Scorp F/Virgo M - jealousy & other things

I know, I know. Another scorp/virgo post. :insert eyeroll here: I'm new 'round these parts though, and after reading through more posts than I care to admit to, I have some questions of my own. So here's the deal: 8 or 9 months ago, I met a Virgo man in line at the bookstore at school (both returning students, decidedly not kids - both 30 y.o. though I'm exactly 10 months older than he. We had a mutual friend, and though him, he found and added me on Facebook (all hail the mighty social networking!). For several months, we would say a casual 'hello' or stop and have a quick conversation when we ran into each other, and although I found him attractive, I thought nothing of it.

Fast forward to ~3 months ago. We wound up running into each other as I was leaving a classroom, and he was walking in, and we got to talking. Although he had to be there anyway, I noticed he started showing up early on a regular basis so that we'd spend our short 20-minute lunch breaks talking to one another, instead of at the last minute before he had to walk in the door. He never asked me for my number, nor did I, and yet the conversations continued, along with him mildly stalking (*ahem* researching?) me on Facebook (thought it was cute, not creepy). He took off to Mexico for our quarter break, and we kept in touch online the whole time he was away. When we both returned, he came bearing gifts. Well, gift. He brought me back a little ceramic sheep because he knew that I loved them.

Fast forward to...oh, hell, I don't know...just fast forward. He's told me how nervous I make him, and that I'm constantly making him blush. He won't verbally express interest, in a direct way, but I get lingering looks, hugs, and then mention of how he was going to leave a flower on my car (didn't know that he knew which one was mine in the sea of cars in the parking lot...) and that he stood there for 5 minutes wondering if he should do it, and ultimately not going through with it because he thought people would think he was a stalker.

We've exchanged numbers, we text. He doesn't always text back - I always do - but I generally let him initiate conversations, even in text, because I'm trying not to come on too intensely, as I have a tendency to do, especially around people who I perceive as being more shy, as he appears to be. The last week or two, we've spent many, many hours on the phone into the wee hours of the morning, talking about everything under the sun. (cont'd)

(Oh, good grief - I'm so wordy. Anyway...)

So, we've spent a lot of time talking. He's mentioned, in no uncertain terms, that he absolutely HATES jealousy. Doesn't see the point in it, finds it entirely off-putting. I'm a scorpio, and jealousy sort of runs in my veins. Can't help it - always try to, and yet I still find myself turning into an irrational bitch sometimes, when I know I shouldn't be. My problem is this: he has primarily all female friends, and a large percentage of them are ex-girlfriends. RED FLAG for my scorp ass. He talks about how there are no intentions there, and that he sees it as perfectly natural to stay friends with ex's that he still cares deeply for. Me? I'm thinking, If you're still attracted to them, and you care so deeply for them, why the hell did you break up, and why would you still want to be friends and not fu*k their brains out? This, coming from the woman who is only still acquainted (very loosely) with one of her ex's because I don't see the point in being friends if it didn't work out.

I guess my questions are these:
Does it sound like a load of b.s. that he's still strictly platonic friends with all of these ex's that he still feels for so deeply? I mean, is that even possible in the world of a Virgo man? It's sure not for me.

I didn't mention all of the hot/cold messages I was getting for a good while there, but is it some kind of indicator that rather than playing text tag, we've actually had real phone conversations lately?

And I don't know, I'm sure I have a hundred other questions, but this post is too damn long already, and I'm expecting a bunch of "TLDR"s, so I'll leave it at that, lol.

I think a Virgo's word is their bond and you should give him the benefit of the doubt, until he proves otherwise. Jealousy consumes all. Don't live like that, but don't be blind to the signs either. Virgos work slowly and mathematically. He will open up on his terms. I wouldn't force anything unless you want him to pull away. In conversation, don't dwell on his ex'es. Any convo about that will indicate to him that's all that's in the back of your mind. If he says he hates jealousy, believe him. If he says he and his exes share platonic friendships, believe him. But don't be stupid 😛 You have no right, right now, to be jealous as there is no bond past friendship at this point. Hope any of this helps.

Thanks for the reply. It's true, I have no ties to him beyond friendship, but with the possibility of more, I'd like to know what I may have to potentially deal with. It's a catch-22 of sorts. If I'm not sure about the friendships with those women, I'm not going to be sure whether I'll be able to handle being with him. If I'm not with him, I'll probably never be sure about the friendships with those women.

It's all a wait-and-see game, I suppose.

But here he is with the hot and cold again. After a couple days and countless hours of conversation, I sent him a text, received one reply, texted back, and...crickets. I like him quite a lot, despite his possessing a whole host of quirks that I've never known in another person, but the fact that he can't even seem to muster the nerve to ask me out beyond a "We should have lunch sometime" and keeps playing red light/green light with me constantly makes me question wth is going on here. Just when I think I'm ready to call the whole thing "friends" and leave it at that, he says or does something that yanks me back into feeling otherwise.

I know he's confused about how he feels about commitment right now. After getting out of a 4-year relationship with someone who broke his heart by moving away (the distance is the ONLY thing that split them up - another red flag for me) said himself that sometimes, he feels like he wants to be possessed by someone, and others, he feels like he's so tired of relationships and commitment that he just wants to date and not feel that pressure.

I took that to mean, Back off with any feelings of potential commitment you may be having...ain't gonna happen right now. But who knows, really. It could mean he's not sure about me, not sure about himself, not sure about having any sort of feelings...

My issue is, I'm really not a casual dater. I don't want to date you for 3 months, and then break up and have to start all over again. If I'm at 3 months, I'll probably go 3 years. If I'm at 3 months, I'm IN it, and I want you, and you'd better want me back or my feelings will be irreparably hurt.

Decan, lol, I've read a buttload of your posts, and I'm feelin' the lov- er...the hate. The hate, I said! 😛

I have to admit, I'm waffling on this one, big Belgian waffling. I want him, I don't want him, I want him, I don't want him... it changes on a daily basis, depending on what sort of reception I'm feeling from him. If I were to have some sort of definitive answer, I'd likely just stick with "I like him", but it's not in my nature to offer that up if it's not going to be offered up to me in return. I am ALL about the reciprocity. And he seems so damn unsure, that I'm not entirely prepared to stick my neck out if there's a chance it's going to wind up with my head being lopped off. Plus, I feel like maybe he's still deciding about me. He seems to have no problems going out with girl-friends. But this man cannot seem to get it together and ask me to do anything with him.

He keeps on with the we'll do this, we'll do that, "Well have to spend a whole day watching all the movies you've never seen", and "You'd better prepare your mom for the Mexican walking through her door", and then when I give him the opportunity to go and do something with me, it's..."I can't /sadface... not because I don't want to, but I have to do x, y, and z." To be fair, the day I offered that up was one where he was supposed to be dogsitting, and he needed to get the critter out to drop a deuce, but still. Also to be fair, he doesn't have a car and I live across the bay from him. I was jokingly giving him sh*t about the lunch avoidance the night before last, and he started stumbling over his tongue, talking about how he wanted to make sure that he didn't pick the wrong thing to go and eat because he thought I'd be polite and go along with something I hated just so that I wouldn't be rude, then went on to ask me what I liked to eat...but nothing beyond that.

Then, last night that if he wanted to do something, I was leaving it in his hands because I'd already tried and been rejected. I'm sure I'm not putting out the "I want you, in no uncertain terms" vibe, but frankly, it scares the hell out of me. I know that this is just astrology, and not the be all, end all, but everything I've read about the nature of a virgo man tells me that it's entirely possible that I'll get involved, fall hard, and he'll decide on some random, nitpicky whim that something I do gets on his nerves, and I'll wind up baffled at what happened as I sit there all alone.

Then I'll get all scorp

What the... hello, cut off sentences.

Last paragraph should read:

Then, last night I basically told him that if he wanted to do something, I was leaving it in his hands because I'd already tried and been rejected. I'm sure I'm not putting out the "I want you, in no uncertain terms" vibe, but frankly, it scares the hell out of me. I know that this is just astrology, and not the be all, end all, but everything I've read about the nature of a virgo man tells me that it's entirely possible that I'll get involved, fall hard, and he'll decide on some random, nitpicky whim that something I do gets on his nerves, and I'll wind up baffled at what happened as I sit there all alone.

Then I'll get all scorpio-y...

Does it sound like a load of b.s. that he's still strictly platonic friends with all of these ex's that he still feels for so deeply?

Nope


I mean, is that even possible in the world of a Virgo man?

Yep

Posted by spaggiescorp

...... because I don't see the point in being friends if it didn't work out.

This is the only problem, no matter how many cute little liners you attach, no matter how much you try to make it sound like maybe he's not being honest with you because afterall, the way you worded your questions were done intentionally to make it appear as though he is full of shit about where he is standing with these ladies.


The reality of it is .... you are the one who doesnt' comprehend the difference between friend and lover, because if you did, then you'd have no reason to make the above comment.

In your perception ... the only reason you would think a friend is valuable is for fucking.

Once you fix yourself with this, then you might not be so fucking uptight, and maybe him (or any guy) could actually get to love you.

Oh....em....geee.....


Are you friends with my Virgo? Sounds like you're talking about mine!


And, if so...

Posted by spaggiescorp

He talks about how there are no intentions there, and that he sees it as perfectly natural to stay friends with ex's that he still cares deeply for. Me? I'm thinking, If you're still attracted to them, and you care so deeply for them, why the hell did you break up, and why would you still want to be friends .....

He didnt' say he was attracted to them, you made this assumption, stemming from your own insecurity of feeling inferiour than other women.

That is the only reason to be jealous afterall ... it means you lack the confidence in yourself to keep your man by your own merits, so you have to project it outward.


You have planted a seed in here to infer that his words aren't honorable when he claims that he is friends with his exes by means of implication to suggest his confusion in comprehending friend from lover in this sentence .... "it sound like a load of b.s. that he's still strictly platonic friends with all of these ex's" ... when in reality, it is actually you is confused and doesn't know the difference ...


"I don't see the point in being friends if it didn't work out"

I do see value in having friends, in fact, most of my closest friends are male, so I've told him that I completely understand his penchant for having many friends of the opposite sex. What I DON'T see as valuable is keeping ex's around for the sake of friendship. I understand it is possible, since, as I mentioned, I'm still acquainted with one of my ex's, and we both know that if we needed one another, we'd help, but neither of us see much point in staying in close communication or hanging out. Yes, we were friends at one point. Yes, we loved or cared for each other at one point. But if something spoils the romance...well...ok...nevermind. I suppose I can see how someone might want to keep the friendship even if the love didn't work out...

HOWEVER, in my opinion, when you're not in a relationship, you have friends to go out and eat with, bs with, watch movies with, etc., etc. When you're in one, the person you're with becomes your built-in for those things. Not that that discounts the need to do those things with other people now and again because they offer a different perspective and experience, as opposed to spending time with the same person day in, day out, but despite the fact that I KNOW that, it's difficult for me to FEEL that.

And not that he and I are in any sort of relationship.

I'm feeling a bit as though this may be a test, of which he told me there would be many.

And for the record, I didn't attempt to say anything to sway the answers one way or the other. My overwhelming feeling is that he was being honest, but in the world of people, not just men, I've come to learn through experience that even the most sincere words can be a cover for the biggest load of bull you've ever imagined, HENCE my wording.

Personally, if my Virgo ever exhibited jealousy in any form whatsoever .... he'd be sleeping with the dogs outside, and he knows it.

I have many male friends, very deep, close friends ... and he is very close to his first wife because they had children together .. as they should be close, they should have a deep relationship .... afterall, they wanted their children to be emotionally healthy, didn't they?

Of course, he had to work really hard at it though because she wanted to take the kids and keep them from him, and she did for a long time ... he had to work to get to the place he is now.


I'm unclear why you feel so threatened .... do you lack self confidence in keeping your man?

And since you were so quick to jump to negative conclusions, you missed the part where I said nothing about whether he found them attractive or not. As a matter of fact, he did mention that he still found them attractive. He also mentioned that it wasn't all about sex for him, and that they'd broken up, not talked for a while, felt the pain, healed, and then come back together as friends - he didn't mention any one in particular, but I took it to mean that it was the same process with all of them.

Sure, I'm insecure sometimes. We, as human beings, do sometimes have those leanings. I just wanted to know how likely or usual it was for this to be the case amongst virgo men.

Posted by spaggiescorp

My problem is this: he has primarily all female friends, and a large percentage of them are ex-girlfriends. RED FLAG for my scorp ass. He talks about how there are no intentions there, and that he sees it as perfectly natural to stay friends with ex's that he still cares deeply for. Me? I'm thinking, If you're still attracted to them, and you care so deeply for them, why the hell did you break up, and why would you still want to be friends and not fu*k their brains out? This, coming from the woman who is only still acquainted (very loosely) with one of her ex's because I don't see the point in being friends if it didn't work out.

He doesnt' say he's attracted to them, you say this .. he says there are no intentions.


And talk to me about negativity when the whole purpose of this thread is in place to soothe your feelings because you are feeling insecure.

Do you think projecting insecure feelings onto us in here is a positive thing?

You're jealous, and you can't handle it .... so, in reality, you are the one who created a thread to validate your negativity ... so, don't act like you're surprised that what you called for, came to you.

Virgos are for life


If you think you are suppose to be above the others he loves .. then you should probably erase him now before you get seriously hurt.

I get really bothered by women who cannot just fucking relax and let relationships happen naturally. You're in here making implications that you are prone to pushing a relationship to serious levels immediately and that you HAVE to be secured in knowing that the relationship is on solid ground with him before you can let down your wall .... and then say that it's not even a relationship and you haven't even advanced into a courting phase yet.


I mean, seriously ..... fucking relax and let the man live, for christ sake.

Sweetie I (a Cancer) am dating a VirGuy who has plenty of female friends of which some are exs.

Let me give you a (logical) rule of thumb... When it comes to VirGuy's (I also apply this to men in general)if they are willing to talk to you about or introduce you to their female friends there's nothing to be concerned about because unless he's a j@ck@ss he doesn't have anything to hide! Combine that with what all of the other VirGuy's and VirGal's here have said about Virgo's being true, I think it's safe to set your mind at ease.

Let me give you a few other things that I've learned Virgo both like and will respect you for that may aide you in the future should your budding romance blossom...
1. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin in any environment. Once I learned to be comfortable by myself in any environment that came naturally to me. According to my VirGuy that's an attractive quality...
2. It's ok to have a difference of opinion on a topic as long as you respect his point of view.
3. Have an appreciation for all types of humor...
4. Always look him in the eyes say thank you and smile (LOL I didn't realize I did that until my VirGuy pointed it out to me).
5. Don't be afraid to be bubbly, upbeat, energetic, and outgoing (preferably without being obnoxious of course).
6. Never stop looking for fresh venues to explore within your common interests.

I could probably pick apart every relationship I have with every Virgo in my life and drag this list out... LOL... So I think I'll stop while I'm ahead! Good Luck in what ever Avenue you choose! 🙂

P-angel tells people to relax, yet she remains on dxpnet with problems herself. She can lie within the veil, but she holds more than simple projections of intentions other than words; actions holds her keys and every ones.

Posted by spaggiescorp
And since you were so quick to jump to negative conclusions, you missed the part where I said nothing about whether he found them attractive or not. As a matter of fact, he did mention that he still found them attractive. He also mentioned that it wasn't all about sex for him, and that they'd broken up, not talked for a while, felt the pain, healed, and then come back together as friends - he didn't mention any one in particular, but I took it to mean that it was the same process with all of them.

Sure, I'm insecure sometimes. We, as human beings, do sometimes have those leanings. I just wanted to know how likely or usual it was for this to be the case amongst virgo men.

Spaggie: I happen to feel your pain. I am the type of woman who cannot understand why a man (or woman) would want to stay friends with ex lovers. Especially if I had a man in my life. HE is who I spend my emotional energy on. Now platonic male friends are ok. I have men who are friends (co workers,etc), but I would NOT go out with them unless it was a group thing. The only male friend I go out alone with is gay. So, in saying this I would be very insecure knowing my potential guy is still very close with all these women he still feels attraction for. Jealousy? Well hell yeah!!

See, Deacan, that's precisely why it puts ME on edge about his female friends. I, as a woman, know that many, many male friends have come and gone, and that our "friendships" were based solely on the fact that, at one point, they wanted me, and I put them into the friend zone. The male friends I have now, I've known for more than half my life, and feel comfortable in the fact that they don't see me that way, but for a man to have primarily all female friends, to me...TO ME, means that he shot for a 3-pointer, missed, and now he's just dribbling around the court. I'll be honest, though, that feeling comes not only from my own experience, but from some insecurity as well. Not because I can't hold onto a man, quite the (frustrating) opposite, actually, but because I know women, and we can be some shady bitches.

While my gut tells me that they ARE all platonic to him, my gut also tells me that these chicks keep him around as a friend 1.) 98% because he's a huge ego boost to them because he continues to be so nice and caring that they feel good making themselves think that he's still in love with them 2.) 1% because they want to keep tabs on him to some extent, knowing what's going on in his life, and who is in it because at least some slight feelings of possession still remain, even though the relationship is over (masochists and nosy asses), and 3.) 1% because they really value his friendship on a STRICTLY friendly level (emphasis on "STRICTLY" because the purity of a friendship between two ex-lovers is likely to be pretty questionable - even if one party is totally 100% over the other person, the feelings may not be mutual, or small things linger, etc., etc.).

LadySag, happy to know I'm not alone in my lack of understanding, or at least lack of feeling good about what I understand may work for some people. 🙂

Posted by spaggiescorp
See, Deacan

*Decan, that is.

And Dy, I entirely see your point. The way I'm thinking about it is this, if I decide to just throw caution to the wind and see where this goes, I can either use this experience as a lesson to see how much of my jealous nature I can rein in, while working on really, really keeping it under control (something I've wanted to do for some time, but haven't really had the opportunity to do for the last 5 years, as it required a fresh start with someone new), or I can use it as a fun, possibly dramatic, possibly wonderful, possibly horrible distraction that'll probably, as you said, make me go insane and freak the poor guy out so badly that he runs, arms flailing, away from me.

I don't know how much of one's in-born nature can be controlled by sheer will alone, and I'm not sure that if it is controllable, that it's healthy for the individual to suppress such a part of who they are. Then again, jealousy doesn't really have any redeeming reasons for existing, except maybe as a Spidey-sense reaction to real or perceived wrongdoing.

I don't really know where it's going anyway. I can't read him for sh*t. I saw him this morning when he psst-ed me at my classroom door. We hugged and talked and giggled while I all of a sudden got inexplicably shy and embarrassed (not really in my nature, and hasn't happened around him before today). When I had to go back in, I got another hug, kiss on the cheek, and "talk to you later". Normally, when class is over, I'll walk to my next class, and he'll meet me there where we talk for a bit before he has to catch up with his ride, but today, he half ran past me, said goodbye, and then sent me a text a couple minutes later saying he was sorry, but that his ride was in a hurry. He was half running with some girl half running alongside him. And that was the ONLY thing about the partial encounter that made me wonder wtf.

My problem (or one of the many) is that I can't tell if/when I'm being blown off by him, and when I'm not. I have no reason not to trust, not from my past or from what he's shown me, and yet my head immediately goes to the worst possible "what if's". It always does, and I have to fight it tooth and nail to remind myself that there are worse things than taking things at face value, believing in the good, getting my hopes up, and being wrong.

I really do like him a lot and can see myself potentially liking him a LOT, but parts of his nature terrify me. Not the kind of terror I felt when dealing with my Aries ex (what a nightmare), but the sort where I can see that if I let myself, I could fall hard, and get hurt big.

His ability to read my face has already proven to be uncanny. A couple weeks ago, I had a bad weekend, partially (ok, mostly) stemming from all of the hot and cold I was receiving from him (my obsessive nature), but I was hell-bent on not letting him know that anything was bothering me when I saw him on Monday. I was, what I thought, my usual self, and he almost immediately squinted at me and told me that something was different about my eyes. I, of course, thought he was referring to my makeup or something...which puzzled me because I hadn't done anything different, so then I started wondering if I had screwy eyeliner, but he cut in and asked me what was wrong. It floored me. I mean, it utterly freaked me out that he took one look at my face and into my eyes and saw that. Because I had already resigned to letting it go, told him nothing was wrong, and he insisted that something was wrong, and that whatever it was that I wanted to know, or had questions about, to ask him. Basically, he figured the change in my face had something to do with him, and he wanted me to tell him. I couldn't though. I didn't want to seem psychotic with all this "Why do you text without replying to mine?" and "I thought I was going to hear from you over the weekend, so I'm disappointed I didn't" when things weren't even in that vein yet.

They're STILL not there yet, and look at me. Lol.

Is it possible that he's pushing for me to be more direct about my feelings so that he can make up his own? I mean, that's what I'm kind of doing too...so it's plausible, right? He's always looking at me and going, "Ask me!" so maybe being direct and honest about what I'm feeling for him, within reason and without sounding like I'm already ready to get married and have babies is the way to go?

But I thought Virgos wanted to figure things out in their own time, and didn't like that sort of pressure, so I'm confused and conflicted.

Hell, after receiving a text last night about him going to shave, I told him it was a bummer that he was getting ready for bed already because otherwise, I'd have him give me his address and I'd come kidnap him for a couple drinks. Too forward?

continued

Who knows, but he texted me back asking if I was serious, told me I was silly, and told me no drinking and driving. I told him that a beer over an hour wasn't going to be a problem, and that I would have been serious if he'd said yes.


"Aww," is what I got back.

To which I said something to the effect of, "Can't say I didn't try!"

And he came back with, "Now it's back to me 😉" which I took to mean the ball was back in his court, and that's what he wanted (the wink?).

What the hell does this guy want?!

I can see a person male or female, virgo or whatever, remain friends after a break-up, it would just depend on the conditions of the break-up. But my advice for you is to break it off with this guy.

And now this guy is trying to groom me. He sent me a text asking about nail polish, and has decided that I should wear alternating black and white tomorrow. What? For real? Lol.

Posted by spaggiescorp
And now this guy is trying to groom me. He sent me a text asking about nail polish, and has decided that I should wear alternating black and white tomorrow. What? For real? Lol.

Maybe he's hanging with the women for a different reason...lol

he's just sharing his thoughts, you do not have to follow, sheesh :S

No kidding. I don't?! Lol. I just thought it was funny that our of the blue, the discussion turned to nail polish.

Maybe he's hanging with the women for a different reason...lol
*snicker* Considering I thought he might be gay for the first couple weeks I was talking to him, that's really not far off the mark!

Gay? That is so far off the mark it's laughable.

Posted by virg_goki
simple rule, which i believe the rest will say ditto --

:virgo is a supposed cerebral sign, we think and we tell what we think to people who we are close enough. If you ain't close to me or make me comfortable to say what i think, you will probably think i was born mute. we talk, we can seem like we're enforcing our words. but we're just sharing. your choosing to be a doormat if you actually think that we want you to follow what we say. PERIOD

So Virg, does that mean you guys just talk about anything in your head? I do know a Virgo guy at work who sometimes talks about too much personal things and I always wondered why he does that.

Posted by virg_goki
simple rule, which i believe the rest will say ditto --

:virgo is a supposed cerebral sign, we think and we tell what we think to people who we are close enough. If you ain't close to me or make me comfortable to say what i think, you will probably think i was born mute. we talk, we can seem like we're enforcing our words. but we're just sharing. your choosing to be a doormat if you actually think that we want you to follow what we say. PERIOD

I was being sarcastic in that last post. 😛

And when I said he was trying to groom me, I didn't actually mean that he was forcing a bottle of nail polish on me either, lol. It was him asking my opinion about whether or not he should paint his own nails black, which I replied to, and then basically him saying, Hey, you should do yours yellow (which was then green, then light tan - lol - and then b&w). I'm no doormat, as anybody whose ever held any sort of significant conversation with me would easily attest to. That's another inborn trait, and not one of the ones that I'm making any effort to change. 😉

I really like all the Virgo feedback here. Whether it's accurate in my situation or not, it still gives me food for thought. Which is not to say I'm not still driving myself a little crazy going back and forth about whether or not I want to throw myself into this. I started the morning thinking maybe I'd be able to keep it friendly, but then after a conversation with an obscene amount of eye contact, he told me he loved my eyes, and I melted into a little puddle. Then I came to and returned the compliment +.

Oh, and I would never, ever assume that just because a guy doesn't want to fuck, he's gay. The Virgo threw me off for a quick minute, but growing up in the SF Bay Area has helped me to hone my gaydar to at least an acceptable level of accuracy.

Posted by 25thDecan
Good. Now, take a picture of your naked bosom and mail it to goki. Id say me...but...there's that mutual hate thing. 🙂

It's all one-sided, D (again, with the lack of reciprocity, eh?). I'm a lover, not a hater.

Posted by DyTryin

Let me tell you about my Scorpio: Debra is 4'11" & 105 pounds; I'm 5'11" & 215 pounds. She's petite, and I've been lifting weights for 35 years. I could wring her neck with one hand; and yet, she's not the least bit afraid of me.

She got her BS right after we started dating. I have two Master's degrees. And yet, she's not the least bit intimidated by my intellect. She respects my brain power, but she's not in awe of it.

I love her strength of character, and the way she won't be bluffed by me. She stands her ground; and yet, she's never domineering or manipulative. She's sensitive, but not a cry-baby (like her Cancer older sister!).

What the hell does this guy want?!

He wants you to be straight with him. We're not Scorpios - we don't like solving little mysteries. Give us the facts, and let us draw our own conclusions.

Never play games with him. We're as serious about love as Scorpios.

Sorry that I'm going off the subject here Dy. Wow, 4'11"?! I always pictured Debra to be tall! But most Virgos I know LOVE petite, little women. I'm a little woman too, 5'2" and my Virgo loves it! Lol

How "un-dark" of you......

Oh. What I meant was, fuck off, you fuck! Better?

Sorry that I'm going off the subject here Dy. Wow, 4'11"?! I always pictured Debra to be tall! But most Virgos I know LOVE petite, little women. I'm a little woman too, 5'2" and my Virgo loves it! Lol

Weird... I'm 5'1. Maybe it is a Virgo trait. I mean, if he does actually like me, lol.

I may be being totally stupid right now, but how, exactly, is access to any of our anythings easier if we're shorter?

But the body proportions are small in relation, so it would seem there's the same amount of work involved for smaller portions...

Or maybe I just can't imagine it because I don't have a cock. My imagination is failing me today.

Because the joke should make sense, g*d dammit. That's not being controlling - there is no situation to control - necessity for understanding, yes.

You shut your mouth when you're talkin' to me!

spaggie, some things are hilarious just because they're sarcastic and amusing. Just raise an eyebrow, say "Oh rilly?" and laugh. 🙂

Posted by 25thDecan
Makes him feel wanted.

That would've been my take on it too, and I'm not a Virgo.



As far as the other replies go, lol...

I know how to take a joke, you jackasses. And when I say "jackasses", I mean that in a playful, and non-insulting way. My sarcasm doesn't translate through text, apparently.



So, anywho - I'm curious about something else... if you say something along the lines of "You're not interested in me in that way" as a sort of declarative, partially observatory statement during the course of a conversation, is that liable to actually change a Virgo's mind if they ARE interested? Are they really that sensitive and prone to persuasion if they're still making their mind up about you, or...what?

Well, I done fucked up. Lol. We were talking about shopping, and he casually asked me if I wanted to do something tomorrow morning, and I carelessly dismissed it because he said "morning", and my inner night owl bristled. Stupid. He pulled it back so fast that it made me feel terrible - like I'd almost hurt his feelings.

Fuck, man. I can be such an idiot sometimes. Maybe I'll call him early in the day and see if I can drag him out until he goes out with one of his chick friends (sigh) in the evening.

Five pages later and you are still trying to manipulate/control how this man is supposed to feel?


Scorpio .. you and your inability to control yourself is your own worst enemy .. hope you realize that.

Yeah, I'm a moron, but I'm getting mine...so you can crack a smile that the Scorp bitch (lol) is taking it in the pooper because of her own doing. I take full responsibility...I mean, I should have just fixed it last night when I may have still had a shot, or I should have said the right thing to begin with, but I waited until I got up this morning, and texted him. He called me an ass, frowned at me, citing that he was a morning person and I said it was too early, so he asked someone else and was already out, and frowned at me again. I apologized for being an asshole and said it was my loss, then he called me a dork, sent me a heart, and then told me I keep getting strikes. Hah. Fuck me with a big stick.

At least he didn't go to the extreme of deleting my number...DECAN - geez. Lol.

The messed up thing is that I wasn't playing a game - I was so laid back in the conversation that when he asked if I wanted to do something in the morning, the first thing that came to mind was the first thing that shot out of my mouth. I live all the way on the other side of the bay from him and he doesn't have a car at the moment, and he KNOWS that, so my mind went "Morning? That means I have to get up 2 hours before I'm supposed to be there...". An 8am date would have meant getting up at 6 to make it there on time, and well, what the hell happened to Virgos seeing the logic in things? Argh. Still, not his fault.

Oh well. Fuck it. I fucked up. I'll put on my big girl pants and deal with the consequences, which are likely that this ain't gonna happen. Bleh.

Well, I tried to kidnap him this past Sunday and he turned me down because it was too late, so my shit is too late for him and his is too early for me. If there were any strikes, that would've been one for me, but I'm not really thinking in those terms because I'm a woman, not a fucking baseball player.

If he can dish it out without being reasonable enough to take it when the situations are reversed, then I'm not so sure I want to deal with the potential crapstorm that presents either. Reciprocity my butthole.

I don't know why I care so much - it's pretty unlike me. This guy has my knickers in a twist, and he's not my boyfriend. I think I need to just cool my jets and remind myself that the plan was to stay single until I was finished with the task at hand anyway. That way, when I come to the end of yet another amazing 3 hour conversation where everything just clicks and we're sharing deep, dark secrets with one another, I won't feel like throwing it all away over a guy who may or may not have feelings for me.

Oh, and he knows he lights my fire. Or at least, he should if he's been paying attention. Short of coming out and saying it straight, I don't think I've been terribly subtle as of late... Then again, I wouldn't know someone wanted me unless they bashed me over the head and dragged me back to their cave, so who knows.

Ommm. Calm. But I'm an over-analyzer and an over-reactor, lol, what can I say?

We're having lunch on Tuesday, and he asked if one day, I wanted to just rent every movie that he thinks I should have seen by now, and stay in and watch them all for the whole day. He made my turning him down into a joke that we were able to laugh about, so at least now I don't feel so bad about it. He also asked what I wanted on Monday for my birthday, and offered up "lovin'" as a joke, which I laughed at, and then jumped in and accepted and agreed to. 😛 No, I'm not humping in my car, and no, he's not humping me, but it was cute.

This guy makes me feel like I'm in high school again, and I'm not sure whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. Even the way I'm writing about it makes me sound like a little kid writing in my diary, minus the stuff about humping.

I'm glad he called. I probably would have been in a foul-ish mood the rest of the day needlessly dwelling otherwise. Decan, thanks for listening/reading. I know you hate me and my kind, but still... 😛