Please help from virgo men!

This topic was created in the Virgo forum by _Patt_ on Sunday, December 23, 2007 and has 29 replies.
Please an advice from Virgo men:
I'm a Leo woman with Scorpio Rising, my boyfriend is Virgo with Cancer Rising (by the way he's 18, I'm 22). We are for a month in a time between us, so we are not really together...My question to Virgo Men is: How to get my virgo man back? Well he was a pig with me and I'm very hurted and as a Leo, my pride is also hurted so I don't talk to him, I just reply to his messages that have nothing to do with main issue, I'm waiting for "I'm sorry, I regret for what I've done and I want us back", but I don't know if that will happen...
Virgo men please help me! How to get my virgo man back? I really love him... Thanks a lot. =)
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"he was a pig with me and I'm very hurted and as a Leo, my pride is also hurted"
"I'm waiting for "I'm sorry, I regret for what I've done and I want us back", but I don't know if that will happen..."

If he does say that he's sorry .. will this prevent him from being a pig to you again?
A true story and I'll try to make it brief .. my first husband used to beat me up .. afterwards, he would say, "I'm sorry, Angel. I love you." The next time he got angry, he would beat me again.
What do those words mean? Do they mean he was really sorry, if he did it again? They're just words.
If your man is treating you like a pig, then his words mean nothing. Remember the old saying: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but, words can never hurt me?
That means .. actions can make or break you, words mean nothing.
You are looking for an apology to continue loving a man who's actions mean to break you .. is your pride being nurtured really worth that much?
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Leokitten: Your question is completely correct, I ask myself that too... And I find myself saying "you love him, but you deserve for him to be nice...", well I'm also very confused, because everything happened suddenly, no one was expecting...
P-Angel and leokitten: He was a pig because he lied to me in something (porn), he never hit me, but he's pretty agressive when he's really mad, he threw away our ring and made a bad gesture to me, he started to reject me, he spent a whole day (I moved to his and his father house in his country) saying for me to go away (he didn't want to me to be in the same room as him!) Everything in one week... he changed like that, he's a very complicated person, but I cannot excuse him...the worst thing he did was in the street (2 days before I moved back to my country) we were arguing and he made the gesture to spit on me, he immediately apologised but if we weren't on the street I sware I didn't know how I'd react... But all this happened in one week... By the way, he's 18 and I'm 22...
And yeah, P-Angel, maybe I should boost a lot my self-esteem, if you know what I mean...
I have evryone saying that I deserve much better and I know that, I'm just confused in the point that he makes me happy, he's sweet and so on...but that behaviour so suddenly, makes me think... I'm really very confused.
All your help is really precious.
Thank a lot for both helping me, really.
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"he makes me happy, he's sweet"

Patt, maybe what you should do at this point is to stop focusing on what he is doing, or not doing ... and turn to what you believe you need to be happy.
I'm thinking that maybe this is why it's confusing you. You're leaving it up to him to decide for you. If he's sweet to you, then you're happy .. if he's a pig to you, then you're unhappy.
Take your personal power back for yourself and let your own self determine what you need to be happy. He can't make you happy if you don't know what it is to make you so.
I hope you find what you're looking for smile
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P-Angel thanks a lot of your wise words... Really all this days and with his childish atitudes and with the crap treatment he gave suddenly and also with all the advices my friends gave me, I've really realize that I deserve someone that truly loves me, respects me and treat me with dignity, I don't deserve him. I'm gonna move on and someday I believe I'll find someone that treat me as I deserve... I hope is everything okay with you and I wish the best for you and for leokitten that helped me too. smile
Merry Christmas for everyone!

P.S. Virgo guys I believe you are a little ashamed with this virgo guy, because I believe you are not a bastard like him...He's an expection, a black sheep in you zodiac sign maybe lol.
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You're welcome and I'm glad you were able to find the strength and encouragement you needed to see where your path lays to bring you happiness. smile
I truly don't believe there are bad people .. we just make bad choices, and oftentimes we meet people who bring out our bad qualities. And this doesn't mean any person is bad, just bad together.
Merry Christmas to you, too smile
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P-Angel: Thanks really smile. But I believe there's bad people, to summarize he had a very bad experience in his childhood and I think that made him as he is now... He can be a very sweet person, he did everything to have me with him in his country, he promised so much things seven plans futures that with time we would make them true...I think is not a balanced person, his moods change very much, besides with me, before all the thing happened, he was always good and balanced... A person in his family said to me that he still needs a phychology...I know his life story and it's sad, but at least he has a father and 2 more ppl in the family that really cares abut him...complicated mind he has...

Werner: Yeah... I don't know if you read the previous comments, but I was willing to comfort him (as I always did), if he showed a little interest on me now, what's he's doing now it's kinda spying through his father msn (it's noticeable it's not his father..), but apart on that he doesn't eeven come to msn to talk with me, came 2 times with the recent email but probably was waiting or me to talk and just said "going to bed, goodnight", and one of this times was last week...he is using his old email in msn where he blocked me...and where he has ppl and girls I don't like...so he's not doing anything to even please me, plus removed from internet a video he made dedicated to me, so how can I be nice to someone that seems doesn't care anymore about me?
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He probably has something bothering him at the moment so he's backing off for a while. Give him time and he'll more than likely turn around when he's ready. It could take a while though and if you have the patience, then stick it out. It's hard when you really care for someone and things are rocky, that they clam up and don't talk to you. Heck, I remember that with a certain Virgo guy I knew. It was very frustrating when he was in one of his moods to get him to talk. Finally, I had enough. Remember be true to yourself. Good luck.
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Mystical: As a month and some days already passed, I just sent today an email to him saying for him to decide because time's over.. Let's see what he'll say... Thank you very much smile
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_Patt_: I can almost guarantee (not meaning to sound pessimistic though) you will not get any answer anytime soon. The reason for this is because now your Virgo will probably go into analyzing everything. Therefore he will be thinking and thinking and so on. So now that you've sent the e-mail, please do not contact him again. You WILL not get anywhere if you call him or send him e-mails. It will more than like take that much longer for him to get in touch with you. You have to have a lot of patience. Be strong and never show weakness. Stay safe.
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Mystical: And you are right, he didn't reply and I won't send anything more. Let's see how long he's going to take to say something, by the way you think he will reply, it's just a matter of time, right? Thanks a lot really smile.
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I remember when I was 18. I was a fool. But hey, you have to learn somehow. I thought I had it all together, yet I was often unsensitive, uncaring. Took advantage of girlfriends. I regret it now, and can only say I learned from my mistakes, and tried to become a better more mature person.
Everyone has to learn somehow. And many of us learn by trail and error... with much error along the way.
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Ferghus Clydelover: you are kind saying he's just playing with me and lost suddenly all the love he said and seemed he had, right? lol (Because he's a fool...I don't know if you read the previous comments, but he made everything just for me to move to his house, he was crazy about me and suddenly...)I hope he learns somehow, I learned already in not trusting so much in people...
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I wouldn't say "toying with you". I'd say more like "is still so young he doesn't really know what he wants yet". Or maybe he has some religious conviction that is troubling him.
When I was 12 I had a huge crush on a 12 yo V-Gal. We played together (non-sexual), I wrote love letters to her. But she just wasn't into me. I'm still a little hurt from the experience after all these years... but we were just kids after all.
At 16 I met a 21 yo gal and got my first kiss. We'd kiss for hours and she was a great kisser. I suppose she taught me how to kiss. But she would never do anything else, and it was tough for me. I was full of testosterone at 16 and she was not interested in anything but kissing. We also wrote love letters back and forth. After a year or so her parents forced us to break up, saying she was "robbing the cradle". I pined for her also, and still think of her every now and then.
One guy friend had several girlfriends scattered around the area, and since no one had a car of their own yet, he'd have to hitch hike to see the gals, and didn't want to go alone, so invited me along a couple of times. There would always be a girl for me too.
The first time, we went, we got to his girlfriends house ok, but the gal who was to be mine, was shy, and I was shy, and we didn't even kiss. She got scared or something and went home. Meanwhile, my buddy is having sex in the next room.
The next time we went out, we got to the girlfriends house, and pretty much the same thing happened. I was just too shy to make a sexual advance towards a gal who I didn't know. That was the last time I went hitchhiking with that guy.
At 17 I dated a nice gal in High school. We also just kissed. I wanted more, but she'd say no, and no has always meant NO to me and I'd stop. I guess I figured if I pushed her too far, she'd break up with me. But after a few months she broke up with me anyway saying she wanted to see other people. I was very hurt. Then a month or so later she wanted me back. We got back together and this time I pushed for more from her besides kissing... because I no longer cared if she might break up with me again. And we did, after only a few months. I left her this time.
At 18 I met a nice gal and we dated briefly. Like for a couple of months. Also a great kisser, but wouldn't go beyond that... and by this point, I NEEDED sex. So broke up with her.
Continued next post:

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At 19 I worked at a gas station. This was back in the "full service" days. Where attendants pumped the gas for customers. Several gals would come in and chat with me from time to time. One had huge boobs and would wear low cut tops, and actually thrust out her chest by arching her back when she pulled up to talk to me. Soon we were dating. At some point she gave me oral. That was my first sexual experience. Eventually, we started having complete intercourse (we used condoms). But the experience was not only great, but greatly guilt inducing. I was a practicing Christian by this point and felt hugely guilty every time we had sex, even though I wanted sex so badly. So I ended up only calling her when the urge got so bad that I felt desperate. She eventually caught on to what I was doing and broke up with me. Of course I felt bad about being such an asshole, and still feel bad about it.
At 20 is when I started going to Rev-War events. These events are similar to Ren Fairs. And this is where I started having lots of sex with different gals, as everyone who participates camps out for the entire weekend. I was looking for love, but also for sex, and many times, would have sex with gals who I had zero interest in for a Long term relationship. By age 22 I had dated many gals, and become sexually mature... no longer shy. Some gals broke up with me and made me cry, some I made cry, sometimes the breakup was mutual and we parted as friends. At age 22 is when I met the Cancer gal, who was 37, and married. She seduced me. But that's a story for another time... unless I've already written about it... I'll have to look back at my old DXP archives.
So what's the point of this whole story? It's that your 18 yo beau might be having trouble from his parents. They may feel you are too old for him and may be pressuring him to not see you anymore. Maybe it's that he's still not mature enough to really know what he wants for a long term relationship. Maybe he is satisfying his sexual desire with you, but feels guilty about it afterwards because of his religious beliefs. Maybe he had no interest in you as a long term friend, and was only using you to satisfy his immense sexual desire. He may also be in love with you, and another girl and be torn about which way to go?
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Ferghus Clydelover: I'm going to tell some details that I haven't told yet, maybe that will make difference or not lol...
Well this guy is not from my country, we met occasionally in a forum about a serie, not even a date fforum, because I'm not into that things... After 2 months of talking through the forum he gave to me his msn email, you started to talk about other things including ourselves. He has a complicated childhood, he felt always like an unwanted child and his mother left him, he's now just living with his father and his sister with his mother. He doesn't even have contact with mother's family side neither his mother.
Things started to be intense, I think he found in me someone he could also trust and made him also feel safe in the middle of his trauma...As after a time we feel in love with each other, we wanted badly to meet personally each other(we used web cam to talk everydays), I couldn't afford the trip and he said he would pay and if I didn't accpet his money he would be sad, because we couldn't be really together...well I accepted and went to his country in april (he couldn't come to mine as in april he was still 17). WE spent awesome time, we have so much things in common, I stayed in his house with his father, I met his only family (aunt and grandmother from father's sided) and everyone treated me like a princess, we have fun together and we kind have a mental connection that sometimes was scary lol (I knew what he was about to say and thinking and the other way around too), things got pretty intense between us, we both started to make future plans...and he was the one that wanted to me to stay with him there already in april (we just had 3months at that time), lots of tears from both on airport, but I came back and we continued talking everydays through msn webcam.
Well, on June he talked with his father and asked permission to come to my country. He stayed on my house, meet my parents, he wanted and we bought rings, we had a great time, I took him to meet places and stuff...He made lots of promises and said that he wanted me with him in his country (as in mine there's kind an economy crisis), he said he would never leave me, I was his everything, his angel and so on...he said he would try and open his heart with his father and convince him to let me move to their house when he arrived back in his country, well again when he came back, tears at the airport...
Continue below...
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In the begining of July he told me he talked with his father and he let me move to his house, he was so happy and I was too...
But since middle July and some time in August with had some fights, always because a friend of him (I already had been pissed at him because of this guy before, and he even cried saying he didn't want to hut me). I don't know why, but I feel he has difficult in saying "no" to the guy, somehow it seemed that he always chose the guy instead of me...I went really pissed, he always said I'm the most important person in his life and his intention was not hurting me... Somehow, I knew that his friend his a problem (plus in the beggining of the relationship, he was the one saying he was disappointed with his friend that seemed jealous instead of happy for him...so how the hell he call best friend to a guy that he notices that?!)
September I moved to his country and house, everything went lovely in his 18th birthday and in all next days. We had fun, we spend good times, it's true he lost his viginity with me I also with him (but this was already in april) and we had a good intimate life, we got along very well in the house issues...everything was going smoothly until he lost his job... He turned quiet and serious, I knew he was hurted and frustated because of the way he was treated so I understood (this was more or less in the middle of october). Because he started to not doing othing, not even take iniciative to look for new jobs his father got mad with him lots of time and argued a lot with him...I felt he was pushing me away and asked if somethig was wrong, he said always it was nothing with me and I believe, because he said he just about the non-job situation, besides he wasn't the same nice person he used to be, even said that his job issue was non of my business when I tried to help him...
Continue below... (sorry about the long texts, but now I think everyone will really understand my story...)
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"Wow its the same scenario just different posters time after time...Hhhmmmmmmm..."

:: sighs ::
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Through his father help he finally got an interview to a job, however we already had talked because of this situation we were spending too much time together doing nothing...I needed space and he too...but nothing we could do, I was still waiting for some government papers that would able me to apply for jobs and he was curretly without a job...)
Besides the interview went well, his mood wasn't getting better and he didn't want to do anything...We still had some good time, but honestly I wasn't feeling very happy because he didn't have any iniciatives, his father was teh one making plans, and when we were going out was with his father...Fortunately some days after, he surprised and took me to the movies... But in the next weekend, everything changed...
Again a huge fight with his father, he was closed in his room, I was with him...Besides that we had fun together, played some computer games, tickling each other... At night, I made something for me to eat and I was eating in living room. When I finished, I went to his room and caught his looking to something that seemed porn, I went crazy, he always said he didn't like that things and criticized them, so how could he lied to me, how could he do this to me...He was just saying it was commercials, but I shut the door of the room in his face and went crying to the kitchen; he father saw and went screaming at him what he has done to me...
Well, I went to scream with him, he father went outside house and I was arguing with him badly...He was just saying it was commercials and I don't trust him, then I ask if were just commercials why then you close when you noticed me? "Because of this" he said, well truly I didn't believe none of his words and when I picked his laptop for him to show me he turned agressive and I screamed to him "if you hurt me, I'll hurt you back", he run into the living room, threw away our ring and sai it's over. I paralised and asked if he knew what he was doing...he went to the bathroom and I asked him to put the ring, he said for me to pick it...
Continue below...
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After that he put the ring but changed dramatically with me and he for sure talked with that other guy...he starts to reject me and so on... he asked for a time and one or two days after, one more arguement with his father about the way he was dealing with me, so it was decided it's better for me to come back to my country and so it was...
It made already one month nad a few days that I'm back, I'm trying to get a job, restart my life and moving on.
He keeps contact to me, talk about things that has nothing to do with main issue, since I'm here I noticed he blocked me on his old email and when comes to msn his with the most recently one and waits for me to talk, as I don't say anything he just says "I'm going to bed, goodnight"...
2 days ago I sent an email saying time's over and his has to decide himself, I still didn't get an answer. Yesterday just sent a message informing about something about his pets...so nothing about the main issue...
I really want to move on, because I think I don't deserve, but the worst his I have his father contact on msn and he also talks to me...and recently I found that the guy might "spy" me through his father msn email or even ask to his father to ask me something...Plus they sent me more presents on christmas and some was from him...

And all this is making more difficulft for me to make the dettachment... I'm really tired of all this, I sware...
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likeBrad: He's not psychic, I meant we had kind a connection and lots of times we knew what each other was about to say, it was odd and funny at the same time.
Sincerely, I like my country, I like his country too the most complicate dthing is the language, besides I was adapting myself well and learning well. But I don't consider an option to be there alone, I'd choose another place if I wanted to move to other country.
I understood smile. No, I can make it, besides it's painful because I left everything to start in another place, so I have to start from zero, but as you said sun will shine one day, so it'll be worth the effort.
One thing: should I slowly end with all of our contact sources or ways of contact each other?
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I meant that I don't want to be there and besides it's painful I prefer start from zero here...
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Is this all about a 17/18 year-old who hasn't had enough life-experience yet to get a good work ethic under his belt .. or, is it about a guy being male and liking the way a female body looks?
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Lol lB... naah we have good baby sitters here, maybe i'll need him to fo some housework...I'll could hire him..hmmm... joking. I'll let things as they are just ending with minors things like youtube.

yeah, I also believe it's both... he always said he fell like his 21 and not his really age... But then he acts likes he's 14 and I was so naive, whatever, I learned at least. I think his has an identity problem, maybe he would like to be someone that he can't...
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It's true...
And really thanks to everyone, you are helping a lot since the beggining... I felt so desperate and confused and sometimes I still feel. Everydays, everyone words help me a lot smile. It's really god to talk and meet different people and learn with them and I'm very grateful to all you. smile
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You're welcome Patt .. however, I just want to add something for your future reference when you find another boy to love ....
... all males (straight) LOVE to look at the female body (especially naked), and they will indeed look at porn, magazines, ladies butts walking down the street .. they will look until one of two things happen .. 1) they died, or 2) became blind
You said you freaked out when he was looking at porn .. and I just wanted you to know that it's normal for men to do this. It doesn't mean that they don't want you .. it has no consequence to their feelings for their woman.
Anyway .. I'm glad you found some insight smile
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_Patt_: No, I personally, don't think you are going to hear from him anytime soon. The reason why I say this is because this Virgo guy is very mixed up and young. An 18 year old can be very selfish and only think of themselves, especially when they have some emotional issues. This Virgo guy seems to be confused of what he wants so he lashes out in anger and the silent treatment. Man, I dislike it myself when a guy I like just shuts down. However, you must respect his need to be alone now. Therefore there is no need to take contact with him. It will not get you anywhere. It's like a control issue. The more you contact him, he knows where he has you. You have to let him be and let him think/sort out his issues. Virgos like to think about everything and if you push them, they will push you away. Sometimes they will disappear for good because they don't want to deal with someone who won't let them be. Yes, in the beginning it's hard to let go, but sometimes a girl has to do just that to keep her self-respect. Remember the saying: If you love someone, set them free, and if they come back to you, it was meant to be, and if they don't, they were never yours to begin with". I live by this motto because it's a reality. So for your own sanity, please take a step back and give yourself time to think. Do you really want uncertainty or stability? Do you want someone to be just as in love with you as you are with them? I would gather you would like stability and for someone to be just as in love with you as you are them. However, time has a way putting things in place for us. No matter how much we might want something, it always happens when it's suppose to.
There are guys that past through are lives. Some leave a lasting impression and others are just easily forgotten. Since you lost your virginity to this guy, he will more than likely be one you will always remember. Therefore hold on to the memories you have shared with him and go with that. Have faith, but also live your life as that is your right to do.
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P-Angel: I believe that's the tough reality... I don't know if you understand but I feel really jealous just imagining the man I like "drooling" for another woman... It's like I feel I must be the one he looks at...maybe it's a Leo woman personality thing, I don't know. How can I deal with that?

Mystical: Yeah... I want stability and someone who loves as I love him. And true, what has to be, has to be, no matter what we want or do. I'll keep my faith as you said and also moving on my life. I'm lucky in being a happy person, I mean I'm always joking and with good mood, if I wasn't like that I'd be doomed...falling into depression. I don't deny I cry sometimes, it's normal since I love him, but then I try to cheer myself up and also think about other things. *sighs*

WernerOne: Thanks again =).
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P-Angel: I meant the ONLY one he must looks at...
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