My Virguy Updates..poff please help??
This topic was created in the Virgo forum by Miasma on Monday, April 20, 2009 and has 11 replies.
Hi everyone,
Maybe you will remember my virguy that I was trying to figure out, time to time i am writing some updates and asking for ur comments which are helpful for me
if anyone is interested this was the last post : http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/messages.asp?id=1599614
Now, its been a year that we are hanging out together and seeing eachother regularly.
Some progress; in these last two months he introduced me to his friends and we went to ski-trips several times with his friends. He told that his friends really liked me so i was happy about it but I was not introduced to them as his "girlfriend". I didn't question it but one day he explained that he doesn't like talking to his friends about girls, he doesnt like giving information about whats going on between us, he told me that guys would want details and he doesnt like sharing those details. I am still hanging out with his friends, we are going for coffees or movies time to time and the virguy still continues the sarcasm with me, joking with me etc..
if i look from some aspect i feel like we are in a relationship; I mean we are seeing eachother regularly, we went to trips together, we know our friends, sometimes we are spending the whole weekend together, when he needs clothes we are going shopping, when my car is broke he is taking care of it, he loves spending time with my cats, sometimes i feel he cares
however there is another angle; for sure we are not officially in a relationship, i can't say easily "he is my boyfriend" i have to stop and think what he is. We dont communicate regularly, we may stay 3-4 days without even saying a simple "hi". Even though sometimes i feel he cares, sometimes i feel like he doesnt give a shit, for example i am asking about his week, his work, his plans and he doesnt even ask back something or show some curiosity about my life. Sometimes he is very critical with the way i am doing stuff (driving the car, feeding the cats bla bla, very simple things) and explains me how perfectly he is handling things. He doesnt talk, i dont even know what is he thinking about me.
so the pros and cons eliminate themselves and things get neutralized. I find myself asking the same question what is this?
Recently he changed his department at work; he works for longer hours and i think he is trying to adapt to this new job. He avoids talking about it but i can see his not very happy about it.
Maybe you will remember my virguy that I was trying to figure out, time to time i am writing some updates and asking for ur comments which are helpful for me
if anyone is interested this was the last post : http://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/messages.asp?id=1599614
Now, its been a year that we are hanging out together and seeing eachother regularly.
Some progress; in these last two months he introduced me to his friends and we went to ski-trips several times with his friends. He told that his friends really liked me so i was happy about it but I was not introduced to them as his "girlfriend". I didn't question it but one day he explained that he doesn't like talking to his friends about girls, he doesnt like giving information about whats going on between us, he told me that guys would want details and he doesnt like sharing those details. I am still hanging out with his friends, we are going for coffees or movies time to time and the virguy still continues the sarcasm with me, joking with me etc..
if i look from some aspect i feel like we are in a relationship; I mean we are seeing eachother regularly, we went to trips together, we know our friends, sometimes we are spending the whole weekend together, when he needs clothes we are going shopping, when my car is broke he is taking care of it, he loves spending time with my cats, sometimes i feel he cares
however there is another angle; for sure we are not officially in a relationship, i can't say easily "he is my boyfriend" i have to stop and think what he is. We dont communicate regularly, we may stay 3-4 days without even saying a simple "hi". Even though sometimes i feel he cares, sometimes i feel like he doesnt give a shit, for example i am asking about his week, his work, his plans and he doesnt even ask back something or show some curiosity about my life. Sometimes he is very critical with the way i am doing stuff (driving the car, feeding the cats bla bla, very simple things) and explains me how perfectly he is handling things. He doesnt talk, i dont even know what is he thinking about me.
so the pros and cons eliminate themselves and things get neutralized. I find myself asking the same question what is this?
Recently he changed his department at work; he works for longer hours and i think he is trying to adapt to this new job. He avoids talking about it but i can see his not very happy about it.
Adaptation period can be slow. I also should confess that i made a little nagging, even though he can't tolerate it and go deep down to his cave. Things are ok now. We are having ups and downs
I feel down in these recent days and i need some comments from you guys
I feel down in these recent days and i need some comments from you guys
so what exactly are you getting out of this?
companionship sometimes?
confusion.
no emotional attachment or a person to share your life with on a deeper level.
it is a year and he is not a boyfriend.
what exactly are you in this for? stop asking about him and his thoughts...start asking about yourself. why are you willing to settle for this half ass dating scheme? is that all you want? you want a guy who does not care about your life or your day?
sounds like you are convenient to him....and you make it all easy.
companionship sometimes?
confusion.
no emotional attachment or a person to share your life with on a deeper level.
it is a year and he is not a boyfriend.
what exactly are you in this for? stop asking about him and his thoughts...start asking about yourself. why are you willing to settle for this half ass dating scheme? is that all you want? you want a guy who does not care about your life or your day?
sounds like you are convenient to him....and you make it all easy.
oh, and are you still doing all the work? all the planning of dates? all the calling?
that changed a little bit since March, because every weekend we were going to the mountains, and they are planning the trip as a group and handling the prices (getting some discounts). So he had to take action and call me and inform me and ask if i would like to join them every week.
Talking about April; no more mountain trips so he arranged some cinema plans with dinner
and time to time he tells me that it would be good to spend some time during the weekend.
I am also still planning but not just me this time
Talking about April; no more mountain trips so he arranged some cinema plans with dinner
and time to time he tells me that it would be good to spend some time during the weekend.
I am also still planning but not just me this time
leokitten,
Interesting that you asked me that question
Interesting that you asked me that question
she did that....the backing away. he did not call her for three weeks. so.....shoudl tell you something right there.
Leokitten,
I am not defending him here but 3 weeks i backed off and he didn't call, anyway he was not calling, he contacts online or text messages...so he was constant bla bla bla
but after that 3 weeks the relationship did change, his behaviors changed in a positive way, i mean there was progress.
Anyway we are still not having a relationship, but i am just telling wat happened.
I am not defending him here but 3 weeks i backed off and he didn't call, anyway he was not calling, he contacts online or text messages...so he was constant bla bla bla
but after that 3 weeks the relationship did change, his behaviors changed in a positive way, i mean there was progress.
Anyway we are still not having a relationship, but i am just telling wat happened.
yes...you are still not having a relationship. after a year of you giving up the booty.
so...here is the question...how long can you go not being in a relationship....how log can you go being undefin ed and not recognized by him as your girlfriend? how long can you go not committed?
and...how much more time will you spend piecing together the crumbs he throws you here and there to try and convince yourself he cares about you?
see, in a real relationship...where the guy actually loves you...you do not have to wait for the crumbs and pathetically piece them together...nope, when a guy loves you he shows it. he is proud of you for being with him...he tells people you are with him...because he is proud. his excuse on not telling buddies...come on...bullshit. so calling you a gf suddenly makes it ok for them to ask sexual questions...like they do not anyways? and what, he is not mature enough to say "none of your business"?
how many excuses can you come up with? and when you run out, what happens?
so...here is the question...how long can you go not being in a relationship....how log can you go being undefin ed and not recognized by him as your girlfriend? how long can you go not committed?
and...how much more time will you spend piecing together the crumbs he throws you here and there to try and convince yourself he cares about you?
see, in a real relationship...where the guy actually loves you...you do not have to wait for the crumbs and pathetically piece them together...nope, when a guy loves you he shows it. he is proud of you for being with him...he tells people you are with him...because he is proud. his excuse on not telling buddies...come on...bullshit. so calling you a gf suddenly makes it ok for them to ask sexual questions...like they do not anyways? and what, he is not mature enough to say "none of your business"?
how many excuses can you come up with? and when you run out, what happens?
If some things have changed in his behaviour why shouldn't you wait for more improvement? Try your best.
Does he have a good impact on you? Are you making a good life? Or do you feel weak inside? Are you fearful most of the time? Have your ideas come to an end in your life? Or you are exploding with ideas? How old are you? How much time and youth would you waste if you keep waiting? Do you want to have children? Any chance that it happens by accident?
If you can still get children, you should take floic acid. Because if it happens by accident and you lose the child just because you both never declare your communication as a relationship, then you will be disappointed multiple times. But if you can keep the child, you both can discuss if the basis is enough for a family. At least I know a Virgmann who married his gf of several years just becaus of their first child.
Does he have a good impact on you? Are you making a good life? Or do you feel weak inside? Are you fearful most of the time? Have your ideas come to an end in your life? Or you are exploding with ideas? How old are you? How much time and youth would you waste if you keep waiting? Do you want to have children? Any chance that it happens by accident?
If you can still get children, you should take floic acid. Because if it happens by accident and you lose the child just because you both never declare your communication as a relationship, then you will be disappointed multiple times. But if you can keep the child, you both can discuss if the basis is enough for a family. At least I know a Virgmann who married his gf of several years just becaus of their first child.
Dwelling,
I am 25 years old and he is 26, i never thought of having a child with anyone yet. However, i should be in a perfect relationshiop in order to think of having a child. It wouldnt be logical to do the other way around, i mean having a child to have a good relationship. That would not be healthy
There are a lot of things that i should figure out about life first so i can be a better parent.
This is simply; i like the guy and would be happy to have a simple relationship with him
I am 25 years old and he is 26, i never thought of having a child with anyone yet. However, i should be in a perfect relationshiop in order to think of having a child. It wouldnt be logical to do the other way around, i mean having a child to have a good relationship. That would not be healthy
There are a lot of things that i should figure out about life first so i can be a better parent.
This is simply; i like the guy and would be happy to have a simple relationship with him
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