I am beyond confused...
This topic was created in the Virgo forum by chrix on Saturday, January 19, 2008 and has 10 replies.
Hi all,
I've been browsing these boards for a while, and I figured this would be a great place to gain some insight on my virgo. I've read quite a few threads about virgo men disappearing, and I'm here to ask why it's happening in my situation.
My current virgo and me (scorpio) have been dating for a year and a half, and we usually have a really great bond, understanding each other without words, having the best times together, etc.
He refers to me as his soul mate, and I feel much the same way about him.
But there are a couple of things that irk me, and I'm trying really hard to understand why he does it...
1. Why, when things are going really well, does it feel like he hits the self-destruct button on our relationship (e.g. gets mad at me for something really small, gets really jealous for no reason, or just creates a fight for the heck of it), goes into hiding, and then returns again a while longer, sometimes with an apology, usually not?
2. Why does he always need to get the last word in when we're arguing, going so far as to hang up the phone or sign off while I'm in mid-sentence?
3. Why won't he communicate when things aren't going well? I'm the type that likes to be there and offer support (and part of me really likes being needed).
How do I go about talking to him about this stuff without having him say things like "well if you don't like it, just leave"? Is this typical of a virgo, or is there something bigger going on?
I really want us to work, but sometimes it feels a little one-sided, especially when he disappears on me.
Thanks for your input everyone! =)
I've been browsing these boards for a while, and I figured this would be a great place to gain some insight on my virgo. I've read quite a few threads about virgo men disappearing, and I'm here to ask why it's happening in my situation.
My current virgo and me (scorpio) have been dating for a year and a half, and we usually have a really great bond, understanding each other without words, having the best times together, etc.
He refers to me as his soul mate, and I feel much the same way about him.
But there are a couple of things that irk me, and I'm trying really hard to understand why he does it...
1. Why, when things are going really well, does it feel like he hits the self-destruct button on our relationship (e.g. gets mad at me for something really small, gets really jealous for no reason, or just creates a fight for the heck of it), goes into hiding, and then returns again a while longer, sometimes with an apology, usually not?
2. Why does he always need to get the last word in when we're arguing, going so far as to hang up the phone or sign off while I'm in mid-sentence?
3. Why won't he communicate when things aren't going well? I'm the type that likes to be there and offer support (and part of me really likes being needed).
How do I go about talking to him about this stuff without having him say things like "well if you don't like it, just leave"? Is this typical of a virgo, or is there something bigger going on?
I really want us to work, but sometimes it feels a little one-sided, especially when he disappears on me.
Thanks for your input everyone! =)
Chrix:
>I'm trying really hard to understand why he does it...
I'm stumped. Your V-guy is alien to me. His ways and reactions are too weird for my way of thinking. Sorry I can't be of any help.
>I'm trying really hard to understand why he does it...
I'm stumped. Your V-guy is alien to me. His ways and reactions are too weird for my way of thinking. Sorry I can't be of any help.
chrix,
I'm a Virgo Man who's married to a Scorpio Woman (going on 15 months). Our courtship had some bumps & rough spots (in fact, that's how I found DXP), but not exactly as you've described. What it sounds like to me is IMMATURITY on his part. Also, in my experience, Scorps & Virgs have difficulty communicating verbally what they're feeling strongly inside, and that can definitely cause problems.
Even though we love each other very much, we can still hurt each other -- though I tend to be the one with the sharper tongue! His ultimatums are troubling -- sounds like he doesn't think it's gonna work.
Wish I could help....
Some good insights into the Virg man in the book "He's Just Not in the Stars" by Jenni Kosarin. Don't know if it will help in your situation, but knowledge is power to us Scorpgals, and it may give you the confidence to keep sticking it out with the twit
Some good insights into the Virg man in the book "He's Just Not in the Stars" by Jenni Kosarin. Don't know if it will help in your situation, but knowledge is power to us Scorpgals, and it may give you the confidence to keep sticking it out with the twit
I don't even know where to start on this one....well I'll try to see if anything we do relates and if I've got enough insight to clarrify (well in your case decode) our character. I'm sure you know that Virgs like their space (like the Scorpion) and don't like to be forced for anything. Also, what you may think of as small to you isn't the case for him. Minimizing a Virgos feelings or ideas is a great way to ask for whatever you're bound to recieve.....(now it's easy to be objective when you're not the topic of discussion ain't it? lol that's the beauty of it!) lol I'm not sure what it is, but scorps love to to belittle things that have nothing to do with themselves.....my father does it without even realizing that he TOO plays apart in the mayhem!!
But more too the point, maybe the guy has lost someone who's meant alot to him, and it jarred him emotionally (it would explain the jealosy and the fightstarting maybe he's trying to test your loyalty but you've got your limits and he should respect it bottom line)....
I can say I'm like that too, but i've always been interested in hearing what someone else has said in an argument rather than just hanging (but my scorpio father pushes me way beyond my ability to tolerate becuase he thinks in the moment and if his current obssession is trying to get you to hurt he'll try...but he's met his match on more than one occasion with me), as long as they're rational and not stuck in that feeling phase where they can't hear anything and are trying to ram something down my throat then I will respond: 'if you don't like it, you can leave' or something to that effect; I'm not going to put up with someone bossing me around anywhere or anytime, this is precisely what Virgos try to avoid becuase we are prone to blow sky high when something pressess us too much....(I hate to show people that a situation is getting the better of me)i also don't communicate when things aren't going well becuase I don't like to reveal my feelings (besides it's better to look for solutions anyway).
But more too the point, maybe the guy has lost someone who's meant alot to him, and it jarred him emotionally (it would explain the jealosy and the fightstarting maybe he's trying to test your loyalty but you've got your limits and he should respect it bottom line)....
I can say I'm like that too, but i've always been interested in hearing what someone else has said in an argument rather than just hanging (but my scorpio father pushes me way beyond my ability to tolerate becuase he thinks in the moment and if his current obssession is trying to get you to hurt he'll try...but he's met his match on more than one occasion with me), as long as they're rational and not stuck in that feeling phase where they can't hear anything and are trying to ram something down my throat then I will respond: 'if you don't like it, you can leave' or something to that effect; I'm not going to put up with someone bossing me around anywhere or anytime, this is precisely what Virgos try to avoid becuase we are prone to blow sky high when something pressess us too much....(I hate to show people that a situation is getting the better of me)i also don't communicate when things aren't going well becuase I don't like to reveal my feelings (besides it's better to look for solutions anyway).
besides, if you're feeding him so much power by saying he hits the self-destruct button on your relationship, than maybe you aren't as interested in making it work as you lead on....a relationship is work on both parts, and if you even SECRETLY doubt the two of you, hang it up before it gets ugly....secret doubts come to light sooner or later and just eats away at you two like a cancer...but the disappearing acts are usually to get some space from a situation we're too close to.....it's getting that freedom back to clear our head, to find another approach to the matter. We don't like being in something having it stress us out or wrack our brains so we need time to think to reflect on our actions and to look for a better way....just keep working at it....at least you're both stubborn! lol 
lol
I'm so over this virgo stuff. I turned the tables and have HIM waiting for me to call. Sometimes you have to give them a taste of their own medicine. Give them a wake-up call. If you've warned them, show them! Action speaks louder than words. Disappear on him for a couple of days. Turn your phone off. Hide your car around the corner. Keep the lights off because one thing I've noticed is no one has brought up the fact that they have stalking tendencies. Virgos are very obsessive compulsive.
How do I go about talking to him about this stuff without having him say things like "well if you don't like it, just leave"? Is this typical of a virgo, or is there something bigger going on?
---------------------------
hahaha ... emotional manipulation at it's best, it sounds.
My way or the highway and if you don't like it, fuck off .. all the while, he maintains ...
"He refers to me as his soul mate, and I feel much the same way about him."
---------------------------
hahaha ... emotional manipulation at it's best, it sounds.
My way or the highway and if you don't like it, fuck off .. all the while, he maintains ...
"He refers to me as his soul mate, and I feel much the same way about him."
He, or any other man, would say that to me one time and one time only ..
"How my ass look?" .. would be the only response he ever got from me again.
"How my ass look?" .. would be the only response he ever got from me again.
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