How to encourage a Virgo?
This topic was created in the Virgo forum by LeoSag on Saturday, June 29, 2013 and has 29 replies.
I have been in love with a Virgo man for 6 years. I strongly feel he loves me too, but unfortunately, he is married with 4 children and is a stauch Protestant. He have been meeting weekly. In the first three-four years he was very closed about his real feelings, insecurities, problems, but nowadays he opens up more and more to me, which I greatly appreciate, as he has no-one really close to him. We almost never talk about his wife, so I know little about their relationship, but it seems to be very intellectual from what I know. My Virgo is most pre-occupied with his inadequacy concerning his job. The general opinion of him is that he is clever and hard-working, but he is never happy with his performance, never satisfied with himself. He is a chemist but says he would only be fit to clean the canals. 
Being a Lioness (Sag Asc, Moon in Cancer), I have never had these insecurities, I see most things as bright, I cry if I need to cry and I'm happy if I'm happy. He is never really happy and he is never really sad, or rather he is always sad deep down, but most people see only a facade of a robot.
He says I'm his sunshine (he doesn't care for astrology, so he is not really aware of me being a Leo, so it's funny), but what can I really do to give him encouragement, to make him feel better about himself?
Can a Virgo help?
Being a Lioness (Sag Asc, Moon in Cancer), I have never had these insecurities, I see most things as bright, I cry if I need to cry and I'm happy if I'm happy. He is never really happy and he is never really sad, or rather he is always sad deep down, but most people see only a facade of a robot.
He says I'm his sunshine (he doesn't care for astrology, so he is not really aware of me being a Leo, so it's funny), but what can I really do to give him encouragement, to make him feel better about himself?
Can a Virgo help?
I'm a Lioness(Sag Asc, Moon in Cancer) like you and I was in a relationship with a Virgo man for over a year. However my virgo's heart didn't belong in someone elses hands. Sorry can't help you - smh.
Obviously, theoretically, you are right! Then see it as friendship. How can a Virgo be encouraged?
Speaking as a Virgo....you may want to initialize a text r/s. Send him something flirty and mysterious which will pique his interest. We are very cerebral and like people who appeal to our minds. He needs stimulus and you beingba firesign should be able to provide that. Virgo men seem cool on the surface, but mostly they are begging to be rocked out of themselves!
Posted by LeoSag
He says I'm his sunshine (he doesn't care for astrology, so he is not really aware of me being a Leo, so it's funny), but what can I really do to give him encouragement, to make him feel better about himself?
Yes, there is something you can do for both the Virgo and his wife..tell him to go to marriage counseling. For you..find help to figure out why you are hung up on a guy for five years who happens to be MARRIED. There is definitely something wrong with you.
Oh, no, you are completely misunderstanding me! I don't want to encourage him with regards to our relationship, which is as it is, but regarding his job! How can I give him happiness? How can I make him feel he's worthy of the job he has? How can I give him self-confidence and energy?
...scuse me...six years
Posted by lubbylou
Speaking as a Virgo....you may want to initialize a text r/s. Send him something flirty and mysterious which will pique his interest. We are very cerebral and like people who appeal to our minds. He needs stimulus and you beingba firesign should be able to provide that. Virgo men seem cool on the surface, but mostly they are begging to be rocked out of themselves!
...Or you can make a complete ass out of yourself and listen to people who are like minded.
Posted by LeoSag
Oh, no, you are completely misunderstanding me! I don't want to encourage him with regards to our relationship, which is as it is, but regarding his job! How can I give him happiness? How can I make him feel he's worthy of the job he has? How can I give him self-confidence and energy?
Give it a rest and get help.
Excuse me, LetitB, but I don't really get what you mean. Here is this poor depressed Virgo, who I love, and who I would like to help. I would like to give him energy. I'm not asking other Virgos to find out what energizes them, what makes them feel worthwhile.
Thank you for your great ideas! I will do that! Why didn't I think of that before?
Leave the married man alone. The only encouragement he needs is to go home to his wife and tell her what he's feeling/lacking. It's her place to encourage him in his work, not yours.
If you really love him, you'll leave him be. Let his wife take care of him.
If you really love him, you'll leave him be. Let his wife take care of him.
Yes, you are right! Thank you!
Posted by lubbylou
Speaking as a Virgo....you may want to initialize a text r/s. Send him something flirty and mysterious which will pique his interest. We are very cerebral and like people who appeal to our minds. He needs stimulus and you beingba firesign should be able to provide that. Virgo men seem cool on the surface, but mostly they are begging to be rocked out of themselves!
Shame on you!!!
Morally upright Virgo?!?! Bullshit!
gezzzz! insane! Why are neurotic Virgo man are susceptible with some pathetic woman.... smh
I misread the whole thing.....didn't realize the dude was married. Yeah give it a wide berth and heave-ho it. Not worth energy. Speaking as a virgo though, since you asked..... its what attracts me to someone. Mind stimulation, especially when I am bored 
My ex had was a virgo sun/scorpio moon and he was Marquis de sade in a suit!
It seems noone really understands me, but somehow everyone moralizes over me. My life is my life. All I expect from a forum is to answer the question that I ask. Naturally, you can all have your opinions of my morals and his, but that your problem. My question, which noone seems to have got is still the following: If there is a Virgo who is discouraged about himself and who is one way or another important to me because I love him as a friend, as a love interest or whatever, how can I make him feel worthwhile? How can I energize him? What can I say? Should I praise his qualities? Virgos don't seem to fall into the trap of compliments. That's what I want to know. If you want to moralize, do it with someone else.
Hey lady....there are a lot of people adopting the moral highground here. I'm not one of them. Virgos don't need praise...it is not something we court particularly. If you love him just be there for him...but maybe ditch notions of anything more worthwhile than friendship. Virgos can suddenly just spike one day and conclude to run off with someone we've just met. If you want to energize a virgo male....well like I say, I had an ex from 4 years ago who was virgo and he was quite complex, a workaholic with moody spells but very very subtle in his approach to romance. We do love sex though, but I'm sure every sign does. Who knows...just be his friend and tell him you'd like him to confinde in you when the going gets tough. I am not paying any personal attention to morons who want to judge. This is after all a site which encourages discussion on astrological traits
Thank you very much, lubbylou and BalmyTigress, that is exactly what I wanted. He and I have had very deep conversations about what should be done and what he should do to reach those goals, but then, again, we bump into problems of low sense of adequacy, sense of incompetence, over-modesty. My Virgo should be a leader, a maganger, but he is not the type...and I, who, as a Leo, know most of the time how to lead and how to be strict, could easily tell him what to say and how to act as a leader, but if he can't, he can't. But his incapability makes him feel miserable, and the I don't know what to say. He would never go to any councelling, as he is the type of Virgo who never ever takes the initiative. He has drifted from one thing to the next all his life. He has never WANTED anything, it was always other people who wanted instead of him. And now, as a manager, he should be able to WANT.
Loveorlust, thanks for understanding, not judging and moralising. As my Virgo is a Virgo, he doesn't really show how much or how little I mean to him, and to what extent our relationship influences his life. To be quite honest (to myself too), I don't think he cares much for people. His children's issues don't affect him, we never talk about his wife, all he seems to be pre-occupied with is his work. Really and truly. Ever since I've known him and well before that too, he's stayed at his office until 9pm every single day. And his real issues in life are all concerned with his job. His Moon is in Virgo too, and his Asc is Cap. Not much romance there. His Venus is in Leo, though and his Mars in Sag.
he has you compartmentalized in his little play corner, away from everything else. He's not going to confide real things in you so you cant really give him real encouragement. you women are hella blind
I've been married to a Virgo man for over 30 years, and I am well aware of what you speak, and have the explanation for you ... however ...
... you obviously don't want to have dignity for yourself, and when people tell you the only thing they should be telling you, you get upset because they aren't turning a blind eye to what you are doing, because they aren't ignorant.
... you obviously don't want to have dignity for yourself, and when people tell you the only thing they should be telling you, you get upset because they aren't turning a blind eye to what you are doing, because they aren't ignorant.
Posted by HungVirgo
he has you compartmentalized in his little play corner, away from everything else. He's not going to confide real things in you so you cant really give him real encouragement. you women are hella blind
kaboom !!!!
I love straight talk ... and trust me when I say, I don't share love much in dxp
I think all this passionate talk about my Virgo's sacred marriage is more about you than me. Since you have absolutely no idea about the nature of any relationships of ours, perhaps you shouldn't judge. But it seems you can't keep away from moralisation. Have a lovely life then!
Posted by LeoSag
I think all this passionate talk about my Virgo's sacred marriage is more about you than me. Since you have absolutely no idea about the nature of any relationships of ours, perhaps you shouldn't judge. But it seems you can't keep away from moralisation. Have a lovely life then!
shut up dude. you can do what you want and speak about it publicly thats fine, but its also fine for people to give whatever opinion they may have on it. you dont control the flow of conversation just because you introduce the topic.
"The general opinion of him is that he is clever and hard-working, but he is never happy with his performance, never satisfied with himself."
What he is, is a perfectionist.
That is something you CANNOT change. Perfectionists strive to do things perfectly. EVEN when those
things are done better than anyone else can accomplish, in the perfectionist's mind, it can still
be better. This realization brings about disappointment in self, sometimes, even unto self-loathing.
It is unwise to suggest to a perfectionist that it's ok to be imperfect. - that's like an insult
to his or her intelligence because it disregards all their work as meaningless and worthless.
As for a romantic relationship, him being a staunch Protestant, who is married, he will know that such is adultery and a sin. Not having read beyond your first post, I think you forget romance with a married man. - not good. Waste of time and potentially lethal and sooner or later, a can of worms full
of regrets.
You think about that.
What he is, is a perfectionist.
That is something you CANNOT change. Perfectionists strive to do things perfectly. EVEN when those
things are done better than anyone else can accomplish, in the perfectionist's mind, it can still
be better. This realization brings about disappointment in self, sometimes, even unto self-loathing.
It is unwise to suggest to a perfectionist that it's ok to be imperfect. - that's like an insult
to his or her intelligence because it disregards all their work as meaningless and worthless.
As for a romantic relationship, him being a staunch Protestant, who is married, he will know that such is adultery and a sin. Not having read beyond your first post, I think you forget romance with a married man. - not good. Waste of time and potentially lethal and sooner or later, a can of worms full
of regrets.
You think about that.
Virgos must realize that perfection is found in imperfection.
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