need help with a Virgo man please!

This topic was created in the Virgo forum by taureanmama on Monday, December 17, 2012 and has 22 replies.
I met a Virgo man a few months ago and we mutually flirted around until I (I'm a Taurus by the way) asked him to hang out. He invited me to his place and we got along so well that he invited me back over the next day. We did kiss that next day. When he got back we hung out about 4 more times. We only kissed again one of those times and then he stopped making any moves. We would hang out all day talking and getting to know each other and it was really effortless. On the 6th time we were hanging out I asked about intimacy between us because he had stopped trying. He said he only wanted to be friends with me. I said ok, I need to go and he kinda freaked out asking me to stay and then he invited me over again saying he really wanted me in his life still. So I told him ok and over the weekend I contacted him saying let's meet next week like we talked about it and he ignored my message and I haven't heard from him since. I don't get it. At all. Things were really good, we got along great, then I got the let's just be friend's speech and then he panicked and acted like he needed me in his life still and is now ignoring me. So, I really really like him and am just wondering what the heck this all means? I do have to see him every day so this ignoring me makes things very uncomfortable in more ways then one. Any advice? suggestions? thank you so much!
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I wouldn't wait around for him. Get on with life. But IF down the road, you are still available, and he comes back around possibly wanting more, then try again...but slowly. They can be so indecisive and fickle it makes your head spin.
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Posted by taureanmama
He said he only wanted to be friends with me. I said ok, I need to go ....




Why did you say you had to go?
So, if he doesn't give to you exactly what you expect, then you are going to walk .. and then have the audacity to bitch because he is ignoring you?
And you think you are so it, that you say he panicked? Panicked in what? Losing you because you are all there is?

The Virgo is an insecure lover ... very fucking insecure about his value in the life of a potential partner, so instead of trying to understand what is going on with him, you cope a fucking attitude?
That makes you so not it .... that you're not even worth a second thought. Get used to being ignored .. because that is what you deserve.
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Thank you capbaby..that is what I am doing, more then anything just sad to lose a good friend. I was excited about possibly being more then that, especially because we started out with him saying he wanted that with me but I guess things changed along the way. P-angel..I would never describe myself as all that. Ever. I needed to go in that moment because my feelings were hurt and I needed to process what just happened. I gave him hug and told him that we would of course be friends and that yes I would come over still and hang out with him. My initial reaction was to leave but I stayed and we hugged for a long time and I said I was still going to be in his life. It is him who is now ignoring and I suppose not someone who is a man of his word. I hope you find peace with whatever it is that makes you so mean and angry.
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Posted by taureanmama
I hope you find peace with whatever it is that makes you so mean and angry.




Just because I dare to tell you the truth, doesn't make me mean or angry .... what that response boils down to is that you didn't want to hear anything except what agrees with you.
And my assessment was accurate, whether you choose to believe it or not.
The two of you hung out, getting into each other, and then the inherently intimately insecure Virgo male freezes up a bit because he doesn't know how to proceed, so tells you he wants to be friends with you ... and you react by insinuating you'd rather leave then. By you doing that, you gave him the signal that you don't want him.
so, you deserve to be ignored because that is the sign you gave him .... the sign said, leave me alone.

That fact that YOU can't handle the truth, isn't my fucking problem ... it's your ignorance problem in that you will only allow yourself to hear lies so that your heart can be comforted in believing you're innocent and he's fucked up.
I'm not going to do that ... go to mommy if you want that, she'll lie to you.
Truth: by virtue of YOUR reaction when he froze due to being insecure made your bed .. so now since you made it, you deserve to lay in it.
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And what do you suggest the OP had done instead? Isn't it futile to hope for a relationship after one person drops the 'we're just friends' card?
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If a woman plans on dating a male Virgo, or wanting to be in a relationship with a male Virgo ... then what they should do is attempt to understand them first.
This guy doesn't want to be her friend, he wants to be her boyfriend ... but, she is so into herself, that she can't get past her own fucking ego to get that.
What she should have done BEFORE she ever attempted to be with him .. was to understand the male Virgo.

she didn't care to .. the only thing she cared to do was look at her own feelings
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Posted by taureanmama
... we got along so well that he invited
We did kiss that next day.
We would hang out all day talking and getting to know each other and it was really effortless.



This isn't a guy who wants to be friends. But, women can't get past their own fucking feelings to even be aware of other people around them.
Posted by taureanmama
We only kissed again one of those times and then he stopped making any moves.

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What we see here is exactly what I am telling you .... he stopped because by virtue of being a male Virgo, he is intimately insecure. Do you all even read what we tell you in here?
YOU HAVE TO LEAD THE VIRGO .. we say it all the time, do you think we just randomly pull this shit out of our ass?
She could have made a move, but, no .... she waits on him, eventhough we've said a million times that you have to lead the fucking Virgo.
What part of that don't you get?


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Posted by taureanmama
On the 6th time we were hanging out I asked about intimacy between us because he had stopped trying.



Hello !!!!! Are you in there?
I'll say it again, this time take your fingers out of your ears ...... THE MALE VIRGO HAS TO BE LEAD. HE WILL NOT INITIATE. again .... HE WILL NOT INITIATE.
YOU have to initiate ....
then after you gave him the signal to indicate to him that you do you NOT want to be with him, he .....
Posted by taureanmama
.... he invited me over again saying he really wanted me in his life still.

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.. which means he wanted to be with you.
But, you, like all the woman who won't fucking listen ..... sit there with your thumbs up your ass waiting for the male Virgo to be assertive intimately .. and he won't be.

If you can't charge .... then stfu about your bleeding heart. Because it's your own damn fault you can't get the man, because you aren't taking the man for what he is, and instead, you are expecting him to valiantly swoop down like some fairy tale romance hero .... fuck
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Posted by P-Angel
Posted by taureanmama
He said he only wanted to be friends with me. I said ok, I need to go ....




The Virgo is an insecure lover ... very fucking insecure about his value in the life of a potential partner, so instead of trying to understand what is going on with him, you cope a fucking attitude?
That makes you so not it .... that you're not even worth a second thought. Get used to being ignored .. because that is what you deserve.

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ITA..they can very insecure. Mine is and shows it. Always making references that I am looking else where, afraid I will leave him, etc etc. even though I have never given him reason to believe such things. YET, HE has no problem 'walking away', telling me he's leaving me, etc etc when he's mad..
and you know how i respond? I tell him I love him and let him go if he chooses. He doesn't. He may one day, who knows, but that isn't a virgo thing, that would be a man thing.
Listen to the song.."the Mirror' by kid rock..thats how i feel being in love with a virgo who is 50 shades of fucked up.
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Posted by P-Angel
Posted by taureanmama
On the 6th time we were hanging out I asked about intimacy between us because he had stopped trying.



Hello !!!!! Are you in there?
I'll say it again, this time take your fingers out of your ears ...... THE MALE VIRGO HAS TO BE LEAD. HE WILL NOT INITIATE. again .... HE WILL NOT INITIATE.
YOU have to initiate ....
then after you gave him the signal to indicate to him that you do you NOT want to be with him, he .....
Posted by taureanmama
.... he invited me over again saying he really wanted me in his life still.




.. which means he wanted to be with you.
But, you, like all the woman who won't fucking listen ..... sit there with your thumbs up your ass waiting for the male Virgo to be assertive intimately .. and he won't be.

If you can't charge .... then stfu about your bleeding heart. Because it's your own damn fault you can't get the man, because you aren't taking the man for what he is, and instead, you are expecting him to valiantly swoop down like some fairy tale romance hero .... fuck
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ITA!!! My virgo rarely initiates sex, kisses, hugs...any physical affection. And sex to him is purely physical act. Its not romantic, sensual, touching..its not how he shows love.
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Can't say I agree with capbaby or p-angel about Virgos being insecure lovers, Im the complete opposite, I follow my heart and go for it without looking back, every single time. I honestly have to laugh at these stories, cause besides myself I have met lots of other Virgos who are definitely not insecure in the love department.
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Posted by msmarilynmanson
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Can't say I agree with capbaby or p-angel about Virgos being insecure lovers, Im the complete opposite, I follow my heart and go for it without looking back, every single time. I honestly have to laugh at these stories, cause besides myself I have met lots of other Virgos who are definitely not insecure in the love department.


hmmm after my virgo made love slow passionate love to me for the first time and looked deep into my eyes for hours he told me three things. you are the best i ever had. i am not good enough for you and can i be your sex slave. haha please explain ha
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I dont know, I guess I cant explain that because I am not a low confidence Virgo myself, if anything I know that Im damn good in bed (my last two girlfriends have told me I was their best sex ever, a Sag and a Cap. Regardless I already knew I was good though)
Having said that, there definitely is a special spark between Virgo males and Cap females, sexually and spiritually.
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I agree somewhat with the leading a Virgo. I was seeing a Virgo for 2 months and most of the time I initiated contact with him and he was more than happy to follow my lead. He would always respond and then we would have wonderful conversations. He lives out of state and so we didn't get to see much of one another, but he did romantic things like have me come to visit him and also visit me. I took the initiative to invite him to my holiday party, and he gladly said yes and told me numerous times how much he was looking forward to coming.
Then the week of the party he stopped talking to me. Even when I nicely contacted him to tell him the details of the party, he didn't respond and we have not spoken in 2 weeks. He has had to cancel on our plans due to his work and travel, but he always told me beforehand. This time, he didn't respond and didn't show up to my party. I guess that I should just take it as he wasn't that interested, but I found it so out of his character to just ignore me and stop talking to me, especially after he said that he couldn't wait to see me just days beforehand.
Right now, I am not contacting him because I am not a pushy person, but I really do miss him and up until 2 weeks ago it seemed as if everything was developing (slowly as it is with Virgos) nicely. Any advice or insight?
BTW- I met his friends and family and I know that he is not secretly married, nor does he have another girlfriend. I've had bad experiences in the past so I was sure to do my homework since he splits his time between 2 cities.
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Posted by msmarilynmanson
however im a cap and god forbid i posted on the cap board officially causing a riot to the tune of 560 posts accusing me of posing as a cancer
you all really have to see it to beleive it.





I have enough faith in M, lildol and Inana to respect their judgement. If they say you are CG, then you are.
So, don't attempt to come to another thread and act like you're innocent ... especially not to me.
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" He said he only wanted to be friends with me."
Move on, he's not that into you, anytime a woman has to initiate the whole damn relationship it's not a good relationship and she's basically enabling lazy behavior b/c she's playing the male role thus she never really understands/know if she's adored by her man, she's stuck guessing, basically doing all the work, his and hers, some women may feel that's better than nothing but if you have an ounce of self worth then you know you can do better.
Anytime a man friend zones a woman he's not that into her romantically but that doesn't mean he's not into you sexually and that doesn't mean he doesn't want your company, doesn't want your time, your energy, your fun personality, maybe even your sex but that doesn't lead a man into commitment, he's just taking what's available until something better show up, no man wants to lose a great woman, no one person wants to lose a great friend or what could potentially be a great friendship, a woman with great friendly qualities is the best friend a man can have, she has his back, she's fun/funny and she's dependable but if you're looking for love, if your goal is to experience love with a man then move on, don't waste your time.
The only time I suggest a woman be in a friend zone situation is when she only feels friendly feelings as well but if you feel romantic feelings then don't waste your energy being his friend, give him some space and let him do his part, don't sell yourself short with being the whole relationship, if you want love then don't be his friend, don't mentally/emotionally torture yourself like that. You're worth the effort and if a man doesn't feel you're worth the effort then leave, don't sit around wondering what happened when he's the problem, next.
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I know a few Virgo males and they all are picky, very precise and systemic with what kind of qualities turn them on, they all have lot's of female friends but they all are looking for a certain type of woman, I asked him to run down the list and it was a long list chalked full of great qualities that cannot be found IMHO just one woman but they all have their minds set on what they want and won't settle.
My point being is don't settle, your Virgo already know what he wants, he already has an idea of the kind of woman he wants to be with romantically so if he cools down on you then move on, and you can believe he's back out there looking for THE ONE, the one that possess all of these unique, classy, one of a kind qualities.
If a woman is leading a male virgo then she's settling, her virgo has checked out on her and he's settling for her b/c she's okay, friendly and available so he refuse to put much effort into her b/c he's still looking for his one and when he finds her he's going to be gone, he won't be lazy with his ONE, he won't allow her to lead, he'll be doing the leading, leading her right into love and leading her into a commitment b/c he's found his one. Won't be hard to leave a woman that is doing all of the relationship work, he's invested NOTHING so he can walk away, she on the other hand will not let go easily, she's 100% invested and when a woman is doing all of the work she's not going to understand why her man chose another woman over her, friend zoned her.
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totally agree with tiki.
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I agree with everything Tiki said. I'm a Virgo myself and I somehow know what kind of girl I like. I like those girls who could surprise me in the most candid moments of everyday life. I am somehow drawn to the carefree type. I've had many relationships in the past. Usually, it's the girl who leads. I am almost always unsure with every relationship I've entered into. I think the reason for that is the perfectionistic taste I have. Whenever I see something I don't like, I usually turn away and... umm... find a way out. I only had one, just one, girlfriend in the past. All the rest were girls who tried if they can have me as their boyfriend but they eventually failed. The only girlfriend I ever had was the most persistent type. She's a Scorpio. Usually, it's the scorpios who are most persistent, who tried a lot of different varied ways, etc., so she was the only one.
It is really very hard to find a partner if you're a Virgo male. I hardly ever settled... but I'm already 25 so I'm re-assessing myself and my "Love Plan." I am mostly drawn to positive signs (Aries, Gemini, Leo, etc.). I don't know why. They seem to have this weird attraction to me. Here are some of the girls I am mostly attracted to:
1. Sagittarius girl
2. Aquarius girl
3. Leo girl
These are the three girls that remain in my heart. They're all taken, however. I must move forward and look for others. Perhaps an earth sign girl will do.
miss marilynmanson, you seem funny, one quality I am looking for in a girl... smile
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Posted by tiki33
I know a few Virgo males and they all are picky, very precise and systemic with what kind of qualities turn them on, they all have lot's of female friends but they all are looking for a certain type of woman, I asked him to run down the list and it was a long list chalked full of great qualities that cannot be found IMHO just one woman but they all have their minds set on what they want and won't settle.
My point being is don't settle, your Virgo already know what he wants, he already has an idea of the kind of woman he wants to be with romantically so if he cools down on you then move on, and you can believe he's back out there looking for THE ONE, the one that possess all of these unique, classy, one of a kind qualities.
If a woman is leading a male virgo then she's settling, her virgo has checked out on her and he's settling for her b/c she's okay, friendly and available so he refuse to put much effort into her b/c he's still looking for his one and when he finds her he's going to be gone, he won't be lazy with his ONE, he won't allow her to lead, he'll be doing the leading, leading her right into love and leading her into a commitment b/c he's found his one. Won't be hard to leave a woman that is doing all of the relationship work, he's invested NOTHING so he can walk away, she on the other hand will not let go easily, she's 100% invested and when a woman is doing all of the work she's not going to understand why her man chose another woman over her, friend zoned her.


I totally agree with this as well. The best part is you told the truth without being bitchy about it! I'm so sick of everyone saying how you have to be so this and so that with Virgo! Women get a man who is not all that trouble! I would have jetted too if a man says "let's just be friends" when I had hoped for more. It's her right to do that just as it was his to decide he wanted nothing more. If he's slow and has to take years to make up his mind the woman should just accept that? Bull! Let him go if he's ignoring--they tell you that you are missing out because you wanted to jet. No he's missing out because his slow ass has to be spoonfed. Be his friend but take some time to get over wanting more with him. If you don't he will suck you right back in with empty promises...
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Posted by msmarilynmanson
YOU HAVE TO LEAD THE VIRGO .. we say it all the time, do you think we just randomly pull this butter out of our ass?
She could have made a move, but, no .... she waits on him, eventhough we've said a million times that you have to lead the treetrunking Virgo.
What part of that don't you get?

he's still looking for his one and when he finds her he's going to be gone, he won't be lazy with his ONE, he won't allow her to lead, he'll be doing the leading, leading her right into love and leading her into a commitment b/c he's found his one.

This is completely contradictory. Is that each of you have had a different experience or Virgo men can come in two extremes? Please shed some light on this?


Very true..to a point. My virgo fiance will LEAD now. He wants to 'rule the roost' and I let him..its a male thing. However, that does not mean I have no say. I am a CAP and we stand our ground too when needed.
My virgo fiance is 50 shades of messed up.(he's in his 50's) So many women have left him over the years. Me, I stand my ground, accept what is, what has been..the good, the bad, and the ugly. I have learned to love and accept all parts of him. That is what wins you the virgo heart.
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I always wonder about capbaby, I think this is the very first time she posts something slightly positive about her Virgo. Maybe thats why things didnt work out with my cap ex, cause she was too negative all the time and would never reassure the positive. Its certainly a lesson caps need to learn.
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