WLS1970
@WLS1970
13 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 7 · Topics: 1
How long is a long time?
i agree with the other post. shit or get off the pot. say the same thing back to him that he said to you..that'll get his attention. 'He did say to me once after he backed off that somethings are worth waiting for.'
I agree with the other ladies.
8 months is ridiculously long. You two are just friends. As shy as a Virgo may appear, he would have taken the step to approach you sexually. Even the most reserved can't hold that long.
8 months is ridiculously long. You two are just friends. As shy as a Virgo may appear, he would have taken the step to approach you sexually. Even the most reserved can't hold that long.
Posted by WLS1970
... usually with me initiating the contact however.
Why are you initiating all contact? That sounds kind of pushy and intrusive.
Posted by WLS1970
... I feel he really does like me. He has told one of his friends he does like me and other people have passed comments about the way he looks at me.
He denies it all though.
Let me see if I have this right ...... you FEEL he likes you, but, doesnt' tell you that. Other people tell you that they FEEL he likes you, but, he doesnt' tell you that.
So you approach him with this, as if in accusing him of like you? Because if you weren't accusing him of liking you, then why would he have the need to deny.
he denies it all .. according to you, which means you are putting this in his face .. when he hasn't said squat, you are basing it off of how YOU feel, as if he has some obligation.
Posted by WLS1970
He did say to me once after he backed off that somethings are worth waiting for.
Later on when I tried to get him to elaborate on that he denied saying that also.
When the man does talk, you're in face ... get out of his face, dude.
Posted by WLS1970
My question is how long does it take for a Virgo to decide your the one?
click to expand
About 5 minutes
Posted by WLS1970
I've been friends with a Virgo for about 8 months now.
You two are just friends ... get out of his face
P-angel...i was friends with mine for 12 years. There were many reasons why during that time we could not be in a relationship. You know as well as i do that SHE(the op) will have to lead this further and make him MOVE forward, IF its what he really wants.
Yes, Capbaby, I am fully aware, as you are ... that the Virgo man steps aside to let his woman rule, to let her lead him.
But, that's not the case here.
This woman has feelings for him and then pushing these feelings in his face, as if he is accountible for how she feels ... and I know this to be true by the phrases she used .... these phrases emphasizing that he is in denial of accepting how he feels for her when SHE is putting him to accepting it.
That's right up front in his fucking face ... and nowhere near a Virgo man standing beside his strong and confident woman, trusting her in where she leads him.
But, that's not the case here.
This woman has feelings for him and then pushing these feelings in his face, as if he is accountible for how she feels ... and I know this to be true by the phrases she used .... these phrases emphasizing that he is in denial of accepting how he feels for her when SHE is putting him to accepting it.
That's right up front in his fucking face ... and nowhere near a Virgo man standing beside his strong and confident woman, trusting her in where she leads him.
They take forever and need a whole lotta patience..They may not tell you, but you'll know by the "look". But Let it be is right. Don't sit around waiting because if he knows that you are "an option" he will use you as one, if you are worth it to him to work for, he will...
Posted by P-AngelPosted by WLS1970
... usually with me initiating the contact however.
Why are you initiating all contact? That sounds kind of pushy and intrusive.
Not pushy and intrusive, more relaxed and easy going. Not all contact is initiated by me either, just more than him.
Posted by WLS1970
... I feel he really does like me. He has told one of his friends he does like me and other people have passed comments about the way he looks at me.
He denies it all though.
Let me see if I have this right ...... you FEEL he likes you, but, doesnt' tell you that. Other people tell you that they FEEL he likes you, but, he doesnt' tell you that.
So you approach him with this, as if in accusing him of like you? Because if you weren't accusing him of liking you, then why would he have the need to deny.
he denies it all .. according to you, which means you are putting this in his face .. when he hasn't said squat, you are basing it off of how YOU feel, as if he has some obligation.
I don't just feel he likes me, it's signals he gives when we're together. Like the way he looks into my eyes, or the way I constantly catch him staring at me when he thinks I'm not looking. Or the way he fusses over me when I'm at his house eg. Am I hungry, do I need a drink, jumper, anything really. He's not like that with anyone else at his house. When I've approached him with this I haven't "accused" him of anything, I've simply asked the question. His actual response was "I don't like you like that but I'm confused and I'm not sure what liking someone even feels like anymore. I've pushed it away for so long, and I don't expect you to understand something that I don't even understand myself"
Posted by WLS1970
He did say to me once after he backed off that somethings are worth waiting for.
Later on when I tried to get him to elaborate on that he denied saying that also.
click to expand
When the man does talk, you're in face ... get out of his face, dude.
I don't think it's unfair to ask anyway to clarify something with which you don't understand, whether it be feelings based or anything else. I wasn't in his face about it at all.
To all the other people who have kindly responded I think you have all just clarified what I knew all along. I need to stay away and see if he comes to me. It will be hard as he frequents where I work (so I will see him tonight at work) but I will just play it cool and go home as soon as I've finished instead of stopping to catch up with him. That act alone will make him sit up and take notice.
Posted by msmarilynmanson
i highly recommend you dont try any manipulation with a virgo man. they are way too smart. just be yourself 100 percent no matter what that is and no matter what you think he wants.
I agree with you 100 percent. I'm defiantly not into playing games and my sit up and take notice certainly wasn't intended that way. I just meant that he will know that something's changed and hopefully from that he will realize that something has to give because I can't keep waiting around like I have been, and I'm happy to tell him so if he asks.
Posted by msmarilynmanson
the virgo man steps aside and lets the woman lead. damn i wish i would have read this 6 months ago. lifes lessons are so hard. it all makes perfect sense now. once you figure out how the virgo man works its seriously crazy. Its like upside down and backwards and i was too blind to figure it out b 4 i lost my love.
yes it is. Know how mine proposed to me? while taking out the garbage and I thought he was kidding. LOL
My answer was, "well not today, and tomorrow doesn't look good either.' he then responded with, "I only ask once."
I responded with, "You will ask me again when the timing is better."
He did, 2 months later in front of his grown children and with a ring.
Posted by Let*It*Be
""that will make him sit up and take notice." i highly recommend you dont try any manipulation with a virgo man. they are way too smart. just be yourself 100 percent no matter what that is and no matter what you think he wants. if you dont you will loose him and loose him fast. he will be out the door before you can say huh? i just lost a virgo man that i was deeply in love for acting like a complete fool. be genuine be youself and do not play games no matter how he acts."
Very correct in that Virgo's smell games a mile away, HOWEVER, she tried the lead way too many times and got the cold shoulder.
There's nothing wrong with acknowledging him and saying hi, but the extension of "hanging around" should not be an option. Say hi, how ya doin..and be off like a dirty bra! 😉
Sounds weird but it actually works. Tried it yesterday on my virguy and a few hours later I had 2 missed calls and 3 missed texts from him wanting to see me 0_0 And all I did was smile, say hi, but not do anything else like I'm used to. I definetely think you should NOT be cold towards for two reasons, one is that they recognize the game playing and two, if they don't they'll think they did something really wrong and he may go insecure on you. If you still keep it light and friendly, it's a different story. At least, that's what I've seen in my own experience.
Update on Virgo guy. I didn't actually see him for about 6 weeks as he was working away for longer than intended, however I never contacted him either to find out what was going on. When he finally did get back I was at a mutual friends house one night having a couple of drinks when he called one of them on the phone. They happened to mention I was there and he turned up about half an hour later. This in itself is unusual as he had already been to visit them earlier in the day. When he got there he made a point of sitting next to me. He spoke to me casually and I casually responded to any questions he asked. After awhile everyone got up and moved inside. I went inside for awhile then went back outside by myself for a bit as it was too hot inside. It was a very balmy summers night here. He followed out a little bit later with a friend and said he was leaving and was I going home with him. I just looked at him not knowing what to say and my friend said to go as they were going to bed soon anyway and to leave my car there and she will bring it to me in the morning. So I did. We had a good night chatting and went to separate beds a couple of hours later. The morning was casual, my car turned up and I left. That was a few days after Christmas. On the morning of New Years eve I ws at the same mutual friends house when he also turned up again. They were going up the coast for New Years, which we were both invited to go but we both declined for different reasons. I had my mother in hospital so didn't want to go too far away, and he had developed Bells Palsy and wanted to keep a fairly low profile as he looked awfully weird. He asked me if I wanted to spend New Years at his house just having a few drinks. I accepted of course! We were having a really good time with lots of laughing and joking and then he just changed out of nowhere. He started snapping at things I was saying, then he started walking in and out of the house. Every time he walked back in tho he would say really random out of the blue things then walk away again. First off I asked what he was doing outside and he replied "I can do what I like I don't have a girlfriend" then walked outside again. Then he came back in and said "did you know that 54% of marriages fail, would you be willing to take that risk" To which I replied "Yes if I really believed in the relationship" and then he walked out again.
Then he walked back in again a little bit later and said "What was that you said" I actually hadn't said anything so I told him so and he replied with "I thought you said I would never find anyone as good as you again" I said I never said that and he replied "It's probably right anyway but shit happens I guess" It was then I asked what the problem was and he said "I don't know what your talking about, you must be psycho" and walked back outside again. It was then that I decided I'd had enough and I went to bed. I couldn't go home because I'd had too much to drink. In the morning I asked him if he wanted to discuss the events of the night before but he just grunted at me, so I grabbed my things and said goodbye. I haven't spoken to him since. He has now gone on a family holiday for 2 weeks so I'm not expecting to hear from him anytime soon.
Anyone have any clues on what that was all about?? I'm starting to think that this man who I knew and thought was so wonderful has some very deep seated issues which he refuses to discuss. I want to show him that I will support him but I refuse to be treated that way. Where do I go from here—
Sorry for the extra long post but I had to get it all down 🙂
Anyone have any clues on what that was all about?? I'm starting to think that this man who I knew and thought was so wonderful has some very deep seated issues which he refuses to discuss. I want to show him that I will support him but I refuse to be treated that way. Where do I go from here—
Sorry for the extra long post but I had to get it all down 🙂
Posted by WLS1970
I've been friends with a Virgo for about 8 months now. In the beginning he seemed quite taken by me, and we would spend heaps of time together. We did fool around a little but it has never gone very far. That didn't last long and he backed off saying that he didn't want to get involved with anyone, but we still spend lots of time together, usually with me initiating the contact however. I'm a Pisces and my intuition is usually pretty good and I feel he really does like me. He has told one of his friends he does like me and other people have passed comments about the way he looks at me. He denies it all though. He did say to me once after he backed off that somethings are worth waiting for. Later on when I tried to get him to elaborate on that he denied saying that also.
My question is how long does it take for a Virgo to decide your the one? I know they don't rush these things and I am happy to wait, however I don't want my waiting to be in vain. When or how do you know it's just not going to happen?
Virgos also cannot stand to hurt other people's feelings. They are people please. My guy is a Virgo. All I can see from this is he is not interested. It does not take that long to know he's interested. Mine was initiating all contact. If I didn't msg him he goes crazy with msgs and calls until he gets a hold of me. Virgos are practical as well. they don't feel with gut or intuition, if he's not initiating contact it's because you are not on his mind. He will not say it to your face, it's rude. Virgos are not rude people. If you have not done anything wrong to him intentionally he will not be rude back. He's just being friendly because he doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, in this case yours.
He sounds weird...
One thing to understand, Virgos like to be single but they are huge of being Social with other people. They love to be around people. It means nothing. His friends were there, you were there, people were there. They gravitate toward huge crowds because it's fun. They are commitmentphobes. My advice, stop looking for clues to fabricate yourself a story. Don't waste time. If he's interested you'd know by now. I'm not saying it can't happen, I'm saying you're looking for things to prove yourself he's into you. Don't dream, be practical. Pisces are dreamers, you need to snap to reality.
Mine told me he's interested in me only even in an indirect way. They are insecure and scared of being hurt. They definitely don't like rejection.
He could have said that just as a simple hint. This is why he does not want a relationship.
He could have said that just as a simple hint. This is why he does not want a relationship.
Thank you Let It Be for your very sound advice. I will make a real effort to stay out of his way when he gets back from holidays, although it shouldn't be too hard as he's only home for about 3 days and then he leaves again for work. One thing I am a little concerned about, and I already know what your response to this will be, but I'm a little worried that if I keep away from him it will be like he gets to take the easy road. I can just imagine him thinking that because I'm not around the decision has been made for him, and now he doesn't have to worry about what to do. I know your thinking that he never cared enough in the first place if that's what he does but I know him and he seems so scared to get involved that the easy option for him would be to let me go rather than risk starting a relationship that's doomed to fail 🙂 However having said that I know that I'm getting nowhere doing what I've been doing and if that's how it pans out then maybe it's a blessing as it's pretty clear this guy has A LOT of emotional baggage. And to answer your question when I was too intoxicated to drive I actually wasn't that bad, and he was about the same as me, but I would've blown over the legal limit (which is very low here) and as I'm a sales rep and spend the majority of my day driving I wasn't prepared to take the risk. And no we haven't had sex!
Kindleberry I can see by what I've said why you would think he's not interested in me but I can assure you he is. He is not your typical polite Virgo who doesn't like to hurt peoples feelings. He says what he thinks and one of his favorite mantras is "It's none of my business what people think of me" He doesn't contact me very often but there's 2 reasons for that, that I can see. One he knows it will only be a matter of time and I will contact him because I'm very low on willpower (although I am getting better) and two because this way I can never blame him for leading me on. However he does other things to get my attention, like turn up to my second job 15 minutes before I'm due to finish. Or arrive at a friends house when he knows I'm there. He has even quite often found really random reasons to text or call me. Once he called me to ask me the name of the shop that's near my work (he knows I never go there so I had no clue what it was called) and then spent an hour talking to me on the phone. Like he told his friend once he likes me but he doesn't know what to do about it. He's scared shitless of getting hurt again
Kindleberry I can see by what I've said why you would think he's not interested in me but I can assure you he is. He is not your typical polite Virgo who doesn't like to hurt peoples feelings. He says what he thinks and one of his favorite mantras is "It's none of my business what people think of me" He doesn't contact me very often but there's 2 reasons for that, that I can see. One he knows it will only be a matter of time and I will contact him because I'm very low on willpower (although I am getting better) and two because this way I can never blame him for leading me on. However he does other things to get my attention, like turn up to my second job 15 minutes before I'm due to finish. Or arrive at a friends house when he knows I'm there. He has even quite often found really random reasons to text or call me. Once he called me to ask me the name of the shop that's near my work (he knows I never go there so I had no clue what it was called) and then spent an hour talking to me on the phone. Like he told his friend once he likes me but he doesn't know what to do about it. He's scared shitless of getting hurt again
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