r rated horrorscope just for fun
This topic was created in the Virgo forum by daligogh on Sunday, November 19, 2006 and has 4 replies.
Virgo- August 23 to September 23
This is the MOST confused sign on the planet. This sign is pretty realistic: No Frills. They love to fuck in showers not because it's kinky...but because of hygenic reasons...they are big into sanitary issues. Every Virgo I have ever met has issues...always going back to hygiene. They have to arrange time in their busy scheduals to have sex...But when a reservation is made...You had better be there on time, if not a little early. With flowers. And Clean.
Virgos want to make their partner happy. That's it. USUALLY. You will always get a freaky Virgo. Even so, they will TRY to get YOU to cum. And if they can't make you cum, they will buy someone or something that will.they love to make their partner happy.
Yes you read that right.
They LIVE to masturbate...whether its you rubbing them, them rubbing you...them rubbing against your fox fur coat...whatever! they are very sexual people. usually always horny.!!!Some Virgos WANT to be punished. They will do naughty things to be caught so they can be punished. They are perfect for Aries who want to punish SOMEBODY. Anybody! Pretend rape scenes also turn on Virgos. As long as they know they are secretly safe. If you have ever seen the Carnival Rape scene in 'Henry & June' this is a Virgo wet dream.
This is the MOST confused sign on the planet. This sign is pretty realistic: No Frills. They love to fuck in showers not because it's kinky...but because of hygenic reasons...they are big into sanitary issues. Every Virgo I have ever met has issues...always going back to hygiene. They have to arrange time in their busy scheduals to have sex...But when a reservation is made...You had better be there on time, if not a little early. With flowers. And Clean.
Virgos want to make their partner happy. That's it. USUALLY. You will always get a freaky Virgo. Even so, they will TRY to get YOU to cum. And if they can't make you cum, they will buy someone or something that will.they love to make their partner happy.
Yes you read that right.
They LIVE to masturbate...whether its you rubbing them, them rubbing you...them rubbing against your fox fur coat...whatever! they are very sexual people. usually always horny.!!!Some Virgos WANT to be punished. They will do naughty things to be caught so they can be punished. They are perfect for Aries who want to punish SOMEBODY. Anybody! Pretend rape scenes also turn on Virgos. As long as they know they are secretly safe. If you have ever seen the Carnival Rape scene in 'Henry & June' this is a Virgo wet dream.
How cum EVERY FUCKING THING ABOUT VIRGOS IS SUPPOSED TO LEAD BACK TO HYGIENE!!!!
Work=hygiene Play=hygiene Thinking=hygiene even SEX=HYGIENE!!!
Yes, I bathe daily and keep my home clean but I AM NOT AN ANAL RETENTIVE NEAT FREAK!!!
Sorry, had to get that off of my chest, but onto the rest of the horoscope:
Always horny - check!
Always want to make the other person happy - check!
Kinky - check!
Live to masturbate - uh, no, but it's great when no one else is there to actually fuck
Want to be punished - check! as long as you "punish" well
Perfect for Aries who want to punish SOMEBODY - CHECK!!!! - the best sex I ever had was with an Aries. I used to looooooove how rough he would be and take it even when I was mad at him. I was soo disappointed when I got back with him and he was ***GENTLE***!!! I was like, "What the hell?!?!?!" FUCK ME! HURT ME! PULL MY HAIR!!! But he was all soft and sweet and kissed my neck. Sigh... It was all downhill from there.
Carnival Rape Scene a Virgo's wet dream - I'm wet right now. Where can I find a Carnival?!?!?
Work=hygiene Play=hygiene Thinking=hygiene even SEX=HYGIENE!!!
Yes, I bathe daily and keep my home clean but I AM NOT AN ANAL RETENTIVE NEAT FREAK!!!
Sorry, had to get that off of my chest, but onto the rest of the horoscope:
Always horny - check!
Always want to make the other person happy - check!
Kinky - check!
Live to masturbate - uh, no, but it's great when no one else is there to actually fuck
Want to be punished - check! as long as you "punish" well
Perfect for Aries who want to punish SOMEBODY - CHECK!!!! - the best sex I ever had was with an Aries. I used to looooooove how rough he would be and take it even when I was mad at him. I was soo disappointed when I got back with him and he was ***GENTLE***!!! I was like, "What the hell?!?!?!" FUCK ME! HURT ME! PULL MY HAIR!!! But he was all soft and sweet and kissed my neck. Sigh... It was all downhill from there.
Carnival Rape Scene a Virgo's wet dream - I'm wet right now. Where can I find a Carnival?!?!?
1 to 2 showers a day are great but I don't need to have sex in one. It's actually a pain the butt because then I have to reset my hair which is something I'd rather not bother with after the heat of the moment! Haha! Rape Scene??? No.
Yeah the whole hygiene thing freaks me out..
They say opposites attract..no wonder you guys like Scorps..cos we're dirrrrrrrrrty buggers
They say opposites attract..no wonder you guys like Scorps..cos we're dirrrrrrrrrty buggers
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