I need some help from the V guys.....

My v guy who never talks...now wants to have a serious talk immediately. This is very uncharacteristic of him. Everything has been going fine actually almost too good for the past couple weeks and this just kind of came out of nowhere so i'm a little scared that maybe he's changing his mind about things...I guess why a talk now? any thoughts guys?

Looks like the Virgo mind has been at work once again 😉

Ah, no worries yet menaremysteries....none of us can really answer this question for you...it is what it is and you will be fine. Be open, listen to him, listen to your heart and go from there. All will be just fine - it will be what it is supposed to be.

"This is very uncharacteristic of him." - actually, he is being himself, you are now beginning to see another part of him. I believe that we constantly are changing, growing, evolving - it's wonderful to find a way to embrace change.

Once we begin to focus on a person being a "certain" way, then I think we are heading for trouble because nothing is as we think it is. This is what is so neat about relationships...we are in a constant state of discovery.

Best of wishes to you, MAM

Thank you! I guess because of past relationships and heartbreaks I'm afraid he's going to blindside me and say.....this just isn't working out...without warning. I mean I guess what else is there to say in all this time he's never wanted to talk....and he won't tell me why

dear menaremysteries,

like freebird said, don't worry too much.
even if in the worst case scenario, he had bad news, there is nothing you can do to change his mind right at that second...we can come with a plan b then.

let's think about the best case scenario though, maybe he just wants to work things out with you, so he is trying to say something that will be edifying for you both...

i have scared my ex gfs in the past with the "we need to talk" intro...even just recently...i was talking w a girl i'm trying to work things out with and when i said that i remember how that comes across...so i said "don't worry is nothing bad, is actually about things i'm realizing lately, i appreciate you very much"

so, in the past when i said "we need to talk" i mostly was referring to things i had problems with or didn't like about the relationship BUT that i wanted to work on or improve...or even good stuff i had to say about the other person...like realizing how much the mean to me.

breaking up is hard for virgos, so unless you think he has a really good reason...you shouldn't worry much about it...and if want to cool off or get some space give him that (if that is okay with you) because that may only mean he's getting scared about getting too close or beginning to feel something...

best luck, let us know how that goes!

vll

I will thank you...we actually just recovered from the whole space thing....things were going pretty good he was even trying to meet half way so that's why I'm tripping a little. Like what is this all about. We haven't had an argument or a fight...everything seemed to be good. So that's why I'm scared it's like I don't know what to prepare myself for. I've told and shown this man in everyway I know how I care so on and so on! I'm a Libra and I hate surprises like that. It reminds me of when I would get "the talk" after parent teacher conferences! I just feel like if you want to end it just say it now so it's over....

you are libra, lol, i was dating one for months...still struggling with what to do about it all...she's adorable and so fun...i'm just a bit scared of the closeness and openess she displayed just the first few months...

isn't so ironic, because right now i'm not talking to my libra and she's going nuts...she has called me, texted me, e-mailed me...yeah...driving me crazy, but of course i still like her...

i just needed to sort some things through...maybe he's thinking something like that too....

and we virgos do have problems ending things...we take our time to make decisions...especially when libras are so cute!!!

if he ends things, don't fight it much...let him chase you too at some point...he needs to realize what he wants and needs...
and if you want him back, use logic, and be a bit hard-to-get...he will miss you like crazy...then it will be up to you to give him a chance or not.

Please don't say it's the space thing...I mean theres patience and then theres okay you just started talking to me regularly again after a month and now you want some space...he will get all the space he needs I can't take the yo-yo anymore. I always try and reassure him of my feelings.....like I said for the past couple of weeks everything has been great. So if this is about space I know it will truly hurt me but I'm going to have to let it go. If you aren't sure and it's been almost a year then you'll never be sure about me.

Sorry I'm a Libra and along with that closeness we need fairness and reciprocity

VLL....we just went through that a couple of weeks ago. I can't take it again.....I wish I could but my heart just won't 😢 Maybe I should just be the first to end it.....Nothing he said made me think this would be the outcome I just always expect the worse and hope that I'm wrong!

oh menaremysteries...

sometimes is hard for me to grasp how close/aware to their feelings some people are...maybe its a libra thing...i don't know...but my libra is very in touch with her heart too.

i am, but try to not think about it so much...

if you end things first bc you dont feel so well, i bet he will be shocked but he will respect you for that.

but before you think about anything talk to him and figure out what is that he has to say...maybe right now you feel like you wouldn't understand...but maybe once you hear what he has to say you will...

and please don't think the worst, he obviously likes you, he probably just has issues to take care of...either in his heart or mind....you need to be honest with him about what actions his actions provoke in you too...don't just talk about 'feelings' but also actions and reactions.

don't think about it much now. is not like you can control anything from this point until you hear from him, can you?

Hey MAM....how about this? Let's change "I just always expect the worse and hope that I am wrong."

to - "I always expect the best! all good things come to me easily and effortlessly."

Our minds are very very powerful - what we think, we get. Self fulfilling prophecies.

If he by chance needs to end, pause this relationship or whatever happens - be grateful as it truly will be a gift to you. Anytime someone walks away from us - it is a gift, our lessons have been learned and someone else will soon enter for yet another neat cool adventure! 😉

My thoughts are with you ....I KNOW you will be fine.

Thank you freebird....VLL there is nothing I can control! But could you answer me this...if everything was going good between you and your girl and you were making a conscious effort based on her feelings and what she has expressed to you...would you step back if everything was going well?

"But could you answer me this...if everything was going good between you and your girl and you were making a conscious effort based on her feelings and what she has expressed to you...would you step back if everything was going well?"

honestly yes, it is possible.

because actions about love are not only based on feelings and how good a relationship is going for me...but also what state of mind i am in...what can i give to the person...and what i need to do with other matters.

my relationship with my libra was going great...she did something that hurted me a bit this week, but i'm sure we could have worked it out...

but i had issues with my ex (she is trying to get back) and my libra has a little kid (who i love) and i'm scared to get into a relationship again this soon...and have feelings for her...or anyone for that matter...

so i rather back off...i even sent her an e-mail saying that.

i had nothing to do with how much i care for her or how wonderful she has been.
it had to do with where i am, what i can give, and what's going on in my mind.

i think she deserves all the happiness of the world...and i wish i could give her that right now, but i don't know that i can, so in order to be fair to her i need to be fair to what we have...and that may mean only friendship...or space for a while until she and i feel better...

love is a result of many different factors for me.

maybe your virgo is where he needs to be for you though, so just wait to hear what he has to say k.

hugs my friend!

vll

Thank you 🙂....I hope that's the case cross your fingers for me...when he told me we had to talk he ended it really nicely...so I don't know. Who knows if it is bad then I must say this is the WORST learning experience I've ever had!

can somebody explain to me why is it so hard for two people who know that they love each other but can't be happy with what they have?

love is not just about fun and good times. correct me if i'm wrong but why is it so hard for some people to be really sad when they know that they love each other?

reposting..

love is not just about fun and good times. correct me if i'm wrong but why is it so hard for some people to be really HAPPY and grateful when they know that they love each other?

.. and just be contented with what/whom they have?

yes there can be alot of hurts and alot of sacrifice and alot of pain but that's part of loving? isn't it? why can't people just be grateful for their love and just treasure it?

Sorry I had to take a final. I'm back

See dyr...I don't know about that...I'm a naturally scarry person

How old is he?

He's in his 30s

See to me he puts on a good poker face. I never know what he's thinking or how he's feeling. I just know by his actions and for the past couple of weeks he's been really good about being considerate of my feelings and making contact with me. Help my Dyr!

yes there can be alot of hurts and alot of sacrifice and alot of pain but that's part of loving? isn't it? why can't people just be grateful for their love and just treasure it?

That's what I'm saying.....

vgurl,

i think you make a good point. people should learn to be happy and greatful with the love and wonderful things they have.
i think sometimes choosing to give in...to love though takes a lot of surrendering that not everyone is willing to make.

it may have to do with where someone is at some point in their lives you know.

if one day i find true love, of course i'll treasure it, but for that, i have to see first and acknowledge that it is what it is and what i want...and what i can give.

i think virgos take the time to understand love...but when they do they truly do love...i'm sure it takes over their mind and thoughts...
it would have to be the precise time...

menaremysteries,

how are you? how did the talk go?
hearing from your story encourages me to cherish my situation with my libra...to be always honest with her...

i hope all went well, and that for whatever reason he had to talk to you, he brought honesty to your heart.

vll

Well it went okay.....we had a long talk which started off bad...on the receiving end. But we eventually came to the conclusion that we are both going to try and be more open with each other....Honestly the conversation started off not so good but was something we both needed....so far though it's only been about 48hrs things have been really good. So we will see. I think the main thing is that you can't use your mind to control your heart sometimes you have to use your emotions to guide you and put logic to the side.

that's what i'm saying. delayed gratification. anyone heard of it? the story of the road less travelled. it's a good one.

there's nothing wrong with logic but when the love is a mature kind it's a lasting kind. people can be very submissive to give up their needs/wants in a relationship to make it work, but for those whose love is not mature yet they can find zillion reasons to fall out of it. it's actually a choice. i think i've been saying this too many times.