Mind Games?
This topic was created in the Virgo forum by Ebonyjade on Sunday, January 13, 2013 and has 4 replies.
Hello! So long story short, nearly two years ago I began to develop a crush on a (Virgo) manager at work (he doesn't have direct reports, he is more of a specialist, but saying that, I am his subordinate). The crush was very innocent for the first 8 or so months, he was an acquaintance and someone who I would admire from afar. I respected that he lived with his girlfriend and was in a serious relationship (as was I at the time). Then just over a year ago, we were at work drinks and it was like a switch, the intensity between the two of us all of a sudden increased. As corny as this may sound, it was like we were magnets drawn to each other. After that night, I would always find him close to me, going out of his way to be near me, talk to me, he would remember every little thing I would say, I'd catch him staring at me, etc. It wasn't over the top where (many) people would notice nor was it sleazy but the sexual tension and nervous energy was definitely apparent. He was also becoming shyer than usual around me. As a result, I found myself becoming quite anxious around him and I would end up avoiding him and even sometimes ignoring him. I'm a very confident person (Aries) but something about this man made me feel so insecure. I realise it wasn't anything he was doing on purpose but I just couldn't be normal around him anymore. Approx 6-7 months ago, he and his girlfriend break up. I'm single at this point too and we start to get closer, flirting a lot more but I am STILL being a p*ssy and not being able to relax around him. I was most definitely making things awkward. I forgot to include that just before he and hi gf broke up, I told him of my attraction for him and that was the reason why I act so strange. I wrote that to him through text but he never responded. A week later, they're spilt up and he is def making it a point to be closer to me. There are a lot more details I could include but the shortest version is end of September last year, something happened. I wouldn't call it a fight but was it was a misunderstanding which made me very angry at him. I didn't speak to him for weeks and it was very evident I was p*ssed. He kept trying to be close to me but I wouldn't have it. I ended up getting over it and softened up and before I went on xmas break, I gave him a xmas card saying I wanted to start fresh for 2013. I saw him for the first time last week and I did the idiot thing where I closed up and didn't even say hi properly.
I just freaked out when I saw him, I know..stupid right! So after much thinking I went into work the next day with a new attitude. He made it a point to sit as close to me as he possibly could like he had done the day before (our office is Activity based working - so free seating) but instead of acknowledging me, he talked around me the whole day to other people, never to me. If I was to say something, he would talk over the top of me or just ignore me. I was quite upset but I didn't let him see it. I tried to be normal, spoke to him one on one, he would respond but only the bare minimum. I caught him eyeballing me A LOT though. I still made it a point to say bye to him when I was going home. So I guess my question being WTH is going on? Does he like me? Is he playing mind games? If so, why? Is it from my own doing. I know what I've got to do from here on, but I like the guy so much, I'm not sure why he has such a weird effect on me. Thank you for reading! 
GeminilovesVirgo...the Virgo web..you got that right! But I really hope that what you say in regards to it being worth it is right. It's been a hectic ride so far, and my emotions have certainly been through the ringer a little but we'll see. Thank you for sharing your experience too. It's always comforting to know someone is going through something similar.
Virgoflirt..the 'spat'. Ok, so basically in the lead up to the actual night of the 'incident' he was sending me signals left, right and centre that he was interested. Even when someone would raise the fact that I had started seeing someone else in conversation, he would talk over them and change the subject. He just didn't want to know about it. So we went to the function but I noticed he wasn't talking to me as much. A lady from another department in our workplace showed up and his attention was focused on her, even though I knew he wasn't interested in her as it wa common knowledge she had a massive hting for him. She wasn't all over him but she was def showing her interest. Anyway, I had to leave early as I had another function to attend. I caught him staring at me so it gave me enough confidence to take the initiative. Now before I tell you what I did, please note I KNOW my mistake! I know what I did was dumb. H approached me and asked if I wanted a drink (he ws buying the next round), I said no but I'd go into the bar and help him. So he got the drinks and I told him to come back in after he finished distributing them as I needed to speak with him. He looked quite excited and I saw him coming back into the bar. I figured because there were work people everywhere I would walk off to the back of the bar so no one would see. What I didn't notice, there were work people there too. As I turned around, he had turned around and gone back outside. I was guttered. I walked back outside and he wouldn't look at me. I said goodbye to everyone holding back to tears and then left for my next party..in tears. I was just humiliated, hence why I refused to speak to him for weeks. I was also disappointed as despite him constantly sitting with me at work, talking to me, joining in all of my conversions (he's the kind of guy that if he's not interested in speaking to someone, he won't), he never apologised or explained himself. After about a month, I softened up as I realised being angry and b*tchy wouldn't get me anywhere. So slowly our relationship starte to mend and he was def reacting positively.
Virgoflirt..the 'spat'. Ok, so basically in the lead up to the actual night of the 'incident' he was sending me signals left, right and centre that he was interested. Even when someone would raise the fact that I had started seeing someone else in conversation, he would talk over them and change the subject. He just didn't want to know about it. So we went to the function but I noticed he wasn't talking to me as much. A lady from another department in our workplace showed up and his attention was focused on her, even though I knew he wasn't interested in her as it wa common knowledge she had a massive hting for him. She wasn't all over him but she was def showing her interest. Anyway, I had to leave early as I had another function to attend. I caught him staring at me so it gave me enough confidence to take the initiative. Now before I tell you what I did, please note I KNOW my mistake! I know what I did was dumb. H approached me and asked if I wanted a drink (he ws buying the next round), I said no but I'd go into the bar and help him. So he got the drinks and I told him to come back in after he finished distributing them as I needed to speak with him. He looked quite excited and I saw him coming back into the bar. I figured because there were work people everywhere I would walk off to the back of the bar so no one would see. What I didn't notice, there were work people there too. As I turned around, he had turned around and gone back outside. I was guttered. I walked back outside and he wouldn't look at me. I said goodbye to everyone holding back to tears and then left for my next party..in tears. I was just humiliated, hence why I refused to speak to him for weeks. I was also disappointed as despite him constantly sitting with me at work, talking to me, joining in all of my conversions (he's the kind of guy that if he's not interested in speaking to someone, he won't), he never apologised or explained himself. After about a month, I softened up as I realised being angry and b*tchy wouldn't get me anywhere. So slowly our relationship starte to mend and he was def reacting positively.
That's what encouraged me to give him the Christmas card stating how I would like to start fresh in 2013 and be friends again. So when he came back to the office mid last week I knew he reacted positvely as he sat with me but then I barely acknolwedged him. I know..stupid! I just wish he wouldn't play games as even though I know I haven't been innocent, I've explained to him I act strangely sometimes when I'm attracted someone. I've been quite upfront with him.
Uker83 - thank you for reminding me to have fun with it. I get so caught up in my emotions sometimes. But hte last thing I've been is clingy, if anyhting I've been the exact opposite. He said Good Morning to me today but he sat on the opposite side of the office. Was his little performance (purposely ignoring me last week despite sitting with me when there were plenty of other seats to sit at) just a little act to get my attention? Or was that his way of telling me he wasn't interested? So confusing!
Oh - and another thing. When I mentioned before that I had started seeing someone else, it was only a couple of dates, nothing serious. If that was the case, I would still not be obsessing over this Virg!
Thanks!
Uker83 - thank you for reminding me to have fun with it. I get so caught up in my emotions sometimes. But hte last thing I've been is clingy, if anyhting I've been the exact opposite. He said Good Morning to me today but he sat on the opposite side of the office. Was his little performance (purposely ignoring me last week despite sitting with me when there were plenty of other seats to sit at) just a little act to get my attention? Or was that his way of telling me he wasn't interested? So confusing!
Oh - and another thing. When I mentioned before that I had started seeing someone else, it was only a couple of dates, nothing serious. If that was the case, I would still not be obsessing over this Virg!
Thanks!
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