Please Help ME!!!!

This topic was created in the Virgo forum by varies on Sunday, March 11, 2007 and has 48 replies.
i've been lurking around trying to understand virgo men ever since i met this virgo guy.
we met early of last year and we had a good time throughout and he finally kissed me on the fourth date which I totally had to stop him from going all the way. i thought things were well until one night i texted him and said i was coming over to wake him up jokingly and he called me 20 minutes later and said he had a girlfriend and told me not to bother him anymore. i believe he got caught and had to tell me. i was extremely hurt, but i really wanted to understand how he could be such a cruel person because i thought he was decent and wonderful person.
well after awhile, i wanted details and he never answered me if he had a girlfriend and he said it's because i was way too attracted to him and all he wanted was "friends with benefits" kind of relationship. i told him "no" and he said he loved me and missed me through text, but i stood firm. he wanted to go watch a movie and play pool like old times, but when we scheduled he never showed up. i finally found through acquaintances that he does have a gf which i ratted him out. he said he couldn't help it because i was such a awesome girl who he was totally attracted to and still wanted to talk to, but he was weak and couldn't help himself. he kept on saying he wanted to still be friends because he has never met many girls like me that is so down to earth, but he will leave it to me.
we are so alike, we have so much chemistry, he takes words out of my mouth and vice versa that it is hard for me not to say no to not being friends with him. my mind says no, but my heart wants to be friends with him because we click so well. why the heck is he still with his gf if he's fooling at times sexually whether on text, email, or one time in person. his relationship is not strong and obviously there is something missing that he's looking to me. Someone help explain this to me. Dy you seem to help many people. Please help me understand. I'm an Aries.
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no not at all. i really don't know what to do. i wish it was a joke. please help. i was going crazy the whole time. are virgos this messed up that they can't even tell people they have gf. He's 26.
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i really do like him and if he would have told me earlier that he has a gf then i would not have develop geniune feelings for him and i told him this, but for whatever reason he was weak. of course i want more, but i don't know if my heart can bear just being friends with him. we connect so well that it's hard for me not to be somehow in his life. i think that is why he can't seem to let me go to. ahhhh...this is driving me nuts.
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no i want everyone, but dy does give good advice from what i have been reading, but the more the merrier. i am really confused on what to do. as an aries i like to evaluate all the comments and then make my decision so please respond and help.
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please archer respond. i want EVERYONE's perspective.
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can you please explain archer. i don't think i am thinking straight anymore. Sad
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i don't know notso07. is it possible for a girl to be friends with a guy when we both have feelings for each other. he said if we do anything, we'll need to do something with a lot of people so we don't get tempted. i have never been in this situation so i don't know. is it possible?
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yeah, i totally want him to leave his gf, because i don't understand why the heck he is with her since he's been talking to me. is it really that strong. why the heck is he still wanting to be friends when he has been revealed?
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I think he told you what he expects from you already.. friends with benefits. The rest is just a load of crap to get you to that point.
And yes, virgos can definitely be that cruel and so can anyone else.
My friend was dating a Virgo and when she wouldn't have sex with him he cut her off. Of course she was so into him that she called him and he said "If I go back, will you give it up?" she refused and he said "Then No" Anyway, he was already seeing someone else sooooo
It's an ego thing, to have their way. They get bent on it and will use any tricks to get what they want including saying he loves you.. that's too easy. Why would he be considerate?
Oh, and by being an ass to you.. like turning you down at times or not showing up.. that's just for kicks (to them)
Breaking someones heart is not a big issue to some people. They'll do it at the snap of their fingers if they feel like it and you let them.
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yes i'm mad, hurt, but in the end i still freakin' care and this is why i hold on, but truthfully am i holding on to lies again? i spoke to him and he said he was sensitive and he doesn't have that many friends. he's attractive to me and he thought i was a cool girl, but he never fully outright told me he had a gf when i asked him about the call late at night after i texted him which i thought he was drunk, but i found out he doesn't drink and his gf probably found out and told him to call me and yell at me. but yet again he still continues to talk to me and text me and says he looks forward to my email and text which is why he responds so fast.
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"I apologize if I am bombarding with questions. Tell me to stop, and I will. It is just that I believe the answers to our own dilemmas lay within ourselves."
Very true, and I think she knows it's not possible. Well.. it is.. but think of the pain!
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i know notso, but he's my mind and my heart that is battling it out. my mind says no this is bad. my heart says why not you guys are both attracted to each other. ohhh one more thing. he met his gf 2 weeks before me and he wished we met under difference circumstances. No not at all. Bring it on Notso. This fire sign is ready. smile
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Answer's to Notso question:
tempted to do what?
Kisses and all the above but the home run smile

varies, do you want to have to be in an environment where your behavior must be monitored/restricted?
No, but to have someone in my life that i truly care for then i would have to revert my answer to yes.
even if you are around him in the presence of alot of people, will you be content with that kind of relationship?
Honestly, I really don't know. Maybe by trying a few times i might get my answer.
""is it possible?""
Do you think so? Honestly?
honestly, the way i am, i think i would go nuts, but it will drive me nuts if i don't know. this is my heart. my mind is telling me no. such a battle.

""why the heck is he still wanting to be friends when he has been revealed? ""
wasn't this my question? i don't know.
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i'm strong. i won't put out until i love someone and right now although i have emotions for him i will not in any chance put out until he leaves his gf. i told him i would never do the friends with benefits thing - this was before i didn't cleary know he had a gf and now that i know
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Wow, can't he get it from his gf? this is really disappointing. whatever happen to nice guys that care for who you are and not what's between your legs.
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why would he comment spending time with me with lots of people and trying to be acquantances and i told him i don't really have acquaintances and he said well friends. i told him i don't really have friends. all my friends are close friends. he said well i can start another tier. it's what he's feeding me that gives me this hope. if he just would stop and blow me off, i would just be so liberated and free.
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yes, emotions does weaken me and i hate every bit of it. i am only human. smile
can you explain this statement?
Telling him you want to be more than friends, but not while he has a gf does not coincide with hanging around him, even if there are lots of people around.
i never did the friends with benefits thing and i would only be just friends with him if things continue.
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thanks notso. i'm just so confused because my mind and heart is truly battling each other now. he has in a way respected me by not going all the way and saying let's take it slow and be friends and being around people so we don't get tempted. is he feeding me lies again - i am obviously too confused and blind to see. ugghhh...i hate this.
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why do i want to be friends with him?
We have so many interest that are the same, we insult each other in a funny way that we get each other, we are attracted to each other, he takes the words out of my mouth and i do to him. we're really compatable and if he just freakin' told me in the beginning that he had a gf i would have not developed these damn feelings for him.
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so what you're saying notso is that i should just let this go, because he's scum and feeding me lies? i want to take it to the friends level to see if he is truly sincere and if he again is feeding me lies. if he is this fire sign will really tell the gf everything. should i? i think this girl has a right to know.
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that's the thing notso. he is worth my time because this will give me the peace of mind. i had a sense he was lying to me before about clarifying a gf, but as of now, i think he is finally truthful to me since i told him if you're not - i'm gone.
i don't know if she will believe me, but doesn't she have the right to know?
I love you NOTSO. you rock in trying to help me with my craziness. smile
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thanks branh. i do need to move on. i hate this battle between my mind and heart.
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i just have that "hope" and that is what is driving me nuts.
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Notso what do you think i personally need to do and all the others too?
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ahhh...you so such like a wonderful person notso. we need more people like you in this world.
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""he is worth my time...""
how/why?
-when i care for someone then yes they are worth my time.

""i had a sense he was lying to me before about clarifying a gf,...""
given his track record, what is stopping him from lying to you again? and how would you know if he were?
i know i know, how can you keep doing this? don't people get to a point where they're like ok i'm going to tell the truth and i told him no matter how much it suck/hurts tell me the truth. is that hard to understand? ughhh...

""i don't know if she will believe me, but doesn't she have the right to know?""
is it your responsibility to tell her?
he should, but i don't think he has. someone needs to let this girl know. don't you think she should know? i would want to know and if i don't believe them so be it, but i would start asking this guy questions as to why this chick is saying things.
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it's hard antibling to find someone so like you. why would he say we'll would you let me know if you want to still talk to me. you can tell me later and if you don't want to talk to me then it's ok, but if you find out that you do in two months then let me know. why say this when you dont mean it? why hurt someone again and again? if someone is this cruel then i give up.
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awww branh you break my heart. Sad but i do in a sense know what you are telling me. smile
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WOW. Branh do you have no heart?
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oh notso. i do know that i might be hurting myself again, but my mind will wonder and wonder and will not rest until i see if this guy is fooling me again. am i dumb? i just need to know for sure.
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no he has not asked if i met anyone else.
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this is really hard and because i have these feelings for him it makes it worst to think straight and it's his fault. can i send you guys the letter i sent him?
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haha branh you crack me up. i'm not that dumb Winking
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i did ask him and he said he doesn't have many friends that are fun and understand him. he said i didn't feed you this to try to get into your pants, i really enjoy your company and i was weak and i should have told you. in a sense i don't think both of us are ready to let each other go.
i don't know if i can be friends with him.
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you are right notso. i am making my own choices to keep it going. for this i hate myself and driving myself crazy
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Varies,
He used you, he treated you like dirt, lied to you, and you still want him? You have no self-respect.
I would let his girlfriend know what a two-timing sh1t he is. Then, when he comes crawling to you after she dumps him (presuming she has any seld-respect), stub your cigarette out on his balls, and tell him where he can stick it.
Now *that's* a woman!
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Ladies,
Hold out for what you want! It will come, once you tell the Universe that you will not, cannot, do not, put up with losers!
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thanks eagle girl. i know what all of you guys are saying. thanks so much. slap me, slap me, slap me. smile
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thanks notso. you have great wisdom and have help me think this through. much love. smile anymore. please!!!
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"Nice girls are homely looking, has some feature I don't like, fat, or just butt ugly."
lol - classic branh!
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blingy! smile
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Branh is not right.
A lot of men will wait for you if you are the one. Ladies, if you sell yourself short, you will not be respected. Why don't you just admit that you want sex too, instead of trying to say that "men are more physical."
Antibling: telling the girlfriend is not spiteful, it's rough justice, He lied to her -- that was wrong....and I wasn't trying to imply any type of "girls stand together" ideal. I was simply (jokingly, actually -- but you didn't get that) telling the girl to get some self respect and get angry at being treated badly.
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scopiogoat, you are too much. game playing is not withing me or is it? Winking
you kinda are contradicting yourself by saying tell him to be a true friend and ask him to promise to never have sex with you during our friendship (which I have) and ask him to turn me down when you are weak (which I haven't been yet) so i'm good. if i jump on him wouldn't that mean whenever he leaves his gf we already have had sex? this is where you contradict yourself. smile
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so i tortured myself and had a friendly lunch with him today. it was nice, but i do have feelings for him and i act like nothing is wrong. sigh...why do i torture myself.
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ahhh sweatheart, we have much in common. smile amen!!! and i know i need to back off, it's just he's so addicting that i can't help myself at times. i need to back off like you said and treat myself to doing something else in my spare time. it just really hard. Sad
i hear ya Fire Sign. smile
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Virgo men have indeed become a proverbial pain in my ass
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Pain in the ass...
AMEN to that! Tongue
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And as expected, now I'm getting the silent treatment...
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"Every thing DOES NOT have to be in words!" - I did not say so, virgos THINK that way
Winking.
You see, there is a lot in the silent message/s if you can see beneth the surface and imagine the things that exist when they don't really do so. Again, this is Virgos' strategy- not mine.
I think they all should be dumb as they speak and advice and bluff when they should not have done so and keep silent when the need to SPEAK UP!
Good Luck.
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