My Virgo Ex Hubby...is this normal?? HELP?!?!?
This topic was created in the Virgo forum by CancerCutey on Friday, April 5, 2013 and has 58 replies.
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Ok gonna try to make this short as possible but its pretty detailed. We married Dec. 1995 the first time, he moved fast and married me fast. HE cheated, lied and did nothing to help support our household or child. I divorced him. We have a son together who is now 17. I refused to speak to him or let him know where I was for 13 yrs. He finally found me and made contact, He hired not one but TWO private investigators to find me!
I was hesistant but emailed him and spoke that way. He stated he grew up alot, changed alot and had his own business now. Since that split in 1998 I had another child, but never remarried and he had a another child but never remarried.
We met face to face again in 2010, I saw he had grown and changed and there was still a HUGE spark between us. This may be stupid, but we remarried again 2010, his ex gf who he has another son with is a tad mentally unstable and created HUGE problems for us and him seeing his son and he had to call the police on her a couple of times due to her being out side his place causing issues and a scene. His ex is a Leo, so no surprise there I guess!
We ended up with an annaulment 4 months later and I moved to another state, where I remained for 2 years, got the occasional email from him applolgizing for the way it ended up and he wishes he could sit me down face to face and explain why. I told him explanation was not needed, it happened, it was stupid to get remarried and whats done is done. That was the end of it in my book. I made NO contact with him, ever! He has dated no one since the 2nd split with me in 2010.
We have our son together so he has my cell number for emergencies. Well I moved back to my home state, where he is...not for him but because of work. I started getting the occasional text asking how I was before I moved back. He has told me he is sorry more than once and that he misses me several times. Now that I have moved back, the texts are more frequent, he calls once in a while and has asked me to "grab some pizza" with him and asked me to have lunch with him. I refused both times. But he continues to ask. He asks how I am doing, if I went anywhere fun or did anything fun.
I am in shock and confused how he could have the nerve to speak to me ever again after his behavior and treatment of me!!?? He is 8/31/73 and I am 6/28/73 HELP!! What is wrong with him? I am a Cancer.
I was hesistant but emailed him and spoke that way. He stated he grew up alot, changed alot and had his own business now. Since that split in 1998 I had another child, but never remarried and he had a another child but never remarried.
We met face to face again in 2010, I saw he had grown and changed and there was still a HUGE spark between us. This may be stupid, but we remarried again 2010, his ex gf who he has another son with is a tad mentally unstable and created HUGE problems for us and him seeing his son and he had to call the police on her a couple of times due to her being out side his place causing issues and a scene. His ex is a Leo, so no surprise there I guess!
We ended up with an annaulment 4 months later and I moved to another state, where I remained for 2 years, got the occasional email from him applolgizing for the way it ended up and he wishes he could sit me down face to face and explain why. I told him explanation was not needed, it happened, it was stupid to get remarried and whats done is done. That was the end of it in my book. I made NO contact with him, ever! He has dated no one since the 2nd split with me in 2010.
We have our son together so he has my cell number for emergencies. Well I moved back to my home state, where he is...not for him but because of work. I started getting the occasional text asking how I was before I moved back. He has told me he is sorry more than once and that he misses me several times. Now that I have moved back, the texts are more frequent, he calls once in a while and has asked me to "grab some pizza" with him and asked me to have lunch with him. I refused both times. But he continues to ask. He asks how I am doing, if I went anywhere fun or did anything fun.
I am in shock and confused how he could have the nerve to speak to me ever again after his behavior and treatment of me!!?? He is 8/31/73 and I am 6/28/73 HELP!! What is wrong with him? I am a Cancer.
Let me make this clear, we are NOT dating..we are NOT together in anyway...I think he wants to be but I REFUSE to go any where near that again with him!!
I have question, OK he cheated, lied and did nothing to help the family. Last part I going through with my "ex"husband and went through the first part early in our relationship. I am Leo and he is. But why did you keep his child from him? Unless it is a situation of life and death because he is dangerously abusive. Why did you hide and keep his child from him? Come on, don't know the back story but that callous.
As far as his Leo ex, she is just a nut. Not sure about other Leo women, but for me, if you want to be with someone else, then go be. You are not worth me anyways. I did that when he cheated, I left with our infant child and pregnant and came home. Be with her. But I never kept his child from him. And now that he is being Haughty Majestic Leo and follow his big dreams not supporting his 3 children. The courts will get you. But I will would never keep his children from him. I even know now he has made contact with another female (I have my own "friend"), I know her name and where she lives. LOL, I have not interest in causing drama there. Go be with her when you are back in the country we are not together. But you have access to your children when you need it.
If you don't want him, then tell him to leave you alone, unless it has to do with your child in common. Plain and simple. You have nothing to discuss unless it is your son.
As far as his Leo ex, she is just a nut. Not sure about other Leo women, but for me, if you want to be with someone else, then go be. You are not worth me anyways. I did that when he cheated, I left with our infant child and pregnant and came home. Be with her. But I never kept his child from him. And now that he is being Haughty Majestic Leo and follow his big dreams not supporting his 3 children. The courts will get you. But I will would never keep his children from him. I even know now he has made contact with another female (I have my own "friend"), I know her name and where she lives. LOL, I have not interest in causing drama there. Go be with her when you are back in the country we are not together. But you have access to your children when you need it.
If you don't want him, then tell him to leave you alone, unless it has to do with your child in common. Plain and simple. You have nothing to discuss unless it is your son.
HE chose to not see his son, right after I first left the first time I stayed near him for our son, he NEVER changed a diaper, bought him gifts, or came by to take him anywhere or see him. So I moved away and hid. Secondly, I have told him to leave me alone, I have told him I have no interest. Yet he continues, he has my cell # only, not my address. My CELL is because we do have our son..I am just trying to understand how someone could do what he has done and act like he is and has acted and then think that it's all ok like nothing ever happened!! HIS behavior can not be normal!!!
He has admitted that it was all his fault, our marriage not working out BOTH times! He has TOLD ME mant times, if he had just settled down, if he had just been a husband and a father everything would be different, everything would be better. So he KNOWS it was his doing...
Posted by sugariesPosted by CancerCutey
He has admitted that it was all his fault, our marriage not working out BOTH times! He has TOLD ME mant times, if he had just settled down, if he had just been a husband and a father everything would be different, everything would be better. So he KNOWS it was his doing...
Then he's remorseful and that's how he can come back. So yes, it's pretty normal behavior for a person when they know they've f*cked up something important.click to expand
Yes I understand that...but my question is why is he remorseful about wrong doing, comes back, then messes it up again and hurts me then wants to come back again...remorseful to me is i did wrong, i want to fix it and be happy, NOT i did wrong, I want to fix it so I can do wrong again..that seems to be what he is thinking!!
Posted by sewdope
Wow you guys have really been back and forth a lot. It might be time to just give your son a cell and tell him to only contact him directly and not you under any circumstances. If he still hits you up, you'll have to ignore him. You could be sending him mixed signals by even replying at all. Some men will hold on to any form of communication as a sign that you're interested.
Yes we have been back and forth A LOT...that is why I have no intention of letting him back in again..enough is enough!! This emotional tug of war is mentally exhausting!! Why can't HE just walk away like I can??
He told me he thinks were "fated" or "DESTINED" for one another because we were born in the same hospital the same year, delivered by the same doctor 2 months apart from one another. He we were destined because of THAT!?!? I thought WHAT?? You have to be crazy!! He also said has all ways loved me and will all ways love me.
Posted by CancerCutey
HE chose to not see his son, right after I first left the first time I stayed near him for our son, he NEVER changed a diaper, bought him gifts, or came by to take him anywhere or see him. So I moved away and hid. Secondly, I have told him to leave me alone, I have told him I have no interest. Yet he continues, he has my cell # only, not my address. My CELL is because we do have our son..I am just trying to understand how someone could do what he has done and act like he is and has acted and then think that it's all ok like nothing ever happened!! HIS behavior can not be normal!!!
I understand, he was a shitty nonsexist farther. My farther wiped his hands of us when he left, and actually he is a Virgo, but my mother never denied the access to us if he choose. Unless under extreme circumstance though, not allowing access, even if unwanted is not good for the child.
However, I am getting an undertone here that this is deeper and more serious then what has been put forth so I will put it this way. I am a straight forward person. I would stop him mid sentence and tell him, this has nothing to do with our son, so this conversation will end now I am hanging up and have a wonderful day. If there is a continual contact that I can document as excessive after many warnings of no contact unless it is our child, then check the law of your state and file a stalking order. I am not sure hear, and I am not trying to pass any judgment with the child being not in his life and because you "hid", but the fact you are saying you hid and the fact he is repeatingly calling you etc....makes me suspect that this is not a safe situation for you and he is not a safe person. If this is so, you need take actions until you are safe.
Posted by TheLioness79Posted by CancerCutey
HE chose to not see his son, right after I first left the first time I stayed near him for our son, he NEVER changed a diaper, bought him gifts, or came by to take him anywhere or see him. So I moved away and hid. Secondly, I have told him to leave me alone, I have told him I have no interest. Yet he continues, he has my cell # only, not my address. My CELL is because we do have our son..I am just trying to understand how someone could do what he has done and act like he is and has acted and then think that it's all ok like nothing ever happened!! HIS behavior can not be normal!!!
I understand, he was a shitty nonsexist farther. My farther wiped his hands of us when he left, and actually he is a Virgo, but my mother never denied the access to us if he choose. Unless under extreme circumstance though, not allowing access, even if unwanted is not good for the child.
However, I am getting an undertone here that this is deeper and more serious then what has been put forth so I will put it this way. I am a straight forward person. I would stop him mid sentence and tell him, this has nothing to do with our son, so this conversation will end now I am hanging up and have a wonderful day. If there is a continual contact that I can document as excessive after many warnings of no contact unless it is our child, then check the law of your state and file a stalking order. I am not sure hear, and I am not trying to pass any judgment with the child being not in his life and because you "hid", but the fact you are saying you hid and the fact he is repeatingly calling you etc....makes me suspect that this is not a safe situation for you and he is not a safe person. If this is so, you need take actions until you are safe.click to expand
Yes he was very abusive physically and mentally in his younger years when I first left him. That is why I chose to hide..he is not now though, he is not violent at all anymore. I just have had enough of the emotional tug of war and I am DONE being hurt by him.
CancerCutey,
I am sorry you had to go through that. Good you left and good you hid. That is understandable. I worked 6 years with a local Domestic Violence Organization working with Teen Girls and teaching a class on building and having healthy relationships. I left quit last year when my life was just to much and I couldn't give myself to it or the girls. This is still sounding like he is trying to have power and control over you. Tread carefully. Stay away. Contact your local domestic organization even if it is to just talk to someone. You still have a child in common but he is almost an adult. You may need to take legal action for protection or stalking so you can keep him out of your life.
I am sorry you had to go through that. Good you left and good you hid. That is understandable. I worked 6 years with a local Domestic Violence Organization working with Teen Girls and teaching a class on building and having healthy relationships. I left quit last year when my life was just to much and I couldn't give myself to it or the girls. This is still sounding like he is trying to have power and control over you. Tread carefully. Stay away. Contact your local domestic organization even if it is to just talk to someone. You still have a child in common but he is almost an adult. You may need to take legal action for protection or stalking so you can keep him out of your life.
Also to add, there are many levels of abuse. If you are interested google Power & Control Wheel.
Posted by TheLioness79
Also to add, there are many levels of abuse. If you are interested google Power & Control Wheel.
Looked up the wheel and yes he did alot of those things in the past. I wont allow it now and he knows it!
Posted by CancerCutey
Ok gonna try to make this short as possible but its pretty detailed. We married Dec. 1995 the first time, he moved fast and married me fast. HE cheated, lied and did nothing to help support our household or child. I divorced him.
The 1st reason you gave were due to financial irresponsibility and infidelity.
Posted by CancerCutey
I was hesistant but emailed him and spoke that way. He stated he grew up alot, changed alot and had his own business now.
The main reason you gave for reconciling with him were sparks and that he became more fiscally responsible.
Posted by CancerCutey
Yes he was very abusive physically and mentally in his younger years when I first left him. That is why I chose to hide..he is not now though, he is not violent at all anymore. I just have had enough of the emotional tug of war and I am DONE being hurt by him.click to expand
Now you're stating this? I'm confused.
@Cancercutey.
What advice are you asking for really?
TaurusBull, She may not have wanted to go into all her past. Abuse and area that is still not talked about and sometimes people feel embarrassed or appear weak or other various reasons. I was able to pick up on it with her undertones of what she was saying about he ex with my experience working with DV organization. I know I am a private person and was jumped at first, and understandable until I gave my back story.
79-
Posted by CancerCutey
I am in shock and confused how he could have the nerve to speak to me ever again after his behavior and treatment of me!!?? He is 8/31/73 and I am 6/28/73 HELP!! What is wrong with him? I am a Cancer.
The 2nd time she reconciled with him, there was NO abuse.
She said the break-up was due to his crazy ex causing a stir between him and his son.
Posted by CancerCutey
This may be stupid, but we remarried again 2010, his ex gf who he has another son with is a tad mentally unstable and created HUGE problems for us and him seeing his son and he had to call the police on her a couple of times due to her being out side his place causing issues and a scene. His ex is a Leo, so no surprise there I guess!
We ended up with an annaulment 4 months later and I moved to another state, where I remained for 2 years, got the occasional email from him applolgizing for the way it ended up and he wishes he could sit me down face to face and explain why.click to expand
Now she's asking how could he have the nerve to speak to her again after the way he treated her?
Was she referring to her 1st marriage to him?
If so, she clearly forgave him and reconciled.
I really don't understand where the OP is going with this thread.
This thread seems to be going around in circles.
Posted by TaurusBull1977
@The Lioness79-
Posted by CancerCutey
I am in shock and confused how he could have the nerve to speak to me ever again after his behavior and treatment of me!!?? He is 8/31/73 and I am 6/28/73 HELP!! What is wrong with him? I am a Cancer.
The 2nd time she reconciled with him, there was NO abuse.
She said the break-up was due to his crazy ex causing a stir between him and his son.
Posted by CancerCutey
This may be stupid, but we remarried again 2010, his ex gf who he has another son with is a tad mentally unstable and created HUGE problems for us and him seeing his son and he had to call the police on her a couple of times due to her being out side his place causing issues and a scene. His ex is a Leo, so no surprise there I guess!
We ended up with an annaulment 4 months later and I moved to another state, where I remained for 2 years, got the occasional email from him applolgizing for the way it ended up and he wishes he could sit me down face to face and explain why.
Now she's asking how could he have the nerve to speak to her again after the way he treated her?
Was she referring to her 1st marriage to him?
If so, she clearly forgave him and reconciled.
I really don't understand where the OP is going with this thread.
This thread seems to be going around in circles.click to expand
I am not asking for advice, just some answers as to why a man could treat someone the way he did and then have the nerve to keep coming around. Yes, I took him back and yes his ex was the main reason for our second split, no physical abuse that time, but he was not very nice about asking me to go, took me to the air port, dropped me and luggage off on the curb and drove away, the money for my ticket came from me selling my wedding ring other wise I would have got no ticket too leave and would have been who knows where! So THAT is why I can ask how he has the nerve to speak to me again, and expect me to have anything to do with him again! Our first marriage he was abusive and our second he was a total jerk in the end...hope this helps you "understand" a little better.
Now this makes more sense.....
He sounds like he's just plain NUTS!
And clearly still very CHEAP...
He sounds like he's just plain NUTS!
And clearly still very CHEAP...
Posted by CluelessCancer
Cancercutey its time for you to get a REAL MAN.
Leo
Scorpio
Cancer
and leave this douche bag to the vultures.
I am dating a cancer man now, he is born 6/22/72 my birthday is 6/28/73 we do MUCH better together! There is none of the insane behavior and dramatic ups and down and craziness...he is domestic and honestly CARES...
Posted by CluelessCancerPosted by CancerCuteyPosted by CluelessCancer
Cancercutey its time for you to get a REAL MAN.
Leo
Scorpio
Cancer
and leave this douche bag to the vultures.
I am dating a cancer man now, he is born 6/22/72 my birthday is 6/28/73 we do MUCH better together! There is none of the insane behavior and dramatic ups and down and craziness...he is domestic and honestly CARES...
Most cancer/cancer relationships I know of work really well together. Congrats. Hope it turns out good for you, make sure to be aware of red flags...so you're not in an abusive relationship again.click to expand
No abusive red flags, trust me my eyes are all ways wide open for that now. He just has baggage from his ex wife who cheated broke his heart BAD and he has trust issues due to that AND the woman he dated before me he caught making out with one of his friends while they were dating. So he has a couple trust issues due to that but I think we are moving past those slowly but in a heathly way, we talk very well together.
Posted by CancerCuteyPosted by CluelessCancerPosted by CancerCuteyPosted by CluelessCancer
Cancercutey its time for you to get a REAL MAN.
Leo
Scorpio
Cancer
and leave this douche bag to the vultures.
I am dating a cancer man now, he is born 6/22/72 my birthday is 6/28/73 we do MUCH better together! There is none of the insane behavior and dramatic ups and down and craziness...he is domestic and honestly CARES...
Most cancer/cancer relationships I know of work really well together. Congrats. Hope it turns out good for you, make sure to be aware of red flags...so you're not in an abusive relationship again.
No abusive red flags, trust me my eyes are all ways wide open for that now. He just has baggage from his ex wife who cheated broke his heart BAD and he has trust issues due to that AND the woman he dated before me he caught making out with one of his friends while they were dating. So he has a couple trust issues due to that but I think we are moving past those slowly but in a heathly way, we talk very well together.click to expand
PS. I am DONE dating Virgo men...never again...was married to one twice and it was horrible BOTH times, THEN dated one for a short time and he was a total jackass too!! Liar and a cheat...dumped him after a month of dating. SO NO MORE VIRGOS!! EVER!!
Posted by CluelessCancer
Cancercutey its time for you to get a REAL MAN.
Leo
Scorpio
Cancer
and leave this douche bag to the vultures.
Uh, I don't know about Leo men, maybe that is because of what I am going through with my ex now who is Leo. I am done with Leo men.
Posted by CluelessCancer
You know it's not the zodiac sign, it's the man, i'm just trying to rub Virgos the wrong way, cause most of the men are clueless and dumb as treetrunk (extremely selfish) when it comes to relationships...
but ya i only messed with one leo, he was the best sex i have ever had, i mean he made me crawl, ooooo wee...anyways the other leo always hits on me, but he's not man enough to ever take it further.
so whatever.
My ex Leo, we did have MANY good years together and tentive to my needs, and I knew the man loved (still does) me. But lack ambition and was not a go getter. He was quiet and clammed up like a shell. I think he may have smoked something that laced with something bad and mad him go dumb or is having mid life crsis. Who knows I am done.
I wish he did that in the sheets. He could never match my passion and power. I was like damn be the King of the Jungle you are suppose to be, not a kitten. Now the Virgo guy friend on the other hand.....clothes are missing, lamps being knocked over on the floor, pillows on the goround the sheets are a tangled mess. Oh my.....
I get it. And that is the attraction towards the Virgo. Goal oriented, intelligent, funny, dedicated (to those worthy), go getter. And I get the pull him and you up by the strap, it is going through something and working together to fix it. I agree on work ethic, that is so important.
Lazy? But GMAT??? That is not logical.
Lazy? But GMAT??? That is not logical.
Interesting, us Leos we can be very loyal. Was he young or just one of those?
Oh I so understand. This the Virgo friend is the fantasy I always had of how sex should be. He is all MAN. We have an inside joke, this wet spot in my panties belongs to "Virgo Name" He can get me that way with just his kiss. I am so aggressive and passionate, the is no escaping I am just hungry for him all the time. If only he lived closer my mind would forever be blown and I wouldn't be able to speak or think.
Good luck with Cancer guy. Hopefully he will gives you that opportunity and .he surpasses your fantasy of him.
Oh I so understand. This the Virgo friend is the fantasy I always had of how sex should be. He is all MAN. We have an inside joke, this wet spot in my panties belongs to "Virgo Name" He can get me that way with just his kiss. I am so aggressive and passionate, the is no escaping I am just hungry for him all the time. If only he lived closer my mind would forever be blown and I wouldn't be able to speak or think.
Good luck with Cancer guy. Hopefully he will gives you that opportunity and .he surpasses your fantasy of him.
Posted by TheLioness79Posted by CluelessCancer
You know it's not the zodiac sign, it's the man, i'm just trying to rub Virgos the wrong way, cause most of the men are clueless and dumb as treetrunk (extremely selfish) when it comes to relationships...
but ya i only messed with one leo, he was the best sex i have ever had, i mean he made me crawl, ooooo wee...anyways the other leo always hits on me, but he's not man enough to ever take it further.
so whatever.
My ex Leo, we did have MANY good years together and tentive to my needs, and I knew the man loved (still does) me. But lack ambition and was not a go getter. He was quiet and clammed up like a shell. I think he may have smoked something that laced with something bad and mad him go dumb or is having mid life crsis. Who knows I am done.
I wish he did that in the sheets. He could never match my passion and power. I was like damn be the King of the Jungle you are suppose to be, not a kitten. Now the Virgo guy friend on the other hand.....clothes are missing, lamps being knocked over on the floor, pillows on the goround the sheets are a tangled mess. Oh my.....click to expand
Yep the only good thing from my virgo ex's ...Damn good in bed!! Holy crap talk about passion!!
Posted by TheLioness79
Interesting, us Leos we can be very loyal. Was he young or just one of those?
Oh I so understand. This the Virgo friend is the fantasy I always had of how sex should be. He is all MAN. We have an inside joke, this wet spot in my panties belongs to "Virgo Name" He can get me that way with just his kiss. I am so aggressive and passionate, the is no escaping I am just hungry for him all the time. If only he lived closer my mind would forever be blown and I wouldn't be able to speak or think.
Good luck with Cancer guy. Hopefully he will gives you that opportunity and .he surpasses your fantasy of him.
I really like the Cancer guy, we work really really well together,except in the bed room...not very much passion...it's just kinda blah...i try to spark it up but it never works..every once in a while he will kick it up a knotch and its good but for the most part its so so to blah...but he is sweet, loving, understanding and communicates awesome...just the sex is lacking a bit, he wont let me spice it up i've tried!
Posted by CluelessCancer
Ok so the Leo was king of the jungle. Very player. I had to stop him cause he was such a player and wouldn't commit to me.
anyways he just had that stroke going, i mean everytime he didn't have to do anything, i would be screaming. my legs would feel electric. i would have to literally escape him because it was too good...
no need for foreplay.
now though i really want to try a "Cancer"...i know this really hot looking African/Arab looking guy, omg, he is so fione, but we hung out for 4 days and i regret i didn't make any moves on him....i really wanted to sleep with him. we had a good time, but he made sure to make me aware i wasn't for him...and honest to god he is way too close to his mother..i don't want to be a mother....
anyways if i have the opportunity again i'll sleep with him, i have a feeling it would be sensual and so freaking good...he's stocky too...omg...
I have only been with one Leo guy, it was many years ago and a one night stand BUT it blew my mind!! The best sex ever! All these years later and I still remember it like it was yesterday!! He was a player but I did not care ha ha
Posted by CancerCutey
Ok gonna try to make this short as possible but its pretty detailed. We married Dec. 1995 the first time, he moved fast and married me fast. HE cheated, lied and did nothing to help support our household or child. I divorced him. We have a son together who is now 17. I refused to speak to him or let him know where I was for 13 yrs. He finally found me and made contact, He hired not one but TWO private investigators to find me!
I was hesistant but emailed him and spoke that way. He stated he grew up alot
As soon as you were questioned about deliberately removing your son from his father for 13 YEARS, you conveniently changed the story to abuse.
Posted by CancerCutey
HE chose to not see his son, right after I first left the first time I stayed near him for our son, he NEVER changed a diaper, bought him gifts, or came by to take him anywhere or see him. So I moved away and hid. Secondly, I have told him to leave me alone, I have told him I have no interest. Yet he continues, he has my cell # only, not my address. My CELL is because we do have our son..I am just trying to understand how someone could do what he has done and act like he is and has acted and then think that it's all ok like nothing ever happened!! HIS behavior can not be normal!!!
AGAIN...not a peep about abuse, just a spiteful person who thought she had the right to not allow a boy into his father's life.
There are so many holes in your story and you lie horribly. Regarding his Leo ex, and stating she has a mental problem...no, that would be a MOTHER who wanted the father in the child's life.
Posted by CancerCutey
I was hesistant but emailed him and spoke that way. He stated he grew up alot, changed alot and had his own business now. Since that split in 1998 I had another child, but never remarried and he had a another child but never remarried.click to expand
You smelled MONEY is what that ^^was. Is the 2nd child out of wedlock in touch with their father?
Or have you kidnapped that child too? You are some piece of work..
Posted by LetltBPosted by CancerCutey
Ok gonna try to make this short as possible but its pretty detailed. We married Dec. 1995 the first time, he moved fast and married me fast. HE cheated, lied and did nothing to help support our household or child. I divorced him. We have a son together who is now 17. I refused to speak to him or let him know where I was for 13 yrs. He finally found me and made contact, He hired not one but TWO private investigators to find me!
I was hesistant but emailed him and spoke that way. He stated he grew up alot
As soon as you were questioned about deliberately removing your son from his father for 13 YEARS, you conveniently changed the story to abuse.
Judgemental much?? I am so glad YOU know my past better than I do!! Well since you know so much you probably know he went to PRISON for drug use and running from the cops for 6 years. So even if I had not left he would not have seen his son anyway because I would not have taken him to a prison...all i can say to your post is WOW!!click to expand
Posted by LetltBPosted by CancerCutey
HE chose to not see his son, right after I first left the first time I stayed near him for our son, he NEVER changed a diaper, bought him gifts, or came by to take him anywhere or see him. So I moved away and hid. Secondly, I have told him to leave me alone, I have told him I have no interest. Yet he continues, he has my cell # only, not my address. My CELL is because we do have our son..I am just trying to understand how someone could do what he has done and act like he is and has acted and then think that it's all ok like nothing ever happened!! HIS behavior can not be normal!!!
AGAIN...not a peep about abuse, just a spiteful person who thought she had the right to not allow a boy into his father's life.
There are so many holes in your story and you lie horribly. Regarding his Leo ex, and stating she has a mental problem...no, that would be a MOTHER who wanted the father in the child's life.
Posted by CancerCutey
I was hesistant but emailed him and spoke that way. He stated he grew up alot, changed alot and had his own business now. Since that split in 1998 I had another child, but never remarried and he had a another child but never remarried.
You smelled MONEY is what that ^^was. Is the 2nd child out of wedlock in touch with their father?
I SMELLED MONEY?? Who are you to tell me that? You don't know me at all!! Money had nothing to do with it!! I am not a materialtistic person at all and that statement only proves you know nothing about me!! I WAS ABUSED, AND ABUSED WOMEN GO BACK ALL THE TIME!! Read the studies done on it moron!!
Or have you kidnapped that child too? You are some piece of work..click to expand
Posted by CancerCutey
amps being knocked over on the floor, pillows on the goround the sheets are a tangled mess. Oh my.....
Yep the only good thing from my virgo ex's ...Damn good in bed!! Holy crap talk about passion!!
True^^^^^^
*Getting warmed up just thinking about it*
But my gut instinct tells me despite all your ex Virgos obvious flaws....
It seems like you're trying to figure out a way to understand his behavior.
This is rarely stated for someone who has made a final decision to move on.
There may a great chance for a third reconciliation.
No pun intended CancerCutey.
Posted by RomancingA
It's not advice that she's seeking, she wants someone to stroke her ego and tell her that she has a magical cooter and that is why the Virgo just can't seem to get enough.
-----I could be wrong but that's the ONLY plausible reason why she is making this post. She lays it all out there, read the first post (that's the only post that I read, it's the only one that is consistent with the actual poster, everything else after that is a reflection on the outside commenter bringing in new information: so she changes her response to fit their ideals as well. Classic case of a certain type of personality disorder.
Not true..I simply did not feel the need in the original post to air every single dirty detail of my past relationship. I was simply trying to give a brief view of some of the facts WITHOUT airing it ALL out there to be judged upon as I clearly have been.
Posted by TaurusBull1977Posted by CancerCutey
amps being knocked over on the floor, pillows on the goround the sheets are a tangled mess. Oh my.....
Yep the only good thing from my virgo ex's ...Damn good in bed!! Holy crap talk about passion!!
True^^^^^^
*Getting warmed up just thinking about it*
But my gut instinct tells me despite all your ex Virgos obvious flaws....
It seems like you're trying to figure out a way to understand his behavior.
This is rarely stated for someone who has made a final decision to move on.
There may a great chance for a third reconciliation.
No pun intended CancerCutey.click to expand
No 3rd reconciliation trust me on that, I would never trust him with my heart again. Hurt me once shame on you, hurt me twice shame on me BUT hurt me a thrid time...I would be clearly have lost my mind!!
Posted by CancerCutey
No 3rd reconciliation trust me on that, I would never trust him with my heart again. Hurt me once shame on you, hurt me twice shame on me BUT hurt me a thrid time...I would be clearly have lost my mind!!
1. When the both of you reconciled, was your son living with the both of you. Did he bond with his son during the reconciliation (second marriage)?
2. You mentioned when he left your belongings on the curb....was your son with you at this time?
3. Has he attempted to reach out to you to bond with your son, or to reconcile with you?
I'm not judging you.
I'm just trying to understand the your need for creating a thread out of curiosity for someone you have moved on from.
Although you're currently seeing a Cancer man.
Something tells me that you're not emotionally available for him.
Maybe you needed closure, an explanation, etc...
If you haven't found closure with this Virgo...
Then you may not be ready to move on with this Cancer man.
Posted by TaurusBull1977Posted by CancerCutey
No 3rd reconciliation trust me on that, I would never trust him with my heart again. Hurt me once shame on you, hurt me twice shame on me BUT hurt me a thrid time...I would be clearly have lost my mind!!
1. When the both of you reconciled, was your son living with the both of you. Did he bond with his son during the reconciliation (second marriage)?
2. You mentioned when he left your belongings on the curb....was your son with you at this time?
3. Has he attempted to reach out to you to bond with your son, or to reconcile with you?
I'm not judging you.
I'm just trying to understand the your need for creating a thread out of curiosity for someone you have moved on from.
Although you're currently seeing a Cancer man.
Something tells me that you're not emotionally available for him.
Maybe you needed closure, an explanation, etc...
If you haven't found closure with this Virgo...
My son goes to a boarding school for autistic children he is home for summer months only..at that time he was in school. My virgo ex never asks about him or talks to him via phone. When he calls he asks only about how I am doing and what I am up to such as during the weekend ect...So no my son has never bonded with his father. That was his fathers choice apparently.
As far as the cancer guy, I am emotionally available...this post is out of curiosity only, not because there are feelings left for my ex virgo. Just trying to understand his mentality which may never happen.click to expand
Posted by LetltB
Women who are abused and get away from their abuser DO NOT EVER go back to a man who abused them.
Is this a joke? Women who are abused and get away from their abuser don't go back to the man who abused them? What world are you living in.
I have no idea if this woman was abused or not, not sure why someone would lie about that and I can see why she would with hold that information about her life but to say that women who are abused NEVER go back... That's pure insanity.
Have you ever volunteered at a Domestic Violence Center? if not, maybe you should.
So here's all of your quotes...
"HE cheated, lied and did nothing to help support our household or child. I divorced him. We have a son together who is now 17. I refused to speak to him or let him know where I was for 13 yrs."
then you contradict that^^with this:
"HE chose to not see his son, right after I first left the first time I stayed near him for our son, he NEVER changed a diaper, bought him gifts, or came by to take him anywhere or see him."
Then you begin to build it up with the abuse and only had enough of the "emotional tug of war"
"Yes he was very abusive physically and mentally in his younger years when I first left him. That is why I chose to hide..he is not now though, he is not violent at all anymore. I just have had enough of the emotional tug of war and I am DONE being hurt by him".
Then I flat out tell you this sounds like bullshit and you build it some more with the prison line
"Well since you know so much you probably know he went to PRISON for drug use and running from the cops for 6 years. So even if I had not left he would not have seen his son anyway because I would not have taken him to a prison...all i can say to your post is WOW!!"
Quote number two above, you say when you left and stayed near him for your son, and being all beaten and abused, you were actually pissed off that he didn't change a diaper, buy him gifts or come pick the boy up to take him anywhere? If he was in prison how the hell could he do all that? If he was running for six years how could he do all that?
I have HELPED abused women get away from slime balls like this, I've helped them get out of state and AWAY, and they never go back. Now if you told me you were afraid of him and afraid to leave an abusive situation like that, THAT is true, and THAT is statistically correct. If you were so damned abused, you wouldn't have stayed CLOSE to him so he could have access to his son, hell you told us how many times he didn't give a shit about his son. So yea...BIG holes in your bullshit story, and every time you build on the "story" it gets worse. So quit while your ahead.
"HE cheated, lied and did nothing to help support our household or child. I divorced him. We have a son together who is now 17. I refused to speak to him or let him know where I was for 13 yrs."
then you contradict that^^with this:
"HE chose to not see his son, right after I first left the first time I stayed near him for our son, he NEVER changed a diaper, bought him gifts, or came by to take him anywhere or see him."
Then you begin to build it up with the abuse and only had enough of the "emotional tug of war"
"Yes he was very abusive physically and mentally in his younger years when I first left him. That is why I chose to hide..he is not now though, he is not violent at all anymore. I just have had enough of the emotional tug of war and I am DONE being hurt by him".
Then I flat out tell you this sounds like bullshit and you build it some more with the prison line
"Well since you know so much you probably know he went to PRISON for drug use and running from the cops for 6 years. So even if I had not left he would not have seen his son anyway because I would not have taken him to a prison...all i can say to your post is WOW!!"
Quote number two above, you say when you left and stayed near him for your son, and being all beaten and abused, you were actually pissed off that he didn't change a diaper, buy him gifts or come pick the boy up to take him anywhere? If he was in prison how the hell could he do all that? If he was running for six years how could he do all that?
I have HELPED abused women get away from slime balls like this, I've helped them get out of state and AWAY, and they never go back. Now if you told me you were afraid of him and afraid to leave an abusive situation like that, THAT is true, and THAT is statistically correct. If you were so damned abused, you wouldn't have stayed CLOSE to him so he could have access to his son, hell you told us how many times he didn't give a shit about his son. So yea...BIG holes in your bullshit story, and every time you build on the "story" it gets worse. So quit while your ahead.
Posted by GodMadeBeauty
Is this a joke? Women who are abused and get away from their abuser don't go back to the man who abused them? What world are you living in.
I have no idea if this woman was abused or not, not sure why someone would lie about that and I can see why she would with hold that information about her life but to say that women who are abused NEVER go back... That's pure insanity.
Have you ever volunteered at a Domestic Violence Center? if not, maybe you should.
I suggest you reread the inconsistencies in EACH post before you jump to conclusions. Now kindly remove your nose from ass and move on. Thank you.
Posted by CancerCutey
My son goes to a boarding school for autistic children he is home for summer months only..at that time he was in school. My virgo ex never asks about him or talks to him via phone. When he calls he asks only about how I am doing and what I am up to such as during the weekend ect...So no my son has never bonded with his father. That was his fathers choice apparently.
Posted by CancerCutey
My CELL is because we do have our son..
Your son is away at boarding school.
He's away from you 9 months out of the year.
...And you have admitted that your Virgo CHOSE not to have any contact with your son.
Why does he have your cell number again?????
Posted by TaurusBull1977
There may a great chance for a third reconciliation.
No pun intended CancerCutey.click to expand
I stand behind my initial instinct.
Posted by LetltB
So here's all of your quotes...
"HE cheated, lied and did nothing to help support our household or child. I divorced him. We have a son together who is now 17. I refused to speak to him or let him know where I was for 13 yrs."
then you contradict that^^with this:
"HE chose to not see his son, right after I first left the first time I stayed near him for our son, he NEVER changed a diaper, bought him gifts, or came by to take him anywhere or see him."
Then you begin to build it up with the abuse and only had enough of the "emotional tug of war"
"Yes he was very abusive physically and mentally in his younger years when I first left him. That is why I chose to hide..he is not now though, he is not violent at all anymore. I just have had enough of the emotional tug of war and I am DONE being hurt by him".
Then I flat out tell you this sounds like bullshit and you build it some more with the prison line
"Well since you know so much you probably know he went to PRISON for drug use and running from the cops for 6 years. So even if I had not left he would not have seen his son anyway because I would not have taken him to a prison...all i can say to your post is WOW!!"
Quote number two above, you say when you left and stayed near him for your son, and being all beaten and abused, you were actually pissed off that he didn't change a diaper, buy him gifts or come pick the boy up to take him anywhere? If he was in prison how the hell could he do all that? If he was running for six years how could he do all that?
I have HELPED abused women get away from slime balls like this, I've helped them get out of state and AWAY, and they never go back. Now if you told me you were afraid of him and afraid to leave an abusive situation like that, THAT is true, and THAT is statistically correct. If you were so damned abused, you wouldn't have stayed CLOSE to him so he could have access to his son, hell you told us how many times he didn't give a shit about his son. So yea...BIG holes in your bullshit story, and every time you build on the "story" it gets worse. So quit while your ahead.
I STAYED CLOSE FOR A MATTER OF MONTHS...THEN I MOVED FROM CALIFORNIA TO ALASKA! So no I did not stay close at all!! You are judemental and have no clue what your talking about...NO
Posted by TaurusBull1977Posted by CancerCutey
My son goes to a boarding school for autistic children he is home for summer months only..at that time he was in school. My virgo ex never asks about him or talks to him via phone. When he calls he asks only about how I am doing and what I am up to such as during the weekend ect...So no my son has never bonded with his father. That was his fathers choice apparently.
Posted by CancerCutey
My CELL is because we do have our son..
Your son is away at boarding school.
He's away from you 9 months out of the year.
...And you have admitted that your Virgo CHOSE not to have any contact with your son.
Why does he have your cell number again?????
Posted by TaurusBull1977
There may a great chance for a third reconciliation.
No pun intended CancerCutey.
I stand behind my initial instinct.click to expand
I gave him my cell for my son ...he is autistic and has episodes just incase something bad happens...emergency line type thing
Posted by LetltB
I suggest you reread the inconsistencies in EACH post before you jump to conclusions. Now kindly remove your nose from ass and move on. Thank you.
LOL.
@LetItBe
I believe that the OP (Cancercutey)is telling the truth about her past with this Virgo man. I don''t think there are inconsistencies in her stories. Just revelations. She married him for a second time. She wanted to conceal the humiliating aspect(s) of their relationship by avoiding being judged for reconciling with a man who was a useless, bum & a piece of shit.
1. During their second marriage, he STILL made no attempts to bond with their son. She didn't care as long as she was with him.
2. He has her cell number, although he has NO relationship with their son, she still needs an excuse to hear his voice.
3. Her autistic son is away at boarding school, and she relocated to her hometown to be closer to him. In other words being closer to this Virgo is more important. ( I don't buy the job relocation story).
4. She claimed she 'hid' because he was abusive, and didn't want anything to do with their son. Quite the contrary. She 'hid' because she needed to get over him emotionally. The only way that was possible was to block him out...and cut off all contact.
He will always be her 'drug.' She will never get over him.
Thus, the reason for her creating this thread.....
I believe that he's everything that she described.
Deep down inside she knows he doesn't give a fuck about her or her son.
She just wants affirmation that she's wrong in her assumption of him.
Posted by TaurusBull1977Posted by LetltB
I suggest you reread the inconsistencies in EACH post before you jump to conclusions. Now kindly remove your nose from ass and move on. Thank you.
LOL.
@LetItBe
I believe that the OP (Cancercutey)is telling the truth about her past with this Virgo man. I don''t think there are inconsistencies in her stories. Just revelations. She married him for a second time. She wanted to conceal the humiliating aspect(s) of their relationship by avoiding being judged for reconciling with a man who was a useless, bum & a piece of shit.
1. During their second marriage, he STILL made no attempts to bond with their son. She didn't care as long as she was with him.
2. He has her cell number, although he has NO relationship with their son, she still needs an excuse to hear his voice.
3. Her autistic son is away at boarding school, and she relocated to her hometown to be closer to him. In other words being closer to this Virgo is more important. ( I don't buy the job relocation story).
4. She claimed she 'hid' because he was abusive, and didn't want anything to do with their son. Quite the contrary. She 'hid' because she needed to get over him emotionally. The only way that was possible was to block him out...and cut off all contact.
He will always be her 'drug.' She will never get over him.
Thus, the reason for her creating this thread.....
I believe that he's everything that she described.
Deep down inside she knows he doesn't give a fuck about her or her son.
She just wants affirmation that she's wrong in her assumption of him.
click to expand
Some of what you say may be true, but some is NOT at all. I really don't feel I have emotions for him. I did not move home for him...I moved back because my father is 74 and his health is very bad. He can no longer drive or take care of himself. THAT is why I moved back. My ex was not a thought in that choice at all.
Posted by TaurusBull1977
@LetItBe
I believe that the OP (Cancercutey)is telling the truth about her past with this Virgo man. I don''t think there are inconsistencies in her stories. Just revelations. She married him for a second time. She wanted to conceal the humiliating aspect(s) of their relationship by avoiding being judged for reconciling with a man who was a useless, bum & a piece of shit.
1. During their second marriage, he STILL made no attempts to bond with their son. She didn't care as long as she was with him.
2. He has her cell number, although he has NO relationship with their son, she still needs an excuse to hear his voice.
3. Her autistic son is away at boarding school, and she relocated to her hometown to be closer to him. In other words being closer to this Virgo is more important. ( I don't buy the job relocation story).
4. She claimed she 'hid' because he was abusive, and didn't want anything to do with their son. Quite the contrary. She 'hid' because she needed to get over him emotionally. The only way that was possible was to block him out...and cut off all contact.
As you stand behind your instincts, I stand behind mine TB. The first post, I don't care if it was my own sister..you simply DO NOT keep a child away from his/her father. It's Parent Alienation and she took it a step further as kidnapping. Hell, he hired two private investigators to find them, and if he wanted to could have had her in prison as a result. Not only that an abusive man would do exactly that and take the son away from her. I guarantee the 2nd child doesn't see the father either, the way she described that breakup and her jealousy of his Leo ex. The only people here who are going to pay mentally, emotionally are the children. All she cares about is herself. THAT is very clear. What's really sweet here, is the Cancer she's hooked up with. That Scorpio moon placement he has is going to see right through the b.s. Karma will be aknockin..for sure. Where the hell is Pangel?..she'd have field day with this one.
Posted by LetltBPosted by TaurusBull1977
@LetItBe
I believe that the OP (Cancercutey)is telling the truth about her past with this Virgo man. I don''t think there are inconsistencies in her stories. Just revelations. She married him for a second time. She wanted to conceal the humiliating aspect(s) of their relationship by avoiding being judged for reconciling with a man who was a useless, bum & a piece of shit.
1. During their second marriage, he STILL made no attempts to bond with their son. She didn't care as long as she was with him.
2. He has her cell number, although he has NO relationship with their son, she still needs an excuse to hear his voice.
3. Her autistic son is away at boarding school, and she relocated to her hometown to be closer to him. In other words being closer to this Virgo is more important. ( I don't buy the job relocation story).
4. She claimed she 'hid' because he was abusive, and didn't want anything to do with their son. Quite the contrary. She 'hid' because she needed to get over him emotionally. The only way that was possible was to block him out...and cut off all contact.
Why is is soooo hard for you to understand HE HAS NO INTEREST IN OUR CHILD, NONE!! He does not call to check up on him, he never even asks about him. He asks about me! What I am doing ect...That is not my doing, that is HIS doing. As far as my second child, he is not apart of this story or this post! You have done nothing but assume horrible things about me and you don't even know me!! I went from asking for a little understanding on HIS behavior to having my actions torn apart and judged I WAS ABUSED, I LEFT AND HID FOR A REASON MORON! Oh and if it was kidnapping and he was soooo distrught over loosing his son while he was in PRISON then why did he not press charges on me? OH I KNOW WHY, BECAUSE HE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT OUR SON, NEVER PAID ANY CHILD SUPPORT, NEVER CALLS HIM AND NEVER VISITS HIM!! Oh NEVER asks for pictures of him either. I moved back here for a job and to take care of my father who is very ill! That is it!!
As you stand behind your instincts, I stand behind mine TB. The first post, I don't care if it was my own sister..you simply DO NOT keep a child away from his/her father. It's Parent Alienation and she took it a step further as kidnapping. Hell, he hired two privateclick to expand
Posted by CancerCutey
Well I moved back to my home state, where he is...not for him but because of work.
Posted by CancerCutey
I did not move home for him...I moved back because my father is 74 and his health is very bad. He can no longer drive or take care of himself. THAT is why I moved back. My ex was not a thought in that choice at all.click to expand
There lies an inconsistency. Two different reasons that are not factual.
CancerCutey.
Don't be embarrassed. I'm not judging you. You moved to simply be closer to him. As I stated initially, you have it real bad for the wrong guy.
We have all been there.
But your case is a bit extreme, and you're in serious denial. I strongly believe that during your second reconciliation (marriage) to this guy, your second child did not live with you as well. (since this child was not mentioned when he sat your baggage to the curb, and you had to pawn your ring to get a plane ticket back home).
This man takes precedence over everything. Your life, career...even your children.
I don't believe that you intentionally tried to keep him from his child, because to be honest, we both know he didn't give a fuck!...I think you were simply trying to get away from him. He's your drug....and he's calling you....
...And he did....
Lured you right back to your hometown.
If you want to be REALLY over him.
Change your cell number. Your son is away from you 9 months out of the year, and he has openly demonstrated time and time again that he does NOT want a relationship with his son.
Emergency contact?
Really?
Come the fuck on!
Change the number and be done with him!
Posted by LetltB
..............the way she described that breakup and her jealousy of his Leo ex.
I strongly agree. In my opinion, the guy is a jerk which explains the Leo's persistent behavior in calling him out on his BS!
But CancerCutey in my opinion, probably didn't want his child (with the Leo ex) to be a part of the life she created with the Virgo.
Keep in mind, the Virgo didn't want to be a part of CancerCutey's child's life either, and her second child's life during their second reconciliation...and she didn't care either. She was perfectly alright with that. She doesn't live with the 1st child, and my gut instinct tells me she doesn't live with the second child either.
The PI's was just an excuse to gain control over her again...and it worked!
It's him and her.
Her and him.
He takes precedence over everything!
She knows exactly why she's back in her hometown.....
T
@TaurusBull1977
Bullseye
@LetItBe
No gloves - Namaste
@TheLioness79 and CoolCappy
The mediators
Way to go all, it sure wasn't adding up no matter which way it turned O_O
@Cancercutey
You can still decide even at this point in your life to be honest with yourself first. You can't change him...you know the rest.
Bullseye
@LetItBe
No gloves - Namaste
@TheLioness79 and CoolCappy
The mediators
Way to go all, it sure wasn't adding up no matter which way it turned O_O
@Cancercutey
You can still decide even at this point in your life to be honest with yourself first. You can't change him...you know the rest.
Posted by CluelessCancer
Can you blame her a Virgo will drive any woman to insanity, especially a CANCER chick.
lethal
I am ALMOST sorry I posted this...not the intent I had in mind and did not need the negativity nor did I need the judgement from people who think they KNOW and do not know a thing about the situation. People who must be saints and perfect in there own lives, they must be to be able to judge me and my life like this...in order to judge others you need to be perfect yourself!!
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