Please Help Me Understand Virgo

I am simply seeking some understanding and hopefully some advice from any one who can provide any.

I have been talking with my virgo of interest for almost 2-1/2 months. I found him online and got the confidence to message him, without expecting anything in return. He messaged me back and we hit it off pretty well. We talked almost every day, if not every other day (for the first few weeks) about anything and discovered we share many interests. We made plans to meet up but we had conflicting work schedules. One day we were going to meet up, but he had to change plans to meet with a friend visiting in town. What I though was super sweet, was he kept messaging me throughout the evening while he was with his friends. He also invited me to meet up with them that night, but I had already made other plans and sadly couldn't make it.

The bizarre thing is that it turned out that we work in the same building, and so we visited each other a few times. As time kept going, I liked what was going on and my interest in him kept growing. We even came up with nick names for each other.

Now, where I'm pretty sure I messed up, is one evening I couldn't think of anything else but him. So I asked if it was a good time to talk on the phone, but he said to message him. So I basically said that I liked him and that I hoped it doesn't push him away if he doesn't feel the same. I then proceeded to ask how he felt (big mistake, I know). He responded that what he knew of me so far, he liked, but didn't know me well enough to make any kind of judgement. That conversation ended by me saying that I simply wanted to get to know him better because I was interested in him, and I changed the subject. After this is when I started to hear less from him.

At the beginning the communication was mutual, but now I mostly don't hear from him unless I initiate some kind of communication.My only concern is that he thinks I'm moving on. When we do speak, things are fine, but it's usually only for a few moments. We don't have full conversations like we used to.

I am a pretty patient person and I am willing to wait, because I truly feel that he can be the one and I really do like him, though we don't know each other too well. I some how just have a feeling and know. The thing that is troubling me is that he and this situation run through my mind all day. Perhaps I simply need some clarity and understanding as to why I don't hear from him like I used to. I realize now that I've probably been too forward, and so I have been contacting him less to give him space. I'm really working hard at not letting this get to me, and it's not, I've been keeping myself and my mind pretty busy. I know that I am probably over-analyzing this while situation.

Did I truly push him away by being so direct? Do you guys think I should ask him why we don't talk like we used to? I don't want to make it seem like I am making him the bad guy, nor do I want to make things awkward by asking him this. I almost want to just give it time without saying anything about the communication and casually message him once in a while. I understand that he may be needing his space and needs time to think. I would like to know what you guys make of this situation. Any suggestions on what I can do?

You initiate most of the conversation and your only concern is he thinks you are moving on? Your concern should be why he is not initiating conversation and you SHOULD move on because he's not interested.

Did I truly push him away by being so direct? Yes

You don't hear from him because you made the FATAL mistake that so many women make, you put your feelings out on the table before him, his reaction to that is WHOA! I never gave her any indication that she should be this serious about me, then he realizes you may not have other men around and thus you wanna tie a noose around his neck and tie him to your bed, feed him 3 square meals a day and no bathroom breaks so of course he's a bit turned off, maybe even a bit scared and now he's gone.

Do you guys think I should ask him why we don't talk like we used to? No, you'll only appear desperate, go talk to other guys, take the focus off of him and relax, he'll be back around if he's still interested in connecting with you.

Any suggestions on what I can do? STOP INITIATING contact, if he has an inkling of desire for you, he'll contact you, don't chase him down to get his attention, WON'T WORK. Leave it alone for now, if there is an opportunity to reconnect he'll make sure to initiate contact with you.

He's not contacting you because he don't want to give you the WRONG impression that he's committing himself to get to know you, too much pressure, doesn't mean he's gone for good but clearly he felt the need to minimize contact with you as to not get your hopes up and to balance out your expectations. You just moved way too fast, next time chill out, let the guy initiate the "I LIKE YOU AND WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU TALK" you really shouldn't feel the need to have these kind of talks unless your desperate for companionship and if your not desperate then don't do desperate behaviors around men or you'll experience more rejection and man does it hurt when that happens especially when it could be AVOIDED by just keeping cool and taking your time to get to know a man.

I noticed your DXP name is taurman....Are you a guy as well? Not that it matters just curious

Posted by tiki33
I noticed your DXP name is taurman....Are you a guy as well? Not that it matters just curious

i wonder as well lol


hey tiki i missed ya lmao.

Hi Legend! miss you too *hugs*

Virgo's don't like being bothered, and often pull back if they think another person is going to be intrusive into their life.


That doesn't mean the Virgo likes, nor dislikes you any more or less ... he likely hasn't even connected his feelings towards you to his sudden concern about maybe you might be intrusive upon him, and his time and attention .. I know my Virgo is like that.


My Virgo husband will pick up his cell phone and see his sister calling, then quickly put the phone back down and not answer.
If he answers, he thinks she might think it's ok to call him again, maybe even think it's ok to show up on our doorstep.
His fondness for his sister never enters the equation ... his only thoughts are based around being disturbed.
If an inch is given, then the other person might take a mile.


In the 29 years of marriage I've spent with this man, never has the situation happened that he pulled away to try and distance himself from a person he likes .. at least in his mind. It may have been interpretated that way by the other person, but, it was never his intention. In fact, he would likely be highly upset if the other person thought he was pushing them away.

The thoughts aren't ever towards having a desire to move the other direction, away from one of his people ..... his thoughts have always turned toward his time/space being taken advantage of if he isn't on constant guard of it.

In your case, he knows how you feel. You have given him sufficient indication that you would like to pursue the possibility of developing a relationship on a different level.

He took this information in, and immediately went into freak-out mode. Not freaking out because he fears in any way about relationship terms or commitments .. rather, if you like him that much, then you might be compelled to show up one day unannounced, and that would be intrusive.

So, you should just slow your roll, take a step back and let him come to terms with grasping that you aren't pounding on his door, blowing up his phone, nor crowding his work cubicle .. yet, still interested.

Thanks for the feedback and suggestions. I really appreciate it and it gives me some reassurance. I know that I need to give him some time and space, but stubbornness (taurus) and uncertainty is what is having me want to be constantly wanting to talk to him.

The thing is that I joined the online dating without even wanting or expecting to find anyone. I tired it for kicks, but unexpected, I found some one that I was really interested in. As mentioned before, I was the first to initiate contact through the site, and he said that he liked what I had to say, and later made it clear that he had some kind of interest in me. So I feel confident that I did grab his attention in a good way.

Oh, and yes, Tiki and Legend, I am a guy. I find it hard to meet other guys in which I find a true attraction and interest in wanting to possibly have a relationship with. While I am comfortable with my dating preference, I am unassuming. I also tend to be attracted to guys who are about the same, or who are minimally effeminate. For that reason I have not dated very much. I have been on a hiatus when it comes to dating, but I feel that I am at a point in my life where I feel the need to find someone.

With many other guys, I usually feel, oh, he's just another gay guy, but with him I don't think of it that way. It is obvious that he is gay, but he doesn't put me out of my level of comfort. I know that he is one of the first few that I have found a true interest in, but again, I really feel that there is something there. I mean things were going pretty well, until i dropped the ball and scared him off. That's the last thing that I wanted to do. It just happened to be one of those things that I said, and immediately regretted doing it.

I've been working hard at not letting this get to my emotions. I did message him today, and got a response. But I am promising myself to wait a while longer. I recently got a new job and I've been working on some projects at home, so that has been keeping me busy and keeps my mind a bit off this situation. Today I was trying to analyze this from a perspective outside of my own mind. I tend to be somewhat like P-Angel's husband, in that I will ignore people for some time. I like to have my own space to take care of myself, until I am ready to continue. So that kind of got me thinking that I truly need to trust my instinct and lay back.

Thanks for the comments and suggestions!

I know that there is more to someone as well as dating other than their signs, but I would really like to believe that the taurus/virgo compatibility would work in this situation.

I truly want to minimize the image that I may be smothering him. I just have to be strong on my part and minimize my thoughts of him. I'll have to deal with the fact that he is just a few yards away from me when at work (his company is down the hall from me) and that I see his car in the garage almost every day at work.

It feels good to talk to some one who can give some true insight and not simply say to completely forget and move on. I will keep you updated on how this is going for me. Thanks again! Any other feedback is welcome 🙂

I have to comment because i too just recently went thru what you are .....Point blank he has to reevaluate you now since you expressed that you care and want to move to the next level .... he has given you signs he's interested and if that is the case he is just really tryin to get to know you better and wants to see if you are gonna be able to just enjoy your time with him....that is in order to get to know you better...thats what they do when they dont know you....


I expressed myself to my virgo and he responded by actin the same way yours did....I seen he wasnt initiatin conversations like he used too..make plans and break em.. but that is one of their test.....P-Angel says her husband virgo didnt act anything like this ....does that mean you and your virgo knew eachother pretty well b4 you got deep with eachother....

cause now, my virgo comes around more calls and says the sweetest things....tikki33.and. p angel said it was only a fwb thing but he has said exactly what i needed to hear about what is goin on and it certainly is not that ....
when mine tested me...bein direct about what ever was the best cure cause he responded to that very well...because now i have proven results that it is ok..to be direct and express your feelings dont ask about his (that will only aggitate him)let him come to you with how he feels...Believe me ,you will hear his thoughts of things in due time...just be positive to him ...dont express negativity ...the moment he senses that, it will be an even longer process...my virgo..he comes nowevery other night(not even to have sex)we talk all night and lose track of time...we have not argued about anything...so we have been pretty damnn good since i told him how i felt and stormed out of our mutual friends house and told him i would stay the fuck out of each of their lives for good...now everything I said that night has us 2 completely on a good note...he says he never knew i felt that way and that he was hurtin me that bad and that he would try to be there more because he does not wanna lose me and that he is not goin anywhere...he is just worried about his case that goes to trial...but if you know how you feel and you enjoy bein with him just do that it will be ok ....he shows you he doesnt care to see how much you do and if you will be able to be there for him even though he is not being much of a friend to you right now

I know it's only been a few days since I last messaged him, but I feel like I'm holding on well. I'm keeping on track with my life and trying not to dwell so much. I really have been trying to think about this from his point of view. Like mentioned before, I too tend to hold back many times with certain people. Sometimes I feel like I've had enough and wait a while till I get back to them. (hm, sounds like I have a few virgo characteristics in me). I tend to like my independence and am a loner, in the sense that I don't constantly need people around. Point being, I'm trying to relate to how he may be acting.

24capgal18, I appreciate you sharing your story, It helps give me assurance that there is a the possibility for things to work out. Just curious, how long from the time you had the feelings talk did it take for him to get back? I agree that asking him his feelings is not the way to go. I could tell (even though through messaging) that when I previously asked him he kinda was in freak-out mode. I will wait a while before I ask anything like "why don't we talk like we used to" or simply just say "I miss talking like we used to. I enjoy talking to you and would still like to have the opportunity to getting to know each other. I realize that I may have come off as too forward, and I recognize that you need room to breathe." I don't want to put him on the spot again. I have definitely never expressed negativity. The last thing I want to do is make people seem like the bad guy in any situation.

I know and have helped one of his co-workers when I was at my previous job. I know that she knows that we have been talking. His birthday was the end of August. She came into my work and said, "you know it was _____'s birthday yesterday right? Did you tell him happy birthday?" I said, of course I did. And then she said, "Good!" Which made me know that he has talked to her. My question for you guys is, should I ask her if he has mentioned anything to her about us, or if she knows anything? I don't want to push it too far and be too inquisitive, him possibly find out I asked her and get completely freaked out.

I apologize for the ranting, I like to be detailed in explaining things.

I have faith that he will come around at some point. I mean, I got his attention, he's followed this far along, and he still calls me by my nick name.

24capgal18, a question I forgot to ask earlier. I know I asked how long the communication break was, but how did you manage? For me it's been almost two months that we speak minimally, but again, when we do talk it's fine. Sometimes it's like waiting for that package in the mail and you keep checking the online status to see when it will arrive. I'm going strong, I'm being patient, but it/he still runs through my mind.

For the record I don't believe anything 24capgal is saying, NOTHING NADA ZILCH, she's definitely an fwb and would like others to believe otherwise, there is a 99.99999% chance of her going from FWB his exact words from her deleted post "I can't see myself with you" to full on exclusivity (she may be exclusively his FWB booty call but she sure isn't his girlfriend) in a matter of days sorry not happening especially not with a virgo man with that being said Taurman no offense and yes this is the internet but you really need to find something else to do and go out on a few dates with other men to get rid of the desperate vibe you got going on right now, the vibe alone can make a man back off and to be honest you were way too forward too soon.

His not contacting you alone is a sign that he's not available for whatever it is you want with him and that you should definitely continue to look and pursue other men because in all honesty this guy isn't the ONLY guy on the planet that you'll feel chemistry with, go have fun, go have sex, go do something besides worrying about initiating communication with him. You know if this guy was interested in you he would contact you, I don't have to tell you that. Don't wait for anyone, waiting creates desperation but what you can do is go out on dates, pursue other things like hobbies etc, go out friends, develop your life and make new friends if you don't have any. You can't force the guy in your life by initiating but initiating will make you appear to have no life, no man around and you don't want that. Just a thought and I know you are here for support so i don't want to rain on your parade b/c you may enjoy fixating/obsessing about the guy but I'm just nudging you to stay on track and put you and your life first, this guy really isn't that important, least not more important than you.

tiki33, thanks for the honest and direct input. I accept that I was too forward and scared him off. That is why I am trying to back off now so that I don't make things worse. I really want to believe that he will come around. I have been keeping busy. Like I said I have a new job, so that itself is keeping my mind busy. I've also been keeping busy with other things. I do have a close knit circle of friends. I tend to like and spend more time alone, working on things that I have going on at home. I've meet a lot of great people at work and am bound to create some friendships there. It's just myself making things complicated and over analyzing. I am keeping busy and going forward with my own life, but I always tend to dwell on other things at the same time. So that's what gets me in a funk sometimes. Typical taurus I would say. I just don't want to lose what I feel could be an amazing.

I'll update on how things are going soon. And thanks again for the comments!

24capgal18 doesn't have a Virgo, Taurman

Posted by taurman

It is obvious that he is gay ....

Maybe it's not obvious to him, and once he realized you wanted him "that way", instead of just buds ... he backed off to show you his door only swings one way.

When people catch feelings about another, they pretty much have zero discerning abilities about whether or not the other is into them ... and basically believes everything the other is doing is an obvious signal of interest ... even when the other person is completely and utterly ignoring them or being mean.

Perhaps, what you should be doing is attempting to remove your feelings from the situation and make damn sure you aren't waiting for a straight guy who is just a Metro .... because you certainly don't want to make any more contact with him if you don't really know he's gay and doing this off of a hunch based on it looking obvious to you.

You might have insulted him, and to further contact him would definitely be wrong, then

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by taurman

It is obvious that he is gay ....

Maybe it's not obvious to him, and once he realized you wanted him "that way", instead of just buds ... he backed off to show you his door only swings one way.

When people catch feelings about another, they pretty much have zero discerning abilities about whether or not the other is into them ... and basically believes everything the other is doing is an obvious signal of interest ... even when the other person is completely and utterly ignoring them or being mean.

Perhaps, what you should be doing is attempting to remove your feelings from the situation and make damn sure you aren't waiting for a straight guy who is just a Metro .... because you certainly don't want to make any more contact with him if you don't really know he's gay and doing this off of a hunch based on it looking obvious to you.

You might have insulted him, and to further contact him would definitely be wrong, then

click to expand

We met on an online dating site, it's a known fact that he is gay. We definitely expressed interest to each other in the beginning. Now I would say that he did back off when he realized I wanted him, as you say, "that way." And you know what, I wouldn't mind if we were just friends. I tend to get overly excited when I find something interesting and move at a fast pace. I never intended/expected anything out of it, but I would like a chance. I'm definitely not looking for someone to have relations with, I would like to have a good, strong relationship.

Posted by Pb

Posted by virg_goki
hardest to date, easiest once married; you can definitely expect criticism from a virgo once married LOL


the second part is just a joke

Lmao@ hardest to date.. I believe so too. We have many standards, people can see us as difficult because they never bother to see & admire the fact that we are one of few who will stick to our guns despite what society says we should or shouldn't do. We are indeed a quiet/tranquil force to be reckoned w/, the deadliest, the kind you never see coming until it has striked. We are the camouflaged cheetah in the bush preparing to pounce, the steady alligator inching up on you fluidly...

And sometimes we are far worse than some other signs when it comes to commitment because we are picky & deserve only the finest. We are the untouchable bachelors and bachelorettes of the Zodiac!

click to expand

Funny how you describe yourself, as far as being a Virgo. I feel that I am that way myself many times. I am picky and do have expectations. Sure, things aren't always perfect, and I am willing to look past the things that don't always meet my expectations. From what I've observed, Virgo and Taurus are very much similar.

Now Pb, tell me something. What would you think if I were to tell him, that I still have an interest in him, that I realize that I was too forward and moved too fast in expressing that I liked him. I want him to know that I want to continue to get to know him better, and that I don't want to set any expectations and am willing to go at a steady pace.

Normally I'm able to shrug things off when they don't work out, because I can always strive for something better, but I know that I have found a great, quality person.

What opinions do you give from a Virgo perspective?

It's not about what you want...I know it's hard to deal with what looks like rejection or is rejection, it's really hard to stay balanced inside when a person is backing away especially a person you feel you shared a deep attraction for, most people want to fix it so they can fix their bruised ego's or try to fix it to make the other person see how great they are which is a sign of approval seeking and that in itself is a turn off.

I know you "want" to tell him you messed up and want to be friends but what I don't think you realize is how needy that behavior translates over to the other person and that's were I find the difficulty in helping someone see that wanting is a sign of neediness, trying to fix something that went off track is a sign of desperation and neediness, a person that isn't wanting is typically okay with things not working out and will leave it alone and allow some time and space so that preferably there will be another chance to pick it up again much later.

I'm not a virgo but I honestly don't feel this has a lot to do with his sign, he's not interested (enough) yet and it appears you can't handle it.

And have you ever thought, while you are ruminating over ways to fix it, that the Virgo is 10 steps ahead of you and silently observing your behavior and making his own observations and judgments about you without your knowledge in his own attempts to feel you out on his own without any distractions?

You admitted yourself you move fast...Virgo's will not move as quickly, you really have to respect that about his sign or you'll drive yourself bonkers. I'm not saying virgo's never move fast but they typically move at his/her own pace no matter what.

I kelpted goin on by just showin i cared listenin when he had somethin on his mind, his bday just past and we stayed together for those 3days in a row,,,mostly the break periods we have is a few days of him poutin about somethin that bothered him...now we have been gettin alone great about everything...when i just went with the flow he came to me told me that he really cared about me and didnt want to lose me...he knows that he had be dismissin his feelins but he really does have them and he doesnt want what happened in the past to happen...he says he has only been in 2 serious relationships...includin me is in the equation because we relate on all levels but to just be patient with him....the other night he spent the night and i took a xanax pill...so ya know i was chillin...he told me that the real reason why we had been movin so slow on his end is because he sees that my baby daddy is gonna be a problem so he wants me to move aways from where he can just continuously come over startin shit about nothin gettin me all rawled up..... so my situation is a little more complex than yours but we made our thang official....that was tittle night which was the next day after his bday



so back to tikki33 i didnt erase shit i was deleted if yo crazy ass pay attention to the name it is not even spelled the same ... that goes to show you payin way to much damn attentio nto me booboo...you must want to give me that pussy...


Maybe i was erased for makin coments like that IDK

anyways yea my shit started off like that and i did just tell it like that so bein on a side that y waste time explain to you who aint in this everybody doin the forum so if anything listen to no one on here for advice if that is the case cause every one talkin on virgos they fucked with or what ever and it just so happens that mine was fortunately startin off as fwb sssoooooo what

Actually@24capgal I don't really care LOL....I didn't see the post so I assumed you deleted it, if you didn't then no big deal and yeah you are over functioning, giving the man money and baking cakes LOL keep doing that. You can't won't ever make me believe you are still not an FWB if you are the one giving him money and baking cakes LOL....sorry boo boo it doesn't work like that, being Ms.Nice won't change a damn thing and begging for loving through pampering him will get you nowhere, you will be in that FWB box for a long time but guess what, I DON'T CARE so stop looking for my approval by talking to me about your ass backwards nonsensical situaiton, move along. Oh and the pussy comment is just crude, I won't even go there.

"so my situation is a little more complex than yours but we made our thang official....that was tittle night which was the next day after his bday"

Oh and it seems you were official in the other post almost a month prior to his birthday and now you are official AFTER his birthday...Stop the lies, no one really cares 24capgal, being an FWB is not the end of the world.

Posted by tiki33

And have you ever thought, while you are ruminating over ways to fix it, that the Virgo is 10 steps ahead of you and silently observing your behavior and making his own observations and judgments about you without your knowledge in his own attempts to feel you out on his own without any distractions?

You admitted yourself you move fast...Virgo's will not move as quickly, you really have to respect that about his sign or you'll drive yourself bonkers. I'm not saying virgo's never move fast but they typically move at his/her own pace no matter what.

I've definitely thought about what he has going on with his thoughts and observations. I haven't changed who I am, because I feel that I was able to capture his attention at the beginning by just being myself. (Being something different would never work out, because if things are going well, then down the road either you're stuck being something you're not or cause damage when you expose who you really are). He clearly said that he liked what he knew of me, but couldn't form an opinion on whether he liked me. I can handle that, we don't know each other well enough to do so.

I am starting to understand he may be moving at a slower pace now and I respect his time and space. I am just a hard core analyzer, of all things. Even when things are going well in my life and I'm enjoying it, I will always have a/several thoughts or ideas in the back of my mind that I will dwell over until worked out or resolved. Like you said before, it is hard to stay balanced when there is uncertainty. That's just my thought process.

You know, whether things work out or not, which work out would be great, haha, I'm glad that I can share my thoughts on here. Sometimes it's not that easy with friends. They listen but will say: "just get out of it, Forget him, Oh well."

Hmmm I see some things never change. I kinda feel you CAP with the testing thing. I dont think its an intentional "I will test her and see how she responds" but more of an "it will be interesting to see how this turns out".

Im dealing with a virgo and its...very different than my ex Gemini. The communication lines with them are odd. This guy and I met a while back and we talked for a couple weeks, he got upset when my brother did the whole overprotective brother scene "who are you, what do you want with my sister". lol My brother actually liked him tho, but he decided he didnt appreciate it and it seemed like he would never get over it so we kinda fell out and stopped talking. A couple weeks ago he hits me up saying he thought it was silly to let that get in the way of knowing one another. We picked back up and mostly talk everyday. My confusion comes in that he seems distant sometimes, even when we're in one anothers company, but if I equally pull away he gets concerned. He's more how I imagined a Gemini to be with the 2 sides thing. When we're together he's usually very engaged or very standoffish. And this can happen in a matter of minutes. I dealt with a Virgo before and I understand that they usually like the other person to break the ice as far as liking one another, but it must be done VERY softly. I try small sincere compliments to let him know that I do appreciate him, but sometimes he doesn't respond, kinda a "yeah ok", and other times its a grand scene with a huge smile and a hug. He likes to "play the dozens" as he calls it until I get snappy then he professes how much I turn him on when I get sarcastic with him (which totally threw me off the first time he said it)Is this typical Virgo behavior? At first I thought he was being shady, but then I realized he DOES really sit in the house doing mostly nothing. Then I thought he was shy, but now I think its more calculating/analytical. But in all of ya'll opinions is there any way I can find out his intentions?

Posted by tiki33
Actually@24capgal I don't really care LOL....I didn't see the post so I assumed you deleted it, if you didn't then no big deal and yeah you are over functioning, giving the man money and baking cakes LOL keep doing that. You can't won't ever make me believe you are still not an FWB if you are the one giving him money and baking cakes LOL....sorry boo boo it doesn't work like that, being Ms.Nice won't change a damn thing and begging for loving through pampering him will get you nowhere, you will be in that FWB box for a long time but guess what, I DON'T CARE so stop looking for my approval by talking to me about your ass backwards nonsensical situaiton, move along. Oh and the pussy comment is just crude, I won't even go there.

your right absolutely....who gives a rats ass what you or anybody else thinks ....its complex no two situations are the same advice is advice heave to what you want believe what and who the hell ya want
good luck with ya relationship

Posted by SweetestFatale
Hmmm I see some things never change. I kinda feel you CAP with the testing thing. I dont think its an intentional "I will test her and see how she responds" but more of an "it will be interesting to see how this turns out".

Im dealing with a virgo and its...very different than my ex Gemini. The communication lines with them are odd. This guy and I met a while back and we talked for a couple weeks, he got upset when my brother did the whole overprotective brother scene "who are you, what do you want with my sister". lol My brother actually liked him tho, but he decided he didnt appreciate it and it seemed like he would never get over it so we kinda fell out and stopped talking. A couple weeks ago he hits me up saying he thought it was silly to let that get in the way of knowing one another. We picked back up and mostly talk everyday. My confusion comes in that he seems distant sometimes, even when we're in one anothers company, but if I equally pull away he gets concerned. He's more how I imagined a Gemini to be with the 2 sides thing. When we're together he's usually very engaged or very standoffish. And this can happen in a matter of minutes. I dealt with a Virgo before and I understand that they usually like the other person to break the ice as far as liking one another, but it must be done VERY softly. I try small sincere compliments to let him know that I do appreciate him, but sometimes he doesn't respond, kinda a "yeah ok", and other times its a grand scene with a huge smile and a hug. He likes to "play the dozens" as he calls it until I get snappy then he professes how much I turn him on when I get sarcastic with him (which totally threw me off the first time he said it)Is this typical Virgo behavior? At first I thought he was being shady, but then I realized he DOES really sit in the house doing mostly nothing. Then I thought he was shy, but now I think its more calculating/analytical. But in all of ya'll opinions is there any way I can find out his intentions?

ouchhh!!!! That shit sounds so familiar to what i was just goin thru...and then it can be some of the smallest things to make them turn around and want to go in to a whole do analyze(like wuzup with that )

I tell you a few tricks i tryed...
I hate rejection so since he ran back into his cave so did i ....he said he loved it when i was honest about how i felt and what i thoug

Guys, I'm driving myself bonkers. Since the last time that I posted on here, Virgo and I had a few interactions. We ran into each other a few times. Remember we both work in the same building, but different store. One of the times we crossed paths I expected him to just say hi and run off to get to work from his break. We actually stood in the garage for a few minutes chatting. I brought up the idea of meeting up the next week (which was last week) and he said that he wasn't sure what day's he was available but he would see. We work varying schedules where I may be working the morning and he may be working the evening and vice versa. We weren't able to meet up after all. We still talked about once a week and our conversations were moderate, in that we spoke about anything and they weren't too short nor too extensive. I went into his place of work last Thursday to check out and get a few things I wanted. Of course I hoped that I'd see him, and he was there, but he was leaving for the day. I kinda think he saw me but I was never in his direct line of sight. We spoke later that night and everything was fine. I went back in on Saturday to see if there was something I didn't get the few days before. He was there and I did talk to him for a bit, but being considerate I let him get to work so I didn't talk for long.

Now remember I was backing off and not initiating contact as often. I feel that it did work. And maybe I allowed myself to realize that I things can't move as fast as I'd like them to. But I think that I submerged myself with this contact and possibly moved a bit too fast again and was around a bit much. I texted him on Monday night and have not received a response yet. I don't want to contact him because again I don't want to seem like i'm all up in his space.

What do you guys make of what is going on? Did I move too fast and make myself too available? My problem is, I was fine with the idea of being single and not having some one to want to date. Now that I've found some one who I feel would be datable, I am driving myself nuts. I am working on realizing that I can continue as I was before, but I don't want to completely write him off yet. I would like to see where this goes, even if it takes a while longer. I am in no hurry to be somewhere, but I have always worked at a fast pace when it comes to working for things I desire.

Tiki, if you are reading this, please give me some insight. I feel you have the best w

Why are you chasing him? Honestly stop doing that! You are trying to hide your desperation but IMO you are not doing a good job hiding how desperate you feel to connect with him.

Please stop going to his place of work, that is just well creepy, you are pretending to need to buy something but in reality you are just hoping to run into him and do what? I dunno lol

Honestly I don't see anything indicating that he's really that into you, he isn't initiating any contact whatsoever, he's not initiating dates with you, he's not DEMONSTRATING any kind of interest in you beyond casual. Even as a gay man you know that chasing a man isn't going to get you very far.

Slow down, you want to date him and you have to get it right for that to happen, you have to do all the things YOU DON'T WANNA DO like being patient, not initiating contact, not going to his place of business for any reason, stop chasing him, you chase a man he'll run and his lack of response means he's RUNNING from you and you can't date a man that's running from you.

Let him "initiate" contact, when you see him next time, politely say hello, give him about 2 minutes and YOU END the conversation which should get him into chase mode, right now he's just not inspired to come after you SO INSPIRE HIM, don't be so available, when he initiate text messages (wait a day to answer) his text messages, KEEP THE ANTICIPATION GROWING INSIDE OF HIM, don't be so damn predictable and available.

Dating is hard enough in the straight world so I can only imagine trying to get a genuine connection in your world is so tough and hard to do but you have to BE PATIENT when you finally find that someone you are interested in or you can easily blow it.

So stop chasing, no more going to his work space, no more initiating contact of any kind online, via text, via email, let him DEMONSTRATE if he's interested in you and he has to DO something in order for you to know if he's interested.

I mean you can keep chasing him all you want but you see were it's getting thus far, it's getting you nowhere really, so save your energy and please please go out on other dates with OTHER MEN, stop sitting around WAITING for this guy to stop being lazy towards you, you are just CREATING MORE DESPERATION INSIDE OF YOURSELF by waiting on him like this, the desperation is pushing you to chase him b/c you just can't wait on him anymore, it's driving you mad so to stop all the desperate feelings...GO OUT ON OTHER DATES WITH OTHER MEN, go pursue other men, FORCE YOURSELF TO DO IT, you'll begin to adjust and accept that this ONE GUY isn't really all that important that you have to build up all these needy desperate feelings over him. There are other men out there that are equally interesting if not more interesting than he is.

Keep busy, try to connect with other men, chat with other men, have fun, talk, go out on casual short mini dates, do your best to keep moving forward while this ONE guy is stalling and not really showing any real interest, this could change if he notice that you are no longer chasing him and that you are no longer going out of your way to stand there and be available to him and talk to him for no more than 5 minutes, when you start MOVING AWAY from him that is when he'll most likely start to move towards you and start to chase and initiate but he can't do that if you are just there, available all the time.

He's a man, you know men right? So inspire him by being less available and less needy around him, right now he know he's the center of YOUR UNIVERSE, no need call you right away, no urgency to connect with you. Why? Because you are always available, so stop being available like that.

The next time he initiates contact MAKE HIM WAIT, don't text him for a whole day or match his responses, so for instance if he takes 3 days to answer your text messages, you take 3 days to answer his back, shit take 4 days LOL....This is how you get the ball running by being less available and less predictable.

Tiki is right!!! She's answered my posts about Virgo too, I've been having the same exact issues also. I'm like what is all this bullbutter?

It's so hard to play elusive/unavailable, but I'm going to try it also. Slowing down on my text messages not answering instantly. Today I waited two hours(I should probably take Tiki's advice and wait a day entirely), ill start that tonight. If he answers back I don't normally follow up now. I'm going to mysteriously disappear.

I honestly have ZERO idea why Virgo's are after me lately. The last six guys I've met over the past couple of months have all been Virgo's. Look if you want to be all closed up and non communicative don't talk to a Gemini! Leave us alone! >
I feel your frustration Taurman. I can tell you right now you are NOT alone in this.

To be clear I don't recommend game playing...This is more about being PATIENT, slowing things down and not appearing desperate to couple up because some people feel if a person is so desperate to connect and couple up then something is "WRONG" with that person, no one must like this person or the person is a loser, YOUR VALUE PLUMMETS in that persons eyes and the person begins to take less and less interest. How you "FRAME" yourself through how you value yourself around others means everything.

Behave like you have VALUE and others will treat you like your valuable but if you behave like your desperate then others will treat you like your desperate by stalling or even running in the other direction.

Having other options STAVES OFF DESPERATION and it staves off desperate feelings but when you hyper focus on ONE PERSON then that person feels PRESSURE to give you something be it attention or sex or love and he or she doesn't even KNOW YOU YET.

Having other options keeps you focused on yourself and your life and not so much on the other person which leaves OPEN a space for that person to COME to you and explore his or her interest in you.

You know, I love this place, and you guys because I get true and honest input and feedback. Because many times when I talk to a close friend/acquaintance, I feel things are always sugar coated. I prefer things to be straight to the point and honest. I suppose that's why I keep chasing, because I want to know the true outcome of things. I've always been an instant gratification person when it comes to something I desire. If there is something that I am sloooowwwly learning from this, it is to have patience. I tell you, I did back off the last three weeks, and I did see a change in him. But of course I blew it by running too fast again.

I'll be honest with you guys in saying that dating is really new for me. I am in my mid 20's (as is he), so I still have my whole life ahead of me to experience. I have always been neutral when it comes to dating. And really it has to do with the fact that just recently I came to the understanding and realization that I am interested in men more than women. I have never denied that fact, I just always pushed it to the side, so I never really dated or made efforts to get to know someone more than friends. Perhaps I'm uber into him because he's really one of the first people that I've found interesting and datable since I've become comfortable with my dating preference. I've only mentioned it to a few close people, who have been quite supportive. I've been wanting to talk to my parents about it. They are my closest support in everything, and I know that they will continue to be, even when they'll know. I'm sure they figure something, but have never questioned directly to me.

As mentioned some time ago, I over analyze things and sometimes let reality escape me. As far as going to his work, I will be honest in saying that I do go hoping to see him. I just need to cut that out of my habits. Monday was the first time in a while that I contacted him and didn't hear back. I WILL back off and let my life continue and take things slow again. I am absolutely maintaining my sanity, it's just that small demon in the back of my mind that keeps reminding me of him.

Xin, it truly is frustrating to control emotions and actions. When you really want something sometimes one does all they can to get it, but that's where we're going wrong. I hope that we can each control our persistence and that things turn out for the best!

Tiki, you help me understand and accept what I should really be doing. Thank You!

Haha, guys, so I just saw on the news that there is a service outage with BlackBerry phone service that has been going on this week. Users haven't been able to use the Internet/Text/Email. Maybe he didin't get my text, he has a BB. I hope not, haha, cause that would eliminate that point of contact. Just wishful thinking.

i guess what tiki is saying taur take it easy no one likes a stalker its scary lmao.

i done like people all over me and end up in my bizz.


virgos like to admire and analyze from afar take it easy if it works out it does if it doesnt keep it moving invest in someone who is worth your time and is interest in you.

Posted by LeGendary ViRGo


i guess what tiki is saying taur take it easy no one likes a stalker its scary lmao.

i done like people all over me and end up in my bizz.


virgos like to admire and analyze from afar take it easy if it works out it does if it doesnt keep it moving invest in someone who is worth your time and is interest in you.

This is pretty helpful. I really like it when Virgo's jump in and give their opinion on things. It gives some of us insight. Or maybe more advice coming from those who were/are involved with Virgos would be appreciated 🙂