help~ scorpio male needs help with virgo female
This topic was created in the Virgo forum by jonlin55 on Tuesday, April 28, 2009 and has 4 replies.
Hi everyone,
Just to be clear, i don't have many virgo friends. I just started reading about them because I met a girl that has made a great first impression: classy, smart, outgoing, well-dressed.
I've gotten to know her better by going all out and being sweet to her. Shes a doctor at a hospital, so during night shifts, I buy her favorite food. I wake up at 6am to take her to work. I reach out to her because she has already said up front she is very passive. I've basically went all out for 3 weeks. When we go out amongst friends we can hold hands, flirt a lot, have lotsa fun. But when were together, I just can't seem to get her to open up. It just doesn't come natural to her. And then I've basically got fed up, and asked her what she thought of me or the stuff I've done for her. She basically said she found me interesting and wanted to get to know me more. And she thinks the stuff I do for her is sweet. And then i ask her why cant you express this. She says, I keeep it in my heart, I can say it if you want. She also said she's been cheated on twice, which is one of her reasons for not being as sweet or nice to me. I've only know her 3 weeks. If you all think im sorta expecting too much in this time frame, let me know.
My main concern is that she is not a person that opens up naturally and has a potential to be a sweet person. Should I go ahead and keep pursuing and take her word?? I want to give her all i can but i just dont think i'll be getting even half of what i dish out. I'm pretty sure she likes me. I just don't know if she has the potential to be what I'm looking for. A very frustrating experience.
Pls help me out...
Thanks, J
Just to be clear, i don't have many virgo friends. I just started reading about them because I met a girl that has made a great first impression: classy, smart, outgoing, well-dressed.
I've gotten to know her better by going all out and being sweet to her. Shes a doctor at a hospital, so during night shifts, I buy her favorite food. I wake up at 6am to take her to work. I reach out to her because she has already said up front she is very passive. I've basically went all out for 3 weeks. When we go out amongst friends we can hold hands, flirt a lot, have lotsa fun. But when were together, I just can't seem to get her to open up. It just doesn't come natural to her. And then I've basically got fed up, and asked her what she thought of me or the stuff I've done for her. She basically said she found me interesting and wanted to get to know me more. And she thinks the stuff I do for her is sweet. And then i ask her why cant you express this. She says, I keeep it in my heart, I can say it if you want. She also said she's been cheated on twice, which is one of her reasons for not being as sweet or nice to me. I've only know her 3 weeks. If you all think im sorta expecting too much in this time frame, let me know.
My main concern is that she is not a person that opens up naturally and has a potential to be a sweet person. Should I go ahead and keep pursuing and take her word?? I want to give her all i can but i just dont think i'll be getting even half of what i dish out. I'm pretty sure she likes me. I just don't know if she has the potential to be what I'm looking for. A very frustrating experience.
Pls help me out...
Thanks, J
Ok I have to admit I have a prejudice against the Scorpio man in a romantic relationship, because in my experience they become very dependent and clingy, very fast.
As friends we do great, I have several very excellent Scorpio male friends because they feel I understand them as not many people do. I do understand them and I like them, but I would never want to be romantically involved with them and I feel sorry for those who are, because of Scorpios' NEEDS.
So what is it that you want her to do exactly, that she isn't doing? You said you want her to "open up," well what does that mean, what is it you want her to do? If you were to tell her explicitly exactly what you want her to do she might go for it. If it was reasonable.
I would say that most Virgos are very restrained in our behavior. We do not have to emote a lot, in order to feel deep emotion. In fact, almost the opposite. The deeper the emotion, the less we emote.
If you are looking for her to be gooshy and emotional, I would say you have the wrong person.
Sorry.
Athena
As friends we do great, I have several very excellent Scorpio male friends because they feel I understand them as not many people do. I do understand them and I like them, but I would never want to be romantically involved with them and I feel sorry for those who are, because of Scorpios' NEEDS.
So what is it that you want her to do exactly, that she isn't doing? You said you want her to "open up," well what does that mean, what is it you want her to do? If you were to tell her explicitly exactly what you want her to do she might go for it. If it was reasonable.
I would say that most Virgos are very restrained in our behavior. We do not have to emote a lot, in order to feel deep emotion. In fact, almost the opposite. The deeper the emotion, the less we emote.
If you are looking for her to be gooshy and emotional, I would say you have the wrong person.
Sorry.
Athena
She's said she wants to get to know you more... Personally I think you might be coming across as quite desperate and needy, and we Virgos tend to analyse everything - so unless she has incredibly high self esteem, she's probably thinking you've piucked her cause you're desperate and she's nothing special...
Plus, how much mental energy do you think a doctor has left over for all this stuff?
She may also be into Astrology and wary of Scorpios! lol
Here's a clue for you... the most romantic thing anyone ever did for me? Last month my mother died and my oven was broken. The Scorpio guy I'm now seeing invited me over so he could cook a meal for me, and then we sat together on his sofa and he just held me close for two hours. Not much talking, no mental demands, just the warmth of someone who I realised cared a lot for me. I have never felt so cherished in my life.
As an analytical Virgo, I'd say you come across as potentially quite controlling. You do things for her, then ask for her to mark your efforts. You say she has 'potential to be sweet' - so you see somebody flawed, to be improved. Up to now you sound very like a guy I was with who turned out to be a full=blown Narcissist. Virgos do things for people (like working 12-hour hospital shifts, for example) because they desire to serve. It would never occur to us to ask people to notice, or to remark on how wonderful it was that we did these things, So I'm afraid you may be coming across as quite immature to her. She is used to working in an environment where she ends each shift too tired to think. Nobody thanks her, it's her job. And then you pop up and say, "Wasn't I great to make you breakfast?"
Sheesh!
Sorry - just, you need to back off a little and think about why you are trying to change somebody who sounds as though she's perfectly happy with how she is. And why the OP seemed so centred around you and your needs. What about hers?
Plus, how much mental energy do you think a doctor has left over for all this stuff?
She may also be into Astrology and wary of Scorpios! lol
Here's a clue for you... the most romantic thing anyone ever did for me? Last month my mother died and my oven was broken. The Scorpio guy I'm now seeing invited me over so he could cook a meal for me, and then we sat together on his sofa and he just held me close for two hours. Not much talking, no mental demands, just the warmth of someone who I realised cared a lot for me. I have never felt so cherished in my life.
As an analytical Virgo, I'd say you come across as potentially quite controlling. You do things for her, then ask for her to mark your efforts. You say she has 'potential to be sweet' - so you see somebody flawed, to be improved. Up to now you sound very like a guy I was with who turned out to be a full=blown Narcissist. Virgos do things for people (like working 12-hour hospital shifts, for example) because they desire to serve. It would never occur to us to ask people to notice, or to remark on how wonderful it was that we did these things, So I'm afraid you may be coming across as quite immature to her. She is used to working in an environment where she ends each shift too tired to think. Nobody thanks her, it's her job. And then you pop up and say, "Wasn't I great to make you breakfast?"
Sheesh!
Sorry - just, you need to back off a little and think about why you are trying to change somebody who sounds as though she's perfectly happy with how she is. And why the OP seemed so centred around you and your needs. What about hers?
a cap man pursued me for 2months... but he was going too fast. i couldnt take it, so i pulled away. i like him but he couldn't understand why i wanted to take things slow. i thought cap men(he has virgo moon) don't like to rush. but he is needy and not patient
with another man i was seeing(pisces)....again... taking things slow is not his way. i felt pushed so i pulled away. so i told him that i am not ready to have a man in my life. he was really disappointed but told me that he'll be waiting for me. still waiting. hmm. when he pursued me before that and went too fast i disappeared... and only contacted him back after 5 months (felt like 5weeks only to me)
what is wrong with me? lol. i so wanna do it their way.. but i can't
btw my ex-bf is a scorpio. but i cant type much now
with another man i was seeing(pisces)....again... taking things slow is not his way. i felt pushed so i pulled away. so i told him that i am not ready to have a man in my life. he was really disappointed but told me that he'll be waiting for me. still waiting. hmm. when he pursued me before that and went too fast i disappeared... and only contacted him back after 5 months (felt like 5weeks only to me)
what is wrong with me? lol. i so wanna do it their way.. but i can't
btw my ex-bf is a scorpio. but i cant type much now
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