Im pulling my hair out-My VIRGO sends mixed signal

OK, I met my Virgo at the mall. HE came out after me and askd me if I needed help with my bags. I told him no, but he held my door for me so that I could get in my truck. We talk for a few minutes, and that few mins turned into a few hours. He told me has recently seperated from his ex finance (4 months) and I told him I was engaged (known the person for less than 1 year and who lived out of state). We talked about religion and how in both of our relationships we did not have sex. How we wanted to wait until we were married this this time to be intimate with our significant other. He asked me if he could call me and I said no, but I took his business card. In a way I was interested and I was having difficulties with my fiance of a few weeks. That night when I got home I sent him a text msg saying that I enjoyed his convo and I hoped he had a good nite. He sent a positive response. The next morning I texted him and sent him a few pics (classy), and we texted each other throughout the day. Then we decided to meet up coffee and ended up going to eat. This was Fri (we met Thursday). Then Sat we went out to eat, dancing and went back to his place. The attraction was there and we had been flirting all night (he is the first man to touch me in over a year, so I was hot and bothered). We fooled around and I was getting ready to leave when he picked meup and took me to the bedroom. Well we had sex, and I went home (I felt aweful). I ended up calling my fiance and telling him, thus endidng my engagement. We saw each other again Sunday and pretty much talked to each other everyday. I got use to seeing him then he went to MIAMI for Labor Day Weekend. We spoke everal times while he was out there, then I went to ATL. I took him and his friends to the airport and when I returned he picked me up and took me straight to school. He is the total gentleman (walked me to class and everything). He would cook dinner for me and we would cuddle and watch tv. We talked about how we felt after having sex and said we didnt want to do it anymore. Well I slept over a few days later and we ended up doing it. he told me how he felt and we decided that we were trying to work on having a religious relationship so we would dtop doing anything that could lead us back to us having sex. After that convo we still saw each other and spent time together. He met me for lunch almost every other day. Then last week I found out he was going to the Dominica. He cancelled our Sat night date and .

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I met him for lunch that friday. For some strange reason I felt uneasy, so I decided to drive by his house on my way home. I wanted to see him and give him a hug. I kept tryin to call and he didnt pick up. I showed up at his house and he almost had a heart attack. If looks could kill I would be dead. He told me how he never had anyone pop up at his house. How was very personal and only intro ppl to his family when he felt like it. I heard a female voice inside, so later he pointed out a car and said how his sister and bro was there. Anywho, he made me fell aweful I was pretty much in tears. He toldme how his ex did that, and how he needed time to think about everything, how we needed to slow down and get to know each other better. He walked away and said he would call. I asked him if he wanted me to leave him alone and he turned around and said no how he didnt say that. he gave me a kiss on my forehead and told me goodnight. He called the next day I didnt answer. I called him on Sun to see if I was still going to see him and he said ok. That night I still felt awful but didnt say anything to him about it. I was cold towards him and when he asked I just brushed it off. I asked him for my bath supplies i left over there. I then went to the bathroom and threw my toothbrush he had gotten me in the traash and saw some womens hair on in the sink. I was pissed and left earlier not bringin it up. I gave him his bday card and he walked me to the door. The next night he asked me to take him and his bro to the airport. He sent me a text msg 3 days later saying good morning and that was it. then the following sunday he sent me a msg saying he had landed in MIA and he was heading home. i asked him if he need a ride he said no (flying in too late). The next day he didnt call so i sent him a text in the mornin asking if he made it. he sent a msg saying yes he did and thanx. that day no call, so i called him. we talke for about 15 mins and he said he would call back. he didnt call back yesterday or today. I sent him a text this morning and he replied good morning. So I asked him if he was ok because he seemed distant and got no reply. So, i sent a text msg saying that whatever it is 4m one friend to another I will pray for him. He has been distant. What do you think is going on? I have been honest with him from day one. HELP.

It looks like he was given out strong signal in the beginning of your relationship. At some point those signal started dying down. I always wonder when is the point of no return? When does a guy turn off that signal that tells us that he still interest? I think is right after the 2nd time of sex. The first time, they love it and they want seconds. After the third time they start freaking out because they still want the sex but dont want the commitment.

And yes, when a guy don't have an incling to introduce you to his world, family side or friends, they just want to keep you at margin of things.

I think sometimes guys prefer to avoid a confrontation as to explaining why they send mixed signals because they dont like to be caught lying. Basically, they are really lying to themselves when they do this kind of things to a good girl like you.

Personally .. I think he was giving out the exact signal he is suppose to under the circumstances .. it's you who are confused and thinking his signals should be ones of commitment .. you were the one sending mixed messages. You had a finance and this Virgo man was able to get your clothes off anyway .. in his eyes, this makes you something to keep on the side, but, not worthy much when it comes to honor and trustworthiness.

So, he keeps you around with enough charm to get in your pants and then blows you off when you become all clingy and smothering and thinking he's suppose to be all in love and shit .. lol

Can I walk you to the car? NO .. then you talk for hours
Can I call you? No .. then you go dancing with him
Want to wait until marriage to fuck? Yes .. then your clothes accidently fall off, several times.

If you are engaged to one man, sleep with another .. the other is NOT going to respect you .. geeez, ladies .. you say, you were honest with him .. as though words are suppose to speak louder than action.

Com'on people ... wake up. You actually think a Virgo is going to honor you, trust you, eventhough you betray your finance?

haha

When you went over to his house and thought there was another girl there .. why the hell be upset about that? You're not his girl, you're his fuck, lol. That was proven to him as soon as you slept with him while engaged to another man.

OMG...

You fucked him, claiming to be religious, so therefore breaking a commandment eagerly and without remorse (several times), the first time, having a man to whom you promised to be faithful, you were committed to your fiance .. and then fucked another man, and now you think this man is suppose to believe you are chaste? You think he is suppose to show respect to you?

OMG ... sleeping, the world is asleep .. ignornace.

It drives me nuts .. things like this.

Because of religious beliefs, you wouldn't sleep with your FIANCE .. then jumped in bed with him, lol .. maybe you should tell this to your God and see if he believes this Virgo is treating you wrong.

This thread is funny ..... you talk for hours, text, go dancing, have an exciting and thrilling time, have sex .. THEN tell your fiance. This Virgo had just recently broke up with his girlfriend of 4 months, according to you, so he wasn't being unfaithful.

He's not giving you mixed signals .. he's treating you exactly as you are projecting yourself when it comes to your self-respect

You're easy piece of ass and he knows it ..

This is the signal YOU gave him when you fucked with while engaged to another man to whom you were suppose to remain faithful.

lol

That way I see it. I don't think she would have had any idea he was looking to have some NSA fun there or a sexual toy, especially if she isn't sexually active already. Its not like he walked up to her and called her peaches and said she's had a nice a $ $ . How would she have clearly seen that coming?
Off the subject of him not being a good catch. Obviously whatever moved her about him to take action, should signal that there is something missing from her fiancee that she needs perhaps. Her mind is telling her she's not happy and thats a big thing. I doubt it was an act of pure libido just cause he smiled at her nicely.
She was saying "no" because perhaps morally that was her head telling her its wrong, but also she allowed the conversation to take place because something else in her said to listen? Maybe her fiancee is wrong for her or maybe she's scared to commit like that for life now? I don't know.
He may be a wolf in disguise, however him crossing her path may be her best thing or ticket to true happiness that maybe she was settling with her current guy or not as content as should be. Theres no disloyalty in realizing you aren't right for someone. However yes it wasn't upfront made to him earlier if thats the case understood.
If she found him more exciting or just something in there. If you reflect on it, what made you attracted to him or feel something it may help you now moving forward as a lesson. Lets not clonk you on the head for being relgious, perhaps the only label she can get is passionate and you trusted someone until they gave you a reason not to. You don't seem like you would be doing this regularly. You acted on you emotions and impulse.
I feel accusing of you differently, but I dont know you. Its like accusing someone who says they follow rules and then they break the speed limit over 5 mph and you label them reckless when you know a lot of people go a little over now and then and dont make a career of it. Your grandma can is she of terrible morals if it happens once? No.
Your morals for cheating on him fiance doesn't win you any loyalty awards. However if you have character enough to reflect that I think is the bigger picture and lesson. There are many shades of gray for you, its not black and white with you, only with him and what he did.
If you were trying to contact him and pop over and see him etc. Obviously you seem like you wants something possibly of a commitment in the future maybe out of him. Because of the times y

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Because of the times youve been together already. You can't hear what he's not saying or be up on being selfish to decode his actions. Its not your fault.
He's just a jerk agreed but otherwise I don't think one should be judged so heavily for acting passionately within certain boundaries. Unless under being locked into vows with someone and other sacred unions, situations where so much is at stake.
If someone really cares about someone and by one action seems off, they should question it rather then label it. That means then they matter. They will ask why you do certain things or actions. Rather then being closeminded and labeling you and shut you out. You don't need someone who doesn't try and put themselves in your position to understand you and that quick to abandon you. Him, he took what he could and ran.
He's a jerk, a big lesson for you.

"Rather then being closeminded and labeling you and shut you out. You don't need someone who doesn't try and put themselves in your position to understand you and that quick to abandon you."

Absolutely agree with this capricorn31 .. she said, "In a way I was interested and I was having difficulties with my fiance of a few weeks."

If a person could so easily abandon another, their fiance, just over a couple weeks of difficulty .. no attempt to understand him, which is used as justification to have interest in another person so quickly ..

This Virgo man did no different to you, Spicy, than what you did to your fiance .. it's doubtful to me that the fiance was even being difficult, since it's quite apparent that you clearly didn't love him, yet, allowed yourself to become engaged ..

Are you a Cancer?

Spicy, YOU sent mixed messages out to both men .. all over the board. Just imagine how the ex fiance must feel .. he must have loved you if he proposed marriage to you, and probably felt pride for your self-respect that you would wait until marriage to have sex ... he probably even bragged about your integrity .. he found a real lady ..

then you go and FUCK another man ..

A person has to where the label they own.

Well, my fiance and I have a long distance relationship. One major issue we were having was relocation and the way we wanted to live our life. Prior to having sex with VIRGO, I had not been touched in almost 2 years. My fiance is super religious and in order to avoid any temptations we do not engage in any form oe sexual intimacy. Im not use to that. My last long term relationship prior to him lasted 3 years and he had a very healthy sex life. Then I was single and abstaining and met and fell in love with him. I love the fact that he was religious, but as a woman sometimes we do like to be touched and I missed the way my ex made me feel. I hadnt seen my ex fiance in a few months and I was starting to complain about being lonely. That was another of our issues. I didnt mean to fall for the other guy, but it felt good being held. It felt good having someone kiss me. I know I was wrong for it, but in a way my body responded to naturally. Imagine loving someone and not being able to be intimate with them. Then even whn you have the urge you cannot even take care of yourself becuase he makes you feel dirty for doing it. That is why I said we had issues, but i did not disclose this to VIRGo. But my ex and I went back and forth severaal times as to if we should even continue. I was very unhappy, but I was willing to stay and get married for my famiy and his. The VIRGo made me realize that I was not happy. For the fist time since we were together I allowed myself to meet someone else. For the first time in my relationship I allowed myself to open up. MAybe I wanted him to give me a reason to end it. I dont know. But anyways he has been texting me and he has called a few times. I havent responded because I know I need to get over him. It is hard because I am hurting. We all make mistakes, and I have learned from mines. I plan on being singel for a long time and now I am unsure about marriage.

I am a LEO

Bottom line: this was just a bad situation (you Spicy being engaged to someone you weren't happy with & isn't right for you), that ended badly (the Virgo guy doesn't have the same feelings or want the same things).

Whether he's with someone else or not, he doesn't seem to want a relationship with you. Rather than worry about what's going on with the Virgo, I would just cut ties and move on. Chalk it up to a lesson learned.

I agree with Starfish, "always close one door before opening another one."

it's a good thing that yor realized that it would have been a mistake to married a guy who obviously had issues.

You watch Jerry Springer?