I've been Virgoed!!!

This topic was created in the Virgo forum by TaurusRules on Wednesday, October 5, 2005 and has 27 replies.
'Okay, are you folks ready for a long post? Let me start this off by saying I NEED HELP!! Here's my story:
I'm a 22 year old Taurus female. My first and most painful love relationship was with a Gemini. For some reason I seem to swoon over them. After that 2.5 year long relationship ended (very painfully, might I add), I had a difficult time getting back on the meet market. I was in college, and had lost all of my friends to this guy, as we had gone through high school together. My next best option was to spend time with my younger sister's friends who were all still in high school. Hey, it was the best I could do.
So it was New Year's 2002/03 and I went to a silly little party with my sister and her underage friends. It was incredibly lame, so I went into a room upstairs with a select few of the kids who were pretty cool and we all started drinking and having fun. In comes an old childhood friend (my age) and his buddy Travis. I had seen Travis around school, but I didn't know him. He was *incredibly* quiet and reserved, so I didn't pay much attention to him. The next day, a couple of the girls invited me to hang out with them at a buddy's house and play pool. Travis just happened to be there again. I still didn't pay him any attention, I guess I was stuck in my own head and kinda depressed about my breakup. One of the girls I was there with had told me how she was in love with Travis, and made it sound as though they were dating. Well, at this get-together, he ignored her and approached me. I thought, oh great I don't want to get stuck in the middle of this... I'm not the type to involve myself in drama. But he kept talking to me, no matter how many hints I gave him that I wasn't interested. Later that evening, he asked me if I could give him a ride home and I didn't want to be mean so I said yes... even though I was thinking "Who is this freak and why can't he get a hint??" Well, much to my surprise, this Virgo guy completely won my heart in the car that night... we sat in his driveway in my car and what started off as a small conversation turned into 8 hours of talking... in a car!! I left his place that morning knowing that he was my soul mate.
Well, things never really got off the ground, mostly because I avoided him. I wasn't ready to date again. So, between now and that conversation 2.5 years ago, he and I only spoke a total of about 5 times, and maybe saw each other twice again... but I ALWAYS kept him in the back of my mind as 'The One'.
Fast forward to about 6 weeks ago... I was looking for some fun and decided to call him on a Friday night. I hadn't spoken with him in over a year. He was extremely excited to hear from me and I met him at a bar. We totally hit it off and it turns out he'd been thinking about me since that night in the car, too. It was so amazing how, when we were together that night, time seemed to stand still and the past 2.5 years we'd spent apart disappeared. One thing led to another (booze seemed to help), and I ended up at his place. I don't need to tell you what happened next... but it was the most amazing night of my life. Since then, we've spent every spare second of our time together... I guess a problem would be that I don't have much spare time. I work and go to college full time.
In the course of these past 6 weeks, things have quickly gone downhill - he started testing me, taking me to parties with heavy drugs (I'm a pretty clean girl), talking about other girls he'd been with, etc. He wasn't necessarily mean, but he would say certain off-the-wall comments and I knew it was his way of feeling me out and getting a reaction out of me. I caught onto it and told him that he didn't need to do that. I told him I'm a straight shooter and if he wants to know something about me, he's more than welcome to ask. I'll be 100% honest with him.
Things didn't get better - in fact, he started testing me more, twist
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Why would you want someone like that? Is he that good? Not judging, i know it's possible that's the reason.
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Here's been my experience with Virgo men.. and I've known and dated a few:
I've noticed that they like to pump the breaks when things are moving too fast- especially in a big decision like love. In my experiences- a virgo is a slow burn- and you have to take lots of time (months to years of quality time) getting to know this person, before he can get really comfortable with you.... and you to somewhat understand him.
Go with your gut on this, but I agree with your friends, give him space- let him have time to digest his feelings about you.
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I say become a NUN and end all of this silliness!
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Ah - OFA....fun is what you make it! Winking You oughta see my "habits!"
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"nun" that I can talk about! LOL
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LOL..yeah,I think I would like to be that kind of "nun", Freebird.
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I sure do feel for you. That's the same thing my Virgo Ex did to me. I'd have no clue we had a fight - at least nothing big, and all of the sudden he'd dissapear for a while. I would drive myself nuts thinking I did something wrong..! In my experience... if he doesn't want to be in touch, there's nothing you can do. As soon as he's good-N-ready, he'll contact you. If thats what he happens to decide. Mine usually decided that after he'd had some beers one night..... It totally SUCKS that they act this way instead of having the maturity to either talk things over, or give us a clue that they want to "break-up" or whatever. Totally unfair, but they don't seem to really be concerned with being fair.
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'I have an update!
All right, so to shed some more light on this topic, I'll add details. Last Wednesday evening I was able to drop by his house on my way home from class. This was nice, because I'm usually so busy during the week that we can only see each other on the weekends. He was acting strange and things had become so tense between us from all of the tests he was running me through, that I told him I didn't feel comfortable and I wanted to leave. This is where I don't understand all of the astrologers who say Virgo/Taurus is 'love at first sight'. True, we felt that way, but I feel like we're not very compatible. The more he tests me, the further I retreat into my shell. I cannot stand feeling uncomfortable around someone, and he really shakes my foundations. So I told him nicely that I was tired and had work the next day, and I should get home and get to bed. We both knew something was up, but we didn't know what, so we said bye without discussing things. I think we're both very confused about this all. Later that evening, he sent me a text message that said, "What the hell was that?" I wasn't quite sure myself, so I didn't respond and I went to bed. I also didn't talk to him the next day, Thursday. I ignored his calls for most of Friday, too, but finally decided to talk to him and I went over to his place that night.
This is where things really started to sour - I think he was paying me back for not having spoken with him for two days, and he was a MAJOR ASSHOLE. I couldn't believe the things that came out of his mouth. But I understood that he was upset, and I have a bit of a sharp tongue myself, so I dished it right back at him... big mistake, as I'm finding out. I always assumed that if a Virgo didn't like something I had to say, he would tell me. Turns out he'll take it for a while, let it build, and then get pissed off about it later without letting me know what the problem is. So while we never actually argued, we were sparring all night. I thought that was the extent of it.
Saturday when I woke up, he said he needed to leave for a few minutes to get to the bank before it closed. This was another of his tests, because he ended up staying out for well over an hour. He wanted to see how long I would wait for him, I guess. When he got back, he asked if I would wait for him again. I said, "What? You were just out!" He said, "Yeah, now I need to run some errands, will you wait?" I said, "Hell no. If you leave, I'm going home. This is ridiculous." Then he got angry at me and said, "Fine, I guess we'll just sit around here and do nothing then." I said, "That's not what I suggested. But I don't understand why you keep asking me to just sit here and wait for you. I have things I need to be doing, too."
I was annoyed, and tired of his crap. So I finally told him I wanted to leave. Things were awkward again, and he called me later that evening to ask me over to his place again. This time I said no, and explained that I didn't want to spend another night arguing with him, only to leave pissed off the next day. He seemed disappointed, and started acting strange and being rude to me. He never tells me when he's upset, rather he acts like a child and spouts off strange questions and phrases.
So the next day, Sunday, he didn't contact me. Same thing goes for Monday and Tuesday. Tuesday evening was when I sent him a text message and told him I was sorry if I said anything over the weekend to make him think I didn't care about him. He didn't respond. He finally called late last night. I was surprised, because I'd given up on him. Last night he was the biggest jerk on the phone - when I picked up, he said, "Hey, I just got out of jail." I was shocked and then I realized he was screwing around with me once again and I called him out on it. He said, "Okay, you've figured me out. I wasn't in jail. Why are you so mean to me?" I was kinda shoc
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I'm with Mr. Crabby on this one.. why do you want this?
You said: I'm not sure what to do. I don't know why I'm dealing with him anymore, other than the fact that I'm interested in figuring him out and I think I'm also holding onto an old image of him in my mind.
If you're interested just to figure him out- then what do you plan to do once you think you understand him-- is it over then? Don't get me wrong, understanding someone is good, but I don't think that should be the only basis for a relationship (maybe he doesn't think so either). Also, what if the things you find out ...is only more what you already suspect-- that you're not compatible?
I'm only asking because I think that once you answer those questions- it will be clear to you what you do next.
Also, I just wanted to toss this in: just because some astrologers say that Taurus and Virgo are compatible, doesn't mean that every Taurus is compatible with every Virgo... you are people with your own individual issues-- but I'm sure you already knew that.
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'To be honest, I really like this guy. I hate admitting it, because everyone is telling me I'm 'falling for the bad boy'. But I'm not. I hate the crap that he gets himself into - it doesn't attract me to him. I'm attracted to him because of the connection that we share when we're alone. We see eye-to-eye on everything it seems. I can't stop thinking about him. Everytime I see him, I get butterflies in my stomach, and I know he feels the same way. Oh well. I'm supposed to talk to him tonight, I guess I'll see how that goes. I just don't know how to go about it all, because I'm worried that he'll only want to discuss his side of things and my feelings will never be addressed. I can get kinda pushy when it comes to voicing my opinions, and this is the first virgo guy I've dealt with so I'm worried that I may only make things worse. What is the best way to talk to him and let him know that I've been hurt, too, without making him feel like he's being attacked??'
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Why do you feel that if you're open about how you feel, he'll feel like he's being attacked?
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Because every time I've told him that I don't like the way he's treating me, he thinks I'm being mean to him.
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Lol....
You guys need Qbonology..!.
smile
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Scorpio on board - Next to Taurus, maybe Virgos best match. WIth the one I know - yes it's been years - we connect - at first too fast for him at least. Someone said about pumping the brakes that sounds about right. It's the analyzing about what they want - what you want, will they or won't they. Will I get left, does she really love me, no she doesn't, yes she does. What did she mean when she said this, or that. Maybe not, maybe so..... I care about her, but I don't love her not like that, I just want to be friends..... the list goes on and on.
Somehow you have to step back - after such a roller coaster ride - and just allow them to work it out.
I have known one for eight years now - been seeing him for almost four.
Taurus/Virgo - Can be good if the Taurus does not end up trying to control the Virgo or being bossy. That a Virgo won't put up with. I have read the pros and cons of this combination - some good, some not so good. One thing about Virgo - he likes someone different from him. They sometimes go after the fiery ones - Leo, Aries, only to be burned to a crisp. The Air signs will be too flighty and "airy" for the down to earth Virgo - he'll wonder how they will make it in life. With Taurus or Capricorn there will be a fine meeting of the minds, but no excitement in the end - as they are too much alike. With Water signs, Pisces and Scorpio it may work out well, if the Water Babies, don't get too turbulent for MR. Stoic Virgo. Water will moisten the Earth - too much water will creat mud. So it's a toss up with Mr. Virgo. He'll somehow take his time and figure it all out in the end, if the fair lady of his choice hasn't moved on.
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Glee, thank you so much for your message. I had mentioned that he was supposed to call me last night so that we could talk... sure enough, he never did. *sigh* We are very much alike, and I don't get the feeling that he is attracted to fiery women. His mother is an alcoholic, so he tends to shut out loud females. He's always said how he likes me because I have my 'shit together'. And I don't think we're all that alike in personality, just in values. So usually when we get together, we have a lot of fun.
I'm so hurt because he didn't call last night. I can't imagine how such an intelligent sign is unable to understand the simple concept of how much damage he's causing by 'taking his time'. Does he expect me to wait for him without knowing what the deal is, and then be there for him if/when he decides he wants me again? I'm not at his disposal. This is ridiculous, and it's making me angry. I'm not sure if he wants me to call him and chase after him - I feel like he might because he's always asking me how I feel about him, so this may be a test to see if I want him. Or maybe he's done with me... but nothing huge happened that would warrant suddenly not speaking to me anymore. Or maybe you're all right and he's just taking time. That makes no sense! I certainly won't chase after him, and I can't apologize for anything that I haven't done wrong.
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I'm so hurt because he didn't call last night.
OK - First off, he is going to have some issues here. It's going to be the mother. He has not gotten over that. Virgos tend to hold on to things that have happened in their lives. Especially if it has caused some type of trauma for them. No matter if it is childhood or bad relationships or marriages. It will haunt them.
DOn't be put off because he said he was going to call you. It wasn't personal, so don't take it as such. He just got busy or distracted by something else going on.
You must have an almost instinctive knowledge of this man and yes he expects you to understand how he is. And it's not all pretty. LOL.
My take on Virgo is this. No they don't have to marry or even be in the type of "normal" relationship that most people desire. Mr. Virgo is a realist. He knows his expectations and his limitation. He wants to appear perfect - however, we know he's not. And he knows he's not. Don't make too many scenes with him - he hates the drama. He's pretty self-suffient and doesn't mind living alone for many years before he makes a choice. He likes women and will have some as friends and you should understand that. Most Virgos do end up single all of their lives.
His emotions are somewhat subdued, as he doesn't get what all the fuss and bother is all about. If there are any emotions he may have some Water in his chart. He will push you aways at times, but it is only to go and analyze what he's feelings are at times. I sometimes think one must have a strong stomach to deal with a Virgo male. Don't expect him to take your side if you feel you have been wronged. He'll just tell you what you did wrong - LOL.
With another Earth sign he feels good, but will always wonder what he's missing. Because of the stability of the EARTH. But he will not want to be bored and that is what happens sometimes with EARTH & EARTH. The same with WATER & WATER - Too much emotional turmoil. Or AIR & AIR. I think the though pattern are the same, but maybe the compatibiliy is off beat. I often have believed that signs needs their polar opposites - Since I am Scorpio, I do well with Taurus. Virgo sometimes does well with Pisces.
WHen I read Jane Goodmans book about Love Signs - which is pretty good. I think Scorpio and Virgo were 3-7 - it read so good. We seem to bring to each other what the other one is lacking.
But if you decide to stay in it - keep in mind - it's not going to happen over night. Just eat your Wheaties.
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Thanks again, Glee. I agree with some of what you're saying, and it makes me feel better to hear that you think this may be temporary.
I like scorpios. My last relationship (2.5 years) was with a Scorpio, but things were TOO GOOD. I got extremely bored and there was absolutely NO sexual magnetism between us. The sex went stale, and we'd sleep together maybe a couple of times every month. I couldn't handle it. He was too nice of a guy. He's definitely someone I could see myself with in the long run, he completely understands me, and he lets me do whatever I need to in order to feel satisfied. So we never fought. At first, after I'd had my heart broken by a highly dramatic Gemini relationship, this guy seemed to be heaven sent. But things got too comfortable and I got bored.
This virgo seemed to be everything I wanted/needed. From your experience, do you think I should contact him? I never would've guessed that he'd push me away. He did seem Wednesday when he called a little disappointed that I hadn't called him. In the 4 days we didn't speak, I ran through our short 6 weeks together to analyze and see if maybe I'd done something wrong. All I could guess is that maybe I was too critical of him, so I sent him a message that said, "I think I may have said something recently that led you to believe that I don't care about you. I do. You don't deserve the way I've been treating you." So I'm not sure if he wants space, or if he wants me to chase him? What do you think?
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Sorry you were bored with us Scorpios... LOL. But he could have been the love of your life. We just affect people that way I guess.
Your Virgo is going to prove to be alot for you to handle. How do I know? Because already you are uncertain about him and will continue to be for a long time, that is if you stay.
Don't contact him - he'll do it if it is what he wants to do. I am afraid that I can't tell you what to do - however, it's been my experience - with the Virgo I see.... that give them time and space to sort things out. And he will continue to push you away from time to time. It's just him and his wayward thoughts - he doesn't think he's doing anything wrong - other than being himself. Either you will accept it or you won't. It's not going to get better - I can tell you that. It will for a while then he'll go off again.
And Virgos can be a bit boring at times also - lol. Mine is. But at this stage in my life - I would take boring over too much excitement anytime.
You are coming here to find the answers - but in all honesty, only you will be able to find your peace of mind with this. I don't think we can give you answers. Only opinions. What you are going to say to this man - he may get it, he may not. I have known some Taurus/Virgo match to end. Simply because of the Virgo holding back too much. Or playing that mindless "I don't know what I want" thing.
It's up to you - to decide if you can deal with it. I have been for eight years now. And believe me - it's as good as it gets at this time. But I never know even after all this time, know what he's going to do from one moment to the next. You willl get to a point where you will just sit back and watch and wonder.
They are nice people - really sweet. But sometimes.......
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You?ve been zapped.. not Virgoed..!
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Once a virgo hurt ,u don't talk to them they tend to forget u,drop u like a bad egg,and let u stay there.
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Great, do you really think so? He hasn't spoken to me in over a week. This is so odd. Talk about a whirlwind romance.
How in the hell does a guy go from telling you that you're everything he's ever wanted to treating you as though you don't exist? Can somebody explain that one to me??
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Talk about a whirlwind romance.
Yea, they don't usually last either.
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Virgo here,
Ok there are two ays you can take this, I am a female virgo and I tend to drop people like a bad habit. If we are totally done with you we will tell you. We don't like gaqmes and ther is no need to beat around the bush. But on the other hand, we can be just really pissed at you and not speak to you for months or even years, but eventually we might apologize if you are important in our life. Yeah I know it sounds harsh, but that's just the way we are.
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mssxyvirgo,
Thank you very much for your input - I've been waiting for a virgo to help me out. My best girlfriend is married to a virgo male... I talked to her about the situation the other night and she said the same thing you did - if a virgo is done with you, they'll let you know.
That's why this is so confusing. Nothing happened between us, he just stopped talking to me. Can you explain to my why you virgos disappear for days or weeks at a time? My gut feeling is that he'll never talk to me again, but then another part of me remembers how extreme our connection was... I can't imagine why he would drop me. Maybe it was so strong that it scared him?
Another thing I'm wondering - when you virgos do like someone, and you distance yourself from them to take time to think, do you 'cheat' on that person? He has several female friends, and I'm wondering if maybe he's spending all of his time with one of them now?
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...let's see how do I explain this...
if we are really into you adn we feel a depp connection, then for sure we won't cheat even if we stray for a while, I used to be a hellafied playa until i met my mr. aquarius, I don't know why but when we feel that deep connection we just feel it and we'll try to hold on to it, you just have to give him sometime, and if he really respects you for you then you'll know it, now on the other hand, I've dated a male virgo before and they tend to be a little lop-sided in the mind, they have alot of female friends, that's just something you have to learn to deal with, but believe me they will make it known when they are ready...
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TaurusRule- He'll be back around in his time. Nothing to be done about it. He just needs his space. Maybe he felt he was getting too close for some reason. Who knows? WHy fret over it?
Go on with your life and when you least expect it - he'll call or something. I do believe you'll have to lower your expectations with him. Virgos are NOT players, I've seen players and well, Virgo is too insecure to play those love games. I think they like to think they are. But when I think of players Leos & Libras come to mind. They are the best players I've ever seen. Astrologically speaking anyway.
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