Libra Woman/Virgo Man...the distance is killing me?!

This topic was created in the Virgo forum by JustWant2bLoved on Sunday, October 18, 2015 and has 30 replies.
Hi All, I’m hoping you can help me. I met this Virgo guy about 2 months ago (I’m a Libra, both in our 30s). We hit it off instantly and started hanging out, and it got pretty intense really fast. He spoke about marriage and having children and just how he was totally ready to settle down. Not saying with me exactly, but just that I had the qualities he was looking for. So one night we have this magical evening, just laughing, joking, talking and having unbelievable sex. Nothing went wrong, everything seemed perfect. He confirmed that we’re in a relationship and I was elated. The very next day he started acting really distant and cold. Not texting as much, not making any plans to see me, not calling me. I kept reaching out just trying to talk, and he would reply HOURS later, with short replies. After 7 days of this I sent a text, letting him know how serious I was about us (just as he said he was) and that I really like our connection and like him and hopes he feels the same. He wrote back that he feels the same. We live about 2 hours away from each other so seeing each other is very hard, because of work. So I rely on texting and phone calls to keep it going. Yes we speak everyday via text but it’s nothing substantial, just good morning, how are you, goodnight. Whereas before we were having conversations and he totally seemed interested in me. I finally got fed up after 10 days of this, and told him that I will give him space since he seems so distant and cold towards me. I told him I wasn’t angry or anything but I’ll just give him space. He wrote back that he doesn’t need space and that he “enjoys†me. But he didn’t like the fact that I’m quick to bounce. I told him I’m not bouncing but just giving him some space, because I feel like I’m annoying him, trying to text and call someone who doesn’t seem responsive. He says he's just been busy with work...but that's not true because he does the same thing on the weekends. Do you think I’m wasting my time? I really like this guy, but it’s really hurtful to go from him being so into me, to me literally just trying to make conversation with him. Why does he keep texting at all if he isn’t interested? Should I save myself the heartache or stick it through? Is he just keeping me hanging on a string? As a Libra, I usually stay really surface with people, never letting anyone in to see the real me, until I know they’re really serious about me. But I want to let him in, and I’m a good person, very caring and loving, but this is truly hurting my feelings.

P.S. I just went through a similar thing with a Capricorn. When I finally got the courage to dump him after 7 months of him treating me like I meant nothing to him, he’s literally begging for me to come back. But why not just show you care from the start? Are Virgos the same way?
Him:
Rising - Sagittarius
Sun - Virgo
Moon - Scorpio
Mercury - Libra
Venus - Virgo
Mars - Sagittarius
Jupiter - Scorpio
Saturn - Libra
Uranus - Sagittarius
Neptune - Sagittarius
Pluto - Libra

Me:
Rising - Sagittarius
Sun - Libra
Moon - Pisces
Mercury - Libra
Venus - Virgo
Mars - Sagittarius
Jupiter - Scorpio
Saturn - Libra
Uranus - Sagittarius
Neptune - Sagittarius
Pluto - Libra
This is so compatible its sickening..
Its unfortunate the advancements in technology such as cell.phones have made relationships sooo... caca
@Weeds I know right! We have SO much in common...but I think that Virgo sun is really throwing everything off :/ We like literally the same things, food, music, tv, books, etc. Couldn't be better, until this distance thing showed up.
I'm getting similar convos with my guy and their placements aren't the same, but similar energies. We've been together for almost 6 months and he's been gone since Sept 2nd for work out of town. I get the same amount of communication from him on his off days as I do on his work days. He was the same with text/phone communication while here, but we saw each other a lot and of course, he's more interactive in person. I think maybe the Scorp/Virgo/Libra energy in combo leads to either out of sight, out of mind or that they just don't do very well if you're not face to face. Every time I've mentioned putting any kind of emotional distance between us, my guy has become frustrated or sad. That's not what he wants and I think he has a hard time expressing what he wants in written or spoken words. He's more of an action/sensory person.
@dontgetmewrong Well we used to make plans to see each other about once a week. He always came to me. But now, it's like he's not interested in seeing me or something. He claims, it's his work schedule, but I don't know...
@MsTeeq1974 I hope I make it to 6 months with this man! Yes in person, it's amazing. We talk, laugh, the works. He does that Virgo stare, and it just makes me melt. But he just seems so far away when we're not together. I'm not clingy, because of my Sag influence, but I get needy after SOME TIME, I guess because of the Pisces moon. He says if he wasn't interested anymore he would tell me and that I have the right to call and text him as much as I want. But no one wants to do that if the conversation is only one-sided. How do you act when he's low on communication? Do you say anything about it or just wait patiently?
@dontgetmewrong Hahaha...you're so right about that. I don't want to lose interest because he's so great. But I know I will if he keeps this up. And since we're so alike, that's why I'm thinking he's lost interest. Or could this be a test...I think earth signs test you on purpose. LOL, no pop-ups for me!
Finally from a librs - welcome to the club lol
My Bitter Catlady Cancer alarm is going off
@Leona What's your story? Do tell...

@kalin Ok this may sound weird...but honestly I don't know how to treat someone like crap. I usually just politely ignore people...until they catch the hint. Please give 'treating him like crap' pointers, lol...no but seriously...

@weeds What are picking up...I'm so in the dark? Do you know how frustrating it is to be a very intelligent person but completely feeling like an idiot when a guys acts like this.
@kalin I would love a Leo but they usually like drop dead gorgeous girls and alas that's not me. I have a shining personality though :-)
Posted by Weeds
This is so compatible its sickening..
Its unfortunate the advancements in technology such as cell.phones have made relationships sooo... caca

agree i blame it on technology!
Posted by JustWant2bLoved
Him:
Rising - Sagittarius
Sun - Virgo
Moon - Scorpio
Mercury - Libra
Venus - Virgo
Mars - Sagittarius
Jupiter - Scorpio
Saturn - Libra
Uranus - Sagittarius
Neptune - Sagittarius
Pluto - Libra

Me:
Rising - Sagittarius
Sun - Libra
Moon - Pisces
Mercury - Libra
Venus - Virgo
Mars - Sagittarius
Jupiter - Scorpio
Saturn - Libra
Uranus - Sagittarius
Neptune - Sagittarius
Pluto - Libra


how do you find out all these?
You should read my threads ... its nothing different from yours.. probably even worse :/ and yeah you should definitely find a leo or aries cause libra girls do great with leo guys. Too much attraction.
Posted by leona
You should read my threads ... its nothing different from yours.. probably even worse :/ and yeah you should definitely find a leo or aries cause libra girls do great with leo guys. Too much attraction.

alot of leo suns have libra venus. so yeah libra sun ladies with leos or aquarius in them.
Well everyone is beautiful so dont underestimate yourself... and i dont know if u haveever dated a leo guy but they are usually fun loving and generous and the amounts of attention u want they will give it to u. They ll flatter you and love you for who u are. U just have to be confident with them and secondly i havent come across any leo who prefers beauty over brajns.. if youre talkative and can keep him around trust me he ll be thrilled ...
Yeah sags are love.. i wish i had a sag guy in my life.. bt unfortunately its mostly all the sag girls haha and yeh i agree libra and sav do well too. A sag frend of mine is married to one they have twins and i love this family. No politics no drama nothin.. just love and friendshipppp
I dont see anything wrong here that vant be fixed with a sit down talk and express your needs.... I rarely see this type of compatibility around here.. it be a shame to throw it away.. relationships are not always rays of sunshine y'kno gotta.have some rainy days
Leos are ok... till they don't get enough sleep or get irritated... then anythin sets them off and they break your shit..
No i dont think he has a gf... he confirmed their relationship so how can he disappear on her and find another.. its a virgo nature ..they dont communicate much. U cant believe that in the pasr two yrs with my virgo its mostly me who has alway initiated apart from occasional bday/new yrs /valentines calls. They are by nature v aloof and v self absorbed ..the more u demand attention the more he ll run away .. you just need to relax and chill if you can put upwith this hot and cold attitude of his otherwise if ure an emotional and demandin then its time you leave cause even if you dragged cause it sounds all rosy u ll repent later. He ll emotionally drain you out and wont ever change so the ball is in your court now. You cant have him all to urself without breakin a sweat and its not worth ur efforts so be wise..
@fkpkr You can look at your chart here: http://alabe.com/freechart/

@weeds and @ dontgetmewrong Yeah we have so much compatibility that it's hard to walk away. I tried bringing this issue up but I feel like I'm nagging him sometimes. Ugh!

@kalin He claims to not like a woman with an attitude, that he likes a nice tranquil life with a woman, which is the way I am. But maybe his Scorpio Moon secretly wants some drama.

@leona I'm going to check out your thread. Hopefully I'll get some pointers.

I love Sags and Leos by the way, well the women at least, don't know many of the guys.

One would think I can handle Virgos because my mom is one. And for my entire life, her silent treatments kill me. It's truly like the worst punishment for a Libra...all we want is to be happy and have everyone around us happy, so the silent treatment makes me feel like crap. My mom used it to manipulate me when I was growing up. I was always apologizing, when I truly did nothing wrong. But I just wanted her to be happy again, so I did what I had to do. The difference was, my charm always worked with my mom because she will always be in my life. Dating a Virgo just leaves you wondering WTH is happening and is he leaving...

@BlackMamba You know I thought too, maybe he has a gf, but he would go out of his way to say I was the only woman in his life. I never mentioned a relationship, I was actually quite fine with being friends/dating for some time, but he wanted to commit right away. And even before we made it official, he put some hickies on me (yes, totally like we were 14 again)...my friend thinks that was him "marking his territory" because he knows I'm a social Libra (which he hates btw).

My instinct tells me that he likes me but is just scared to open up. Or maybe that's what my heart wants to believe. Maybe I'll ignore him and see what he does...ugh, but I don't want to lose him. I'm truly a mess right now!

Hugs OP. I've been through this myself with a Virgo. Almost exact same, except we had no real distance between us. Started out all hot and heavy over text/phone, was exclusive within the first month, and then BAM, started acting weird. I dismissed it, ignored it, made excuses for it because I felt like we were perfect for each other an was so confused on the change. I wasn't clingy or emotional over it, just genuinely confused. He eventually ended things with me because he had issues to work out with work, family, etc. Devastated me because I so believed we were perfect for each other. I need answers as to why and found out that this was something he did to everyone. In hindsight, I know he was trying to subtly push me away.

Not saying this is your situation, but you should definitely figure out if this is how you want to continue to feel this way with someone you're in a relationship with. Personally, I never want to go through that type of thing again. The beginning of something good should not be that hard and leave you this confused. But if you've been emotionally manipulated your whole life, I can understand why this is a pattern for you. You can be the only one to break that cycle.
@thisismylife2015 I'm so sorry that happened to you girlie. You seem like a really sweet person. Thanks for the advice, exactly what happened to you is my fear. I open up and BAM he's gone. It's like he's inching away, but then he texted me goodnight tonight. I don't know why you would even stay in touch if you're not interested.

@BlackMamba Bwahahaha...yes I used to be ok with her silent treatments for a day, but couldn't stand it after that, lol. Ok I'm gonna stop doing the work and see what he does. I didn't reply to his goodnight text and I think I'll ignore his good morning text as well. I mean at the end of the day, I need more than that.

@dontgetmewrong We both were raised by queen manipulators...but that's my mom. Won't stand for it from my man, lol.

Thanks for the help everyone. I'll keep you posted.

I wish a Virguy would reply to...I would love to hear a guys perspective.
@leona @dontgetmewrong @magma @BlackMamaba @weeds @kalin
Well peeps, my Virguy is back, after 10 days! I think it's definitely more of a case of hot/cold vs. disappearing. He never fully disappears, he just isn't very talkative, kinda goes cold. He just came back so strong, texting me all day, full of kissy faces, making plans to see me. Obviously, I love all of the hot attention. He's so sweet and loving when he's "on." Now the question is how long before he goes cold again...am I really going to be able to handle it again. The next time could be worse, because my feelings will get stronger. Agh, what is a girl to do.

Thank you all for your help. It definitely got me through the rough weekend. *kisses to you all*
Be careful and be wise!
This is my first relationship w a Virgo I must say my first confusing relationship the hot n cold stuff the one minute distant one minute back to normal self he sometimes get quiet wouldn't speak for a long period of time then sometimes he just want to talk it's very stressful I'm a Gemini but I'm so into him we have been dating almost five months

One thing I notice when we first started going out the chemistry was so intense we couldn't get enough of each other couldn't wait to text/talk couldn't wait to see each other n hang out now it's a lil bit different we still hang out but not as much we do text but it's here n there the sex is great but when we are not together he seems so distant I remember when we first started dating on his lunch break we would text laugh at jokes etc now I never really hear from him on his lunch breaks like we use to it's just so different n to me it's so early on into our relationship for this change

He told me he love me I definitely love him but it's hard getting use to Virgo personality I don't feel like he's romantic I love romance one time he told me I look beautiful n I'm sorry I'm a very attractive lady no beauty queen but I'm not unattractive

I told him the other day I said things has changed so much blah blah blah then he said this to me I will post some the things he say but to me action speaks louder than words this is what he said to me below please read!!!


1....I'm sorry baby I don't want you to feel that way. There is nothing wrong I love you so much and I don't want anyone but you. Things always change but my feeling for you won't I'm sorry if I'm any way I put dought in you about how I feel

2...
I'm sorry your feeling this way I don't want you to. I still have the same strong feeling for you as the day we started talking no that's wrong they are much stronger not. I love you with all my heart. I want us to be very happy together I want you to feel secure I'm not trying to pull away I'm just as much all in on our relationship

3.....You make me happy when we're together and I'm sad when we're separate. I don't want to loose you I want us to be together. I love you so much and I want us to be happy



4..I need to do a better job of doing the little things your right even me being busy at work or with Lola I can still say good morning and good night. I need to be more attentive to there things if I'm puting Lola to bed I should,just say goodnight in case I fall asleep.

I am sorry you didn't get any sleep I hope your day goes by quickly so you can get rest. I don't have Lola tonight witch I didn't remember till Lola told me this morning.
I love you and miss you



5....
I can't ignore how your feeling I am very sorry . I do want to be around you all the time I miss you all the time I love you so much . you made my day today coming to see me at work and bringing me lunch. I can't wait till I can see you next and hold you close
Posted by magma
If you hang out on DXP long enough you'll find that the disappearing thing is pretty much universal, especially among men, and you'll see similar complaints on the other Sun sign forums. But yes, some Virgos do it and that's probably the number one complaint on this forum. In my day, the old days, guys would put on an Oscar winning performance to get in a girl's pants and then split. A few actually wanted relationship, I was one of them, and I never disappeared for even one day on my partner and we've been together for 46 years.

Time will tell, and I think the best way to find out as soon as possible is to make damn sure that when it's his turn to reciprocate, you resist the temptation to take up the slack. We all make time and effort for whatever is most important to us unless someone else does all the work for us.





True
Posted by JustWant2bLoved
@leona @dontgetmewrong @magma @BlackMamaba @weeds @kalin
Well peeps, my Virguy is back, after 10 days! I think it's definitely more of a case of hot/cold vs. disappearing. He never fully disappears, he just isn't very talkative, kinda goes cold. He just came back so strong, texting me all day, full of kissy faces, making plans to see me. Obviously, I love all of the hot attention. He's so sweet and loving when he's "on." Now the question is how long before he goes cold again...am I really going to be able to handle it again. The next time could be worse, because my feelings will get stronger. Agh, what is a girl to do.

Thank you all for your help. It definitely got me through the rough weekend. *kisses to you all*


Been there... done that... it's USELESS -- Move on
He is not your happiness..

Still it's up to you to prolong the heartache
good luck.
Posted by Kim01
This is my first relationship w a Virgo I must say my first confusing relationship the hot n cold stuff the one minute distant one minute back to normal self he sometimes get quiet wouldn't speak for a long period of time then sometimes he just want to talk it's very stressful I'm a Gemini but I'm so into him we have been dating almost five months

One thing I notice when we first started going out the chemistry was so intense we couldn't get enough of each other couldn't wait to text/talk couldn't wait to see each other n hang out now it's a lil bit different we still hang out but not as much we do text but it's here n there the sex is great but when we are not together he seems so distant I remember when we first started dating on his lunch break we would text laugh at jokes etc now I never really hear from him on his lunch breaks like we use to it's just so different n to me it's so early on into our relationship for this change

He told me he love me I definitely love him but it's hard getting use to Virgo personality I don't feel like he's romantic I love romance one time he told me I look beautiful n I'm sorry I'm a very attractive lady no beauty queen but I'm not unattractive

I told him the other day I said things has changed so much blah blah blah then he said this to me I will post some the things he say but to me action speaks louder than words this is what he said to me below please read!!!


1....I'm sorry baby I don't want you to feel that way. There is nothing wrong I love you so much and I don't want anyone but you. Things always change but my feeling for you won't I'm sorry if I'm any way I put dought in you about how I feel

2...
I'm sorry your feeling this way I don't want you to. I still have the same strong feeling for you as the day we started talking no that's wrong they are much stronger not. I love you with all my heart. I want us to be very happy together I want you to feel secure I'm not trying to pull away I'm just as much all in on our relationship

3.....You make me happy when we're together and I'm sad when we're separate. I don't want to loose you I want us to be together. I love you so much and I want us to be happy



4..I need to do a better job of doing the little things your right even me being busy at work or with Lola I can still say good morning and good night. I need to be more attentive to there things if I'm puting Lola to bed I should,just say goodnight in case I fall asleep.

I am sorry you didn't get any sleep I hope your day goes by quickly so you can get rest. I don't have Lola tonight witch I didn't remember till Lola told me this morning.
I love you and miss you



5....
I can't ignore how your feeling I am very sorry . I do want to be around you a
@Kim01 OMG, is this what I have to look forward to. Listen, my fellow air sister, I feel your pain (I'm a Libra). We need CONSISTENT COMMUNICATION. Communication is the best foreplay I could ever receive. And my Virgo is so hard to read. He's so hot/cold, but never quite disappears (like I've read about other Virgos). We're going on 3 months so we're not in the love phase yet but I imagine it's going to be just like you described. When I try to mirror his coldness he can't handle it. Here's an example: Everything is totally fine between us. He called me out of the blue on Friday, and I was so happy. Saturday night I called him, he thinks I'm never home on the weekends (I don't know why but he thinks I'm a party girl...but I only go to the mall, Target and the grocery store, I don't do the clubs anymore) and we had a great conversation. He was very happy I called and was eager to talk. Now Sunday, I said "Good morning sweetheart, have a great Sunday" he wrote back "Good morning babe"...and that was it for the WHOLE day. Like I just don't get it. I kept myself busy of course, doing my own thing, but it sucks that the guy I like and want to hear from said nothing to me the whole day. That's cold to me and it really sucks. I'm not a needy person but a Virgo sure can make you doubt yourself. As a Libra, I'm usually told that I'm very surface and detached. But here I am with this guy, wanting to open up and give and he's kinda pushing me away. I know he doesn't mean to, but it's like wth?

But back to your guy, I think he's genuine and really loves you. My mom is a Virgo and she doesn't say things she doesn't mean. She will not say "I love you" if she doesn't mean it. I think that's why I'm hanging onto my Virgo guy, because I know that deep down, Virgos are the most loving and loyal people ever. They will never leave you and fight for you even when you won't. They always have your back, financially, emotionally, psyhcially, etc. Why he's holding back is truly beyond me, becuase when I like someone, I give 100% and I'm sure you're the same way. We're air signs, so we don't need to be up under someone 24/7...but keeping in touch via phone and text is what keeps us interested.

BTW, you're beautiful, and you deserve a guy that tells you sometimes. He doesn't have to flood you with compliments, but you're a woman, we need to know all of the effort we put into looking good is worth it!!