Need a male Virgo's advice...
This topic was created in the Virgo forum by CapyWife on Tuesday, December 9, 2008 and has 17 replies.
I have never really been to into virgo men but there is this one Virgo guy that I've known for about 11 years who comes in and out of my life. Everytime we start communicating we get really close to each other and call each other all the time and talk for hours (it's long distance also). My question is do Virgo guys lead women on? How do you know if they are really interested? Like I said things will be going good and then all of a sudden dispite all the sweet talk and long nights on the phone he'll do something to screw it up. Just wondering if there is a way to know his heart is really into this?
Also how do you feel about long distance relationships?
Also how do you feel about long distance relationships?
sounds like me, i myself do the same 4 me if i dont see any progress on the woman side i feel im wasting my time... plus i dont like long dist relastionship but thats me he could be different there.
Sounds like a general male problem, not a Virgo problem. Sometimes men are just screw ups. Its the truth, I'm a male and I know screw up all the time, but it good women out there that show their patience to me/us and accept the fact that everyone screws up.
"My question is do Virgo guys lead women on?" Virgo men usually don't led women on, just due to the fact that most of us virguys don't mind being led on. But sometimes we can be a push over, but if that topic is brought up, virgo will toughen up, but you have to let them know. They tend to hide a lot, and often times confrontations have them running for a cave. So its always advised that you bring it up a way a Virgo would do it. Logically, and in the form of a deep question with tons of detail.
"How do you know if they are really interested?" If he is sweet talking you every night, and spends the time with you, Virgos usually don't spend their sweetness on things that won't bare fruit. If he is a true Virgo he will be shy to tell you all about his feelings for you, that what we do!
you have to use your Capy-ness to your advantage. you look for things, with your go-geter attitude. You need security, and Virgo can provide that, only if you ask for it...not demand it. I admit, us Virgos are hard to deal with and maybe hard to "train" but we are "trainable" to adapt.
LDR are hard. If both of you don't have a purpose to have a LDR, and are not keeping busy and keeping in contact with each other then its gonna suck and your going to suffer a lot of hardships. Some make it, a lot of courage, hope, trust and of course love needs to be working.
"My question is do Virgo guys lead women on?" Virgo men usually don't led women on, just due to the fact that most of us virguys don't mind being led on. But sometimes we can be a push over, but if that topic is brought up, virgo will toughen up, but you have to let them know. They tend to hide a lot, and often times confrontations have them running for a cave. So its always advised that you bring it up a way a Virgo would do it. Logically, and in the form of a deep question with tons of detail.
"How do you know if they are really interested?" If he is sweet talking you every night, and spends the time with you, Virgos usually don't spend their sweetness on things that won't bare fruit. If he is a true Virgo he will be shy to tell you all about his feelings for you, that what we do!
you have to use your Capy-ness to your advantage. you look for things, with your go-geter attitude. You need security, and Virgo can provide that, only if you ask for it...not demand it. I admit, us Virgos are hard to deal with and maybe hard to "train" but we are "trainable" to adapt.LDR are hard. If both of you don't have a purpose to have a LDR, and are not keeping busy and keeping in contact with each other then its gonna suck and your going to suffer a lot of hardships. Some make it, a lot of courage, hope, trust and of course love needs to be working.
My question is do Virgo guys lead women on? How do you know if they are really interested?
Well, I'm a cap girl too and from my experience ... yes and no. Nope, they will lead you on in a heartbeat but you have to be able to see through whats real and what isn't.
You know they are interested if they stick with you without leaving for whatever reason
If they ever disappear on you, they it was never real from the start.
Well, I'm a cap girl too and from my experience ... yes and no. Nope, they will lead you on in a heartbeat but you have to be able to see through whats real and what isn't.
You know they are interested if they stick with you without leaving for whatever reason
If they ever disappear on you, they it was never real from the start.
This whole leading on thing ... I have to comment on.
Women are leading-men-on whores .. all the time.
Everytime a woman wiggles her butt at a guy because she thinks he's hot and she wants him to notice her feminine attributes, and she KNOWS that when she does this that he's going to have naughty thoughts running through his brain IS leading a man on.
What this woman in here is talking about is a man leading her on emotionally and this is upsetting to her .. yes, because she is female, so naturally, anything emotionally is going to be upsetting if rejection is involved ...... just because when a woman leads a man on physically isn't emotional, doesn't excuse the ignorance to it, and license to do it ... because a physical rejection to a man is equally as upsetting to him as an emotional one is to a woman.
And women do it all the time .. everywhere .... walking down the street wiggling butt, flirting with man in grocery store, giving out a phone number to get a man interested and then laughing behind his back about how much of a dork he was, lunching with a guy she has a crush on eventhough she has no intentions with him because she's got a boyfriend, hanging out with girls in a bar having a few drinks and dirty dancing with a man and just saying it's innocent because it's just dancing .... you FUCKING KNOW ... KNOW .... KNOW ... KNOW .. that this is leading a man on.
Women have absolutely no right to question this in a man, until she is mature enough to question herself, and her motives, when she gets a man hot and bothered, thinking he's going to score and then push him away.
Women are leading-men-on whores .. all the time.
Everytime a woman wiggles her butt at a guy because she thinks he's hot and she wants him to notice her feminine attributes, and she KNOWS that when she does this that he's going to have naughty thoughts running through his brain IS leading a man on.
What this woman in here is talking about is a man leading her on emotionally and this is upsetting to her .. yes, because she is female, so naturally, anything emotionally is going to be upsetting if rejection is involved ...... just because when a woman leads a man on physically isn't emotional, doesn't excuse the ignorance to it, and license to do it ... because a physical rejection to a man is equally as upsetting to him as an emotional one is to a woman.
And women do it all the time .. everywhere .... walking down the street wiggling butt, flirting with man in grocery store, giving out a phone number to get a man interested and then laughing behind his back about how much of a dork he was, lunching with a guy she has a crush on eventhough she has no intentions with him because she's got a boyfriend, hanging out with girls in a bar having a few drinks and dirty dancing with a man and just saying it's innocent because it's just dancing .... you FUCKING KNOW ... KNOW .... KNOW ... KNOW .. that this is leading a man on.
Women have absolutely no right to question this in a man, until she is mature enough to question herself, and her motives, when she gets a man hot and bothered, thinking he's going to score and then push him away.
"Like I said things will be going good and then all of a sudden dispite all the sweet talk and long nights on the phone he'll do something to screw it up."
To comment specifically on this ^^^^ .... he's screws it up?
Long nights on phone of sweet talk, and then suddenly, he will screw it up .. the way you word that, it leaves the impression that this isn't a one time thing. A pattern has been formed ..
Everything is fine, then suddenly you get upset, eventhough his talk is sweet ... perhaps, your expectations are too high, demanding.
If this has been going on for a while, and you've never been the one to screw up, and he always seems to be the one screwing up when he's spending long nights on phone being sweet to you .... then it would be concluded that you hold yourself higher than him on the pedalstool.
He just always manages to screw up ... sounds like you have him very low, and his job if he wants you, is to work very hard to be able to rise to your level of superiority.
Instead of looking at this like his needs, wants, personality, values, standards, desires, goals, etc are different .. you look at it as if he has messed up in providing to you what you want.
Everything is fine, and suddendly out of nowhere .. he fucks it up. Yet, I'll bet you, you keep talking to him .. attempting to get him to get it right in providing for you what you want, eventhough he keeps fucking up.
That ^^^ isn't an intentin on your part to develop a relationship. It's an intention on your part to train a pet.
fyi Cappywife: Virgo's are NOT Aries .. if you want a man to whom is going to play, then I suggest you hook up with another Aries.
To comment specifically on this ^^^^ .... he's screws it up?
Long nights on phone of sweet talk, and then suddenly, he will screw it up .. the way you word that, it leaves the impression that this isn't a one time thing. A pattern has been formed ..
Everything is fine, then suddenly you get upset, eventhough his talk is sweet ... perhaps, your expectations are too high, demanding.
If this has been going on for a while, and you've never been the one to screw up, and he always seems to be the one screwing up when he's spending long nights on phone being sweet to you .... then it would be concluded that you hold yourself higher than him on the pedalstool.
He just always manages to screw up ... sounds like you have him very low, and his job if he wants you, is to work very hard to be able to rise to your level of superiority.
Instead of looking at this like his needs, wants, personality, values, standards, desires, goals, etc are different .. you look at it as if he has messed up in providing to you what you want.
Everything is fine, and suddendly out of nowhere .. he fucks it up. Yet, I'll bet you, you keep talking to him .. attempting to get him to get it right in providing for you what you want, eventhough he keeps fucking up.
That ^^^ isn't an intentin on your part to develop a relationship. It's an intention on your part to train a pet.
fyi Cappywife: Virgo's are NOT Aries .. if you want a man to whom is going to play, then I suggest you hook up with another Aries.
I don't have anything against Aries, I love Rams, in fact.
You have to admit though ... they love to play for attention.
this is the nature of the beast
In this situation, Capywife, is/was the wife of a Ram, in which the two of them played each others feelings to the point of bitter contempt for each other. He was a willing participant, as was she (until she couldn't play anylonger and bounced, or maybe he's the one who bounced on her, idk) .... anyway, this is why my words about Aries in is place with this particular thread.
Those two has a power struggle going on with each other, and they both put themselves on a pedalstool and expected the other to adhere to them, rather than find a common ground for compatibility and harmony. This is her experience with men.
Ok, so people can evolve/grow ... however, when I read this thread and the impression was left on me that she has herself on a pedalstool again and is expecting of this Virgo to make right by her .. then my thoughts soon reverted back to her history with Aries man, because this is the same sort of thing she would say about him.
So, I said ... "Virgo's are NOT Aries .. if you want a man to whom is going to play, then I suggest you hook up with another Aries."
My beautiful granddaughter is a lovely Ram, and I wouldn't trade her in for the whole world, Ardent.
You have to admit though ... they love to play for attention.
this is the nature of the beast
In this situation, Capywife, is/was the wife of a Ram, in which the two of them played each others feelings to the point of bitter contempt for each other. He was a willing participant, as was she (until she couldn't play anylonger and bounced, or maybe he's the one who bounced on her, idk) .... anyway, this is why my words about Aries in is place with this particular thread.
Those two has a power struggle going on with each other, and they both put themselves on a pedalstool and expected the other to adhere to them, rather than find a common ground for compatibility and harmony. This is her experience with men.
Ok, so people can evolve/grow ... however, when I read this thread and the impression was left on me that she has herself on a pedalstool again and is expecting of this Virgo to make right by her .. then my thoughts soon reverted back to her history with Aries man, because this is the same sort of thing she would say about him.
So, I said ... "Virgo's are NOT Aries .. if you want a man to whom is going to play, then I suggest you hook up with another Aries."
My beautiful granddaughter is a lovely Ram, and I wouldn't trade her in for the whole world, Ardent.
Capy if your virg is doing all of those nice things because he wants to and not because you are exerting some form of pressure on him ( either overt or subtle ) then I wouldn't worry too much about him screwing it up once in a while, it doesn't mean that his feelings have changed for you, boys will always be boys and we are all humans who make mistakes.
unless you expect a 100% flawless interaction ( which is impossible, little birdie tells me ) you two will sometimes fail to live to the other one's expectations, so my advice is to review your expectations and sort the weat from the fluff
as a virg i have had my moments of screwing up, in my case i was lucky enough that my girl was tolerent enough of these gaffs that i started realising later how much of a fool i was, and have been appologising/making up for it ever since.
try overlooking some of his screw ups and evetually he will realise them himself and starts worshipping you, a decent virg can be moved to his core by such acts.
when me and my girl started out i did so many things that hurt her physically and emotionally but she kept a smile at all times, only later she would tell me and the admiration i had for her became stronger and stronger.
just to be clear this is not an invitation to tolerate abuse ... use judgement and stand up for yourself
unless you expect a 100% flawless interaction ( which is impossible, little birdie tells me ) you two will sometimes fail to live to the other one's expectations, so my advice is to review your expectations and sort the weat from the fluff
as a virg i have had my moments of screwing up, in my case i was lucky enough that my girl was tolerent enough of these gaffs that i started realising later how much of a fool i was, and have been appologising/making up for it ever since.
try overlooking some of his screw ups and evetually he will realise them himself and starts worshipping you, a decent virg can be moved to his core by such acts.
when me and my girl started out i did so many things that hurt her physically and emotionally but she kept a smile at all times, only later she would tell me and the admiration i had for her became stronger and stronger.
just to be clear this is not an invitation to tolerate abuse ... use judgement and stand up for yourself
Sorry to disappointing you but long distance relationship is no good at all you both going to suffer from it.
Capy, 11 yrs is a longgggg time..i assume u have him as a back-up. i understand where ur coming from, i have been dealing with one for 2 yrs also long distance. very sweet, long talks, kept mentioning committment. when i agreed, he got scared i guess, as has been backing off. stopped calling,now after 4 mos, sent me an email, expressing some feelings, i dont know what he wants, but i will tell u one thing, even tho he is worth it,(excuse me espression) he better shit or get off the pot lol. its not fair to me, anyone of us waiting on the sidelines for them to decide. my advice, dont give him an ultimatum, ask him what he wants, to see if ur both on the same page. that it what i will do if mine comes back. then u decide. dont let them think ur waiting for them!! when u give them a taste of their own medicine, and step back alittle, this will make him think and hopefully react and that applies to ALL men, not only virgos..Good Luck!!
No ultimatums would just make him go further away but I agree with the "same page" thing most definitely and am taking my own advice tomorrow.
Women shouldnt wait around at all, no, no, no...but you shouldnt have to wonder either. OK Virgos are slow but from what I can gather, once you point something out to them clearly they will look at it and analyze....sometimes we just dont see our own bad points and IM not saying that Virgos have bad points LOL....just that it can be EXTREMELY slow going and you really need to know if you are on the "same page" for sure.
I dread it tomorrow but I cant go back on it now - set the wheels in motion and mine even knows what we'll be discussing...probably a negative but there you go. He'll no doubt give me the "im not ready for any more than what we've been doing" and "this is the first time Ive been alone since I was in high school and Im finding out who I am" and all those things which is fair enough but
Women shouldnt have to do all the work when it was the guy who did the intial chasing in the first place....I say 50/50 is fair and I aint even a Libra hahaha.
Step back? for sure, but Ive also tried that one.....they dont get it, they think everythings ok because you're giving them more time to hang out with the boys LOL.
There is no set rule but whatever works for you and whatever you think is right for you is what you should probably listen to....listen to your head, not only your heart.
I waited a year for a guy, tried to break it off with him 4 times because we were going nowhere....somehow he kept luring me back just to go through it again....at 12 months I asked him again...he said "Im not ready for a relationship"....then WTF was it? Men can be so blind, they can be so dumb (love them to bits though LOL) and sometimes they just need to be told where you're coming from so they can either digest it and come to terms with their own feelings or let you go so you can find what you deserve with somebody who will give you that freely.
Sitting on the fence has never been my strong point but then again, Im a Leo who knows what she wants and I for one am not going to sit back and wait for those stupid 3 months or the 6 months or 9 months just to find myself feeling things all by myself and be told "Im not ready".
Nup, Ive done some soul searching since the last guy. Hope that helps, it sure helps me with a bit of venting.
Women shouldnt wait around at all, no, no, no...but you shouldnt have to wonder either. OK Virgos are slow but from what I can gather, once you point something out to them clearly they will look at it and analyze....sometimes we just dont see our own bad points and IM not saying that Virgos have bad points LOL....just that it can be EXTREMELY slow going and you really need to know if you are on the "same page" for sure.
I dread it tomorrow but I cant go back on it now - set the wheels in motion and mine even knows what we'll be discussing...probably a negative but there you go. He'll no doubt give me the "im not ready for any more than what we've been doing" and "this is the first time Ive been alone since I was in high school and Im finding out who I am" and all those things which is fair enough but
Women shouldnt have to do all the work when it was the guy who did the intial chasing in the first place....I say 50/50 is fair and I aint even a Libra hahaha.
Step back? for sure, but Ive also tried that one.....they dont get it, they think everythings ok because you're giving them more time to hang out with the boys LOL.
There is no set rule but whatever works for you and whatever you think is right for you is what you should probably listen to....listen to your head, not only your heart.
I waited a year for a guy, tried to break it off with him 4 times because we were going nowhere....somehow he kept luring me back just to go through it again....at 12 months I asked him again...he said "Im not ready for a relationship"....then WTF was it? Men can be so blind, they can be so dumb (love them to bits though LOL) and sometimes they just need to be told where you're coming from so they can either digest it and come to terms with their own feelings or let you go so you can find what you deserve with somebody who will give you that freely.
Sitting on the fence has never been my strong point but then again, Im a Leo who knows what she wants and I for one am not going to sit back and wait for those stupid 3 months or the 6 months or 9 months just to find myself feeling things all by myself and be told "Im not ready".
Nup, Ive done some soul searching since the last guy. Hope that helps, it sure helps me with a bit of venting.
Chatz, your on the right track.besides its ok to be single, enjoy it if thats the outcome. no worries about relationships for awhile.. i hope it works out with ur guy, remember be strong. once u make a decision, dont go back, it only shows them weakness. i agree with u also. i think im going to just be upfront with him. im a cap and sometimes its hard for me, u being a leo have no problem. but i am learning from my mistakes, its about time lol..we cant control their actions, only our own. men like a challenge, i wont chase him even if he backs off..let them come to us, life is too short to be waiting around..good luck
furry i havent been with anyone in 4 mos, not b/c i have been waiting for him. i know he sounds like he isnt worth it, but i do think the distance scared him a bit. i do feel he was sincere when he expessed how he felt, and started to back off trying to analyze the situation. at least that is what i have read about virgo men, if they have feelings but arent ready, for whatever reason they pull away. maybe he felt insecure, because he wasnt financially ready. I am not a materialistic woman, of course we all like nice things but that isnt a priority for me. I do need a man for that.or maybe he wasnt ready to settle and wanted his freedom, i dont know. he has contacted me again, i will take it slow, b/c i dont know where is he coming from but if he does mention us getting together again, i wont hold back this time. i need to know.
furry oops i read wrong..yes i thought about that as well, that he was dating someone else, and being that we live so far apart, he werent able to date. which has been an obstacle. i know that had we lived closer i would have either been with him or not by now.
OMG you are a strong woman doing the long distance thing. I would seriously go out of my mind. I wish you well though, maybe you're right, he might be doing that great analyzing thing. Problem is, I dont think they realise (if they are doing that), that they could very well lose the thing they're analyzing about *shrugs*
very true Chatz
Okay ... now I need advice on a virgo male ... virgo-libra cusp actually.
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