or if you are just crazy, have your period, etc... LOL!! That would be probably be typical for a guy like him.

But what Virgogotme said about about him wondering about the things he said and if it affected you could be true. The Virgo guy I know has said some really stupid things to me during 'uncomfortable' conversations. These were usually over the phone. Then he'd suddenly call a day or so later saying 'let's get together'. I think we determined earlier on this board that he was coming to 'survey the damage'.

Scorpgal

> Yeah, he's probably just shaking his head and wondering if he did something wrong or if you are just crazy, have your period, etc... LOL!! That would be probably be typical for a guy like him.

Doubtful. Men understand action. He knows he was an ass now he is doing damage control. As long as you pursue a man, he thinks everything and he must be doing the right things because you still want him. You back off and disappear (not have a big talk because that is pursuing) he knows he was an ass and starts to get to work to win you back.

Sophie: I don't know what I want...but did give him the impression casual sex was ok.
I need some time to think about it....


Yeah, that was what I meant about the mixed signals. Of course if you don't know what you want yourself it's harder to know what to communicate to someone else. Let's see what happens when he stops by. That will definitely be another measure of his character.

The critical stuff sucks. It does seem to be a Virgo trait. I'm almost ridiculously sensitive and emotional sometimes (chalk it up to 'time of life', hormones and just me) and really hate that. But I think that more mature Virgos recognize that they do that. Mine usually does try to make up for it in some way later but he doesn't seem to be able to help himself at the time!

Scorpgal

He thought I was still in Chicago!!

...so why would he call me in Chicago re: my garage door opener...it could have waited till I got home.

The last words when he dropped me off at airport was "Call me when you get home Sophie"...so he assumed I was still there!

Then he asked "Do you really need your clicker back right away?" I'm like "Derrrr...yes, thats access anyone can have to my home!!"

So I don't know his intentions

Sophie: He thought I was still in Chicago!!

Oh! Well then, he was using the garage door opener excuse to call you in Chicago. That was lame then wasn't it. But I think it would mean that he did want to talk to you and at least guage your reaction.

But you were cold with him so he probably didn't really want to stop by and see you after that. I'm not saying that I completely understand it either, but I do know that the Virgo guy I know would behave just like that. He often calls and chats for ages on the phone before he suddenly says 'Hey, let's get together today'. It's like he is assessing the field before he commits to getting together. And it's not like I'm b*tchy very often or anything so I don't know why he's like that. But he is.

It is a bit of a natural 'avoidance' thing though. Guys just hate stressful conversations/situations and would rather do just about anything than set themselves up for that. It would be nice to think they would have the guts to just face it anyway, but that is not always the case and you still don't know each other that well.

Scorpgal

Actually... I wasnt COLD AT ALL!!
Complete opposite...happy and cheerful..

Sophie

Do worry about it.

He was probably shocked you didn't rush to phone him the moment you got back. He was also probably shocked that you didn't use the garage door opener as an excuse to see him.

Don't give away all your mystery. Love in the initial stages is a dance.

If you want to be treated well, he has to know that you can and will leave him if he doesn't treat you well. THAT is how you get respect. If you don't have his respect, you have nothing.

You haven't heard the last from this guy. YOU just got interesting to him.

Sophie: Actually... I wasnt COLD AT ALL!! Complete opposite...happy and cheerful..

I see - good for you. Well, I'm sure he's still wondering... If he comes to the door today you can decide then whether to send him off or talk further. Or he might just not bother stopping by at all. Whatever he does will speak volumes. Let us know 🙂.

OMG!!! Vigotme was RIGHT!!!

I looked out and saw his car drive off . Looked in my mailbox and there it was.

So, to see what he was thinking.. I called him about an hour later and said "You know what, just leave it at the bar and I'll pick it up sometime tomorrow so you dont have to come by"

He said " I already dropped it off...I was sneaky about it...in and out..."
I said "Oh...see how you are?" and I laughed
"Well, I have so much to do so I had to get back to town"
"I said "Alright, well thanks"

What the frig is his problem—

Or whoever said he would do the drop off and run....was it virgotome?

Sophie: What the frig is his problem—

I'm not sure, but I think I'm about ready to stop making excuses for his behavior. Even if he has reasons and would eventually come around, it sounds like it would be an awful lot of work and tolerance on your behalf.

Scorpgal

Men complain about women bitching but... I say that most don't understand 'civil' talk as well as we'd like so you do have to yellll at them! They don't understand tears or sadness or none of that emotional crap... they only understand anger, a kick in the ass and then indifference in that order
(dindn't read anything just felt like commenting)

Tauruschic,

I agree with you 100% % % % A nice kick in the ass is what some of them need. Sophie68, I feel your fructration girl, check out my post and you'll see ... I'm mad as hell right now. I agree with dyrstr8z, DON'T invite him in this shows that he's not welcome and things are NOT okay at the moment.

***Sorry for the swearing, I'm a little emotional right now. ****

I have sorta been following this story with Sophie...with a few of the glimpses that I am getting I am wondering why in the world Sophie are you still involved with this man? This truly is YOUR decision. Are YOU happy when you are with him? When he leaves you, do YOU feel good? Personally, I feel that you are wasting too much of YOUR valuable energy on him and "wondering." When the relationship is "right" - there is NO wondering.

Time for you to move on and get your mind and heart somewhere more beneficial for you sweetie. You will look back one day on this very important experience and see just how much you have learned about yourself.

Be grateful he "showed" up in your life to teach you more about the most fantabulous YOU 😉

Bestest of wishes to you 🙂

Ahh
Ok I read some 🙂

I'd like to politely add a little something. Sophie, you keep acting nice and cheerful towards him... but I'm thinking that he may be able to sense that it's an act or maybe it might make you sound a tad bit desperate...?

I understand because I have that same horrible tendency! It really is not good! It does send mixed signals... it really does, first we're acting ok with something we don't like so when we say something about it the other person uses our previous behavior as an excuse for their own ongoing behavior. Don't know if I make sense.

Ok later!