how to work around virgo's hurtful criticism?

Hey,

I'm a Gemini in a committed relationship with a Virgo male and everything has been nearly perfect and even the flaws are things I'm happy to deal with for long-term - but recently when we became intimate he became very critical of my technique, directing me all sorts of ways - now we have open communication and it's great when we can help each other get to know our bodies, but the way he did it seemed rather degrading to me and he's always been a gentleman to me (and still is). He grabbed his phone insisting on looking up some video vixen to show me her "technique" (this was during the act), and when I foolishly asked what my oral skills were on a scale he said a 6.5 (ouch).

I appreciate his honesty, and he insisted that he loved me and that it was just my lack of experience (I've only recently lost my virginity, I'm 22), but I can't help overanalyzing and freaking out about myself now. Sexually otherwise he said he's totally satisfied, and he's not even saying he's unsatisfied with oral I'm just not used to someone being so critical of me.

I know this is Virgo nature so is there a way I can deal with this? Or is this just way over the line?

I should note that we are fine now, he went out of his way to make me feel secure afterwards but I can't shake that nasty feeling of embarrassment >_

Awwe..it's probably just the delivery....hahaha, endearing....He's practical and gems can be as well, so the embarrassment is yours not his. 🙂 They just want it to be good for both of you IME. Generally they might lie only to save face sometimes so don't ask them a question if you aren't looking for the truth as they see it.

They would rather not answer or omit like we do sometimes. So try to let go and relax, enjoy him and learn, and don't make things more complicated by questioning everything and going in circles (works both ways). You both have a nervous kind of energy, but he can control his more especially on the surface.

I used to think that there was something wrong with them...don't misinterpret his way of communicating or how he expresses his himself. Be open but don't allow him to get away with too much. 🙂

Get over yourself.

Posted by sunsetinibiza
He grabbed his phone insisting on looking up some video vixen to show me her "technique" (this was during the act)

Were you engaged in oral sex? Damn, were you biting his dick for him to show you that video DURING the act?

It just sounds..unreal

There's nothing he said or did that was out-of-line according to what you wrote.

Admittedly, you are inexperienced .... and just like every person on this planet who doesn't know how to do something - they need instruction.

That's it ... instruction. Every person from newborn to death, has to take instruction when they don't know how to do something.

But, you think you're special in that you can't get over your own little feelings, and think this is a special situation in where people are suppose to pamper you.

You even said yourself that he, himself, went out of his way to make you feel better ... but, I guess due to your insecurities, that gesture of his wasn't enough ... so, you have to come in here to garner more sympathy because you had to endure = learning.


::::: shakes head :::::

This kind of shit just pisses me off. You have described him as a good boyfriend, caring and fair. He even made it all up to you once he realized you were uncomfortable ... but, that isn't enough?

You are such a Princess that earnest effort on his part isn't enough to fulfill your ego-based insecurities.



Don't ever try being with a Pisces with your superficial egotistical bullshit ... we'd rip you to pieces and make you cry.

Thank you to everyone who helped me to see this situation clearly - p angel I don't have to validate myself for you but it would be wise for you to not make assumptions about people you don't know. I have a large history of domestic abuse and rape which attributes to my insecurities. I am far from a princess and I am an excellent girlfriend but clearly it IS insensitive to pull out an iphone to show someone oral sex tips DURING the act itself that's just uncalled for - everything else okay however you feel is however you feel but I wanted guidance from those who could shine a light on my situation and I got it.

Have a blessed day though, don't know what you're so upset about. And I never have been attracted to Pisces anyway. They're confusing to me.

Also Damnata LOL yes it was during t and no I wasn't biting I was sucking and licking and deep throating even but it became "too messy" for him at one point lol. Yet the pornstar he showed me slobbered everywhere so I'll just keep practicing since he's patient about it haha but damn isn't that harsh?? >_

Thanks Gemeliorist!!!! Are you a gem too? You seem to understand my plight easily hahaha

It became too messy? You weren't doing that horrible thing with the weird half-choking noises and spitting were you?

*shudders*

Saliva is great for lubrication during oral, especially for when you (should) use your hand(s). But personally, and I do say personally because no one technique fits everyone, find that the best way to do that is use your tongue and hands to *smear* and spread while stimulating your partner. He won't mind if you switch up your techniques every now and then until he starts to finish so you'll be able to get the job done fairly easily.

Just something that I've found to be effective while pleasurable instead of gross.

*shrugs*



And, another poster mentioned, you shouldn't ask for honesty until you're absolutely sure you're prepared for whatever might come. I place a high value on honesty in my relationships but if I come completely clean then I have to admit that I do, and would rather, omit and lie through my teeth when it's someone I really care about. Virgo placements have a bad habit of noticing every little thing be it that a zipper doesn't quite fit right indicating that a person is too heavy to wear what they're wearing, the little scrap of food stuck between their teeth, a weird stray eyebrow hair that no one else would care about... The things that go through my mind have the potential to seriously hurt even when they aren't meant to so a lot of heavy editing goes on behind the scenes. There aren't many people that can take pure honesty without being hurt and becoming insecure in the process.

Wow TMV can you always reply to my posts? Lol that was so much great advice and honesty I appreciate it yes this my first time with a virgo and he's actually everything I could ever want in someone but that damn virgo in him lol "stop biting your nails" "your room is a bit cluttered" lmao and always follows with "I still love you" so the other criticism I just let slide off my back like water on a duck but sexually that hit me kinda hard cuz of my past.

No I wasn't gagging but I was for sure spitting all trying to get it lubed but I love your suggestion at smearing cause he does love when I do tongue action.

That was such an informative post you rock thanks!!! Any other tips n tricks let me know and now I know not to ask unless I want the whole truth 0.0 haha

Posted by P-Angel

This kind of shit just pisses me off. You have described him as a good boyfriend, caring and fair. He even made it all up to you once he realized you were uncomfortable ... but, that isn't enough?

You are such a Princess that earnest effort on his part isn't enough to fulfill your ego-based insecurities.



Don't ever try being with a Pisces with your superficial egotistical bullshit ... we'd rip you to pieces and make you cry.

*****^^^^^
Haven't been on here in ages... Busy loving my Virgo! I see P-Angel is still a bitch! Don't listen to her Gemini she has cow webs formed where once used to lie her sexuality!

Shudders---I'd let him criticize his hand.

FYI I love Virgo's but you can't put up with their shit, correct it now or you'll regret it later.