I will probably NEVER understand
This topic was created in the Virgo forum by Safri2 on Friday, January 11, 2008 and has 4 replies.
Hi everyone,
I'm not exactly new - posted on here about 2 years ago (where has the time gone!), but have been looking at the messageboards again recently. Remember many of you from the last time I was on here : )
Just thought I'd throw a penny in the purse as I have been wondering about it lately. Just to recap: I'm taurus. Worked with a virgo guy two years ago (he is now 29) - had this amazing relationship (just friends, but connected on so many levels)...everyone thought we were perfect for each other and couldn't understand why it didn't go any further. This went on for 2 years (neither of us dated anyone else) and me (so naive and kind of shy) was so scared of rejection - we just never discussed it outright.
During the second year of our friendship, him and a friend decide to go tour OZ for a year and he made me promise to come and find him there once I have to leave the UK (I'm south african and my visa was going to expire while he was in OZ). So me and 2 friends went travelling (first NZ and then OZ). He wanted to travel together and even before I came he told me that he made a mistake - that we should've been together etc. etc. Mid-way through our travels things all of a sudden changed and i suspected there was another girl (don't know how serious)
By this time I had had enough - didn't confront him with it, just packed my bags early the next morning and left, without saying anything - with full intention to never have contact again. He knew how I felt and what I thought, because my one friend was still travelling with them and I'm sure she filled him in.
So that was that, I eventually came back to SA and have not had any contact with him, until December 2007 - An email from him (exactly 1 year after i had left) trying to brake the ice (as he puts it). Tells me he misses me a lot, have been thinking about when I left a lot all this time, which made him very angry then, as how could I leave like that, knowing we will never see each other again. Though he 'understands why I left'. Then goes on to tell me what he's been up to, how much I would just love where he lives now (in UK) and how he hopes we can put everything behind us and forget about it. What's that about??
I'm not exactly new - posted on here about 2 years ago (where has the time gone!), but have been looking at the messageboards again recently. Remember many of you from the last time I was on here : )
Just thought I'd throw a penny in the purse as I have been wondering about it lately. Just to recap: I'm taurus. Worked with a virgo guy two years ago (he is now 29) - had this amazing relationship (just friends, but connected on so many levels)...everyone thought we were perfect for each other and couldn't understand why it didn't go any further. This went on for 2 years (neither of us dated anyone else) and me (so naive and kind of shy) was so scared of rejection - we just never discussed it outright.
During the second year of our friendship, him and a friend decide to go tour OZ for a year and he made me promise to come and find him there once I have to leave the UK (I'm south african and my visa was going to expire while he was in OZ). So me and 2 friends went travelling (first NZ and then OZ). He wanted to travel together and even before I came he told me that he made a mistake - that we should've been together etc. etc. Mid-way through our travels things all of a sudden changed and i suspected there was another girl (don't know how serious)
By this time I had had enough - didn't confront him with it, just packed my bags early the next morning and left, without saying anything - with full intention to never have contact again. He knew how I felt and what I thought, because my one friend was still travelling with them and I'm sure she filled him in.
So that was that, I eventually came back to SA and have not had any contact with him, until December 2007 - An email from him (exactly 1 year after i had left) trying to brake the ice (as he puts it). Tells me he misses me a lot, have been thinking about when I left a lot all this time, which made him very angry then, as how could I leave like that, knowing we will never see each other again. Though he 'understands why I left'. Then goes on to tell me what he's been up to, how much I would just love where he lives now (in UK) and how he hopes we can put everything behind us and forget about it. What's that about??
Hi DearDiary,
What you said is exactly what I'm wondering - I had often in the past told him that I don't want to keep contact once I have to leave the UK, because in my head I just thought that if he could not be bothered to just see what we would be like together (even if it didn't work out) there is no way that I could torture myself further and keep in contact. He couldn't understand why I would just not want to have any contact anymore.
He's also told me in the past that he doesn't believe in long distance relationships - that it can work. I disagreed of course, but we didn't address the problem. We made half-hearted attempts to talk about things, but I just got so scared - neither one of us could ever just be straight. I promised myself I would never be liket that ever again with anyone - from now on they will know how I feel.
I think it just feels awful, because even now I can tell I still have feelings for him, though I would NEVER have contacted him and it did get easier to put things out of my head - and then all of a sudden, he emails. He even said that leaving the way I did, must've meant that our friendship didn't mean as much to me as to him. Honestly, is he completely stupid? It's exactly the opposite - I left because I felt so very much for him, and knew that I would never ever be able to be just friends. He knew how much I hurt - couldn't he just let go? I tell you, when a taurus falls in love, she falls so hard, it's difficult to get up again. BTW, I did reply - a short one - just told him what I should've said such a long time ago and left it at that.
I sympathise with you so much, DearDiary. How do you feel about your situation?
What you said is exactly what I'm wondering - I had often in the past told him that I don't want to keep contact once I have to leave the UK, because in my head I just thought that if he could not be bothered to just see what we would be like together (even if it didn't work out) there is no way that I could torture myself further and keep in contact. He couldn't understand why I would just not want to have any contact anymore.
He's also told me in the past that he doesn't believe in long distance relationships - that it can work. I disagreed of course, but we didn't address the problem. We made half-hearted attempts to talk about things, but I just got so scared - neither one of us could ever just be straight. I promised myself I would never be liket that ever again with anyone - from now on they will know how I feel.
I think it just feels awful, because even now I can tell I still have feelings for him, though I would NEVER have contacted him and it did get easier to put things out of my head - and then all of a sudden, he emails. He even said that leaving the way I did, must've meant that our friendship didn't mean as much to me as to him. Honestly, is he completely stupid? It's exactly the opposite - I left because I felt so very much for him, and knew that I would never ever be able to be just friends. He knew how much I hurt - couldn't he just let go? I tell you, when a taurus falls in love, she falls so hard, it's difficult to get up again. BTW, I did reply - a short one - just told him what I should've said such a long time ago and left it at that.
I sympathise with you so much, DearDiary. How do you feel about your situation?
Hey VirgoKitten,
Strange how you say about the half assed answers Virgos don't like, because that's exactly what it felt like all the time we knew each other - everytime something along the lines of our relationship came up it was as if he gave me all these half assed answers or went quiet. Admittedly I was too shy/insecure to bring it up as well, but as a woman I feel like a man should take the lead in this area - call me old fashioned!
However, I did feel like the fact that my UK visa was only temporary, did play a role in all of this. But, typical taurus, I believe: where there's a will there's a way. If you really want something you'll fight for it. In the end I just thought: well....he must've not really wanted this, because he would've fought for it if he did. That's why I left.
Now that he's emailed, he brought back so many things - so true about virgos: they remember very, very well - he brought up things that happened so long ago...it surprises me how he can still remember things like my dream car, which I only told him once in small conversation like 3 and a half years ago : )
Anyway, its a bit easier being friends when you're in different countries....a bit sad though, coz i keep thinking what could've been......
He told me previously he really hopes I come and find him in Australia when he was there....a small part of me now really hopes he comes and find me in South Africa...though I don't think Virgos are good with big, emotional demonstrations : )
Thanks for the feedback....it's nice to vent somewhere.
Strange how you say about the half assed answers Virgos don't like, because that's exactly what it felt like all the time we knew each other - everytime something along the lines of our relationship came up it was as if he gave me all these half assed answers or went quiet. Admittedly I was too shy/insecure to bring it up as well, but as a woman I feel like a man should take the lead in this area - call me old fashioned!
However, I did feel like the fact that my UK visa was only temporary, did play a role in all of this. But, typical taurus, I believe: where there's a will there's a way. If you really want something you'll fight for it. In the end I just thought: well....he must've not really wanted this, because he would've fought for it if he did. That's why I left.
Now that he's emailed, he brought back so many things - so true about virgos: they remember very, very well - he brought up things that happened so long ago...it surprises me how he can still remember things like my dream car, which I only told him once in small conversation like 3 and a half years ago : )
Anyway, its a bit easier being friends when you're in different countries....a bit sad though, coz i keep thinking what could've been......
He told me previously he really hopes I come and find him in Australia when he was there....a small part of me now really hopes he comes and find me in South Africa...though I don't think Virgos are good with big, emotional demonstrations : )
Thanks for the feedback....it's nice to vent somewhere.
Hey DearDiary! This made me laugh, thank you, I needed it today
"from what I've seen with women involved with Virgo men...you will NEED a place to vent cause the moment ya try venting to them it's like throwing a cat in a bath tub lol, they try to claw their way out and if ya force them to stay they hunch down and growl at you cause really...who likes to be held down? Well apart from sexual acts haha."
=)
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