Should I continue to pursue Virgo woman, or is it (Page 2)

Hey there Joshmoe,

If you'd like to give her a call then I say go for it. We're pretty passive by nature and yea, we are the busiest little bees. There's always something to do! We work first and play later so don't be offended by her not contacting you. She's not really making the effort to right now because as we all mentioned before, she's waiting for you to be completely available for her and her only (in addition to being really busy), and once the divorce is final and the relationship begins to progress, she will initiate contact more and more. For now just keep the convo light and tell her that you were checking in because you missed her, and simply wanted to see how she was doing.

Most men need the patience of a saint to court a virgal and if anyone can do it, it's you Mr. Pincer. 🙂

Yea, Im pretty patient. Thanks Virgovixxxen. You're that chick. ;-D.

Josh,

Are you guys dating at this point...or just friends? I know she knows of your intentions, but have you gone on dates at this stage or are you just friends that know of this situation? I think that will give me a better clue about where she might be at. 🙂

VV,

So, I'm not planning to get into anything serious right now, out of respect for my previous relationship since it's only been a month or so (even though we dated only for few months). I don't like the rebound deal, so I think it's healthier to wait before commiting again...plus I enjoy my current freedom. And honestly, I tend to end things because they really should end and not because of someone...ever. Maybe I'm wrong, but people that move that fast and have people aligned always make me wonder if what they are pursuing is "love" or "company" only as supposed to that person in order to fullfill a void that can be only personally solved...I think a partnership should come as a compliment to someone's life, but never as a solution because it couldn't ever be that.

Saying all that, I have been open to make new friends and go on very casual coffee date/get togethers with some few guys. They know where I am at right now, so nothing is hidden. One was a guy who has lots of cool qualities and works for the music industtry, but sadly he struggles with smoking pot (I found this during a second coversation) and that kind of stuff is not my thing. I won't judge someone for it, but that's not just not something attractive to me. Now, if he would want to quit that and was trying to, maybe I would at least keep it in mind, but I think he thinks its just something fun who won't hurt him ocassionally and that's just not the way I envision things lol...so we will be friend. 🙂

Then I met a friend who is a firefighter with some nice qualities, as well, but he doesn't seem to be mature enough for a future relationship...so we will be friends too. 😉

Finally, I might meet the cousin of one of my friends who asked me out a while ago. He is interesting too, seems a bit more mature, but I want to talk to him to see what kind of values he has since that is the main thing that makes me wonder about him right now. So we shall see.

You know who I'm most exciting to meet? (to be continued)

(Continuation)

One of my best guy friends who is coming soon, just for few days. I might meet him for few hours. We never dated because we were both dating people at different times...and the last time, while I was dating that Taurus guy...I introduced him to one of my best friends here (an aqua girl). Well, I had talked so highly of him, that she strated to crush on him big time. Now she wants to see him again too, but the thing is...I think he is trying to reconnect with me, even just as friends...since we never really had a chance. So I don't know what to do about that friend. Should I mention anything to my aqua friend? They barely know each other, but she really likes him...though she likes other guys too. So I wouldn't want to hurt our friendship in any way, but at the same time, he has been my friend for years...and sometimes I have wondered if maybe we (me and him) should at one point have a chance. This has been the first time since we both have been single...so even just hanging out alone for a bit would be nice. Any thoughts, VV? (Sorry for taking over this post Josh, maybe I should create a new post) I'm on my way out so I didn't have much time.

As far as what I do for fun :p I will respond that next friend. I'm glad things are going well for you over there! Have a good day!

Josh, once you answer my questions I'll have a better idea of things... I hope your are having a good week!

MissV

No dates. just friends homie......just friends.

MissV- its cool. u can post whatever u want on here. and dayuuuum...that was alot...lol.....its cool though. U virgals are some picky characters huh? Thats a good thing though. You never answered my ? about the 123 homie? and oh yea, What did the guy in the music industry do in the industry?

Posted by Joshmoe
MissV- its cool. u can post whatever u want on here. and dayuuuum...that was alot...lol.....its cool though. U virgals are some picky characters huh? Thats a good thing though. You never answered my ? about the 123 homie? and oh yea, What did the guy in the music industry do in the industry?

hey josh!

okay, the guy in the music industry is a writer and a dj. we stay in touch sometimes still. he is an interesting guy, too bad he thinks smoking pot is okay ocasionally. i never dated someone who smoked cigarettes, let alone would i consider dating someone who does drugs. no way. i simply couldn't. but as i said before, we will remain casual friends. i want to be an encourage him in his life and i know he can teach me new things too. i like our communication about life and interesting things.

as far as your question, i added 1,2,3 as a way to represent testing...like when someone tests a microphone on stage. 🙂

and finally, regarding your situation friend...well, if you two are friends only, but she knows you have a thing for her, she will take her breaks in between to figure out what will happen. she won't give more of her, or at least not a lot more of her, because she knows you are not in a defined relationship...or at least that is the way i would think, even if i considered someone for a potential future one.

if it helps at all, some of the reactions i've had in my own life when dealing with someone i like or could like, while still figuring things out or waiting for something are as follows:

? = take it really slow

! = take it slow

"__" = must figure this out or at least try to at some point or in between breaks.

=) = we will dance. and it will be perfect. let's dance a song or two before ?, !, or "__" come back again.

hopefully this makes some sense. i just think she is keeping you in mind, just not giving more of her because she knows it might be the right time... in the meantime though, she will be busy, she will keep her options open (or at least tell herself that she is), and will just go with the flow. nothing is certain yet on her end...but in her mind so isn't in yours, yet. time will tell. and i'm sure vv and/or will try to come and help i needed when we can. as usual, i wish you good things!🙂

missv

MissV123-Didnt even consider the 123 being a mic check thing. :-). It all boils down to being patient I guess, as far as my situation. Nothing else I can do except be charming as hell. :op. Dont undersyand your dancing comment. Are u talking about the constant push/pull virgo thing?

Posted by Joshmoe
Yea, Im pretty patient. Thanks Virgovixxxen. You're that chick. ;-D.

🙂

Miss V,

I understand. It's always good to give yourself time before jumping into the next relationship.

I'm with you on the smoking. Lovers of "grass" and/or cancer sticks need not apply.

As for moving to the next level with your best guy friend, Miss V, that may or may not be a good idea since you say the Aqua girl is also one of your best friends and likes this guy quite much. If she was a mere acquaintance or someone you didn't give the title of best friend to, I would say go for it but, she's someone important in your life so you need to ask yourself are you willing to possibly jeopardize a friendship(?)

You know the situation much better than me but I would suggest feeling it out for now (as in when he comes to visit) and see where this leads. It might turn out that he is attracted to your friend in return and wants to pursue, or as you say, will try and reconnect with you. It's best to let nature take its course with these types of things because it would be downright tacky and shady to come back to her and tell her that you were thinking of him for yourself.

Also, imagine how you would feel if the shoe were on the other foot.

I say let him decide who he would like to be with and if it's you, then have the talk with your friend and if she is digging on other guys as you say, then hopefully, she will understand that it was not meant to be between her and him, and will move along and take it in stride, and your friendship can remain in tact.

(Continued)

Miss V,

Does your guy friend already know that your girlfriend is crushing on him heavily?

On another note, I think it's wonderful that you have been doing some "light" dating and keeping yourself in the game.

Would you like to create a separate thread so that we won't have to hijack this one anymore? (SORRY JOSH!)

No. Its cool.........everythings cooooooool.

VV,

Thanks for writing back. I was feeling the same way friend. I told my aqua friend everything. I didn't mention much about my personal consideration of any potential with him yet because I myself need to figure things out.

He apparently didn't tell her he was coming, but he made sure I knew...that's where my dilemma came from. However, I know how she feels for him, so I told her that IF I do go, she is welcome to come along, it's not like he asked me out on a date or something anyways...we are friends you know? And you are right, if things are supposed to happen on one way or another they will...I will just the ride the wave and see... Above all, I want us all to be happy. They are both two of my closest friends and I connect them because I knew they would bring something positive in each other's life. And although my aqua buddy has her moments, such as when she hid her own guy friend from me that I was supposed to meet haha, I adore the girl. She challenges me to be better and I do the same for her. That's why I treasure what we got so much. As far as him...he is one of those good Virgo guys, he too uses his mind in positive ways, so I like that. We think of life in similar ways and have adapted to this world with similar approaches...perhaps that's why I wonde about the type of connection we have. He too has been a sweet melody in my life, so I want him to be very happy as well. Funny thing, VV, is that no one in my world (well, except for maybe my mom) knows that I would ever consider him in any other way...lol...so you should feel special because I really haven't told that to anyone. 🙂 Who knows though, He and I might remain BFFs for life. At this point, I'm just going with the flow and truly enjoying this break for my heart and mind with respect to commitment.

So enough of me...who are your closest friends over there VV?

As far as what I do for fun, I have many interests, but some of the things I like are painting, traveling, surfing, reading, volunteering, and dancing. How about you?

p.s. I got a casual date with a new Mr. Libra tonight. The firefighter was an Aries by the way and the musician was a Piscis. This guy seems nice, a bit demanding, but nice. He is friends with a friend...and was very direct in his request so I said, why not? 😉 He is well-traveled (+1), interesting (+1), and looks nice (+1), but when we met I just didnt get much info about his morals or values (—), so I'm trying to figure this out tonight. I'll let

Posted by Joshmoe
No. Its cool.........everythings cooooooool.

Thanks Josh. 🙂

As far as your question, well, so if I could sum it up (since I have to leave in few), we would dance with someone we really like or love forever, but we are pretty aware of the imperfections in this world, so it's not that we bring up the ?, !, or "__" it's just that we are prepared to respond to it when those things come.

However, the more secure we feel in a relationship the less we think about those things...so we don't have to hide or run. The thing is, we feel as intensenly as other women do, I don't think most people understand or know this part...we just don't react to those emotions the way others do, but trust me our feelings are real and are there...they just come in sporadic and beautiful glympses whle we are in the discerning phase. We know what we are willing to give and what we are capable of feeling, thinking, and doing when we do.

I think patience (I agree) and building up on a good foundation are key for you right now friend.

MissV

Thanks MissV :-). Enjoy your date. So what can u ladies tell me about our birthdays? My birthday is July 7th. Hers is Sept 20th..........I think I was born at 4:30 a.m. something like that.

Honestly from my prospective I like aggression. If you say you like me, that's fine but showing me is better. Like telling me where and when... I'm a Virgo but I'm not A Typical.

She's well aware about my feelings for her. I've done plenty to show her how I feel. Haven't gotten rudiculously demanding like "Your gonna meet me at THIS place, at THIS time"...no......don't think that would go over well Tiger. ya digggg.

Hey Joshmoe,try cafe astrology.com to look at both of your charts.She's still honoring your divorce progress.

Posted by Joshmoe
Thanks MissV :-). Enjoy your date. So what can u ladies tell me about our birthdays? My birthday is July 7th. Hers is Sept 20th..........I think I was born at 4:30 a.m. something like that.

Hi Josh!

It's been really busy here, sorry it took this long. I'm not sure how often I'll be able to come here the following weeks, but I'll do try to do it once in a while to check on some of the friends I made here (Hi VV! 🙂).

I can't give you my exact bday date, but I can give you a range. It is between the last week of August and first week of September. 🙂

I am just very cautious when I give you any info publicly that's the only reason why I hold things back here, otherwise I'd be all chatty about those details.

I hope things are going well in your life and that things keep on moving where they should go with the Virgo lady (and yes check that cafe astrology place, I'm still learning about all that too).

Oh my dates were okay, thanks for the kind wishes! Currently I seem to have a magnet for Aries people it seems for some reason...lol I'm still enjoying being where I am, it has been a good thing for me at this time. I am very happy to have the friends I have and I'm taking care of many responsabilities I have at hand.

Have a good week and keep on going! 🙂

Thanks missV. U have a good week to. Thanks for the info.

Wutzup PB. Things are slow. Its cool though I guess. She'a been out of town for a while, so havent seen her for almost two weeks. Sorry for respinding so late. Wutz pb stand for? Uhhhhhhhh peanut butter?

"responding"

It was magnetic. Before I even introduced myself to her or had a conversation, I felt something pulling me towards her.She actually approached me 1st, and we became good friends. We've been friends for about 3 years. I told her how I felt about her (what feels like 9 years ago ??=) and I've been after her ever since. I think she's an incredible woman. Its just moving soooooo slowly. Kinda drives me insane a lil bit. Hense this forum. Im having one of my "this is never gonna happen" days. I'm sure I feel this way for a reason though. I'm usually not wrong about these things. ....Its all in her eyes. (=

@Miss V,

You're welcome and understood.

Did your friend come down yet? If so, how did everything go?

I feel you on the having similar interests, viewpoints, and goals front, and the fact that he is a good guy, only adds to the appeal...*sigh*...I can understand you wanting to keep him for yourself, LOL, can't blame ya for that!

As stated previously, if it is to be, it will be. You are free to do what you wish but my advice to you has more to do with handling the situation (for yourself) with dignity, respecting your bf's feelings and maintaining the friendship.

If he's into you, then go for it but I just think it's a good idea for you to be sure that it's you who he really wants first before making any hasty decisions.

Lately, my fun has been spending time with the nieces and nephew. They were over yesterday and we went to the mall and they came back to my house and I cooked them dinner and then we watched a movie and played cards. LOL. They're so cute! Aqua, Pisces, and Aries. 7,3 & 1. Love 'em, love 'em, love 'em!

How was the date with the Leeb? (Giiiirl, I thought we talked about this! You need to hang that shit up. Ha! You know Virgos ain't got no dayum business hook'n up with them shallow ass Leebs...hahahahahaa...just kidding!!!)

@Joshmoe,

Hang in there, Mr. Pincer.

Don't really know your situation (and I'm not asking for details so please don't feel compelled to share anything) but maybe the divorce is taking some time? (if you wan't, you can just answer that with a yes or no) I know it sounds a bit twisted but maybe you can find consolation in keeping in mind that the hold up is not necessarily on her end (as in she's not taken by another man or something like that). I know you talked about wanting to be with her before someone else "swooped in" but, I don't think you have anything to worry about. She told you to handle your buisiness first so obviously she's willing to wait for you.

Keep ya head up!

Thanks PB. I'm just ready for something to happen. Sometimes I wonder Wether Im wasting my time or not. You Virgals are pretty confusing sometimes. I guess its a delicate situation check out the forum from the beginning, that way u can understand the situation better, unless u already have. WUTUP VIRGOVIXXEN!

Yea, it is virgovixxen, but its not like my ex and I have some huge fortune. I just need money to pay for the divorce. Thats pretty much it. I never talk to her (when we do talk) about that anyway. Im not really down. Just trying to figure out my next move. As I said before....u chicks are confusing ;-p......exhausting...............yet so intriguing.....and there's my dilemma.

Trying to.

Sounds to me like you are wanting to move into another relationship - when divorce from another isn't even final.


Don't you think you need time alone for a tad to get your perspective straight?


Seems to me like you quickly found interest in another .... most things that spark fast, also fizzle fast.


Why the Virgo females in here wanted all the juice into your situation is beyond me, except maybe just being nosey and needing drama, which needing drama is usual for Virgo women ....


.... because this isn't even about the Virgo female you want .. it's about your issue of want, rather than your need

Thanks for your input P-angel. Now in response to your statements.

1. The divorce isnt final on paper, but as far as feelings for my ex....done...I know this because remember..this is me we're talking about. I know how I feel.
2. I didnt choose this. I've never been a person that needs to be in a relationship. I've got plenty of things to do that occupy alot of my time. Didnt choose it. Cant help the way I feel. Believe me...I've tried.
3. Spark fast?........No, not the case at all. its been damn near a year.
4. As far as the ladies who have cared enough and given their input and advice to try an help me out, I think they're awesome chicks. I cant talk to just anybody about this delicate situation so i'm very thankful that they contribute as much as they do (Thank u ladies ??=). I doubt it has anything to do with needing drama.........and dont virgo's hate drama?
5.Need is a word used very loosly. And your right. It isnt about what I need. If I needed her, I would have a serious problem. Do I want her?....of course I do. The issue is exactly why I started the forum. Its why I explain my situation and ask questions. The issue, is infact, the situation.

Nice composure.Great answer.Awww Joshmoe your welcome.You can get a divorce without a lawyer.Some states have a mediator ,where you both can sit down and hash it out Then just go before the judge.The mediator puts into legalese for you both.Wha La! Signed,sealed and done.

Thanks for the info again vulcanlass. Im going to look into that.

How original. Any opportunity to try and take a dig at the Virgo girls. What a bitter see-through rat. P-brain please go and sit your ass ALL the way down somewhere. Thank you!

@Joshmoe,

Love point #5. That's exactly what the site is for. To ask questions, get answers/feedback/clarity, divulge/share info, etc. *SMGDH*

Moving on...I understand your situation. Divorces are pricey, but I'm sure you will figure it out and get it taken care of eventually. Is there someone you know who can lend you the money?

You strike me as a level-headed person who knows exactly what he wants/how he feels, and believe me I know what you mean when you say you've tried to help the way you feel (I had the similar situation with a Cancer man). It is very strong and just so damn intense. I literally had to say some prayers because the shit just wouldn't go away. I had never in my life had a connection with someone like that before, and the magnetic pull is SICK so trust me, again, I know exactly how you feel.

I'll figure the divorce thing out VV. Pretty much everybody I know is broke. This recession shyt is real. Yea...Imma pretty level headed dude and I do know what I want. The feeling is pretty intense. I love the way it makes me feel yet hate it at the same time. What happened with that Cancer dude?

Posted by Joshmoe
The feeling is pretty intense. I love the way it makes me feel yet hate it at the same time. What happened with that Cancer dude?

Couldn't have said that any better.



The cancer dude? Nothing. Nothing. LOL.

I hit the road before I could find out. It was too much. The feeling that is, and you Cancers are just as confusing as us Virgos. He was trying to keep in touch but as I said, I hit the road and never looked back. I felt too vulnerable...yikes!

There were alot of tell-tale signs, the push/pull, it was exhausting. I don't do well in those situations when a guy is not direct, and I was NOT trying to make a fool of myself so, it is what it ain't and that's that.

VV-ok, so........he wasnt direct?.....how so?..........too vunerable?........is it that hard to let the way u feel about somebody lead u at times?...Make a fool of yourself?...how? and last but DEFINATELY not least.......dayum...wut are my chances with her if this is how u felt. See, this is why I feel like I am screwed sometimes....do u worry about the fact that u may have cheated yourself?......if that guy cared for u the way I do for her, why would u run? Thats how I think she feels sometimes. Like I said, its all in her eyes...always has been...I can see it, but I can also see that she runs.......I dont get it.

Eithet she runs or she doesnt feel the same way. Cant tell........confusing.

"Either"......(still feel like I spelled that wrong)

@Joshmoe

Well when I say not direct, I'm referring to that side-stepping thing you crabbies are infamous for.

He'd come around often but act like he wasn't there for me yet deep down I knew better. Flirt (very subtly), stare (from afar), dress up nicely and try to come around so I could see him, brag about himself, call me for things he already knew the answer too, get nervous around me...you know, all of those sort of classic tell-tale signs of attraction. However, he never actually said "I like you" and I must admit that I was pretty closed off and never flirted back or anything like that but I did like him but I often blew hot & cold, so even if he knew intuitively that I liked him, he never got it from the horses mouth.

Why? well because he had that player vibe going on that so many of you Cancer men are known for and I didn't feel like I could trust him 100% . That's where we will put you on hold and analyze you and lie in wait for your true colors to come out. We're crafty like that. Time is the true tester of authenticity. He liked female attention. Alot. I wasn't about to be somebody's ego boost so, I kept my cards close to my vest and when the time came for me to leave where he and I were, I was gone. He tried to invite me in a very roundabout way to have drinks before leaving and tried to find out where I was going to but I didn't tell him where I was going, and how could I accept an invitation for drinks that wasn't direct? LOL *shrug*

Iono, maybe he never liked me at all but there was def. a chemistry I felt and it was strong. Electrical.

(Continued)

Yes, it is that hard to let the way I feel for someone lead me at times and I still sometimes think that there was a small possibility that I could have cheated myself but there's no use in crying over spilled milk.


Why do we run? Because we're scared. We don't like being vulnerable, much less opening up to someone that could potentially hurt us. We have to be able to trust you completely before moving forward. I have no doubt in my mind that this is what your Virgal is after, and that's one of the reasons why she wants you to finalize your divorce before taking the next step.

That said, every situation is different and just because she's a Virgal like me doesn't mean that she will operate the exact same way as I. Don't worry yourself thinking that she might split on you for good. If you say you see the fear in her eyes, I can absolutely believe that because I know this is the way we can be when it comes to matters of the heart but, we're also pretty brave, and when we are into someone and know that the feeling is mutual we will take that leap of faith provided that certain requirements have been met.

Once the divorce is final then only will you be able to really see where she's at. In the meantime keep reassuring her that she is still the one you want and this will help to continue to build her trust.

Ok. Yea...u pretty much answered all my questions. ??= I do realize that everybody/situation are different, but I do see similarities. U know.

Awww Josh...I hope everything works out for you and the Virgal....it is def a very intense connection but one that seems like it would last a lifetime! I'm in a similar situation with a cancer male...except we have been friends for 9yrs and we have not told each other how we feel....indirectly in the past we have...but as you can see it never got us anywhere lol. Don't let what I said scare you....cause as VV has stated not every virgal or situation is the same.

Thanks VV for putting that out there like that.I concur,that is what that unsure look is meaning,deep in the eyes of some Virgals.

Hi LIMM

Joshmoe,VV is right,every V girl is different.Knowing her many years gives you a leg up.I really hate breaking in a new man.So that is one reason why she won't dash so quickly.Isn't your states' probate/family court is online....??Accessible through link from your States' Offical website...?? Yes,Joshmoe,it IS like that.

Hi Vulcanlass 🙂

Thanks for the input again ladies.
Vulcanlass-It is like what?

Lostinmymind-Why dont u tell him how u feel? If you've known,him 9 years u have to have a pretty good idea as to what tupe of person he is.

That's where the whole vulnerability comes into play for us virgal...we fear rejection as much as you cancers do. If I knew for sure how he felt...I would speak up...but he very indirect and hard to figure that part of him out...I mean I have a feeling but none that I'm 100% positive on....its complicated lol

Lost- U should tell him.

I know lol

I thought you'd give me lip about telling you about link to family court....so I figured I'd beat you to the punch.(I was like verbally re-underlining your options,so you can move along it here.I want you two to have a happy ending before I go grey).

Vulcanlass- oh...lol......comedy. I wasnt going to say anything like that at all. 🙂 before u go grey huh...haha....Im on it....hopefully I can,make that happen for u. Thanks.