hurt completely by Virgo guy

This topic was created in the Virgo forum by angelbabe on Wednesday, August 4, 2010 and has 27 replies.
Here is the gist. I have only know this Virgo guy for almost a month, seen him twice only but we kept in touch via text, not all the time since he works a lot but there was some kinda communication. AND THEN he completely disappeared on me after making plans with me to meet for a date. He was gone for almost 2 weeks before that and we were texting on/off probably just 1-3x a day except the last two days when he was suppose to come back. I was texting him but he never replied which I am already kinda used to.
Anyway, one morning he texted me if I wanted to see him the next day since he is coming back so we made plans to go for dinner and movie. No time or place was set yet or any detail for that matter was set since I thought we would talk about it later or even several hours before. Next day came, I still haven't heard from him. No text. It was already late that night and I called and just went straight to voicemail so I left a message for him to call me back. That was yesterday. I sent him my last message today saying I don't know exactly what is going on but I hope is ok. I refuse to leave angry messages but man, I am hurt and pissed off...but really I am just hurt. I don't know how a person could do this to another person.
The truth or even some kinda lie is so much better than leaving the other person hanging and waiting for a call or a text. IF HE IS REALLY AVOIDING ME RIGHT NOW, OH MAN, I FELL FOR ALL THE LIES. Such a good liar. If there is even an excuse to why he has not even bothered to cancel or contact me, it better be like a life or death situation. I don't wish for something bad to have happened to him but my god I am broken hearted and hurt for what he did to me.
The only thing I can say to myself is that this too shall pass. I have not dated in a while since it took all that time for me to heal because of a bad break up and now when I finally decided to trust someone again and let my guard down, I have to meet the most horrible person in the whole world.
Anyway, I just needed to let it out. Thanks for reading.
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It's not like he is made a commitment to you.
Maybe he had other dates or something came up last minute. Less than a month and getting hurt already?
Sounds like you might be too sensitive or you are imagining this "relationship" to be more than it is".
What's your sign?
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Angel, I'm sorry he put you through that.
I know it's easier said than done, but I think you need to consider this a sign and leave him be.
I see what Cajun is saying, "maybe something came up", but the lack of contact to let you know he couldn't make it is a sign of disrespect, in my book. I don't know him, or his issue(s) but it could be one of many build-you-up/let-you-down's re: dates to come.
I do disagree w/Cajun, completely, at the "Sounds like you might be too sensitive or you are imagining this "relationship" to be more than it is"." If he's making a date to meet up with her, he should be respectful enough to keep her abreast of any changes in plans. I'm sure he'd want the same courtesy if the tables were turned.
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Posted by CLCNY30

I do disagree w/Cajun, completely, at the "Sounds like you might be too sensitive or you are imagining this "relationship" to be more than it is"." If he's making a date to meet up with her, he should be respectful enough to keep her abreast of any changes in plans. I'm sure he'd want the same courtesy if the tables were turned.



That's fine and dandy, but how many serious relationships do you develop in less than a month, seriously?
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regardless of whether it counts as a real relationship to you it was real to me. and I fell for lies that's all I can say. and the point of the matter is if something came up, it would be so easy to say to the other person 'hey i'm sorry something came up' even if it was a complete lie. i didn't ask him out, he asked me. and completely disappearing is utterly unacceptable and disrespectful. i wasn't looking for advice. just kind words probably just to get out of this funk.
thanks clcny30. i appreciate the kind words. i believe in karma that's why i would have never done something like that to another person since i dont want it done to me. but hey, there are lots of jerks in the world and i happen to meet one of them. whether this is a virgo trait or a personal one, it sucks big time.
and for the record, i probably would not date anymore Virgos, he is true blue Virgo and i dont even fucking believe in these things. the only reason i happened to found this site was when i was searching for info on him since he admitted to me he is true Virgo.
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If he said he was a true virgo, and he reacts like it, leave it. If he still has interest in you, he'll come around when he figured out and analyzed every part of it, and if it is worth to let you in in his life at this moment. Yes, you can be hurt or dissappointed by it. Or choose to go with it, and see what the outcome will be, and be a bit blunt about it.
I was also confused with my virgo man, but reading the archives and my will to understand my virgo, let me see that behind all this crap there are genuine people who really have feelings. And they're actually great people, if you don't let them sweep you of your feet emotionally.
If you're an emotional sign like me (pisces) just mellow it down, cause virgoans are allergic for us "deep feelers". They have emotion, they don't show it like we want them too. If he comes around and you still want to have some kind of relationship with him, just accept him like he is. Taking his space, even if it's annoying the way they'll take it, but for them that's a sign you're honest with them, and try to understand and accept their personalities IMO.
I don't agree about the statement of not dating any virgos in the future. Virgoans are also individuals, and this one, is not the same as the next.
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Posted by Cajunspirit
Posted by CLCNY30

I do disagree w/Cajun, completely, at the "Sounds like you might be too sensitive or you are imagining this "relationship" to be more than it is"." If he's making a date to meet up with her, he should be respectful enough to keep her abreast of any changes in plans. I'm sure he'd want the same courtesy if the tables were turned.



That's fine and dandy, but how many serious relationships do you develop in less than a month, seriously?
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My reply had absolutely nothing to do with a relationship.
If my friend of 2 months even were to ask to hang, set a date, and then just didn't call or confirm, I'd be turned off and question why I wanted to be friends with someone who could be so rude and careless of my time.
I never said anything about a relationship. Why are you assuming her wanting communication with him = her demanding marriage? lol.
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Posted by angelbabe
regardless of whether it counts as a real relationship to you it was real to me. and I fell for lies that's all I can say. and the point of the matter is if something came up, it would be so easy to say to the other person 'hey i'm sorry something came up' even if it was a complete lie. i didn't ask him out, he asked me. and completely disappearing is utterly unacceptable and disrespectful. i wasn't looking for advice. just kind words probably just to get out of this funk.
thanks clcny30. i appreciate the kind words. i believe in karma that's why i would have never done something like that to another person since i dont want it done to me. but hey, there are lots of jerks in the world and i happen to meet one of them. whether this is a virgo trait or a personal one, it sucks big time.
and for the record, i probably would not date anymore Virgos, he is true blue Virgo and i dont even fucking believe in these things. the only reason i happened to found this site was when i was searching for info on him since he admitted to me he is true Virgo.



a) I know you're mad, but don't be--trust me, it could be worse; you could be a year or two into a relationship with someone like this, and they could stand you up at the altar or something, lol. It's not funny, but you know what I mean.
b) I'm not going to be unfair to him, this could just be an isolated incident, stemming from a bad month or time period he's going through, where--instead of telling you this, he's taking on the comittment of hanging with you knowing that, chances are, it'll be cancelled, due to whatever he may be going through
c) I don't think he lied to you--I think he took on more than he can deal with. It's not cool, it hurts others, but nah, I don't think he lied. He could be interested, very interested, but distracted by w.e., and just not juggling his comittments well.
d) It doesn't seem to be just a Virgo trait. I know Pisces males who do this, Virgo males, Aquarian males, Cancer males...it could be more seen as a male trait? But then again, we've probably all done this in some form, and not realized how uncomfortable it made the other party feel.
e) I hope you are basing your feelings on Virgo men on more than just this Virgo. I know you're angry, but don't write off a whole sign based off of the bad experience with one.
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Well...like she said Big Grin
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Posted by angelbabe
Here is the gist. I have only know this Virgo guy for almost a month, seen him twice only but we kept in touch via text


Huh? You have only seen him twice? And you are getting all psycho already???
Anyway, one morning he texted me if I wanted to see him the next day since he is coming back so we made plans to go for dinner and movie. No time or place was set yet or any detail for that matter was set since I thought we would talk about it later or even several hours before. Next day came, I still haven't heard from him.


Does not sound like plans were actually made at all, he simply asked if you wanted to do something. Something better came up is all.
I am hurt and pissed off...but really I am just hurt. I don't know how a person could do this to another person.


Shall I repeat, you have seen him only twice... you are clearly over reacting.
IF HE IS REALLY AVOIDING ME RIGHT NOW, OH MAN, I FELL FOR ALL THE LIES. Such a good liar.


Oh, do please elaborate... on second thought, don't!
I have to meet the most horrible person in the whole world.
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Yeah, that's it, CLEARLY!
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Posted by Cajunspirit
What's your sign?


Can we take bets???
I vote: Leo smile
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I think she's a watersign Winking
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Posted by Pisces2202
I think she's a watersign Winking


agreed
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Could be water... but she seems awfully focused on what he has done to her. Sensitive is one thing, but, in my experience, Leo's take it to the extreme with attention (or the lack there of) being focused on them by a romantic/love interest. And, they don't get it when someone's just not that into them - they take it so personal.
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Maybe a scorp...I tend to see loads of scorpis entangled with virgos
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Posted by Pisces2202
Maybe a scorp...I tend to see loads of scorpis entangled with virgos


I was thinking this! A scorp, or a cancer.
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usually I see scorpis yelling that they won't date another virgo anymore....LOL
Just get to know your guy before you yell...
it's not sign related i think, but we women need to learn not to expect so much from our guy...Men are SIMPLE creatures...sleep, work, eat, and a nice up and down from time to time...everything what you receive more...be GLAD!
LOL
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Amen to that...
But i can see why lots of women go les, LOL!!!
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true, but get to know the one you want to date or stop whining...what happened with putting effort in another and build from scratch? if it's not there right away we quit immediately...I blame rushy society LOL!!
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I concur. I think we're just afraid that we're going to put all this time in just to be let down real hard in the end.
You look back in the day (early 90's) and see how hard couples worked to get together and stay together, and you compare it to the crap going on nowadays? It's sad. It seems like real love/true love is dying, if not already extinct.
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totally agree with that!! I'll always be the everlasting romantic Pisces, sorry that's my nature, and I will do everything in my power to work and fight for my mate. I just can't do different. Why would I ever want to be in a relationship when I don't want to put effort, time and energy in it? Waste of time maybe, but you just can't dump hearts because "you don't have time"
And now for me it's time to sleep Big Grin
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Posted by CLCNY30

My reply had absolutely nothing to do with a relationship.
If my friend of 2 months even were to ask to hang, set a date, and then just didn't call or confirm, I'd be turned off and question why I wanted to be friends with someone who could be so rude and careless of my time.


Then your answer is not in tandem with the context.
I never said anything about a relationship. Why are you assuming her wanting communication with him = her demanding marriage? lol.

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I made no such implications.
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Posted by Cajunspirit
Posted by CLCNY30

My reply had absolutely nothing to do with a relationship.
If my friend of 2 months even were to ask to hang, set a date, and then just didn't call or confirm, I'd be turned off and question why I wanted to be friends with someone who could be so rude and careless of my time.


Then your answer is not in tandem with the context.
I never said anything about a relationship. Why are you assuming her wanting communication with him = her demanding marriage? lol.



I made no such implications.
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Actually, I answered her question from a general viewpoint. No one really knows their story, but them and God--I can't judge either of them on it. But speaking from a GENERAL POV, having someone bail out on you with no excuses or at least a bit of warning is inconsiderate.
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Posted by CLCNY30

Actually, I answered her question from a general viewpoint. No one really knows their story, but them and God--I can't judge either of them on it. But speaking from a GENERAL POV, having someone bail out on you with no excuses or at least a bit of warning is inconsiderate.


Agreed.
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Hey Angelbabe, I understand how you feel. Even though the plans weren't concrete; a courtesy call would have been good on his part. It's not about you being sensitive or whatever; you just want to know what the hell happened to him? Virgo males tend to disappear like that and will leave you with a big question mark over your head. I can't answer for him, but for him not to call or respond to you, he could be trying to figure you out or he has a lot on his plate. It could be both. Also being the fact that you contacted him twice he's going to pull back even more because now he may feel as if he owes you an explanation or he feels pressured by you. I could be wrong because I don't know either one of you, but in a situation like this Virgos will run for the hills.
Give it some time and keep yourself busy.
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Posted by Cajunspirit
Posted by CLCNY30

Actually, I answered her question from a general viewpoint. No one really knows their story, but them and God--I can't judge either of them on it. But speaking from a GENERAL POV, having someone bail out on you with no excuses or at least a bit of warning is inconsiderate.


Agreed.
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Personally, I don't see him as bailing on anything. He suggested they do something, however, no plans were actually made.
My gf left me a msg last night about getting together tonight or tomorrow night. We don't have specific plans and if we don't get together - I don't/can't get a hold of her or vice versa - she, nor I are going to think twice about it. Same thing with my Virgo, he mentioned earlier about getting dinner someplace tonight, at a specific someplace at that, but no time was set, if it didn't pan out, so be it.
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Posted by catguy
Posted by lildol
Could be water... but she seems awfully focused on what he has done to her. Sensitive is one thing, but, in my experience, Leo's take it to the extreme with attention (or the lack there of) being focused on them by a romantic/love interest. And, they don't get it when someone's just not that into them - they take it so personal.



Oh, yeah, lump all us Leos together. hahahaha
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You know its true! Tongue
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