My Observation (Virgos on breakups)

This topic was created in the Virgo forum by cappysweetie on Wednesday, March 11, 2009 and has 30 replies.
I've seen and read about virgos breaking up with people without a care in the world. However ...
I wonder what happens when someone wants to breakup with the virgo, you know, when things are the other way around. In my experience, they do not take it well and try to keep the relationship going despite the fact that the relationship is going under.

Is it that the virgo likes to be the one to breakup with their partner or is it something else?
I noticed this with my Virgo boss too -- she was once talking about how she simply couldn't deal with her boyfriend breaking up with her BUT she could breakup with him.
I'm not sure if I understand this lol.
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I wonder what happens when someone wants to breakup with the virgo, you know, when things are the other way around.
Be my guest??_
Nothing happen (according to me) you are with me or you are NOT??_!
Simple as that??_!
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Virgos are not emotionalists...if you get that right you??ll never have any trouble with the Virgos.
Also.. to my Virgo mind..(things come and goes) when you thinking that way you??ll never have any feelings about anything.

Hope it helps..!
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Be my guest??_
You know, he says that crap but then changes as soon as I get serious ...

I just experienced this recently so I know. Not all virgos are the same but this one is on a cusp with a fiery Aires moon.

Its just too bad he and I can't reach common ground. That would be so nice.
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Also.. to my Virgo mind..(things come and goes) when you thinking that way you??ll never have any feelings about anything.
Well thats not good either Qbone. Having feelings is apart of being human smile Nothing wrong with that, the two people just have to be on the same page, thats all.
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You gain it, you loose it....who have time to think about why..?? like I said, things coming and goes..!
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Well thats not good either Qbone. Having feelings is apart of being human Nothing wrong with that, the two people just have to be on the same page, thats all.
48 years living in this world taught me that, you want to prove it otherwise..??
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Posted by Qbone
You gain it, you loose it....who have time to think about why..?? like I said, things coming and goes..!


Okay virgo man, theres no changing that mind of yours lol.
I mistaken said that to my boyfriend, I said, "OMG, you are such a virgo, theres no changing that mind of yours".
He looked at me like, "What? So being a capricorn, thats makes you special"
hehee, I said "Sure it does" Winking
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whatever.
Winking
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Posted by Shaks
Virgos like to have a good reason (or like to know there is a VERY good reason) to break up with someone, if the breaking up makes no sense to us (which is what initially happens when the other person wants to break up) then we'll stubbornly argue with the other person about it so the REAL reasons and motivations come to the surface, once it makes sense to us it becomes easier to let the other person go. Its a tad complicated to explain yeah smile


SHAKA! Hi Big Grin are you back home yet????
Okay, I can see your point. About how things have to make sense. Well, looks like I will have to just disappear and resurface when the coast is clear. I mean, I given him reason after reason and he doesn't see it.
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Posted by Qbone
whatever.
Winking



hehehehehe Tongue

You know, my boyfriend says all that stuff too. He like, "I've been in the world longer than you and I know the trials and turbulations ..." blah blah blah.
I tell him to stop being such a damned sour-puss. He doesn't need people he says, he will only associate with people but never get too close.
He says the only thing he needs is his daughters and me ...
oh dear Sad
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Actually, after that comment, I told him that women alone cannot make you happy Winking
He kinda reminds me of my dad alittle, just alittle not by much lol
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heeey capriquarian

WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN!

grrrr shaka!!!
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Yes, I guess thats probably the best thing you can do now..remember Venus in Leo dudes biggest turn off is...NOT getting any attention from our girls

Yeah ... well, in all honesty, I couldn't do that to him even if I tried. No way, to leave without warning, no way. Only if he hurt me. Plus, nothing good ever comes behind disappearing without a trace.

Nope, I can't do that
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Many cappy girls seem to have daddy issues
That may be part of why its so hard, you know? I care about him so much (I do) but I know I can't get the relationship all that he wants me to give and 'requires' that I give. I thought I could, but when he started wanting attention 24-7 NON-STOP, I was like, oh my god, what have a gotten myself into here.
I need to be into him and only him and nothing else in my world should matter accept pleasing him ...
I can see if I were on an island in the 1950s but I'm not lol, I'm in the U.S. in 2009. I devoted plenty of time to him ... until I had to go back to school (everything started late because of late registration but whatever I got in).
He said he understands and will support, but once I told him that I needed to finish my assignment and submit it. He didn't care. He said to tell you professor that you were with your boyfriend so therefore you couldn't get your assignment done.
WHAT! Sad That was huge assignment -- he taught that if I told my professor that, everything would be fine and if not, not to worry. Whatever, thats my grade! I couldn't leave because the butt-hole took my keys again. So yeah, I was late with the assignment. I was PISSED out of my mind because I soooo couldn't gotten an A.
I started distancing myself a bit after that. Only because it wasn't the first time my homework was intervined by him.
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my sag/cap gf says that all the time to me too LOL

HAHAHA, I see why Big Grin
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The thing is too that your style lends itself to discuss things openly and coming to an agreement (you have aqua moon and other air in your chart) whilst remember he's more of the fire type (aries moon, venus in leo) so he will only make emotional decisions based on ACTIONS, not words (like air),
Okay, I see
me: sun -- fire/earth, moon -- air, mars -- air/water, venus -- air
him: sun -- earth/air, moon -- fire, mars -- fire, venus -- fire
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The thing is too that your style lends itself to discuss things openly and coming to an agreement
lol, you've known me for a while. Thats so freaking true.
Thats exactly how I have to do it, discuss and see if we can have some common ground. I'm totally done if theres no resolution lol.
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I know ...
At first, he just seemed so different. He totally did a 360 on me. I never understood it, thinking back. He would make sure that I got into bed early no matter if I had homework to do or any thing job related. Which was awesome he cares for me so.
But, he would also like to stay up all night too and keep me up too lol. He calls me the motor-month and the active one. But damn it, he's not innocent at all. Telling him its time to go to bed is like telling a rabbit not to eat carrots.
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Yes, and thats the way most reasonable people operate as well, the fact your virdude has absolutely no consideration for your own interests is a huge RED FLAG sign.

He just thinks it more to life than professors and universities. He uses the threat of saying, "You want someone around when you done, don't you. Thats the trouble with you smart women. I love the fact that you will be professional but you need to open you heart more"
whatever, I do open my heart, he just using that Sad

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Listen to Uncle Shaks, he knows what hes on about (I felt a little incestous after saying that lol)
LOL!!! I bet you did!
LOL and Winking and lolololol @ Uncle Shaka Big Grin
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Cappy...Put that aqua moon of yours to good use! If he can't accept your reasons, that is his problem! Don't let him use these ridiculous tactics to keep you by his side. So far it seems to me like it's working, coz I thought you said here atleast a week ago that you had broken up with him. He is controlling you already...
And your other post in dwellings thread concerned me, where you said something about it would be a struggle to get out of a relationship with him. That is controlling and unhealthy...Whatever you do please be careful!! This could turn into a bad situation for you very fast if you don't keep your head about it.
Ya gotta learn to sever the tie and move on. Think of the strongest woman you know, then emulate her...It's not always EASY to be strong, but you'll get better at it with practice. Gotta look after yourself first chicky...
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Cappy...Put that aqua moon of yours to good use! If he can't accept your reasons, that is his problem! Don't let him use these ridiculous tactics to keep you by his side. So far it seems to me like it's working, coz I thought you said here atleast a week ago that you had broken up with him. He is controlling you already...
Yes ... I did say that. Indeed I did. Things changed, I thought it would be easy but nope, it was not. I tried but I don't know, it didn't work, no matter how much I try, you know? Hopefully, after I see him and we have our talk, things will be fine. I have been away from him for a while. I tried to breakup over the phone last time, this time, I do it face-to-face.

I know you do open your heart cappy..you seem like a sensitive girl the above quote makes me think this guy is not able to think in terms of LONG-term goals and the rewards of going after them, this is exactly the way many people who dont want to go to college, think. They are more into instant gratification, fast money, etc. This is another conflict in your relationship with him, its just a fact youre more academically inclined and he's not, and it can be very hard to make non-academic people understand your way of thinking.
He went to college but ... its a long-story, he never finished. But you are right, he is into quick money, which doesn't set well with me because I like foundations being built. Especially at his age, he should be putting into retirement I think.
OH for heavens sake, I will never tell him about those things. Last time we discussed that, we argued and argued and argued. and I thought, "He did we get here". Usually, we can talk about things with arguing. So that shocked me.

Thats why I say we are better as friends, we didn't argue as friends ...
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Cappy...Put that aqua moon of yours to good use!
My mars deactivates my moon sometimes -- my mars is on the cusp of sensitivity which makes more a total emotive.
But yes, he and I will talk. He wanted to know if he would see me and I told him yes.

Thank you Shaka and Oddball smile
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I don't think meeting him face to face to talk will change anything. I could be wrong though.
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Virgos like to have a good reason (or like to know there is a VERY good reason) to break up with someone, if the breaking up makes no sense to us (which is what initially happens when the other person wants to break up) then we'll stubbornly argue with the other person about it so the REAL reasons and motivations come to the surface, once it makes sense to us it becomes easier to let the other person go. Its a tad complicated to explain yeah smile


perfect explanation.
I read it this week also here: How can Virgo overcome thinking about their Ex and Self Criticizing - Lindaland
Only they have deleted the link.
Yes it seems to be typical Virgo trait. If our reasons do not make sense to them, they want to get us there to give the contact a second chance.
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?? left him , he tried to speak twice ?? acted like an ice. than he never tried anything.
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and ?? still want him back Sad
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I've initiated all of my breakups cept one... Usually things just build up to the point where I just get fed up and the constant struggle makes the love and attraction kinda just die off. When that happens, silent treatment starts, distance comes in, and I just slowly remove myself from their life. Never have wanted to hurt the person I just dont want the fuss and I dont want to list all the little stupid details of what made me pull away, cuz at times I dont even know... If those people hadnt caused so much bickering, struggle, arguments, emotional upheaval... I woulda prolly kept working at it.
The one that actually broke up with me, yea u guys are right I kept trying to make it work, make it last, convince them they were making the wrong choice, strung it along and milked it for all it was worth until the day came when I knew I had lost them completely emotionally and then yea obviously, pain starts and all that fun stuff. But I kept trying to keep it going becuz in my mind I was a "perfect girlfriend" and knew I was precise and attentive enough to make sure all his needs were met... And I succeeded. He just was a commitment phobe so, o well!
But yea I dont think we are easy to break up with only cuz we want to stick around like glue.
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Posted by DwellingOnMove
Virgos like to have a good reason (or like to know there is a VERY good reason) to break up with someone, if the breaking up makes no sense to us (which is what initially happens when the other person wants to break up) then we'll stubbornly argue with the other person about it so the REAL reasons and motivations come to the surface, once it makes sense to us it becomes easier to let the other person go. Its a tad complicated to explain yeah smile


perfect explanation.
I read it this week also here: How can Virgo overcome thinking about their Ex and Self Criticizing - Lindaland
Only they have deleted the link.
Yes it seems to be typical Virgo trait. If our reasons do not make sense to them, they want to get us there to give the contact a second chance.
click to expand





Me and my sag ex went through that. I wouldnt let it go till I had a perfect reason why we couldnt work or why we werent together. Still not fully satisfied with his reasons so from time to time when I see him we bicker about it as we are both stubborn and stuck to our convictions.
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