Ok, Virgo Men.....Please respond.
What does a women do or not do to make you want them for a relationship and not just a friendship. If you are friends w...
This topic was created in the Virgo forum by sweethearts_1969 on Wednesday, December 6, 2006 and has 105 replies.
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thanks mystical i have written to him kept it light and friendly saying i think we crossed that line and that although we probably cant go back to being friends in person if he ever just wants to talk then im here for him. I still have to see him again cos we still have to work together but that wont be till about may cant see us ever being the same though
You're welcome woodsnake. Things will work out the way they are suppose to. If there is one thing I've learnt in life is you can never force anything. In my own case, I was being a blind fool regarding the Virgo guy. However, never again. I was a fool because I wanted him to see that in fact he is a good person, which he is. Unfortunately, no matter what I do/did, he has to see that first and nothing I do or say will change that. You see, if I care about a person, I will stick by them through thick and thin no matter how much heartache I have to go through. So I stuck by this Virgo guy and he in turn told me he's no good for me. I was like "What?". I couldn't believe it. However, he's right. He was being realistic and I was just blinded. He's taught me so many lessons. When I look back on it now, I realize why he was placed in my life.
Good for you to keep it friendly and light. That's the way to go. Now if I miss a call by the Virgo guy, I send a very short text message a few days later (before I'd only wait an hour) saying I saw he called and that he should continue to have a great day. This is completely different than the way I was before.
So what you and he have crossed the line. Of course, you still can be friends. I know some people might not agree with that, but I still think it's possible, as long as the two people involved are willing to work on it. Very good that you assured him that he can talk to you and you'll be there for him. Guess what? I did the same regarding the Virgo guy in my case also. However, I had to distance myself from him. He has a lot of issues going on (like alcohol and girls) but he'll always have a friend in me. He'll just have to be the one to stay in contact with me. Time will tell what he'll do.
When you say you can't see the two of you being together never put the cart before the horse. Meaning never say never. Virgos have a way of surprising you when you least expect it.
Good for you to keep it friendly and light. That's the way to go. Now if I miss a call by the Virgo guy, I send a very short text message a few days later (before I'd only wait an hour) saying I saw he called and that he should continue to have a great day. This is completely different than the way I was before.
So what you and he have crossed the line. Of course, you still can be friends. I know some people might not agree with that, but I still think it's possible, as long as the two people involved are willing to work on it. Very good that you assured him that he can talk to you and you'll be there for him. Guess what? I did the same regarding the Virgo guy in my case also. However, I had to distance myself from him. He has a lot of issues going on (like alcohol and girls) but he'll always have a friend in me. He'll just have to be the one to stay in contact with me. Time will tell what he'll do.
When you say you can't see the two of you being together never put the cart before the horse. Meaning never say never. Virgos have a way of surprising you when you least expect it.
Oh god dont say that mystic iv had enough surprises this year to last me a life time!!!!
seriously i would love us to be friends again,just seems hard at the moment when i have feelings still. I think the worst part for me was and probably still is is not knowing how he really felt. I know he dropped me a couple of heavy texts in the summer saying all he wanted was to be with me and it was hard for him too and he loved me to bits. My husband found these and you can imagine things got nasty i told my husband that nothing had happened and he said those texts arent about him wanting to get me in bed but undying love(there were more texts just dont wanna bore you with them all) he has a gf not sure its that serious but i know i played with fire and i got really hurt so did my husband i just dont know about virgo .........last time i text him before he went away he said it was for best we didnt talk WHY??????????????????? is that me being selfish?
seriously i would love us to be friends again,just seems hard at the moment when i have feelings still. I think the worst part for me was and probably still is is not knowing how he really felt. I know he dropped me a couple of heavy texts in the summer saying all he wanted was to be with me and it was hard for him too and he loved me to bits. My husband found these and you can imagine things got nasty i told my husband that nothing had happened and he said those texts arent about him wanting to get me in bed but undying love(there were more texts just dont wanna bore you with them all) he has a gf not sure its that serious but i know i played with fire and i got really hurt so did my husband i just dont know about virgo .........last time i text him before he went away he said it was for best we didnt talk WHY??????????????????? is that me being selfish?
Well, woodsnake, life is full of surprises. I, too, have had enough surprises this year alone. However, from every surprise, I've learnt something. Not always did I like what was happening, but in the end it was worth it. Although at the time, I didn't see it that way.
Yeah, Virgo guys can be compassionate when they are in love. I was told so many pretty lines by the Virgo guy. At the time, I thought he was nuts. Then when he did the pulling away thing, well, that just through me for a loop. I wasn't prepared for it. At the time I felt like he truly understood me like no one else before. Instead, I got more and more confused about where things were going. Now, I know I'm his friend (I guess) as I couldn't handle to date him. I thought I could at one time, but in reality I couldn't.
As for you husband. I thought I had read you have been happily apart for 7 months. I'm sorry if I misunderstood. Well, you must keep in consideration your husband's feelings. I can understand your husband being hurt that another guy is sending you love text messages. Communication is key. Try and talk to your husband and work things out, if that is what you want to do.
Regarding Virgo guy. No, you are not being selfish for wanting to talk to him. However, he is right saying the two of you shouldn't talk. Virgo guy has feelings for you and you for him. In my opinion, I think Virgo guy thinks if he stays in regular contact with you, it will hurt too much, so he would rather walk away. He is respecting the fact that you are married. However, I do think somewhere down the line, you will hear from Virgo guy again. He's just analyzing the situation and figuring out what to do in his own head. Let him be.
Yeah, Virgo guys can be compassionate when they are in love. I was told so many pretty lines by the Virgo guy. At the time, I thought he was nuts. Then when he did the pulling away thing, well, that just through me for a loop. I wasn't prepared for it. At the time I felt like he truly understood me like no one else before. Instead, I got more and more confused about where things were going. Now, I know I'm his friend (I guess) as I couldn't handle to date him. I thought I could at one time, but in reality I couldn't.
As for you husband. I thought I had read you have been happily apart for 7 months. I'm sorry if I misunderstood. Well, you must keep in consideration your husband's feelings. I can understand your husband being hurt that another guy is sending you love text messages. Communication is key. Try and talk to your husband and work things out, if that is what you want to do.
Regarding Virgo guy. No, you are not being selfish for wanting to talk to him. However, he is right saying the two of you shouldn't talk. Virgo guy has feelings for you and you for him. In my opinion, I think Virgo guy thinks if he stays in regular contact with you, it will hurt too much, so he would rather walk away. He is respecting the fact that you are married. However, I do think somewhere down the line, you will hear from Virgo guy again. He's just analyzing the situation and figuring out what to do in his own head. Let him be.
Hi - you are all wonderful, thanks for your words of encouragement and support... our stories are all so similar if not the same... don't you find that amazing? I mean how can all these different men, around the world, act the same -- all becuz they are Virgo? Weird!!!
Roxi -- i can't go looking hot (i mean i would) but he is going to a football game, it is sold out, i don't have ticket... not sure where he'll go after, well have an idea, but don't want to go chasing after.... i think i will take all your advice and NOT TXT him on Thurs...
Even tho it will be extremely difficult becuz my H is out of town Thur - Sun and i know HE is in town at least Thur, Fri... don't know if longer... But still he knows my number, he can call me...
But yes, that is my story, i do feel bad, but didn't intend for this to happen... 14 months ago i was out with friend at bar, he asked me to dance, we were both drunk, we kissed, he took me to his hotel room (he lives out of town), we didn't have sex, but did have fabulous kissing and "practicing", talked next day, saw him sunday before he left, then we txted each other and then emailed each other EVERY DAY for next 3 months (mon-friday at least, with drunk phone calls or txts from me to him sometimes on a sat night)... we did see each other twice in first four months... after 3 months he said, this is an addiction i gotta stop it... he didn't... but then it was.... i only had one night stands before never felt like it was cheating, now its different, we gotta cool things down.... which i did a little, but it was SO HARD.... then when i continued to push to see him or txt or call, he would say your calling me too much, then we didn't talk for month, then started talking again, then he was like we can't go back to that 'tomfoolery' HA! .... then i pushed to go to concert with at end of May, then he ends it, don't talk all summer, see him at end of summer, then at concert in Nov where he says if you see me you don't know me... but then he spends whole concert with me...... AHHHHHHH!!! I'm going crazy... now when i pushed to go to game.. he gets all mad and says don't bug me, could care less if see you..... SO HURTFUL!! Anyway, after telling him off and saying FU last monday, i sent him nice email last friday... no word, but think thats good sign... now i am going to NOT txt him and see if he contacts me..... I hope I stay strong... and I hope he does -- isn't that pathetic????
Roxi -- i can't go looking hot (i mean i would) but he is going to a football game, it is sold out, i don't have ticket... not sure where he'll go after, well have an idea, but don't want to go chasing after.... i think i will take all your advice and NOT TXT him on Thurs...
Even tho it will be extremely difficult becuz my H is out of town Thur - Sun and i know HE is in town at least Thur, Fri... don't know if longer... But still he knows my number, he can call me...
But yes, that is my story, i do feel bad, but didn't intend for this to happen... 14 months ago i was out with friend at bar, he asked me to dance, we were both drunk, we kissed, he took me to his hotel room (he lives out of town), we didn't have sex, but did have fabulous kissing and "practicing", talked next day, saw him sunday before he left, then we txted each other and then emailed each other EVERY DAY for next 3 months (mon-friday at least, with drunk phone calls or txts from me to him sometimes on a sat night)... we did see each other twice in first four months... after 3 months he said, this is an addiction i gotta stop it... he didn't... but then it was.... i only had one night stands before never felt like it was cheating, now its different, we gotta cool things down.... which i did a little, but it was SO HARD.... then when i continued to push to see him or txt or call, he would say your calling me too much, then we didn't talk for month, then started talking again, then he was like we can't go back to that 'tomfoolery' HA! .... then i pushed to go to concert with at end of May, then he ends it, don't talk all summer, see him at end of summer, then at concert in Nov where he says if you see me you don't know me... but then he spends whole concert with me...... AHHHHHHH!!! I'm going crazy... now when i pushed to go to game.. he gets all mad and says don't bug me, could care less if see you..... SO HURTFUL!! Anyway, after telling him off and saying FU last monday, i sent him nice email last friday... no word, but think thats good sign... now i am going to NOT txt him and see if he contacts me..... I hope I stay strong... and I hope he does -- isn't that pathetic????
Woodsnake -- other than the working with him, our situations are very similar.... i mean we both married... it's so hard isn't it? i hate it, and i tell myself to just stop thinking about Other, that he is not worth it... but then i think about how i'm not completely happy in marriage... i dunno what answer is.... life is short, you want to be happy... but why this Man has this pull on me, i don't know... well, i do, when you talk EVERYDAY on email (mainly) but calls and txts for SIX MONTHS, you really get to know someone and fall in love with them.... Why can't they just respond like normaly people.... why do they have to protect themselves so much????
Lindawin,
I totally agree with you. It's weird how the stories are so similiar. Well, on a positive note, you gain a lot of self confidence in a way because you learn to look even deeper than before. I think Virgos protect themselves because like everyone, they might get scared of their emotions. One thing I know for sure is once you get through the darkness, the lightness is so much greater.
I totally agree with you. It's weird how the stories are so similiar. Well, on a positive note, you gain a lot of self confidence in a way because you learn to look even deeper than before. I think Virgos protect themselves because like everyone, they might get scared of their emotions. One thing I know for sure is once you get through the darkness, the lightness is so much greater.
Yes, i guess i know if i stop contact with him, i would probably feel lighter, freer, happier again... but then i think also, sad, depressed, wanting to talk/see him..... it's such a struggle! but this is what i think... Virgos are SO AFRAID of feelings/emotions... becuz it's only when i really go on and on with an email about wanting to see him and how much i like him and how our situations are similar (both married, know we are staying, but not happy).... THAT is when he gets really upset and says mean stuff like.... your always thinking of ways to see me, me could care less.... It hurt so much, yet when i stop and think about it, i don't think he really meant that, DO YOU? I mean don't you think he was just being/running scared from MY FEELINGS and EMOTIONS... becuz once before he told me he couldn't have a relationship, i should find a new man (this was after 4 months of EVERYDAY emails, txts, phone calls -- kissing the phone good night, etc.).... I don't know, maybe i should take him at his word, yet here i am 14 months later and i am still having contact with him... altho it's NOTHING like it was... maybe he does just want sex from me and then not to talk in between? but are Virgos really like that??????
What you have to do is heal yourself from the Virgo guy. You must keep distance from him. It's the only way. The longer you prolong this with wanting to see him, calling and texting him, it's going to get harder and harder. I've done the same thing so I'm speaking from experience. It wasn't until I let it all go. I stopped communication with him so I could move on. However, I honestly thought he'd let me go too since I wasn't getting in touch with him. I was wrong. He gets in touch about once a month now which I don't understand either. I've tried to do the rejecting thing but all I felt was guilty because that isn't the way I operate. He doesn't have a problem rejecting people because I think he believes in the psychology he's going to hurt someone before they hurt him. I've assured him I'm not going to do anything to hurt him but because of past circumstances (not with me), he doesn't trust people. Well, I'm at the point of no turning back because I'm not a play thing for him to pick up when he wants and let go when he wants. He's like nobody else I've ever known.
I think it makes your Virgo guy uncomfortable when you tell him how much you like him. Please don't do that anymore. It won't get you anywhere. He already knows how much you like him so there is no need to keep rehashing it. It more than likely scares the heck out of him. Just be his friend which I'm so he'll appreciate and talk about normal things. Don't mention anything about the relationship. When I talk to the Virgo guy, I act myself with him. He always wants me to know how popular he is with girls. He says he has a girlfriend now (I don't know if he's still with her seen the last time I talked to him was in October, although he called me on November 24th but I was at work) but he too wasn't happy. When I expressed my joy in him having a girlfriend, he sounded sad which completely blew me away. I mean when someone is happy for you, wouldn't you sound happy? He said he wanted to be free again.
When it comes to the sex part, I don't think it has to do with astrology. Any guy likes to get sex when he can, that's for sure. I wouldn't say you should play games with him, but maybe you should keep sex out of the relationship. Then you'll probably see if it's just sex he's been after or if he continues to stay in contact with you without the sex. Either way you'll get your answer to where you stand.
I think it makes your Virgo guy uncomfortable when you tell him how much you like him. Please don't do that anymore. It won't get you anywhere. He already knows how much you like him so there is no need to keep rehashing it. It more than likely scares the heck out of him. Just be his friend which I'm so he'll appreciate and talk about normal things. Don't mention anything about the relationship. When I talk to the Virgo guy, I act myself with him. He always wants me to know how popular he is with girls. He says he has a girlfriend now (I don't know if he's still with her seen the last time I talked to him was in October, although he called me on November 24th but I was at work) but he too wasn't happy. When I expressed my joy in him having a girlfriend, he sounded sad which completely blew me away. I mean when someone is happy for you, wouldn't you sound happy? He said he wanted to be free again.
When it comes to the sex part, I don't think it has to do with astrology. Any guy likes to get sex when he can, that's for sure. I wouldn't say you should play games with him, but maybe you should keep sex out of the relationship. Then you'll probably see if it's just sex he's been after or if he continues to stay in contact with you without the sex. Either way you'll get your answer to where you stand.
Thanks Mystical... i think you are so right... i am not going to reveal or discuss the scary FEELINGS with him anymore... if i do talk to him again.... i will just talk and have fun..... cuz know he can't handle that aspect..... thank you for your wisdom.. i am not going to txt him, i am going to wait and see if he contacts me..... and yes, i agree about the sex thing too.... last time saw him at concert, we didn't, but both wanted to.... anyway, i have to try and be strong...
I thought about that maybe just for sex thing too but it didnt make any sense, he or should i say i put him through some awful situations sitting in my house and being asked to leave by my husband and me saying please dont go he was uncomfortable but he stayed and then another time being accused of having affair with me again by husband again he stayed so i thought surely there are easier ways to get sex than to get stuck in the middle of all this i think i would have walked had i been in his position.
thats a girl i'll be thinking of you cos i know how hard it is to do that but you can just be strong
Lindawin and Woodsnake,
From my experience with this one particular Virgo guy I know, I've learnt I have to keep my interests and stay away from him. Let him take the lead, and be secure. Thank God I'm a secure type of person. My only problem is when I truly care for a person, I go all out for them. That is something I'm going to have to work on and not get ahead of myself. I fell a little for a Leo doctor during the month of October and November (my last day of seeing him will be on Friday) who didn't tell me he had a girlfriend until after 2 1/2 weeks when he was kind of forced to admit it. He was pursuing me, and in a indirect way, I told him I liked him and he got scared. So my point is, just stay strong and be independent. Men love women who can hold their own. This year, I've had 2 heartbreaks. Well, the Virgo guy was the worst of the two because it's much longer than with the Leo doctor. Therefore I hope in 2007, I'll meet another guy who doesn't have a girlfriend. Besides, I don't want to get played anymore as I'm tired of that.
As for the wisdom I have, it's been gained by life experiences. It's been very painful, but very worthwhile. For me 2006, has been hell (excuse my language), but as 2007 comes nearer, I know going in, things just have to get better. A person usually only gains wisdom when they are learning. At the time I was going through all the things with Virgo guy, my head was so clouded. If you look back on my previous postings, you will see a girl who was down and out. I'm so glad I got my head straight back on. However, I hope in this lifetime I meet another Virgo because they are truly awesome. They are so funny, and they show they care for you in their own way. Well, that's my experience.
Remember gals, leave him be. He will get back to you in his time and not yours. Please don't put your life on hold waiting for him. I did it myself which was a big mistake. I'll never do it again. In life you live and you learn.
From my experience with this one particular Virgo guy I know, I've learnt I have to keep my interests and stay away from him. Let him take the lead, and be secure. Thank God I'm a secure type of person. My only problem is when I truly care for a person, I go all out for them. That is something I'm going to have to work on and not get ahead of myself. I fell a little for a Leo doctor during the month of October and November (my last day of seeing him will be on Friday) who didn't tell me he had a girlfriend until after 2 1/2 weeks when he was kind of forced to admit it. He was pursuing me, and in a indirect way, I told him I liked him and he got scared. So my point is, just stay strong and be independent. Men love women who can hold their own. This year, I've had 2 heartbreaks. Well, the Virgo guy was the worst of the two because it's much longer than with the Leo doctor. Therefore I hope in 2007, I'll meet another guy who doesn't have a girlfriend. Besides, I don't want to get played anymore as I'm tired of that.
As for the wisdom I have, it's been gained by life experiences. It's been very painful, but very worthwhile. For me 2006, has been hell (excuse my language), but as 2007 comes nearer, I know going in, things just have to get better. A person usually only gains wisdom when they are learning. At the time I was going through all the things with Virgo guy, my head was so clouded. If you look back on my previous postings, you will see a girl who was down and out. I'm so glad I got my head straight back on. However, I hope in this lifetime I meet another Virgo because they are truly awesome. They are so funny, and they show they care for you in their own way. Well, that's my experience.
Remember gals, leave him be. He will get back to you in his time and not yours. Please don't put your life on hold waiting for him. I did it myself which was a big mistake. I'll never do it again. In life you live and you learn.
jrussou,
Well, we aim to please... LOL
Well, we aim to please... LOL
Thanks Mystical and Lindawin for those kind words, I'm looking forward to seeing him he called yesterday and asked me what size shoes I wear. So I know what I'm getting for christmas..LOL!!! at least I think I do.. Don't give up on your guys.. Thanks again and have a wondferful weekend.
soft
soft
You're sweet, Soft. What ever you do, act surprise with whatever your Virgo guy gets you. Since he asked your shoe size, do not let on. Virgo guys love to service people they like. You are very lucky. At least he did get back to you which is very good.
As for me not giving up on the Virgo guy I know. That's so funny that's it's laughable (but a good one). Well, I have distanced myself from him. I let him take the lead now, event though it's difficult for me in anything I do. I always believe in meeting someone halfway. For once in my life, I went overboard with this Virgo guy. It was more like 70-30 with me trying to keep the communication line open and him ignoring me. Now it's all him with contacting me at least once a month. He had told me a long time ago that he likes to do the calling. I thought that was so ridiculous as who called who. He got very upset with me, can you believe. So I stopped with the calling, but did send loads of text messages because I knew he got those. However, I haven't really been doing anything for the past few months. He calls once a month now, but how long that will last I have no idea and I don't particularly care. He hasn't spoken to me since October. He did call me on November 24th but I was at work. So a few days later I did send him a small text like friends do with saying I saw he had called and he should continue to have a great day. In my opinion it's the respectful thing to acknowledge when someone has called you and you weren't available than to completely ignore you. I did do a little check on him as it's pretty simple here where I live. It turns out he now has 4 cell phones. What in the world would a person need 4 cell phones is beyond me. He doesn't know I know this though. The number he's given me gives some recording saying the subscriber is not available and to try back later. Heck no, I'm not doing that. However, it sounds fishy to me the whole thing. Therefore he doesn't hear from me.
As for me not giving up on the Virgo guy I know. That's so funny that's it's laughable (but a good one). Well, I have distanced myself from him. I let him take the lead now, event though it's difficult for me in anything I do. I always believe in meeting someone halfway. For once in my life, I went overboard with this Virgo guy. It was more like 70-30 with me trying to keep the communication line open and him ignoring me. Now it's all him with contacting me at least once a month. He had told me a long time ago that he likes to do the calling. I thought that was so ridiculous as who called who. He got very upset with me, can you believe. So I stopped with the calling, but did send loads of text messages because I knew he got those. However, I haven't really been doing anything for the past few months. He calls once a month now, but how long that will last I have no idea and I don't particularly care. He hasn't spoken to me since October. He did call me on November 24th but I was at work. So a few days later I did send him a small text like friends do with saying I saw he had called and he should continue to have a great day. In my opinion it's the respectful thing to acknowledge when someone has called you and you weren't available than to completely ignore you. I did do a little check on him as it's pretty simple here where I live. It turns out he now has 4 cell phones. What in the world would a person need 4 cell phones is beyond me. He doesn't know I know this though. The number he's given me gives some recording saying the subscriber is not available and to try back later. Heck no, I'm not doing that. However, it sounds fishy to me the whole thing. Therefore he doesn't hear from me.
Mystical -- ha! you sound just like me -- yes, i am an attractive, intelligent, strong-willed, passionate Scorpio! One thing i've learned, is you should always listen to what they tell you -- cuz they MEAN IT! I think back on all of our six months of everyday emails, etc., and i think of all he revealed to me... "i can't do a relationship" (he's married to)... "i don't want you to wait around for me"... "i don't want to be obligated to anyone for anything".... "if i can't be man enough to leave her then i gotta lie in my bed... so we need to cool it down"...... it's like he has told me all along that he can't do this -- cuz i too am all about -- when i like someone i let them know it -- but he can't handle that -- yet, he wants it, right? cuz why else would we still be in contact after 14 months.... so it's like we both know we can't or shouldn't yet i think we also both know we did have great connection and did sort of fall in love....
irusso -- i loved your deep question? i have been sort of pondering it for a moment -- and i would have to say my initial response would be NO... i mean when i was close to Virgo and just had been with him or something -- YES, i would come back home happy and content and full of love for everyone (does that mean i'm in love with Virgo?).... but then when i'd txt and he didn't respond or something, i would start to get a little frustrated or unhappy again.... then back down.... but it never really has "helped" my relationship with spouse -- but maybe i need to think about question for longer time for better response -- but that's my initial reaction to question....
are you in similar situation irusso? i am proud of myself for sending nice, simple email last Friday and then nothing since.... he will be here tomorrow, and i will try and NOT TXT or anything... i hope he contacts me, we'll see.....
irusso -- i loved your deep question? i have been sort of pondering it for a moment -- and i would have to say my initial response would be NO... i mean when i was close to Virgo and just had been with him or something -- YES, i would come back home happy and content and full of love for everyone (does that mean i'm in love with Virgo?).... but then when i'd txt and he didn't respond or something, i would start to get a little frustrated or unhappy again.... then back down.... but it never really has "helped" my relationship with spouse -- but maybe i need to think about question for longer time for better response -- but that's my initial reaction to question....
are you in similar situation irusso? i am proud of myself for sending nice, simple email last Friday and then nothing since.... he will be here tomorrow, and i will try and NOT TXT or anything... i hope he contacts me, we'll see.....
jrussou,
"how exactly did you find out about the 4 cell phones?"
Well, it's very simple where I live because a lot of things get registered on the internet. I know the internet is not always the most reliable source of information. However, during the summer time when Virgo guy was doing his disappearing act on me and not answering his phone, I did a check on him. Then not too long ago when he was calling me from a "private number" I figured I'd see what was going on. Before he had 3 cell phones. Now he has 4 cell phones. I just don't understand the need to have so many cell phones. Also the number I've always had that he gave me said the subscriber is not available and to try back later. I will not be doing that ever. The old me would have tracked him down. No more. I'm through. However, when and if he gets in contact with me, I will be nice with him like I've always been. That's been my problem. I've been too nice with him. Well, I've learned a very big lesson regarding him. I can't continue to be nice with him. He's going to have to do major steps regarding me.
Lindawin,
Yes, it seems like you and I are so much alike. However, I'm not married though. I'm still single and looking for Mr. Right, or at least the right guy who will sweep me off my feet. That Leo doctor was doing a very good job that I was starting to fall for him. I'm glad I found out he has a girlfriend sooner rather than later. It would have made me very angry if I had developed deep feelings for him and then found out he has a girlfriend. When I like a guy, I usually hold back and observe. With the Leo doctor, I felt he and I were a perfect match. I really felt comfortable around him very quickly which scared the heck out of me. A lesson learned the hard way.
You are absolutely right that when a Virgo says something they mean it. The Virgo guy in my case has told me so many things that should have made me just dump him and run. However, I always think the best of people. I still think there is a lot of good in this Virgo guy. The only problem is he has to see it himself, if ever.
"how exactly did you find out about the 4 cell phones?"
Well, it's very simple where I live because a lot of things get registered on the internet. I know the internet is not always the most reliable source of information. However, during the summer time when Virgo guy was doing his disappearing act on me and not answering his phone, I did a check on him. Then not too long ago when he was calling me from a "private number" I figured I'd see what was going on. Before he had 3 cell phones. Now he has 4 cell phones. I just don't understand the need to have so many cell phones. Also the number I've always had that he gave me said the subscriber is not available and to try back later. I will not be doing that ever. The old me would have tracked him down. No more. I'm through. However, when and if he gets in contact with me, I will be nice with him like I've always been. That's been my problem. I've been too nice with him. Well, I've learned a very big lesson regarding him. I can't continue to be nice with him. He's going to have to do major steps regarding me.
Lindawin,
Yes, it seems like you and I are so much alike. However, I'm not married though. I'm still single and looking for Mr. Right, or at least the right guy who will sweep me off my feet. That Leo doctor was doing a very good job that I was starting to fall for him. I'm glad I found out he has a girlfriend sooner rather than later. It would have made me very angry if I had developed deep feelings for him and then found out he has a girlfriend. When I like a guy, I usually hold back and observe. With the Leo doctor, I felt he and I were a perfect match. I really felt comfortable around him very quickly which scared the heck out of me. A lesson learned the hard way.
You are absolutely right that when a Virgo says something they mean it. The Virgo guy in my case has told me so many things that should have made me just dump him and run. However, I always think the best of people. I still think there is a lot of good in this Virgo guy. The only problem is he has to see it himself, if ever.
I'm an American living in Europe. Therefore it's much easier and more accessable information than in America. The Virgo guy doesn't now I know this as I never let on. If he wanted me to know, he would have told me. I'm very curious to find out why he would have so many cell phones, but I will never ask. Hey, I don't even know if he'll take contact with me ever again as I refuse to do anything anymore. Besides, I'm his friend so if he's smart he'll stay in touch. In a way I'm giving him all the rope to hang himself. In other words, he's having to do most of the work now if he's going to have me in his life as I've done so much before. I'm sure he's seen a change in me as I'm not doing anything. I'm not going to lie though, it's hasn't been easy to suddenly be passive, but I have to.
"Doctor ... girlfriend? If there is no ring, he should be fair game, right?"
Thank you very much. You made my day. I'm a nursing student so I've had to see this doctor basically every day for 9 weeks. He started to show interest in me my second day at my internship. If you want you can read all about it on the Leo board. There was so much going on that there had to be made two topics. There called "A Leo male has gotten my interest". I was a bit crushed because he never acted like a guy who has a girlfriend. Even to this day, he never mentions her. She doesn't even live here so he doesn't see her. No, he doesn't have a ring. He says he's in no hurry to get married. Yeah, he should be fair game, but I don't want to pursue someone who is already taken. I'll find someone worthwhile soon enough. It's just been a bit of a rough year being heartbroken twice in a matter of months. This Leo doctor says he loves his girlfriend very much, but I wonder about that. My last day of seeing him will be on Friday. I've told him that I hope him and I can be friends. He never really answered me so I don't know what will happen. He stares at me at times though. Gosh, I thought I hit the jackpot with him. A nice pair we would have made with him being a doctor and I a nurse. It was just too good to be true.
"Doctor ... girlfriend? If there is no ring, he should be fair game, right?"
Thank you very much. You made my day. I'm a nursing student so I've had to see this doctor basically every day for 9 weeks. He started to show interest in me my second day at my internship. If you want you can read all about it on the Leo board. There was so much going on that there had to be made two topics. There called "A Leo male has gotten my interest". I was a bit crushed because he never acted like a guy who has a girlfriend. Even to this day, he never mentions her. She doesn't even live here so he doesn't see her. No, he doesn't have a ring. He says he's in no hurry to get married. Yeah, he should be fair game, but I don't want to pursue someone who is already taken. I'll find someone worthwhile soon enough. It's just been a bit of a rough year being heartbroken twice in a matter of months. This Leo doctor says he loves his girlfriend very much, but I wonder about that. My last day of seeing him will be on Friday. I've told him that I hope him and I can be friends. He never really answered me so I don't know what will happen. He stares at me at times though. Gosh, I thought I hit the jackpot with him. A nice pair we would have made with him being a doctor and I a nurse. It was just too good to be true.
Mystical -- don't give up hope on doctor, you never know.... and Virgos do seem to reappear at some point later on....
Irussou -- so you and i are similar -- what with being married and not happy... and doing other things that maybe not proud of... but somehow justify.... are you or were you in love with Virgo guy too?
yes, i think Virgos do reveal themselves to you and you need to listen to what they say... but other things he has said to me are: my relationship isn't great but try to focus on good things.... i drink too much cuz i am drowing my unhappiness.... i have read that virgos never leave once married even if miserable... yet, who knows? i am not asking him to leave, would never do that, cuz i am not leaving my situation, BUT i do want to have a relationship -- talking, txting, emailing and seeing each other occasionally... just because we do have such fun together and good connection, great attraction.... that doesn't just happen with just anyone... so i think it means something when it does.... but think he is afraid to reveal real feelings of love or feeling for me, cuz then not only would that scare him, but would mess up his entire life.... once he told me he couldn't let those two worlds collide.... once he told me (even tho we live 2 hours away) if i run into you by chance then it's okay, if i plan it then deep down feel bad..... I don't know what to do... feel like can't just cut off my feelings for him.... i wonder if he will contact me tomorrow....
Irussou -- so you and i are similar -- what with being married and not happy... and doing other things that maybe not proud of... but somehow justify.... are you or were you in love with Virgo guy too?
yes, i think Virgos do reveal themselves to you and you need to listen to what they say... but other things he has said to me are: my relationship isn't great but try to focus on good things.... i drink too much cuz i am drowing my unhappiness.... i have read that virgos never leave once married even if miserable... yet, who knows? i am not asking him to leave, would never do that, cuz i am not leaving my situation, BUT i do want to have a relationship -- talking, txting, emailing and seeing each other occasionally... just because we do have such fun together and good connection, great attraction.... that doesn't just happen with just anyone... so i think it means something when it does.... but think he is afraid to reveal real feelings of love or feeling for me, cuz then not only would that scare him, but would mess up his entire life.... once he told me he couldn't let those two worlds collide.... once he told me (even tho we live 2 hours away) if i run into you by chance then it's okay, if i plan it then deep down feel bad..... I don't know what to do... feel like can't just cut off my feelings for him.... i wonder if he will contact me tomorrow....
jrussou -- oh, lol, sorry, didn't realize you were guy.... yes, i agree with you and completely understand the wanting trust/secret thing with 2nd person.... i think i have that with this guy, well, do i have anything with him? not really! but, you know what i mean... past history... when we first met he started asking me about all that and then we both kinda said, ah... let's not go there... but we both have revealed to each other that we are unhappy in relationship, yet love the person, kids and don't want to disrupt entire lives of everyone.... and, no, wouldn't leave for anyone at this point... i mean if he came at me with love and attention like he did at first and when were talking everyday as before and we were professing love and all that.... both on same page, then maybe in future would think if it was what both wanted.... but i really think that's why he said we had to cool it down after first 3 months, cuz it was getting to be an addiction and probably affecting both our "real lives"..... so, i guess he is the strong one... but it comes across as cold and unfeeling now.... he hasn't contacted me today and i know he is in town -- the s.o.b! ha, no... i am trying to be strong, but i want to txt him so bad!
with regard to his "it's ok if i see you by chance" (which of course would never happen -- i mean you have to know when someone's in town, etc.) but can't plan anything... it's just a game he plays with himself to not feel guilty i think.... but no i don't think he tells his wife anything like that!
anwyay, let me ask you guys, if you've read my previous messages, do you think i should continue to NOT TXT him even tho know he's here and know he knows i want to see him, but had that huge fight where he said could care less if see you.... but then sent him nice email last friday.... so do you think i should txt him something like: "so, you did really mean what you said?" or, do you think i should just LEAVE HIM ALONE????
with regard to his "it's ok if i see you by chance" (which of course would never happen -- i mean you have to know when someone's in town, etc.) but can't plan anything... it's just a game he plays with himself to not feel guilty i think.... but no i don't think he tells his wife anything like that!
anwyay, let me ask you guys, if you've read my previous messages, do you think i should continue to NOT TXT him even tho know he's here and know he knows i want to see him, but had that huge fight where he said could care less if see you.... but then sent him nice email last friday.... so do you think i should txt him something like: "so, you did really mean what you said?" or, do you think i should just LEAVE HIM ALONE????
scorpiogoat-- i am woman, jrussou is guy, ha! but, i don't know... i've been married a long time and have kids... i went through rough period where just was tired of same old arguments, crap, he travels alot now and is completely focused on career... so yeah, i didn't intend to sorta "fall in love" with other person, it just happened at time in my life where i was really unhappy... and then talking for 6 months everyday m-f i really got to know this other person -- really like them and when did see them had a lot of fun.... so i don't know where i'm at now -- i've calmed down becuz 2nd relationship has changed drastically to rarely talk/see -- but still have same issues in 1st relationshp.... see?
i did just text him -- but didn't want to get heavy -- just said r u havin fun?
he probably won't respond! god, i just need to let him gooooooooo.... scorpios tend to obsess, it's hard for us to just let go tho....
jrussou - what's the deal with you and your marriage?
i did just text him -- but didn't want to get heavy -- just said r u havin fun?
he probably won't respond! god, i just need to let him gooooooooo.... scorpios tend to obsess, it's hard for us to just let go tho....
jrussou - what's the deal with you and your marriage?
Lindawin,
Oh, please, don't text or call him. There is no need to do that. You've got to show him you can live your life without him. As I've said before, your Virgo guy will get in contact with you when he wants to. No matter how many times you try contacting him, it take that much longer for him to get in touch with you. You must let him wonder about you. Believe me, I've done the same thing, thinking I should call or text the Virgo guy, just so he knew I was still around. Do you know what? He never responded which would infuriate me. However, as time when on, and I disappeared (like not getting in touch with him), he came back. Now I hear from him at least once a month. How long that will continue I don't know. As time as gone on, it's gotten easier to not want to get in touch with him. I feel it's his job to do that otherwise he'll lose me for good. It's up to him. However, I could never get romantically involved with him. Nope nope nope. That would be too much drama. I guess he'll be in touch, but to be honest I've come to the point where it doesn't matter to me (which took a lot of time for me to come to that point). Leave your Virgo be. Sure, it annoys you that you know he's in your town and he hasn't called you. Have you ever thought he's seeing how strong you really are? I know it's killing you inside having him so close and yet so far away. Don't do anything (I know it's hard) and see what happens. Remember actions speak louder than words.
As for the Leo doctor,well, that was a hurtful experience. I don't really know what to say about that. He says he loves his girlfriend very much. I respect his decision. However, one good thing that came out it, was I was able to get over the Virgo guy much quicker. Now I don't have the Leo doctor, but I'm not sad either. Before the Leo doctor came in the picture, I was still healing from the Virgo guy. I've been fine and concentrating on my studies.
Oh, please, don't text or call him. There is no need to do that. You've got to show him you can live your life without him. As I've said before, your Virgo guy will get in contact with you when he wants to. No matter how many times you try contacting him, it take that much longer for him to get in touch with you. You must let him wonder about you. Believe me, I've done the same thing, thinking I should call or text the Virgo guy, just so he knew I was still around. Do you know what? He never responded which would infuriate me. However, as time when on, and I disappeared (like not getting in touch with him), he came back. Now I hear from him at least once a month. How long that will continue I don't know. As time as gone on, it's gotten easier to not want to get in touch with him. I feel it's his job to do that otherwise he'll lose me for good. It's up to him. However, I could never get romantically involved with him. Nope nope nope. That would be too much drama. I guess he'll be in touch, but to be honest I've come to the point where it doesn't matter to me (which took a lot of time for me to come to that point). Leave your Virgo be. Sure, it annoys you that you know he's in your town and he hasn't called you. Have you ever thought he's seeing how strong you really are? I know it's killing you inside having him so close and yet so far away. Don't do anything (I know it's hard) and see what happens. Remember actions speak louder than words.
As for the Leo doctor,well, that was a hurtful experience. I don't really know what to say about that. He says he loves his girlfriend very much. I respect his decision. However, one good thing that came out it, was I was able to get over the Virgo guy much quicker. Now I don't have the Leo doctor, but I'm not sad either. Before the Leo doctor came in the picture, I was still healing from the Virgo guy. I've been fine and concentrating on my studies.
Scorpiogoat -- i agree with you and am the same -- i am scorpio woman also -- and tend to only really be "in love" with one person at a time... are you kidding -- i have to be ONLY ONE too so can't be in love with more than one at a time either! but, yes, i guess that is what it is -- one is longterm, father of children, love as person... but not IN LOVE... but then think he's good person, good provider, etc., do i want to disrupt entire lives of everyone for what? to find soulmate love? maybe he exists -- but it probably isn't virgo guy who is afraid to reveal feelings after got so emotional/close at first....
my first love (first sexual relationship) was Virgo -- i was really young then tho and didn't know about signs and characteristics, etc., but he did same kind of thing, would break up with me, then when i would say ok, it's over i'm done (as scorpios can do so well!), he would come back at me with full guns -- flowers, calls, love notes, begging me to just call him.... so now i look back on that relationship and think -- all virgo guys are alike -- they are cool, fun, intelligent people - which scorpios really like -- however, they are also kinda messed up....
my first love (first sexual relationship) was Virgo -- i was really young then tho and didn't know about signs and characteristics, etc., but he did same kind of thing, would break up with me, then when i would say ok, it's over i'm done (as scorpios can do so well!), he would come back at me with full guns -- flowers, calls, love notes, begging me to just call him.... so now i look back on that relationship and think -- all virgo guys are alike -- they are cool, fun, intelligent people - which scorpios really like -- however, they are also kinda messed up....
Mystical, are your a scorpio too? i wish you had sent msg a minute or two earlier, cuz if you see I DID TXT HIM! And now of course, i am disgusted with myself -- well, maybe that's a bit harsh, but i'm disappointed, i was doing so well, and being so strong... yes, it is killing me knowing he is here in town, knowing he knows my H is out of town.... and after sending nice email last friday, thought it would have melted him into contacting me today....
i did txt him but kept it light -- just said r u havin fun? but of course NO RESPONSE -- it was only half hour ago, but still.....
i am such a strong person, i hate how he has made me this begging person.... i know i am so much better than this, deserve better, HAVE Better already.... why, why, why am i doing this to myself?
i did txt him but kept it light -- just said r u havin fun? but of course NO RESPONSE -- it was only half hour ago, but still.....
i am such a strong person, i hate how he has made me this begging person.... i know i am so much better than this, deserve better, HAVE Better already.... why, why, why am i doing this to myself?
Lindawin,
When I look at when I was writing my message and when you did, it looks like there were only a matter of minutes in between. Therefore I didn't see that you had sent him a text until after I posted my message to you. So now the waiting game begins again. Gosh, I know how you feel. I would too send a text expecting to get a response soon or at least within a few hours. Nothing, absolutely nothing came. I would get so mad at him thinking why was he ignoring me as I didn't deserve that. I don't think he'll be responding anytime soon. I say this because he's going to do things on his time and not yours. In my opinion, there should be equal respect but that doesn't always happen.
I was also astonished at myself at how I became regarding the Virgo guy. I was like a different person. Instead of me being the carefree gal I am, I suddenly started to worry about this Virgo guy. Wondering and thinking about him constantly (no more now though). I became depressed for the first time in my life. It's always been the guy who was always wondering what I was up to. Not with this Virgo guy. It wasn't until September that I finally got off the roller coaster ride I was on. Then I began to heal and feel happier. I did everything I could to forget about him. When I accepted that he'll always have a place with me, I was able to move on. Maybe you should just have your Virgo guy in your memory and remember the good times you've had. All it seems that you are getting is heartache and pain which you don't need. I think you are doing what you are doing to yourself because you haven't been able to get the closure you need. You probably know this relationship isn't going to go anywhere but for some reason you can't let go. Start letting go. The first thing you need to do is stop getting in touch with him. Then you'll start to feel sad because of his actions. Then you'll start to get mad and realize you don't have to take his shit. As time goes on, he'll realize you mean business. However, if you can, stay friends with him without the sex. Before you can be friends with him, you have to distance yourself from him. It's the only way.
No, I'm not a Scorpio. I'm an Aquarian. The free-spirit kind of person who was able to have a Virgo guy be one of the best teachers in life I could have asked for.
When I look at when I was writing my message and when you did, it looks like there were only a matter of minutes in between. Therefore I didn't see that you had sent him a text until after I posted my message to you. So now the waiting game begins again. Gosh, I know how you feel. I would too send a text expecting to get a response soon or at least within a few hours. Nothing, absolutely nothing came. I would get so mad at him thinking why was he ignoring me as I didn't deserve that. I don't think he'll be responding anytime soon. I say this because he's going to do things on his time and not yours. In my opinion, there should be equal respect but that doesn't always happen.
I was also astonished at myself at how I became regarding the Virgo guy. I was like a different person. Instead of me being the carefree gal I am, I suddenly started to worry about this Virgo guy. Wondering and thinking about him constantly (no more now though). I became depressed for the first time in my life. It's always been the guy who was always wondering what I was up to. Not with this Virgo guy. It wasn't until September that I finally got off the roller coaster ride I was on. Then I began to heal and feel happier. I did everything I could to forget about him. When I accepted that he'll always have a place with me, I was able to move on. Maybe you should just have your Virgo guy in your memory and remember the good times you've had. All it seems that you are getting is heartache and pain which you don't need. I think you are doing what you are doing to yourself because you haven't been able to get the closure you need. You probably know this relationship isn't going to go anywhere but for some reason you can't let go. Start letting go. The first thing you need to do is stop getting in touch with him. Then you'll start to feel sad because of his actions. Then you'll start to get mad and realize you don't have to take his shit. As time goes on, he'll realize you mean business. However, if you can, stay friends with him without the sex. Before you can be friends with him, you have to distance yourself from him. It's the only way.
No, I'm not a Scorpio. I'm an Aquarian. The free-spirit kind of person who was able to have a Virgo guy be one of the best teachers in life I could have asked for.
Very few can handle true emotions/affections of Virguy/gals?and most of the time will be too late?!
...only if we choose not to be alone forever!
...only if we choose not to be alone forever!
oh, i can handle them, just not when they come on, pull off, come close, distance, initiate and pursue, ignore and don't respond..... is that what you mean by "true emotions/feelings" cuz that ain't to me! that's being scared and backing off, coming close.... it's not true, it's being scared.... and too late for whom? you the virgo or the other person who loves you?
Very few can handle true emotions/affections of Virguy/gals?and most of the time will be too late?!
...only if we choose not to be alone forever!
That sums up the Virgo guy in my case very nicely. Finally, I understand.
...only if we choose not to be alone forever!
That sums up the Virgo guy in my case very nicely. Finally, I understand.
exactly, exactly my experience... it's so effing CRAZY!! i mean you wouldn't take that from your worst enemy would you? not me, and yet i do from him..... he would say he wanted to see me and then would cancel on me... or say,well, you can go to hotel room and think about me! AND they are supposed to be the planners, organizers, yet when it comes to intimacy they back off and act like they don't know the first thing about planning to meet, etc.... it's extremely frustrating and demeaning and yes, after a few happenings like this, makes them lose their luster!!!!
yes, that was early on tho, when he was trying to pretend it didn't matter.... i think that's a protection, defendse mechanism.... but it's the same thing... you telling him your going to be there certain dates and him saying i'll be gone those dates... same thing -- think about me in hotel room..... it's like they can't go there with you emotionally, they are too afraid...
my virgo guy never responded to txt, never contacted me...
my virgo guy never responded to txt, never contacted me...
Mmmm nice... sounds like escapism...lovely
jrussou -- hmmmm, yes, i do believe that that is Virgo guys issue.... he likes physical, likes talking, used to like communicating -- but when it got kinda heavy -- too many drunk txts/calls late on sat night or saying i really like him want to see him -- that is when he started with -- i can't leave her.... i can't do a relationship..... so, i think he really likes me -- esp since (even tho not completely consistent) we are still in sorta contact after 14 months and he told me all others were just one night stands..... but he can't handle my emotions and feelings -- i guess i'm too much for him..... so if i keep it light and friendly he's good, but last time that didn't happen and he stopped contact again..
i have NOT been strong -- i have texted him 3 times and called him and (of course) left messages cuz he didn't answer..... i don't think he'll contact me or maybe he is here in town with his wife.... i don't know, but yeah, i'm hurtin..
so is the person you are thinking of breaking the two rules with the Virgo girl neighbor?
i have NOT been strong -- i have texted him 3 times and called him and (of course) left messages cuz he didn't answer..... i don't think he'll contact me or maybe he is here in town with his wife.... i don't know, but yeah, i'm hurtin..
so is the person you are thinking of breaking the two rules with the Virgo girl neighbor?
Yes, very nice song, like the words, but they would be too much for virgo guy to handle - ha! Woodsnake -- how is your situation? you're married as well right?
i called him and said i wanted him to call me so i could come out and hang out with him and friend, or if he was with wife or didn't want to see me again, i understand... told him i didn't want anything from him, knew we didn't have relationship or anything (that word scares him!) and just wanted to go out and have fun..... i have never chased after (never had to either) a man like this before....
and i don't think he likes it.... i mean may be a bit flattered but may also feel like i am being needy and desperate -- which he hates!
i can't believe i am doing this even as i do it..... i need help! i do wish i could just let him go and i guess i know when i stop contacting him it does get easier, but it's always about a week goes by and then i look around at my situation and miss the "excitement" ?? or the "looking forward to" of talking or seeing him.... so i always give in and start contacting him again.... it doesn't last long.... i guess i gotta work on stopping it tho, becuase i am feeling lots of pain and sadness and a little anger....
and i don't think he likes it.... i mean may be a bit flattered but may also feel like i am being needy and desperate -- which he hates!
i can't believe i am doing this even as i do it..... i need help! i do wish i could just let him go and i guess i know when i stop contacting him it does get easier, but it's always about a week goes by and then i look around at my situation and miss the "excitement" ?? or the "looking forward to" of talking or seeing him.... so i always give in and start contacting him again.... it doesn't last long.... i guess i gotta work on stopping it tho, becuase i am feeling lots of pain and sadness and a little anger....
scopiogoat -- i have tried telling my H that i am no happy.... that i am tired of same old arguments... that i need him to take responsibility for actions... but he is so focused on career and traveling for position that he says stuff back like: well, if your unhappy then you need to go talk to someone, cuz its your problem! or, i do take responsibility your the one.... turns blame for his actions back on me..... same old same old.... but you don't just throw away 21 years and kids cuz your bored/lonely or not excited/in love with person.....
at least i can't do that.... i didn't go looking for other... it just happened... two unhappy people meet and major attraction.... all sorta innocent at first, but talking and getting to know someone brings you close....
anyway, i'm not saying i'm proud of behavior, but once you are hooked or have fallen, it's hard to just break off, work on other and have life be perfect...
at least i can't do that.... i didn't go looking for other... it just happened... two unhappy people meet and major attraction.... all sorta innocent at first, but talking and getting to know someone brings you close....
anyway, i'm not saying i'm proud of behavior, but once you are hooked or have fallen, it's hard to just break off, work on other and have life be perfect...
scorpiogoat -- i agree and no i cannot am not a 'detached' person in any sense of the word! i am wear my heart and soul on my sleeve, totally devoted and loving and have that person be everything in my life when in love.... but all for naught with the Virgo -- he's not available and is/has told me so.... but think we both keep coming back to each other for some reason?????
anyway, i do know what i need to do, give up,forget about and just not contact again the V guy.... work on marriage and make things better... in time happier?
but its sooooo hard....
anyway, virgo guy has not responded to one single text or phone call yesterday or today, i am so bummed, know i NEED TO GIVE HIM UP/ LET HIM GO.... people say - oh, just don't think about him, keep busy -- helloo.... i do keep busy - but i am a scorpio -- i think/feel -- that's what i do... but would like secret ingredient to stop and get over him.... anyone know of any....
anyway, i do know what i need to do, give up,forget about and just not contact again the V guy.... work on marriage and make things better... in time happier?
but its sooooo hard....
anyway, virgo guy has not responded to one single text or phone call yesterday or today, i am so bummed, know i NEED TO GIVE HIM UP/ LET HIM GO.... people say - oh, just don't think about him, keep busy -- helloo.... i do keep busy - but i am a scorpio -- i think/feel -- that's what i do... but would like secret ingredient to stop and get over him.... anyone know of any....
Hi lindawin yep im married, things are good for me at home now well better anyway. I still have feelings for vguy probably always will. He is away now with his work until may/june time, the hardest part will be working with him again once he is back i think we will be ok though, we are both quite professional in that respect.
We werent talking much when he left i tried but he said best if we dont. I think iv learnt to respect that now i think i was really selfish thinking about how hurt i was and never really thought that he was probably hurting too and we both handle our hurt differently.What we had was really intense and lovely (feel sad now thinking about it)but i have to let it go for all our sakes as hard as it is i respect both him and my husband as people i have to do the right thing now......still hurts alot but im sure it will get easier
We werent talking much when he left i tried but he said best if we dont. I think iv learnt to respect that now i think i was really selfish thinking about how hurt i was and never really thought that he was probably hurting too and we both handle our hurt differently.What we had was really intense and lovely (feel sad now thinking about it)but i have to let it go for all our sakes as hard as it is i respect both him and my husband as people i have to do the right thing now......still hurts alot but im sure it will get easier
thanks scorpiogoat and woodsnake -- i did send him one last txt this morning, just said was hoping to say goodbye, but understand, wish you the best, take care. Now, i really need to do that.... not contact him again, not call or txt or email or anything.....
i know that the last few months that we have been back in contact it has been totally different than it was at beginning 12 or 14 months ago.... it would never be like that again....
it's just hard cuz now i know i need to go back to real life and not have any secret person i could love.... it was hurting me, hurting my marriage, it wasn't good, but ya know, when you really love/like someone alot and want to see them, it's just something you do....
i know if i just stop all contact that each day/week will get easier, i am a scorpio and we think and obsess over things.... yes, i have already (months ago) did the deleting thing -- erased all voice mails, txts, emails,, etc... it did help.... now i don't have anything.... i guess i just gotta give it time...
and realize that although he is basically good person deep down, good dad, etc., he is not good husband, has one night stands on his wife all the time and he's right if he can't be man enough to leave her than he has to lie in his unhappy bed... i have read that virgos never leave even when miserable... and i am probably better off w/o him in my life, right? i mean what was he doing for me? causing me to be on an emotional rollercoaster and hurting everyone mainly me...
i know that the last few months that we have been back in contact it has been totally different than it was at beginning 12 or 14 months ago.... it would never be like that again....
it's just hard cuz now i know i need to go back to real life and not have any secret person i could love.... it was hurting me, hurting my marriage, it wasn't good, but ya know, when you really love/like someone alot and want to see them, it's just something you do....
i know if i just stop all contact that each day/week will get easier, i am a scorpio and we think and obsess over things.... yes, i have already (months ago) did the deleting thing -- erased all voice mails, txts, emails,, etc... it did help.... now i don't have anything.... i guess i just gotta give it time...
and realize that although he is basically good person deep down, good dad, etc., he is not good husband, has one night stands on his wife all the time and he's right if he can't be man enough to leave her than he has to lie in his unhappy bed... i have read that virgos never leave even when miserable... and i am probably better off w/o him in my life, right? i mean what was he doing for me? causing me to be on an emotional rollercoaster and hurting everyone mainly me...
Yknow there is just no easy way out of this we are all trying to give good advice .....when i was feeling things getting on top of me and i felt vguy wasnt giving me answers i was saying to him what is all this about what you want from me, is it just sex ....his reply was you were there too.....iv thought about those words alot and at the end of the day only him and i or you and him really know what it was all about.....i expected him to open his heart and tell me how he felt now iv had lots of time to think i think to myself why the hell should he have im married how selfish can i be im going home to bed every night with my husband and im expecting him to be totally open with me when he knows i wont leave for him as much as i feel for him, god im realising now no wonder he thinks it best not to talk ....i know he persued me first but i recipicated ....at the end of the day lindawin you will probably do what you want to do regardless of any advice here but its all well meaning and a lot of it good and sound just think about what you really want and can you have it.....
thanks guys... all of you... i do appreciate and really value your thoughts and wisdom on this.... and basically i agree with you... i have done all those things in last 14 months.... talked to other men (who wanted a "relationship" but i only wanted to talk about my V guy with them) they would tell me he sounds like an a-hole you should love me.... Ha! But you all know, you can't just turn off feelings for one and have feelings for another.... scorpios are pretty deep with emotions/feelings/love.... when we have a connection we have it body, mind and spirit... i don't know about other scorpios but with me it's pretty much ALL or NOTHING..... when i really give of myself, my time, etc......
so yeah, i was the big person, even tho sent him txts, left msgs that he didn't respond to, i sent one last nice txt saying goodbye and wish him all the best.... i just want him to know that i am pretty great/special person, i know at beginning he thought that -- he used to say -- i know you must have men all around you, so i wonder what you are doing/wanting with me? but now it's your too much for me... your too needy, etc.....
well, for my sanity, health, well-being i need and am determined to let go and go on.... i took my youngest daughter to movie today - the holiday - it was sweet romantic funny movie -- i of course cried through last half -- i'm sure others around were thinking -- it's not THAT SAD! but of course i was crying for myself and my "lost love".... ha!
jruossuo - how long have you been married, do you have kids? do you have lots of affairs or just at hard times in marriage? is V girl one you will break rules with?... that must be scary tho if she is neighbor -- too close for comfort! at least in your situation....
i guess i am at the mid-point in my life and i feel like i look and feel and act 10 years+ younger (people all think that and tell me that too) and i just think is THIS IT? Not that this is so bad, have great home, life basically, but i want fun and adventure and love and romance.... maybe i want too much....
so yeah, i was the big person, even tho sent him txts, left msgs that he didn't respond to, i sent one last nice txt saying goodbye and wish him all the best.... i just want him to know that i am pretty great/special person, i know at beginning he thought that -- he used to say -- i know you must have men all around you, so i wonder what you are doing/wanting with me? but now it's your too much for me... your too needy, etc.....
well, for my sanity, health, well-being i need and am determined to let go and go on.... i took my youngest daughter to movie today - the holiday - it was sweet romantic funny movie -- i of course cried through last half -- i'm sure others around were thinking -- it's not THAT SAD! but of course i was crying for myself and my "lost love".... ha!
jruossuo - how long have you been married, do you have kids? do you have lots of affairs or just at hard times in marriage? is V girl one you will break rules with?... that must be scary tho if she is neighbor -- too close for comfort! at least in your situation....
i guess i am at the mid-point in my life and i feel like i look and feel and act 10 years+ younger (people all think that and tell me that too) and i just think is THIS IT? Not that this is so bad, have great home, life basically, but i want fun and adventure and love and romance.... maybe i want too much....
Thanks roxi -- i'm glad i'm not alone -- i know there are probably many women out there who feel the same... scorpiogoat -- yes, but it's easier said than done, and i'm not miserable, just feeling like i've kinda done it all with work/family now i want time for just ME -- but for what? to have love and romance and fun and adventure???? with who, how, why -- what's that gonna get me? i don't know, it's kinda exasperating to think about sometimes...
jrussou - you are such a guy! i mean that in a good way, that is exactly the type of txts or emails i would get from v guy at end -- very succinct and to the point -- but totally gives information... it's just kinda interesting -- guys are so succinct and women are so full of emotions and words and etc.... what is your sign -- are you a sagitarius?
the thing is i don't care for/love just ANYONE, but when i do, it's not so easy to just cut off all feelings, emotions, thoughts...
maybe i should volunteer to help abused kids or something... something i've always wanted to do, but never had extra time... not that i do now, but would be something more to keep mind off things... but i dunno, too much emotions from me in those situations.... i'd probably want to kill the abusers or something... ha!
jrussou - you are such a guy! i mean that in a good way, that is exactly the type of txts or emails i would get from v guy at end -- very succinct and to the point -- but totally gives information... it's just kinda interesting -- guys are so succinct and women are so full of emotions and words and etc.... what is your sign -- are you a sagitarius?
the thing is i don't care for/love just ANYONE, but when i do, it's not so easy to just cut off all feelings, emotions, thoughts...
maybe i should volunteer to help abused kids or something... something i've always wanted to do, but never had extra time... not that i do now, but would be something more to keep mind off things... but i dunno, too much emotions from me in those situations.... i'd probably want to kill the abusers or something... ha!
happy birthday jrussou!
Dear all,
I am new here and it appears as if there are hundreds of virgo experts. I am desperate for advice.
I met a virgo guy some 5 weeks ago and immediately we had a perfect connection. We were seeing each other almost everyday, he would text and ring many times throughout the day too. He then actually told me he loved me, that I was th eone for him and that he would like to have a committed relationship with me. He has a very busy job and two weeks ago he cancelled our dates twice apologising and saying he has to work. I took it well. Last Sunday we met and went to a wonderful restaurant, where again he told me he was still "counting his lucky stars" and that he cannot imagine being as happy with anyone else. We agreed to meet the next day but he cancelled 30 minutes before the date, saying he is "under the weather a bit". Then throughout the wee he was sick but texting me a lot. I just remained light and supportive, saying that I hope he recovers soon and that I miss him. We arranged to meet on Saturday - he cancelled again, saying he was still at work, and arranged for Sunday. On Sunday he cancelled again, saying he wa still at work. I then texted him saying that whilst I am very understanding of his work, and that I didnt want to appear needy or dramatic, but that it was starting to seem to me that he didnt want to see me anymore, and if that was the case, to please let me know. I got "Wow, where had that one come from?" text in response. I explained again to him that I was somewhat confused. I did nt get anything back and got concerend, as his job is dangerous. When I rang him that night, he dumped my calls. I have accidentally lost is number, and have not heard from him since (3 days now). I am flabbergasted and dont want to beleive he was simply playing me around. What an expensive and troublesome way to get someone (restaurants and flowers every time, met all his friends and colleagues, been to his home and know all about family life!). Could someone please help me out with some advice here?
Thank you so much!
I am new here and it appears as if there are hundreds of virgo experts. I am desperate for advice.
I met a virgo guy some 5 weeks ago and immediately we had a perfect connection. We were seeing each other almost everyday, he would text and ring many times throughout the day too. He then actually told me he loved me, that I was th eone for him and that he would like to have a committed relationship with me. He has a very busy job and two weeks ago he cancelled our dates twice apologising and saying he has to work. I took it well. Last Sunday we met and went to a wonderful restaurant, where again he told me he was still "counting his lucky stars" and that he cannot imagine being as happy with anyone else. We agreed to meet the next day but he cancelled 30 minutes before the date, saying he is "under the weather a bit". Then throughout the wee he was sick but texting me a lot. I just remained light and supportive, saying that I hope he recovers soon and that I miss him. We arranged to meet on Saturday - he cancelled again, saying he was still at work, and arranged for Sunday. On Sunday he cancelled again, saying he wa still at work. I then texted him saying that whilst I am very understanding of his work, and that I didnt want to appear needy or dramatic, but that it was starting to seem to me that he didnt want to see me anymore, and if that was the case, to please let me know. I got "Wow, where had that one come from?" text in response. I explained again to him that I was somewhat confused. I did nt get anything back and got concerend, as his job is dangerous. When I rang him that night, he dumped my calls. I have accidentally lost is number, and have not heard from him since (3 days now). I am flabbergasted and dont want to beleive he was simply playing me around. What an expensive and troublesome way to get someone (restaurants and flowers every time, met all his friends and colleagues, been to his home and know all about family life!). Could someone please help me out with some advice here?
Thank you so much!
lonelyhamster: That just happened to me not too long ago except he did not tell me he loved me. I have to say though, that when it comes to work, they do usually put that first before you. This Virguy I dated started off super sweet. Bought me roses, paid for dinner's, etc.... He called me many times a day just to say "Hi" or miss you. Then, we would make plans to the movies and he cancel about an hour before, then make plans again to go bowling and he cancel a few hours before going, then invited him over for dinner and of course he canceled but, after I tried to reach him because dinner was already done. Then there would be no calls, unless he needed something. Sorry, I'm probably not the best person for advice on this one because I'm not liking a Virgo Man very much right now. I also, know about his family, friends, etc..... Try asking his friends about him. He will probably call you back within a few more days or something. Good Luck
SW
SW
yeah, once i start obsessive and reliving conversations or times together... yeah, it's like you can't deal with everyday things.... i mean you do, but i tend to want to go off by myself and reminisce or analyze the last txting or whatever... it's sad --- Gotta Get Off The Rollercoaster......
And then you wonder, is he thinking about me, about our past conversations... or does he really just not care and is totally unfeeling?....
And then you wonder, is he thinking about me, about our past conversations... or does he really just not care and is totally unfeeling?....
He then actually told me he loved me, that I was th eone for him and that he would like to have a committed relationship with me.
OMG, wake up girl. is that the kind of man who would like to have a committed relationship with you? do you think he's serious by doing such? don't be confused by all these sweet words, there are alot of men out there who can easily utter that "L" word without knowing what it mean. how was he treating you? like a stupid cheap girl who will run after him to ask for a date after a numerous times of canceling it?
Last Sunday we met and went to a wonderful restaurant, where again he told me he was still "counting his lucky stars" and that he cannot imagine being as happy with anyone else.
OMG what a pity. dump him!
OMG, wake up girl. is that the kind of man who would like to have a committed relationship with you? do you think he's serious by doing such? don't be confused by all these sweet words, there are alot of men out there who can easily utter that "L" word without knowing what it mean. how was he treating you? like a stupid cheap girl who will run after him to ask for a date after a numerous times of canceling it?
Last Sunday we met and went to a wonderful restaurant, where again he told me he was still "counting his lucky stars" and that he cannot imagine being as happy with anyone else.
OMG what a pity. dump him!
.. you are in a dead-end relationship. too soon to tell? too unfair to conclude? what is left for you to do? count the stars with him?
you know what you are worth. you know how much your love is worth, why will you settle for less? you deserve to be happy, to be treated right and to be truly loved.
you know what you are worth. you know how much your love is worth, why will you settle for less? you deserve to be happy, to be treated right and to be truly loved.
well, i do believe in the old saying 'actions speak louder than words'.... it's true... mine would say can't see you, and then show up and be with me or call me and be with me.... (his guilt was telling him he couldn't see me, but his actions told me he wanted to)....
same thing.... he may be saying i love you, your the one... but then he cancels on you all the time... does he also not respond to txts or answer calls? those are signs he's 'hiding' or needs his space....
same thing.... he may be saying i love you, your the one... but then he cancels on you all the time... does he also not respond to txts or answer calls? those are signs he's 'hiding' or needs his space....
OMG it's not about space, he's not into you.
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