*Pokes head in* Hellooooo

Sooo... it's been a very long time since I last popped in. Hello everyone who may or may not remember me!

Hello stranger
It seems so good to see you back again
How long has it been?

It's impossible to forget that pretty face o yurz.

Candeh! Been thinking of you. Hope you are well and you and the bull are well.

Candeh !!


Please poke your head in more often .... you are surely missed around here.

Hope life is happening in the fullest for you.

Posted by P-Angel

Candeh !!


Please poke your head in more often .... you are surely missed around here.

Hope life is happening in the fullest for you.

I've actually been hoping to do that for a while now. I'm hoping to hang out a bit more now. I can provide a few updates on what's been going on with me:

1) I still currently work as a research associate at a non profit organization for substance abuse prevention and treatment research. I am not currently furloughed, so I've been pretty busy with my job. Going into DC is a little strange right now though; downtown will be busy but you go a few blocks and it can be a ghost town. I'm planning on staying at my job for maybe another year then finally pursuing my graduate degree.

2) The Taurus and I are still together. We celebrated 2 years the day after my birthday in August. We have both been through some ups and downs, but at the end of the day, he is my best friend; also, we have helped each other grow as individuals in a way that I haven't experienced with anyone else.

3) I'd like to think the Candeh that was on DXP about a year or two ago is light years different than the person I am now. One of my biggest accomplishments was finding the determination to receive the proper help for my anxiety and depression (which were some things I used to talk about on here); I have a much firmer grasp on my emotional well-being and how I interact with people every day. I'm in a really good place now.

4) I'm an avid pole dancer/pole athlete now. Not to be confused with stripping. I started taking lessons and training back in March of this year. Since then, I've competed in a small competition through my studio. Pole has become a really huge passion of mine and I do hope to take it to a more competitive and performance based level in the future. It was a really big deal for me to do this because I struggle a lot stepping outside of my comfort zone. It's been a life-changing experience for me and I wouldn't take it back at all. Besides pole, I've started to focus more on just being physically fit and healthy.

Here I am getting towards the beginning of my routine!


5) I finally have a cat now too.

All in all, everything is going alright, I think 🙂

Posted by CluelessCancer
i know P-Angel misses you..

you're a very beautiful girl tho, so stick around, i like looking at pretty faces. i'm a chick and no homo.

It's okay, I like looking at pretty faces a lot (whether homo or not). I'm hoping to stick around more now 😉

Posted by ShakenNotStirred

Hello stranger
It seems so good to see you back again
How long has it been?

Geez I'm really not sure honestly. I looked at my post history and I think I popped back in hear for my birthday last year... so I think it's safe to say it's been a year at least. Wowza. Also, loving your new name. It's 2:30 am and all of a sudden I'm craving a martini... I hope you're doing well!!

Posted by virg_goki
heya candeh! How are you doing now?

I'm doing really well! I just made a long and convoluted post to P that provides a little more detail on what I've been up to. Researching, dancing, playing with my cat, and watching A LOT of football. I'm a Skins fan, and it feels great not being in last place in the NFC East right now.

Posted by ellessque
*waves at one of my favourite virgos with a scorpio moon*

Hello dear! Just as beautiful as ever. I hope you've been doing well. I think I've got my scorpio moon in check now!

Posted by Amandus
It's impossible to forget that pretty face o yurz.

And you're still just as sweet. I hope life has been treating you well 🙂

Posted by shortii
Candeh! Been thinking of you. Hope you are well and you and the bull are well.

This is so nice to hear. I'm actually quite shocked by how many people remember me, especially since I just floated away. It makes me feel so good to hear from a lot of you. The bull and I are doing well. We celebrated 2 years in August. We've had a lot of personal/individual issues that we had to work on to reach to the point we are now; his support helped me out a lot as I tried to get myself together.

Posted by everevolvingepithet
Hi!

*Waves* Hi! I've missed your ever infinite wisdom and wit. I might go stalk your posts to get a dose of it.

Posted by MellyMel909
Candeh! I don't think I was yet a member when you left, but I always enjoyed your posts 🙂

click to expand

This means so much to hear :

Posted by CluelessCancer
3) Candah can you explain how you went about being emotionally healthy and dealing with your depression? Did you see a professional and for how long?

This is actually a question that I'm very happy to answer. Firstly, there is no right or wrong way to get help. I got my degree in psychology, so I'm a big proponent of therapy and even medicated assistant treatment. Anyway, I actually began seeing a therapist for junior year of college about 2 or 3 years ago. I stopped going when summer began, but started again my senior year. I am not one to self-diagnose, but I was certain that I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder and social anxiety disorder and I had many co-occuring depressive episodes. I've dealt with this since I was 10. When I finally began going to therapy (because my issues were seriously affecting my relationships, platonic and romantic) I also began taking an SSRI (Lexapro). I did this until I graduated from college in 2012. I thought I was in a better place, but I was very wrong. The first year after graduating from college was probably one of the hardest times I had faced in my young life. I was really on my own at that point and I didn't have a lot of contact with friends or family as I tried to navigate this new point in my life. I made the conscious decision to seek therapy again, but it took some time since I no longer had access to a free and convenient service (the counseling services at school were amazing, but I couldn't access them once I graduated. I think what made this period of recovery different than all others is that I finally began to understand how to manage my issues through positive affirmation.

When it comes to anxiety, you have a very skewed perception of the world around you; I could perceive something as completely negative and attacking my personal character even if it wasn't the case. My therapist taught me how to look at a situation and try to find evidence of whether the situation matched my perception of the world. If there wasn't enough evidence to prove that what I perceived was true, then it mostly likely wasn't and wasn't worth me falling apart over. It's not always easy, but it gets easier with time.

I also think that what helped is that I had a firmer support system (my boyfriend, different friends than the ones I had in college, my cat, my best friend).

One of the biggest changes in my

One of the biggest changes in my life is getting into pole dancing and getting healthy. I finally focused on myself and I found something I could be passionate about. Also, I managed to push myself to not feel afraid being in a situation which would otherwise terrify me. I've me a lot of great people doing pole, and my self-esteem/confidence just sky-rocketed from doing something to help myself grow as an individual.

Hey Girl, I was just thinking about you the other day!! (REALLY!)

Sounds like you are doing well. At a good place in life.

Nothing much has changed here, except a few new faces creating excess drama!! (and a few oldies but goodies who are nothing but...)

Welcome back candeh.

You've been a busy bee lol. Glad life is treating you well! 🙂

Posted by Candeh15
One of the biggest changes in my life is getting into pole dancing and getting healthy. I finally focused on myself and I found something I could be passionate about. Also, I managed to push myself to not feel afraid being in a situation which would otherwise terrify me. I've me a lot of great people doing pole, and my self-esteem/confidence just sky-rocketed from doing something to help myself grow as an individual.

You stripping thats whats up.

Candeh, I thought I saw you about a month ago at Dupont Circle ... I was going down New Hampshire heading to the U Street corridor and I could have sworn I saw you.

Do you ever shop at Dupont?

I'm from the DC suburbs

Posted by virgoking

Posted by Candeh15
One of the biggest changes in my life is getting into pole dancing and getting healthy. I finally focused on myself and I found something I could be passionate about. Also, I managed to push myself to not feel afraid being in a situation which would otherwise terrify me. I've me a lot of great people doing pole, and my self-esteem/confidence just sky-rocketed from doing something to help myself grow as an individual.

You stripping thats whats up.

click to expand

I'm actually overqualified to be a stripper. I like to think of myself more as a rhythmic gymnast on a vertical pole.

Posted by P-Angel

Candeh, I thought I saw you about a month ago at Dupont Circle ... I was going down New Hampshire heading to the U Street corridor and I could have sworn I saw you.

Do you ever shop at Dupont?

You know... it's possible. I work around Farragut Square, so I'm not too far from Dupont. I could have been wondering around during my lunch break because I like to get as much walking done as I can. But I honestly haven't been in Dupont for a bit. I'd like to change that though because Dupont is one of my favorite areas. If you've down and around Connecticut and K, you've probably/definitely seen me haha.

Posted by CluelessCancer

Posted by P-Angel
I'm from the DC suburbs

wow ...no wonder you got that bite..east coast..when keeping it real is a way of life

click to expand

I mean... we're not New York, but we definitely aren't West Coast laid back lol.

Posted by Layna
Hey Candeh! Long time.

I read what you wrote to P and the other things. So happy for you. 🙂

Layna! I was actually thinking about you right before I came back. I'm glad to see that you're still around 🙂 Any new changes in life, doll?

Posted by lildol
Hey Girl, I was just thinking about you the other day!! (REALLY!)

Sounds like you are doing well. At a good place in life.

Nothing much has changed here, except a few new faces creating excess drama!! (and a few oldies but goodies who are nothing but...)

I'm definitely in a much better place. I think I take myself much less seriously while still being an adult at the same time.

Okay, so I've kind of missed the drama. I think I'll grab some popcorn and take a seat in the back for the shows...

Oh hell yeah, I love K Street .... Farragut Square is only 4 blocks from Dupont, so it probably was you. I used to go to free jazz concerts at the park at K and Conn Aves .. those were the days.

Posted by Layna
By the way, LOVE that you took up pole dancing! I've been looking for studios that will suit me for awhile, now. I've talked to people and they all said that it really does give a person confidence, etc. Also, my body's been feeling really out of shape... starting from the core muscles which I am now sure are weak as hell, haha! Anyways, wouldn't hurt to have a banging body either, eh? :p

Layna, you're in Australia if I remember correctly? If so, one of my pole athlete idols is Australian: Carlie Hunter. She is an incredible athlete while still be incredibly graceful in everything that she does. I can say without a doubt that pole boosted my self-confidence so much. While I could have done this with regular exercise and diet, and I was for a while, nothing made me feel quite like a badass like pole does. I love how strong I feel and how I learn and tackle something new each week at my lessons. I love being able to do something that seems incomprehensible to some people. I really hope you can find a studio soon; I think you'd truly love it. If you have any more questions about pole, please ask me! I LOVE talking about it. And girl, if you find a studio, you and I will have a lot to talk about 😉

Posted by P-Angel

Oh hell yeah, I love K Street .... Farragut Square is only 4 blocks from Dupont, so it probably was you. I used to go to free jazz concerts at the park at K and Conn Aves .. those were the days.

I have yet to experience a free jazz concert in the square! My favorite thing about it though is all the food trucks. I'm obsessed with them and I try to treat myself to a different one once a week. Do you have a favorite truck, P? I'm currently all over Far East Taco Grille and the Caribbean Food Truck.

Posted by ceu
Candeh15, welcome back! I am an Aquarius and relatively new to the forums myself. You sound like a lovely human being. I wish you the best and may more wonderful things come into your life! Blessings!

That's one of the best compliments I've received in a while. Thank you so much. That really made my day as I'm trying to get through the next 5 hours of work right now

I think one of the main reasons I like the East Coast more than the West is the accessibility, or more specifically if I wanted to drive 5 hours north from where I am, I can be in New York. 5 hours in California won't even get you from LA to San Fran. Now, not all of the East Coast is my favorite. I generally tend to stay away from the South even though a large majority of my family is from the South. I'm a fairly modern, open-minded suburban city girl... I'm not going to have a lot of fun in deeper parts of Georgia.

Posted by CluelessCancer
Candeh yah you guys can go to the caribbean pretty easily and Europe too, that's i think the #1 thing i hate about the Northwest, too far from everything, so we pay way more to do anything.

Yeah, I'm a fan of the Atlantic, but I think that's because I've been an east coaster most of my life outside of living over seas. A lot of my family is either up north, down south, and then some are sprinkled out in the midwest (in Kansas City, MO). My dad and aunt (to my knowledge) are really the only ones living out west (Arizona, Nevada, California). I used to go to San Diego quite a bit in the past, and that's really one one of the places I can imagine moving to on the West Coast.

While I love being by DC, I've actually been considering making a move in like a year or so, either to New York (if I find somewhere affordable to live) or Denver because several of my good friends have moved out there in the last year. So, I'm kind of curious to know what Colorado is all about since they love it so much (plus it's cheap lol).

Posted by Layna
I have a couple of friends in Australia, but, no, I've never lived there. 🙂 Just checked out Carlie Hunter - she's incredible! It's amazing how the moves looked like they took no effort but it was obvious that she put a lot of time and dedication. My favorite teacher used to say, "Talent just makes up 1% (of how good you are), 99% is effort."

Oh, if you end up deciding on moving to New York (or will be going up there for a trip), tell me! There are places (restaurants, etc.) that I can recommend.

I think I was confusing you with someone else lol. But I have been MIA. And I definitely agree with what your teacher said. Many of the women I dance with came in with no dancing experience at all. My class is relatively strong compared to some of the others because many of us were already athletic or worked out. But many women are do not athletic jobs in the daytime and are able to truly do some amazing things on the pole as if they had done it all their lives. That's why I love it so much; you progress at your own pace but you always learn something and tackle a move each lesson.

One of the first things I'm going to do if I move is look up competent pole studios haha. Considering I truly do master all of this (I just learned how to invert in the last few weeks, so I'm progressing pretty well) I would love to be an instructor. So I will definitely take up your offer if I end up in New York!

Omg I am a pole freak too!! If you go to NYC you can check out Body&Pole Fitness and take lessons with Marlo Fisken (I love her!)